The Days of Redemption (48 page)

Chapter Twenty-two

The day had been wonderful. Now, as he and Amanda sat on the couch in the front parlor, Roman finally understood what Viola had felt with Edward.

Now he understood why his sister was willing to pledge herself to a man who was determined to live all over the world. Feeling the way he did about Amanda, Roman knew he was willing to change his idea of his life, of who he was, of who he wanted to be.

That's what happened when a person was in love, he realized. Love made everything in life worthwhile . . . and much in life seem hardly significant at all.

As he turned to the beautiful woman he was falling in love with, he noticed that she'd become increasingly withdrawn over the last few minutes.

“You're pretty quiet,” Roman said after he brought them fresh cups of coffee. “Is something wrong?”

She shrugged in that winsome way he noticed she did when she was at a loss for words. “Not a thing. I'm simply content.” After taking a sip of her coffee, she added, “I guess I've been quiet because I'm so used to Regina constantly chattering in my ear. Perhaps I've forgotten how to have a real conversation.”

“My grandparents have become smitten with her and her chatter.”

“I think she feels the same way. She is enjoying being around a big, gregarious family.”

Her comment surprised him. “I would have thought she would be used to being around so many people, living close to Wesley's family the way you do.”

“We live close to them, but it isn't the same as what you have here.”

Her words seemed a bit evasive. “Why not? Did Wesley not have a lot of siblings?”

“No, he only had one sister and they were never terribly close. But the main reason is that the Yoder family isn't loud by nature. They're fairly quiet people, I guess,” she said after some reflection. “Then, of course, Wesley's sickness and death cast quite a dark cloud over us all. It was hard to concentrate on anything but the cancer, and that he was fading from us in spite of our prayers and the doctors' drugs and treatments. We all became quieter after his death.”

Roman was again reminded of their different life experiences. His naiveté embarrassed him. Until he'd met Amanda, he'd thought of himself as someone who was strong because he'd shouldered many of the farm's responsibilities. Now, he realized that his strength couldn't hold a candle to hers. “Sorry, I didn't mean to be so thoughtless.”

Resting a slim hand on his arm, she shook her head. “Oh, Roman, don't think that. You're not being thoughtless. Truthfully, I never thought about why we are the way we are. I just always accepted it . . . for better or worse.”

She smiled at him, her smile turning the dark night a little brighter. “Though Marlene and Micah have been good grandparents to Regina, I think their grief for Wesley dominated their actions. They've been kind, but a little standoffish.” She wrinkled her nose. “
Nee
, that's not quite right. Anyway, they haven't spoiled her near as much as she would like them to. Not like your family is doing, anyway.”

“I never would have imagined anyone saying that my grandparents were the spoiling kind.”

“They pay attention to her. That's what counts. Roman, haven't you seen how she practically glows around your mother and grandparents? She eats up their attention like a hungry caterpillar! In a lot of ways, Regina is just a little girl aching to fill the gap of all that she's lost.”

Something about the way she said that made Roman realize that Regina wasn't the only one who was trying to fill the gaps in her life. Amanda had been so focused on taking care of her husband and now her daughter that she'd put her own needs aside. Now, she seemed just as eager as Regina to try new things, to have some fresh experiences.

Now, that was something he could help with.

“Hey, I thought I could take you for a ride in our sleigh. What do you think about that?”

“I think it's freezing out!”

“I know, but we could bundle up under some wool blankets.” He waggled his eyebrows. “We could sit really close to keep warm that way.” Just to tease her, he added a little bit of a challenge. “Unless you think your Florida blood can't take the Ohio cold?”

“I was born in Pennsylvania. I can handle the cold and snow.”

He raised his brows. “Are you sure about that?”

“Perfectly sure,” she countered, then chuckled. “Boy, you got my gander up, didn't you? You are incorrigible, Roman.”

“Sometimes being incorrigible has its advantages.”

“And what are those?”

“It lets me get my way.” Taking a chance, he slid closer to her on the couch, wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Take a chance, Amanda. Come for a sleigh ride with me.”

“Just the two of us?”

“Of course.” He would be happy to take Regina for a sleigh ride one day. But at the moment, all he wanted to do was tease and cajole Regina's mother. And maybe, kiss her in the moonlight.

He was, after all, incorrigible.

“Come on, Amanda,” he whispered. “What can it hurt?”

 

Amanda felt a burst of alarm flash through her. His words were igniting all sorts of feelings she'd long ago resigned herself to that she'd never experience again. But here they were, alive and well inside her.

Realizing how eager she was for Roman's attention was more disconcerting than the feel of his arm around her shoulders. Was she even ready for this?

Wesley hadn't been demonstrative with his love for her. Even when they were alone, he hadn't been one to touch or hug her. He was far too reserved for that. But she was finding herself to be much like her precious daughter. She, too, was enjoying the sensation of being around someone who was so open and affectionate.

In her own way, she was soaking up the warmth as much as her daughter was.

But of course, she knew what getting so close to Roman could do. It could hurt her very much. She could get her heart broken.

His arm fell away, making her skin feel chilled.

“Amanda?” he murmured, his gaze searching. “Have I upset you? Did I push too hard? Talk to me.”

She was still focused on her arm. The way it felt so cold with his hand gone. Who knew an arm could be so sensitive, anyway?

But that feeling cemented her decision. If she stayed away from him, if she stayed safe and wary, then chances were very good that she wouldn't be hurt. She could get used to being a little bit cold. Soon, she would forget what it felt like to be warm. She would forget how much she'd ever craved another person's touch.

She could go back to her life, and go back to work. She could find comfort in stranger's smiles.

But she was so tired of being cold.

“That sleigh ride sounds like a good idea,” she finally replied, making her decision. “It sounds
wunderbaar
.”

Roman gazed at her like she'd made his day. “That's great. I promise, I'll bring extra blankets. And I'll heat some bricks for our feet. I won't let you get cold, Amanda.”

She was staring at him, her lips slightly parted, thinking about everything he wasn't saying, when they heard footsteps approaching.

“Mamm?” Regina called out.

Pushing all those thoughts of romance to one side, she turned to find Regina and Elsie. “Hi, you two. Were you looking for me?”

“Regina here was wondering where you two were,” Elsie said. With a meaningful look directed at Roman, she added, “I thought it might be a good idea to find you.”

Regina scampered forward. “Mamm, Mrs. Keim said we could start making cupcakes for the wedding.”

“Truly?”

“My aunt Lorene and aunt Mary Beth are coming over tomorrow,” Elsie explained. “Lorene thought pretty cupcakes iced in different pastel colors would a nice change from the traditional wedding cake. We need to bake over two hundred. Three hundred if possible. We're going to refrigerate them until Monday or Tuesday when it's time to add icing. We'd love your help.”

“And I would love to help you. Regina, you will like making the cupcakes very much.”

“Are you going to make them, too, Roman?”

“Definitely not. Baking and icing cupcakes is a woman's project.”

“What will you do?”

Looking terribly put upon, he sighed. “I suppose I'll have to work.”

“Where?” She wrinkled her nose. “In the smelly barn?”

“That very place. But wait a minute, weren't you just telling me a few hours ago about how much you liked the barn and all the animals?”

“Oh, I like them.”

“Even smelly Sam?”

Her lips curved up. “Especially smelly Sam.”

He chuckled, then to Amanda's surprise, he scooped Regina up and twirled her around.

Regina grabbed hold of his arms, squealed in delight, then said, “Again!”

Amanda felt her insides turn to mush as she realized what was happening. She was falling in love.

Just as she was pretty sure Regina was, too.

With every tug and hug of her daughter, Amanda felt the last of her resistance slip away.

 

Later that night, Roman ignored the knowing glances of his mother and sister as he prepared the sleigh for their ride. While Amanda and Regina were helping with the dishes, he'd gathered a pile of fluffy quilts and a sheepskin cover for the cold leather seat.

Then he'd buckled up the horse to the sleigh. As Roman expected, Chester was excited about being out in the snow. He was shaking his head impatiently as Roman fastened his reins. “Settle, boy,” he said soothingly. “I know you're excited. I am, too, but we need to bide our time. Amanda will be out when she's ready. That's a woman's prerogative, I guess.” And something, he realized, that he might have to get used to.

And though his sisters' dawdling had always annoyed him, now he was finding that he wouldn't mind waiting for Amanda whenever she needed him to.

Chester, obviously not in the same frame of mind, snorted and pawed the ground with a hoof.

“Sorry, horse, she'll be coming along soon. She said she was only five minutes behind.”

In the distance, he heard a familiar laugh. “Are you speaking to the horse about me?”

“Guilty,” he replied with a laugh. “Talking to the animals is a longtime habit of mine, I fear.” As he watched Amanda approach, he added, “I see I'm going to have to watch my mouth in the future. You have ears like a hawk.”

“I believe it's ears like an elephant, and eyes like a hawk.”

“Whatever the case, your hearing is good enough for me to learn to be a bit more circumspect in the future.” Simply thinking about a future of watching for her made him happy. “I'd sure hate for you to hear something best kept secret.”

“Animals do keep the best secrets.”

He held out a hand to help her into the sleigh. “I'm glad you're dressed warmly. You look pretty. I like your violet sweater.”

“Elsie let me borrow it, and the scarf, too.” She tilted her head up at him as he climbed in the sleigh beside her. “I'm surprised you didn't recognize it.”

He wanted to tell her that he rarely noticed much about what his sisters were wearing, but thought that might sound mean. So he concentrated on rearranging the quilts around her more carefully. “Are you warm enough?”

She snuggled a bit closer. “I think so. Where are we going?”

He slipped on his gloves. “Nowhere special. Only down a few roads.”

“Do you use your sleigh much?”

“Hardly ever, if you want to know the truth. I think my father or grandfather bought it in a romantic moment. Or a moment of weakness,” he added after some thought. Actually, he only remembered his parents taking him, Viola, and Elsie out on Christmas mornings. “Right now I can only remember them using it once a year.”

“Whatever the reason, I'm glad you are taking me out.”

“Me, too.” He jiggled the reins and Chester trotted forward, pulling the old sleigh with an eager jerk.

Amanda laughed as they got on their way, then laughed some more as they increased their pace. “I didn't think we could go so fast!”

“Chester is feeling frisky. I hope you're not frightened.”

“Not at all, Roman. I think this is
wunderbaar
!”

Feeling like he was the king of the world—or at least someone terribly special—he clicked the reins, giving Chester permission to continue his brisk pace.

In answer, the horse almost pranced down the road, kicking up bits of snow in his path. The breeze kissed their cheeks and made his eyes water.

But all he seemed to be able to concentrate on was the feeling of her beside him. She felt warm and comfortable. Perfect.

He curved an arm around her shoulders, and after only the slightest hesitation, she snuggled closer. Close enough for him to drop his hand to her waist and give in to temptation by pressing his lips to her cold cheek.

She smiled in return.

He felt euphoric. Lifted. So blessed. He'd found his soul mate, and she felt the same way about him. Before long, they could start discussing weddings and house sites.

After another twenty minutes, Chester finally grew weary and slowed. Roman let the horse set the pace, only gently guiding him to follow the well-worn path back to their home.

As Chester quietly clip-clopped along the gravel path, and the white fields and bare trees glimmered in the snow's reflection, Roman felt as if the whole world was at peace. “I love this,” he whispered. “I love right now. I love this very moment.”

“I love it, too,” Amanda said after a moment. “I don't know how to tell you this, but this, this right now? It's one of the best moments of my life.”

“It's one of my best moments, too, Amanda. Being with you like this—it almost surpasses my dreams.”

Her eyes widened at his flowery words.

Then, to his astonishment, she started crying.