Chapter Three
New Town
The ride down to Missouri was uneventful. The only thing that made them nervous was the storm clouds that were brewing and the newsman talking about how they were still deep in the heart of tornado season. There would be storms off and on all week and the heat was going to be a scorcher.
Chuck said, "I hope the hotel we're staying at has a basement."
Pete said, "You know the further we get down south the fewer basements we're going to get. You just do like Jude says and work hard so we can be outta there in a week. Hell, there's a chance that I might even get me back on good conditions with my girl."
Jude smiled and he said, “You boys want in on a little secret?”
The three other men nodded and Jude said, “If we get it done early, if we can be done in a week, I got a five hundred dollar bonus coming in to split between all of us.”
Chuck said, “And this is the reason why you're the best damn boss there is.”
Jude said honestly, “It is kind of simple guys, if I don't have you kicking ass, I'm not going to make any extra money. Last thing we want to do is get a contract job and then take our sweet time doing it. If we can be done early, maybe we'll see some more of these jobs. I don't mind doing the traveling when there's enough money that I can't fit it in my wallet. That's what you might call a good problem to have. Shaw’s able to pay us better for contract work than I am so if he’s getting this kind of money we are going to be doing well.”
When they arrived in town four hours later they had to stop short. The town had been littered heavily with trees. One of the stores had an entire fifty-year-old oak tree going through the front display windows. When the men saw the number of downed trees just on Main Street alone, they realized five hundred might not have been a big enough bonus. But they didn't care. They were here to work and that was something those Iowa boys are good at as well as knowing they had a big payday regardless heading their way.
Chuck said, “Probably a damn good thing we brought the big saws with us huh? I think there’s a good chance we're going to need them here real short like. You got any idea where you want to start?”
Jude shook his head no. He said, "It ain't like I've ever been here before either. But I think if we want to get on anyone's good side, we make it so the shop owners can get those windows fixed at the diner. Then we work our way down the first half of the street so at least they can drive on it again. After that, we take it a section at a time for the four miles down. After that, we go around town and we clean up what's left of it."
When they pulled to a stop Chuck said, “You guys want to know one good thing about all this?”
Roger said, “You mean besides the fact that this is going to be our biggest payday of the summer?”
Chuck said, “Yes besides that.”
Roger said, “Okay what's the good news?”
“You know that chili I ate for dinner last night?”
Pete said, “Yeah what about it?”
"Well I thought, you know I was all out of farts. I was wrong." Chuck smiled as he let out the last long vicious one for the ride. The men spilled out of the van gasping for air and looking like a group of fools in front of the townspeople who had been waiting impatiently for someone to finally be sent to town.
The sheriff of the town drove by hitting his horn once in the boy’s direction. He said, “Y'all boys okay? We don't need you dying now, we've been waiting long enough for somebody to come down here and help our asses out. You need anything?”
Jude pushed off the ground ready to kill Chuck and said, “No we are good now that we got a little fresh air. We are near cured sheriff. My friend in the van might have eaten just a little bit too much chili last night before we left for our trip.”
The sheriff said, “Well if he likes chili, then I got a hell of a place I can recommend to him.”
Chuck smiled waving, “Oh yes sir, I love chili sir, I could probably eat it every single day.”
Pete said, “Sheriff you go giving him the name of the restaurant, there's no way we're going to be done in a week here. We won't live that long.”
The sheriff tipped his cowboy hat saying, “Well I best let you boys get working.”
With that, he put the car back in drive and pulled away slowly checking out the town driving his normal routine. Jude gave a short wave to the sheriff and stretched out his back. He didn't have to ask if the men were ready to make money because he knew they always were. He walked to the back of the van opening each of the doors outward. They worked like one as a team and didn't need to be told what to do, they had been through this routine thousands of times.
Pete was looking around the town and asked, “Are you sure we're going to get this done in a week?”
Chuck patted him on the shoulder. He said, “Of course we're going to get this done because if I miss out on my bonus and future big paying jobs because of you I will snap my foot off in your ass son. You got any questions about that?”
Jude said, “You do realize things like that can get a business owner in trouble right?”
Chuck smiled proudly giving Jude a thumbs-up. He said, "There ain't anything to worry about. You see I don't have any business, you do. I'm not going to get in any trouble. Say anything anyway he's a good old boy aren't you Pete."
He walked away sliding on forearm armor to protect his arms as well as putting the same material around his jeans murmuring, “Dip shit.”
Chuck said, “Now you know I'm just kidding. Don't go getting all upset on the first day of the job.”
Jude handed out the saws keeping one for himself, they stood around for a second staring at the businesses seeing the amount of work they really had in for themselves.
Roger said, "Where are we starting boss man?"
Jude pointed to the diner. He said, "I say if you boys want somewhere to eat this week it might not be too bad of an idea if we start over at that diner. We get that tree out of there and I bet he would feel obliged to serve us lunch today."
Chuck didn't have to be told a second time, he was already walking towards the diner pulling back on the cord of the chainsaw.
Pete said, “Damn, maybe you just need to tell him that every one of those stores with a tree in it serves food.”
Roger said, “He is always on a mission when it comes to food.”
Jude said, “Don't forget about the ladies as well. He loves the ladies.”
People didn't stand around long before they got bored watching the men do their best to start putting the town back together. Within an hour and a half they had gotten the diner tree free. A man from the hardware store looked as if he was loving life right now as he measured the window frame and making marks on a giant pane of glass. The shop owner came out smiling giving a thumbs-up and shaking hands.
He said, "You make sure you boys stop in here around lunch time I'll make sure there's something hot for you to eat. I've been waiting a few days to have someone come help and it's hard to make any money when a tree is sitting through your store and covering your dining area."
Jude shook his hand and patted the man on the shoulder and said, “We’re happy to help.”
The men spent the rest of the week sweating, aching, and not taking any breaks from the job. They had something to do and until they were confident that each and every last piece of wood was done they weren’t going to be able to say it was complete. Jude stared at all the wood wishing there was some way he could take it home with him knowing that he could heat half of the city with as much as they had cut. He knew also that it’d take another week to load it all.
Chuck said exactly what he was thinking, “Ya know it's a damn shame we can't take any of those with us man.”
Jude knew there wasn't anything he could do about the spilled milk. He said, "Don't worry about it. We're going to make enough money we don't have to worry about pushing the firewood as hard as we normally would. Hell, if we get lucky maybe he'll hire us for another job."
Pete walked over rubbing his biceps shaking his head. Pete said, “Man you are one crazy son of a bitch if this is easy work. I sure as hell know that I have made easier money than this. But this ain't easy man, this sucks.”
Jude just said, “What? Would you rather work in some hot office without air conditioning?”
“Hell no I wouldn't want to work in an office, I’m not letting anyone stick me in a fucking cage.”
Roger just said, “Well I bet if we get you in the drunk cage that might be close enough to the same thing huh?”
Jude kicked over the last piece of wood and stripped off his shirt. He wiped the sweat and sawdust away from his neck and shoulders and said, “I tell you what, the first round, hell the first hour is on me tonight. You guys did a hell of a job, I'm damn proud to call you guys my employees. Let's get the rest of this shit cleaned up, and then we can just plan on having a late dinner and get on the road early in the morning.”
Pete said, “Bullshit, it's Thursday night. Why don't we stay down here for a while and take a day off and relax. You do that Friday I'll get you so damn shit faced you won't know which way is up.”
Jude shook his head no and climbed in the van. When he went to turn it over it wouldn’t start.
“Goddamn thing won't start. Sarah will probably send a piece of shit down for me to get us home."
Pete walked to the front popping the hood and leaned over checking it out. He saw that nothing looked out of place and looked to the boys for help.
He said, “I'll make you one hell of a deal.”
Jude said, “Yeah what's that going to be?”
"Well, right now it would seem that your luck is just about ready to get good, but someone went and took a big old shit on top of your good luck. What if I said that me and Roger will work on the truck tonight if we could just stay until Saturday morning? God knows all of us could use one day off and it wouldn't hurt us a damn bit to stay one extra day."
Jude said, “You got any other choices for me that I can contemplate Pete?”
"Yeah I got a couple options for you Jude; one you can call and tell Shaw that his van broke down after you finished the job. So you got options A, which we probably both know he won't give two shits about and will blame you for it breaking and option B, well no you got pretty much no options so it is option A.
”
Chapter Four
Bad News
The phone rang startling the sleeping president Shaun Phelps, of Evans Chemicals Inc. He rolled over in bed staring at the alarm clock on the nightstand trying to make out the time and to blink away the sleepy confusion. He realized it was not sleep that was in his eyes but a lack of glasses and that he was still piss drunk, which made it impossible to focus. He gave up trying to figure out what time it was realizing it made no difference. He gripped the phone and worked through a bout of coughing and tried clearing his throat.
"He - he - hello, who - who is this?"
An eastern accented voice came over that made his country twang sound like a redneck said, "Mr. Phelps I trust? That is you?"
Phelps said, “Yeah.”
The other man who didn’t have a sense of humor said, “Sir I'm calling with a purpose and I think this is something which you’d like to know. You paid quite a lot of money to get this info.”
“Shoot.”
“The decision was agreed upon by the republicans last night. The clean land act is going to revolutionize how things are done with chemicals and how they are dealt with once they have been created. Companies like yours are …”
Phelps cut him off. “They are going to ruin me, goddamn politician fuckers. If I could go and slit their fucking throats open I would. Those sons of bitches. What choices do I have?”
“None sir. You need to do whatever you want to do before Saturday comes. As of Saturday they are going to be sending people from the government to see what you are doing and give you a mile long list of changes on waste storage that you’ll need to make to be able to stay open if you want to.”
“Of course I want to stay open you dumb shit. I wouldn’t have forked over that kind of money to get a heads up if I didn’t.”
The man said, “Is there anything else I need to know?”
Phelps said, “No, but if you hear anything else you’ll be sure to dial my number correct?”
"Yes, I always do sir."
Phelps turned on the light to his room and sat up in bed. His skinny frail frame leaned over the bed on his knees lighting up a smoke and taking a drink from the one he'd not finished when he'd finally passed out. He took a long deep pull on it thinking of the thousands and thousands of gallons of waste they’d been storing for as long as he could remember. He knew he would have to get rid of as much of it as possible, but he had to think of two suckers that would be dumb enough to do so for him.
Chapter Five
Friday After Hours
Matt sat in the chair outside of the president's office fanning himself with a magazine that was from the previous president’s term. Bill watched his friend sweating bullets shaking his head.
Bill said, “What the hell are you so nervous about? Relax man, take it easy.”
Matt wiped the sweat from his brow and replied, “You're shitting me right? It's never good when you go talk to the boss man. You know how I like to do things; I like simplicity. I go in and punch that goddamn clock, I keep my head down. I get done, I don't talk to anyone and then when I am done I leave and punch the clock again. I go home, drink me some beer, eat some chicken, and pass out watching football on TV. That is what you call a good day of work.”
Bill shook his head confidently and said, "You need to have what they call an optimistic outlook Matt. Do you want to know what I think is going on?"
“Would it matter if I said no Bill?”
Bill said, “That hurts my feelings; hell no it wouldn't matter though if you didn't want me to tell you. Things are looking up for us brother. They are finally noticing how hard we work, we're going places. We’re going to be upper management in no time.”
Matt said, “We don't work hard, hell half the time you don't even come in. The only reason they don't fire your ass is because your uncle plays poker with the president twice a week.”
“That has nothing - well yeah you're probably right. But what other reason would he have us meet him here on a Friday night when everybody else is gone, but to give us a big damn promotion.”
Matt stared blankly wishing just a small dab of common sense would kick in once to his friend. He said, "You do realize most of the time when they fire somebody, they let you work your whole damn work week killing yourself, and then fire your ass on a Friday. You had thought about that correct?"
Bill opened his mouth and then shut it contemplating what his friend said not liking the fact that he was agreeing with him. He knew damn well the amount of hours he truly put in here could probably be counted on one hand for a day's work. He also knew that he was upper management material because he could sit on his ass with the best of them. And he had no problems about firing people. Giving them one last paycheck and telling them to have a good day and thanks for your hard work, sorry but we got to let you go.
Bill said, “Nah I don't think they're going to let us go, hell the HR department already left for the day. They got to have us talk to them before they fire your ass so we can fill out unemployment shit.”
Matt just stared, “You did not make me feel a damn bit better.”
Bill said, “I got just the thing for you brother, call me a problem solver. I'll make you a deal.”
Matt said, “A deal?”
Bill said, "You got it, Matt. You get fired I buy you a beer, now I follow that beer up with another one, another, and another until you don't worry about not having a job no more or you pass out, whichever happens first."
Matt said, “And if we get promoted?”
Bill smiled, “Well hell we celebrate with beer goddamn it, it ain't every day two bums like us get a step up in the world. It would just go to show all those college graduates that two guys with a GED can do just goddamn fine in the world.”
Bill slapped Matt on the knee jumping in his seat and then clapping his hands. He could already see the management title on his new office door he had been daydreaming about all day. It was the first thing he’d thought of when he got the memo from Mr. Phelps that he wanted to see them.
The doorknob rattled to Phelps’ office and as confident as Bill was his heart was still in the back of his throat. Phelps stuck his head out of his office. The tall man towered over the two sitting in the waiting room chairs.
Phelps said, “Boys why don't y’all come in here and let's have us a little conversation.”
He disappeared back into his office not waiting for the two men to stand and left the door ajar for them. Matt looked over to Bill and said, “Alright genius do we have conversations when we are getting our dumb asses fired?”
Bill pushed up from his seat trying to stretch his shirt over his belly and said, "How the hell would I know? I can't believe you go talking about us getting a promotion and then he comes out talking about a conversation and we go and get bad Kashmir."
Matt pushed up from his seat also wondering if this would be his last minutes working at Evans Inc. or not. He looked at Bill for a second shaking his head and said, "It's called karma not Kashmir you dip shit. Is it nice living in your world? Do the little voices that tell you about the dumb shit in your head make you feel better at night? It must be nice, I have always heard that ignorance is bliss, and I think that just might be the one thing you are most definitely blessed with."
Bill pushed the door open for himself and Matt and said, "Best not to worry about shit that is out of our control. Let's get this over with.
”
Matt whispered, “Either way we're getting goddamn drunk tonight.”
Bill patted Matt on the shoulder and whispered, “Amen brother, amen.”
They both walked in to see Phelps sitting at his desk where even seated he still looked gigantic. It was just after six o'clock on a Friday and he had a coffee cup with a large bottle of Jack Daniels sitting right next to it.
Matt smiled pointing at the bottle, "Are you celebrating tonight sir?"
Phelps shook his head no as he took the bottle unscrewing the cap to it and depositing a very healthy amount of the amber colored liquid into his dirty coffee cup. He said with just a bit of slur in his voice, “Gentleman thank you for coming in on a Friday night. I'm sure you have better things you could be doing with your time.”
Neither man was quite sure how to take that so they remained quiet for a moment longer. Bill couldn’t help himself letting there be quiet in the room and said, “No problem at all sir we are always here for you and this great …”
Phelps cut him off interrupting, "Cut the shit, Bill, it's been a long damn week and I don't have the patience for it. Is there a reason you two are still standing? You are kind of creeping me out. Were you under the impression this was going to be a short talk? Sit down, now!"
The two men looked at each other nervously taking a seat, and Matt, of course, followed Bill's lead. Matt said, "Uh are we in trouble sir, did we do something wrong?"
Phelps picked up the coffee cup swirling it around on the inside appearing to contemplate something before deciding that tonight was not going to be a sipping night. He would surely pay for it tomorrow but as of today could give two flying shits. He took the cup back slamming all the whiskey with one large drink. From the look on his face you would have thought he had just taken a drink of water, the burn did not affect him whatsoever. Bill who did not mean to actually say something said, "Damn sir you did have a long week. Is there something we can do to help you? If we did anything wrong or if we're in trouble I'd like to know, please."
Phelps smiled and actually started laughing as he poured himself a second even more generous round of whiskey.
"This whole goddamn country is in trouble boys. We got too many bastards getting into politics and all they are doing is fucking what ain't already broken up. They make it damn difficult for a hardworking man, like myself to keep a business. All they do is stand in and lobby against chemical factories trying to make the people of America fear us. They ignore the fact that we give people good paying jobs that keep them from standing on the streets looking for a damn hand out. Keep them from going out stealing and getting into all kinds of goddamned trouble. Christ, they owe me a damn award or something. Have the two of you been watching the news lately?"
Both men shrugged. Neither were avid watchers of the news, at least not for more than five minutes a day when the sports were on.
"You two boys weren't too big on school were you?"
Bill opened his mouth to talk and Phelps cut him off holding up a hand. He said, "Bill that's what you call a rhetorical question, don't answer. I already know the answer. There's a new law that goes into effect boys. You see they're going to make us redesign everything here. Hell, it'll probably put me under. We are going to have to pay fees and taxes and fines on every barrel worth of shit we got here on hand. Well, you know we got a lot of barrels right? If you add that to the fee I'm going to have to pay just to try and keep this open, it'll leave me without a dime to my goddamn name. On top of all that, we'd be stuck with all this shit and wouldn't be able to get rid of any of our waste. All those barrels of shit is just going to have to stack on stack on stack on everywhere. We are going to have it coming out our asses by the time we're done."
Bill said, “That's horrible sir, it's too bad we couldn't get rid of it.”
Phelps smiled pulling out a cigarette from his pack he offered one to the two men who both declined. He said, “You two boys don't mind if I light up a cigarette do you?”
The two went to answer again and Phelps said, "Rhetorical. Again boys I don't give a shit. As of today it is still my office and my building. The way I look at it, if you don't like it then you can just get the fuck out if you got a problem with it. Bill, you had a hell of an idea though son."
Bill pointed to himself and Phelps nodded his head.
Bill said, “I did sir?”
"Yes, you did. You see this new law they got, well it is going to go into effect tomorrow. Any chance you boys can tell me what today is?"
Bill stared intently looking like he was going to jump out of his seat.
Phelps said, “Now this one is not a rhetorical question son.”
Bill sat up straight in his seat. “Tomorrow is Saturday sir it's our day off sir. Today is Friday.”
Phelps smiled leaning back in his seat. “That's right son it is Friday, and if we don't get rid of some of this waste I'd say just about every day is going to be your day off. You know the kind of day off, where you don't get paid. Do you two like getting paid?”
Both men nodded slowly in the affirmative. Phelps continued, "Well if we don't get rid of this you're not going to be having any paid days, hell no one including myself is. Can you imagine what will happen to the people and what all the businesses in the city will have to do if this place shuts down? Hell, probably eighty percent of adults work here in the city. All the other business in town will go to shit in a handbag in no time at all. What I need from you guys is to get rid of some of the waste, simple as that. Let me tell you, it won't soon be forgotten if you can step up and do your part. You'd forever have a place here as long as y'all want it."
Matt said, “Then you are saying you are sure it's not illegal?”
Phelps held out a hand tipping it from side to side. “Son sometimes we have to question the legality the government puts before us. Do you understand what that means?”
Matt said, “It means maybe if I want to keep my job, that maybe I don't need to ask so many questions, is that about it sir?”
Phelps smiled lighting up the cigarette. He pulled out two additional stained brown mugs setting them on the desk and poured a decent shot worth of the whiskey into each of them. He slid them across the desk towards each of the two men and held up his own saying, “Salut.”
They looked at each other realizing they probably didn't have a choice but to take the shot. Bill said, “Where is it we are supposed to take the stuff to sir?”
Phelps said, "I'd like to know as little about where it goes as possible so I have as much legal deniability as possible. Just make sure you take it a long way away from here, please. I don't want this shit coming back on us. You drive slowly, you take the limit on the speed, and you make goddamn sure that you do it when it is dark which given the time of day shouldn't be hard. Is there anything about that you can't comprehend?"
Both men shook their heads no. Matt said, “I got an idea where we can go sir, leave it up to me.”
Phelps leaned back in his chair crossing his legs wondering how much more he needed to know, and if he should ask any more questions or if they could actually come through and deliver for him.
He said, "Just make sure you two don't fuck this up. There are a lot of people riding on this and it cost me a lot of money to find out the information that I did when I did. The senators might look like upstanding individuals, but they are also the most crooked sons of bitches there are. If it was up to me they'd have stripes on them just like the boys down in county prison do working on the chain gang."
Matt held up his hands and said, “We got this sir we can take care of it. We like this place right fine and we don't want to worry about losing our jobs, or our friends losing theirs. This town is like family. Just remember how good we did if anything hits the fan if you know what I mean.”
Phelps opened his desk drawer and pulled out a set of keys and tossed them to Matt. He also pulled out two blue envelopes. He tossed one in front of Matt and the second in front of Bill.
“Now you two guys take this, think of it as my thank you, don't go opening these until you're out of here you understand? You both go down and you see Thornbrugh in the shipping docks, he's going to get you going and you guys leave and you don't come back ‘til you're done. He doesn't know what you're doing and you don't know what he's doing. Keep it that way. Remember sometimes ignorance is bliss.”