The Dead & Dying: A Zombie Novel (7 page)

Maybe Carl saw something in my eyes as he passed. Or perhaps he instinctively knew what I was thinking.

“There were bits of flesh still stuck in its teeth.” he said. “And I guaran-fucking-tee it wasn't chicken.”

He walked over to where Sadie and Watchmaker stood, wrapped the robe around one of them, adding another layer of warmth and protection.

“Shit girl,” Doc mumbled as he placed a hand on my shoulder, “you act like you've never seen one of those bastards killed before.”

Later that evening we managed to find an old farmhouse that seemed like an oasis of normality in the flat fields. Carl and Doc had left me outside with Sadie and Watchmaker as they swept each room of the house; I held an ax in my hands and was told , in no uncertain terms, that if things went bad not to try anything foolish.

“You just see these two somewhere warm,” Carl had said as he handed me the ax. “We've been working our way south. Keep heading that way.”

  But the instructions proved unnecessary; after nearly a quarter hour of hearing their voices call out “
Clear!”
every few minutes, they finally appeared in the doorway and ushered the rest of us inside.

By the time the sun had begun to set, we had settled into the relative comfort of the living room. The couches and chairs were as old and dusty as some of the pictures hanging upon the wall; springs that were barely concealed by threadbare floral patterns poked into our butts and backs and the entire place had the musty smell of age. We had broken some of the kitchen chairs and had the wood neatly stacked in the stone fireplace with layers of blankets covering every window of the living room; now we were only waiting for night to camouflage the smoke that would soon be curling from the chimney, only waiting for the warmth our bodies so desperately craved.

Even without the fire, though, we were able to peel off some of clothing now that we were free from the bite of the wind; and, for the first time, I got a good look at Sadie and the man called Watchmaker.

Sadie's skin looked as soft and wrinkled as old tissue, her eyes like two dusty sapphires. Her hair, which was the color of old ash, was pulled back into a tight bun and somehow her neck looked as thin and frail as a dry twig beneath the bulk of sweaters and scarves.

What little hair Watchmaker had, on the other hand, was as white as the snow we had recently trudged through... most of it taking the form of a bushy beard that flowed nearly down to the hollow in his neck. His flesh, while as deeply wrinkled as his wife's, looked more like old leather than tissue and his eyes were milky white, like a can of paint that had been spilled into water.

“... and then that sunnava bitch hit that poor girl. Right in the head with a shovel. Took her can of beans and never looked back.”

Sadie shook her head slowly as she finished her story, the frown on her face causing new wrinkles to form around her mouth and eyes.

“Wouldn't have happened back in the day.” Watchmaker piped in. “Even before all this you had people runnin' around like they ain't got a lick of sense. But most of 'em at least had a lick of decency. But now.... ”

I reached forward and touched his hand, amazed at how easy it was to feel the bone beneath the flesh and muscle.

“It'll come back on them.” I said. “You'll see.”

I heard Carl scoff from his place in the easy chair and turned to see him shaking his head like someone listening to a child spin an obvious lie.

“I'm sorry, did I miss something, Carl?”

“Oh no, ma'am. Not at all.”

He fished a cigarette from the pack he'd taken from the corpse and ran it under his nose, inhaling deeply. His face, however, still looked mildly bemused.

“Carl doesn't believe in any of that.” Doc explained with a nod toward his friend.

“Any of what?”

With a flick of the lighter, Carl lit the cigarette and leaned back in the chair with his head tilted toward the ceiling. He slowly released a plume of smoke from his lungs before saying anything.

“Heaven and hell, Karma... all that shit. The way I see it, it ain't nothing more than a way for people to cope. Bad things happen to good people, but it gives them comfort to think there's some sorta justice out there. Even if they have to wait 'til they die for it to happen.”

  “But there
is
justice.” I interrupted. “The Universe seeks balance. It does in everything. Light and dark, positive and negative. Nature has a way of . . .”

“Damn girl, there's no justice out there. Just survival. And, to be perfectly honest, murdering pricks like the one Sadie was talking about will probably last longer than an honest man.”

Carl paused to take another drag from his cigarette. I wanted to argue with him, to prove that he was wrong; but I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that his view of humanity was so bleak.

“Expecting life to be fair just because you're a good person,” he continued, “is like standing in front of a rotter and expecting it not to attack because you're a pacifist.”

“So why bother then?” I stammered. “I've seen how you take care of Sadie and Watchmaker. And I've gathered they're not family . . .”

“Right as rain about that.” Watchmaker said. “Before last month never saw neither of these two boys before.”

“And you still haven't seen me, blind man. Unless you've been lying about something all along.”

The others laughed and Carl continued smoking, leaning forward in his chair with a grin.

“No wait,” I interjected, “I have to understand this. If you don't believe in any type of repercussions why even bother? Why not ditch these two as zombie bait and haul ass at the first sign of trouble?”

Carl had an amused twinkle in his eyes, but his brow furrowed in a manner that made him appear entirely serious.

“Wouldn't be the right thing to do.”

He shrugged and crushed the cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe.

“Just the way I was raised, I reckon.”

“But you have to believe in something.” I insisted.

“Yeah, I suppose you're right... I
believe
I'll have another smoke.”

There was another round of laughter and I remember studying Carl as he lit his second cigarette. I watched how quickly the smile melted from his face, how the twinkle in his eyes faded into that eons old stare, and noticed, for the first time, how he looked at the others through a mask of sadness. As if he somehow knew that this closeness, this fleeting sense of togetherness and belonging, could never withstand the ravages of the new world we'd been thrust into.

And, as I sat there studying this man, I remember wondering exactly what he had seen through those eyes. Since the day the first corpses began to stir with new life, we'd all lost loved ones. We had all felt the pangs of heartbreak, of loneliness and loss. But there was something more to him, something deeper than all of that... and it was something I thought would probably take a lifetime to understand.

CHAPTER TWELVE: THE CHILD

I'd almost been pulled outta the little cave when I heard my Mommy's voice screaming.

“Let 'em go, you bastards, let 'em go, let 'em go!”

Then I heard Mr. Carl's voice, real loud and angry like.

“Monica,
don't
!”

All of a sudden I wasn't bein' pulled anymore so I scurried back into the hole. I realized I was cryin' and I was a little bit embarrassed 'cause it seemed like all I did anymore was cry. But the monsters almost had me and I didn't know what they woulda done if they coulda pulled me out of that little cave but I knew it wouldn't have been anything good.

Outside, I could hear my Mommy still yellin' and Mr. Carl was shoutin' at her to get outta the way, let him handle this but I don't think she was listenin' to him because he just kept on sayin' it over and over.

I'd crawled far enough into the cave that I found a space where I could kinda wiggle around so that I was facin' the way out. I could see all the light comin' through the entrance and every now and then somethin' would run by. But it was too quick to tell if it was a monster, my Mommy, or Mr. Carl.

“Damn it, Monica,
get the hell outta the way!”

Carl was really angry and I began wonderin' what was goin' on out there. So I started crawlin' toward the entrance so I could get a better look.

When I was crawlin', I heard Mr. Carl's gun shoot a coupla times and then I heard him cuss and start yelling at my Mommy some more. But she was still screamin' at the monsters to leave us alone and her voice sounded like she was so mad she was about to cry.

I was finally close enough that I could see outside; Mr. Carl was runnin' along the side of the hill with his gun pulled and held out in front of him like he was a cop or somethin'. Behind him, I saw the little kid monster layin' on the ground. It wasn't movin' at all which made me think that Mr. Carl had prob'ly kilt it when he was shootin' earlier.

Mommy was just a little bit away from my cave and she had this big old limb that she was swinging in front of her like it was a baseball bat. Her face was all shiny with tears, which made me feel better about me cryin' so much, and two of those monsters were coming toward her.

The Daddy monster was a little faster than the Mommy monster and it kinda jumped toward her at the same time she was swingin' the limb. I thought for sure she was gonna hit it, but the piece of wood just barely missed. Then it grabbed my Mommy's shirt in its hands and was pullin' her toward it and Mommy was tryin' to swing her limb but it kinda seemed like the monster's arms kept getting in the way.

Next thing I know, the monster opened its mouth and Mommy started screamin' and I suddenly knew what the monsters wanted to do with us. They wanted to eat us, just like monsters in movies, and I think Mommy knew this too 'cause her screams sounded different this time, like she was more afraid than mad.

I screamed for her and this seemed to remind the mommy monster that I was in the cave 'cause it turned and came runnin' back to where I was hidin'. But I was quicker and I started crawlin' backward again.

Outside, I heard Mr. Carl's gun again, three times: B
am! Bam! Bam!
Then, I heard Mommy scream again but she didn't sound mad or afraid. It sounded more like she'd hurt herself real bad but I didn't have a whole lotta time to think about it 'cause all of a sudden I saw the monster's face lookin' into the cave at me.

I was still close enough that I could see there were bits of bone stickin' out through its burnt up skin and I could also see these little pieces of glass stickin' out of the corner of one of its eyes.

I kept thinkin' it would growl at me or something, but it didn't. It just pushed its hands into the cave like it thought it could actually reach me. And I began wonderin' if monsters had magic powers. If it could make its arm stretch or make itself small enough that it could crawl into the hole after me.

I picked up a rock and was just getting' ready to throw it when I heard Mr. Carl's gun again. At the same time there was this hole that suddenly appeared in the monster's forehead and it just fell down right where it was. But not before I had time to notice that monster blood looked really dark and thick, kinda like black pancake batter with all these little gray bits mixed in.

Then the monster disappeared and I saw Mr. Carl's face lookin' into the cave.

“It's okay, son.” he said. “They're all dead. Come on out now, it's okay.”

All I could think about was havin' my Mommy's arms around me and hearin' her tell me that everything was gonna be fine. So I crawled outta the cave just as fast as I could.

When I got toward the entrance, Mr. Carl kinda pulled me out and lifted me over the body of the monster he'd killed, but as soon as he put me down I was runnin' to where my Mommy was, hollerin' her name as I started cryin' again.

She was sittin' on the ground but she still gave me a big 'ole hug and held my head against her shoulder. She rocked back and forth and petted my hair and she was cryin' too which made me squeeze her even more tighter.

After a while, I heard Mr. Carl behind us and his voice was real soft and sad sounding.

“You shoulda just let me get clear shot. You shoulda just let me handle it.”

When I heard him, I got mad all over again for him tellin' me to shut up when I was lost in the woods. I pulled away from Mommy and was getting' ready to yell at him when I realized that my chest felt kinda sticky like.

I looked down and saw all this blood where my shirt had been ripped only it wasn't dark like monster blood but red like people blood. And then I looked at my Mommy and saw that she had blood all over her shirt too and there was a huge tear in the side.

And I realized that Mommy looked kinda sick. Her face was real white and she seemed kinda shaky.

Now that she wasn't huggin' me, she wrapped her arms around herself and kinda pressed in where all the blood was comin' out.

When Mr. Carl spoke again, he was cryin' too.

“Why didn't you just let me get a shot?”

I was real scared 'cause I knew the monster had tried to eat my Mommy but I tried to be brave 'cause I knew that's what she would want.

“It's okay.” I said. “It didn't get you too bad, Mommy. We just need to get a buncha Band Aids or somethin'. And Mr. Carl killed it so it won't try to get you again.”

Mommy put her hand on the side of my cheek and looked me straight in the eyes like she always did when she was really serious about somethin'.

“I love you, baby.” she told me. “I love you more than anything in the world.”

I tried to tell Mommy that I loved her too, but when I opened up my mouth the words kinda felt like they got stuck somewhere down in my throat. And for the first time in my life I got really scared in a way I can't really explain; I felt like all I wanted to do was crawl back into that cave with my Mommy and stay there forever. I would hold her in my arms like she always held me and keep her safe and make sure nothin' bad ever happened to her.

But somehow I still couldn't clear my throat enough to tell her I loved her too.

“I know baby.” she whispered. “I know.... ”