Authors: M. F. Bvlgari
He didn’t expect her to say that now she only wanted to be friends, just friends and not friends with benefits. Something in her head changed and she had taken a position on him, feeling that he had lost the control he thought having over her. He didn’t know if he could be near her without being only a friend, he wanted her so badly, he desired her whenever he saw her, and he was always ready for her wanting to have her at every opportunity. He wanted her so intensely he was feeling that it could turn into an obsession.
But what should he do now?
How can they be friends without sex?
He did not know if that was what he wanted. He didn’t like to feel confused about a woman, the last time he felt confused was when he discovered at age 40 that he was madly in love for a 10 years older woman, and he didn’t want to go back down that road again. He couldn’t, nor willing too. When Carolina awoke was more lucid than ever about him, determined to be only her friend and she would go with her decision forward. It was not all other times, this time was different and she felt in every bone. She was decided to reject any physical contact with him at any cost and would do nothing to change her mind. And he couldn’t do anything to change her mind, ever again. If he doesn’t accept her as a woman, she wasn’t going to let him step over, ever again. The enchantment that he had on her disappeared, giving way to deception, she only hoped she had the strength to deal with him in the coming days. She instead of running away from him she decides to return to the cabin when it was almost dark to make a delicious dinner, she wanted to be entertained, pass the time, didn’t want to give the importance that he didn’t deserve.
Going up the stairs to the cabin notices that the Jacuzzi cover is open.
He was at the Jacuzzi or was going there now
. – She thought while passing by, it doesn’t matter going to the kitchen to do a delicious dinner, if he wanted to join her, good, if he didn’t want too, she would dine happily alone. Looking inside the refrigerator and freezer, she found shrimp for the starter, there were ingredients to make a nice quiche with cheese and mushrooms. She began to work on the dinner when he appeared in the kitchen, she asks with the most natural tone in the world, as if the conversation they had before never existed between them hours ago:
"Are you hungry? I'm doing “
shrimps à Guilho”
and quiche with green salad.”
"Yes I would love that, I discovered a few games in the living room, there are cards, checkers and dominoes what do you think? Could we play after dinner?"
"Good idea, we could try something"
She said looking at him smiling as he walked from one side to the other in the tiny kitchen while she was trying to make dinner.
At least he didn’t seem upset about it, and it facilitates communication among us
– she thought.
"Would you like me to help you with dinner?"
He asks, surprised at himself because he couldn’t cook.
"You can set the table and fill up the glasses with wine if you want"
JP was relieved not having to show his culinary skills he didn’t possess. While Carolina was busy making dinner, she thought it was too weird being in silence walking from one side to the other, so she decided to make conversation with him:
"The other day you said you had built an empire from nothing, the way you have spoken from it, I understood you had a difficult childhood. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
He remained in silence for a while, eventually he opens a bottle of wine that he had just choose, he filled two glasses of wine, offering one to Carolina, he sat down at the table and took a sip of wine before he started talking.
"Today is only a distant memory, but at the time it devastated me completely, took me into the abyss, and did things I shouldn’t have done. I was able to rediscover myself before it was too late. As a teenager the family who had raised me had a car accident and they died all"
Carolina looked shocked and surprised with his revelation, she never expected he could have been so rebellious, he is so healthy this days. He doesn’t smoke, he barely drinks, and he likes to be in control of all situations all the time.
"You were adopted?"
Asks Carolina intrigued and embrace seeing the recall anguish in his eyes, but remained quiet.
"No, my grandparents and my aunt"
"What about your parents?"
"My parents split when I was a baby and never got to know them.
My grandparents and my aunt, they were the ones who raised me.
On the day that my family had the accident, I had fled to the house of a friend of mine, I had a small accident at the house and my friend frightened called my grandparents to say that I had cut myself badly in the window glass and I was bleeding a lot, I needed to go to the hospital. He omitted that we had been smoking pot and had been doing silly stunts because of the drug’s effects, that’s why I got cut in the glass. If they hadn’t gone to pick me up to take me to the hospital, they would still alive today."
Carolina was impressed with his story while she knew from his face expression that he was still in pain while he tells her and remembers everything in his mind.
"Wow you should have gone through hell, but I see you today as a man with a very solid and strong personality."
She said truthfully, resting her hand on top of his hand pressing it gently, trying to give him some kind of comfort.
Recalling when her mother died of cancer, she was only 12, getting to live with his father, watching her father suffer daily as her mother fade with the disease and the suffering she carried after her mother had gone. She couldn’t forget that her father had ignored her completely as a child, forgetting to care about her completely who was also suffering with the loss, needing affection and support from her father. There was no money in the world that could save her mother and Carolina got out of that cursed mansion full of bitterness and empty of love when she turned 18 years, she went to live alone in a small studio, working during the day and studying at night, cutting off the contact with her father completely for years. She kept her thoughts to her, she didn’t want him to feel what she was feeling for him right now, and she felt genuinely sorry for him.
Aware that she was touching his hand, she takes her hand off as she had been burned in the skin.
"Thank you for your support, but today I'm fine, now I feel strong and I am a happy man"
Strong in all areas of certainty
- she thought -
but happy?!
She had a few doubts.
"I am sure that one day you will find a woman who will make you even happier, happier than you are right now. Then it will be perfect."
She told him without thinking of the words because after opening her mouth and realize what she had said aloud, she was amazed to look at him momentarily to avoid the discomfort of what she had just said, she puts quickly the prawns ready on the table, while the quiche was cooling down. They began to eat and she saw in his expression that he enjoyed the food.
"What do you think of the shrimps, have you had ever eating that?"
Carolina asks.
"It's the first time I have shrimps made this way and I love them, you can continue to invite me to eat it"
He confessed while smiling with those powerful and seductive blue eyes where she get lost so easy, or used to, and now she strove to maximum to block that effect and stay emotionless to it. She said teasing him:
"My dear friend ...I will think about your case"
Throughout the dinner they spoke about themselves, where they had grown up, things they liked to do, about their work. Carolina just generalized talk about her childhood, avoiding telling him what he should know, because she thought they were there just for a few more days and then they will never see each other again, it wasn’t worth it to let him know everything about her. They talked about nonsense’s, tearing each other to laugh.
After dinner they were playing cards, played black jack, he earns first, she wanted the rematch she didn’t accept the defeat, they played again, and she wins. Playing a third time and at last cards, he wins. They start the checkers game and she wins in all, he ends up frustrated with himself it was obvious he didn’t like to lose at anything. Then he had the idea to play cards but the game ‘who take the highest strength card has the right to ask a question to the other, the other being obliged to answer honestly’.
Unconsciously he felt the need to know more about her, and so it was a good excuse to ask a few questions he needed to know the answers too.
They began and he draws the highest card and asks the first question:
"When was the last time you had sex before reaching the island?"
When Carolina hears the question, she remember Nils, she hadn’t really remembered him since they arrived on the island.
"Well, the last time was with my boyfriend Nils, maybe a week ago or so. Days before reaching the island, I'm not sure."
She replied without really knowing what would be his reaction to learn that she still had a boyfriend. He looks at her in awe of the response, not expected her to say that she had a boyfriend. Was she really telling the truth?! Or was it only to piss him off? He knew she had begun dating someone months ago, but he always thought it would not last.
But after all that time they are still together?
How serious can it be?
Will he lose her forever for that boyfriend when they arrive in London?
Taking new cards, each one takes over and she takes the highest card. She thinks about a question that she could do to him and this was the opportunity to ask him the questions that she wanted to see answered honestly.
"Why did you fell in love with a woman 10 years older and not by any other, what made the difference?"
He smiled, looked at the floor and looking at the endless remembering the good times he had lived with his ex-girlfriend confided.
"We already knew each other for a few years and she worked in one of my business, the models agency in the recruitment area. She was a model when she was new, so she knew the business. Earlier she didn’t bring herself to my attention because she was older and was my employee. But she was confident, she wasn’t pretentious, didn’t give me much attention, challenged me intellectually, it wasn’t like other women who just ran after me, she had high moral values, very intelligent with a degree education, drop-dead gorgeous, simply magnificent and unique."
Wow there is really no way to compete with someone so perfect
- thought Carolina, but made no comment.
Again they took a card each, being his turn to ask the question.
"When we leave the island, will you tell your boyfriend what happened here?"
Now Carolina had been caught completely of guard, she hadn’t even thought about it herself, she didn’t know what was going to tell Nils when she got back.
Will he believe in the true story that seems more fiction than anything else?!
She sighed, looked away not knowing what to say, shrugged saying.
"To be honest I haven’t thought about it yet, I don’t know what I'll say to him. Most likely he will not believe in the truth and will probably end everything because I screwed up and he won’t have me back after this whole mess."
He looked at her carefully trying to capture every word she said.
Then she may become available after we leave here, interesting. Interesting, what, what, she is not a woman to me.
Thoughts clouded his imagination and he didn’t like to feel vulnerable.
"Will you stay with him or do you prefer to be alone?"
Questioning her further forgetting that he could only ask one question at a time.
"Ah you still need to play first and take the highest card to ask make new question don’t you?"
Trying to avoid the question, because she didn’t know what would she do after returning to London, but knew she had to answer if she lost the next round. By a sheer of luck she won this time and had the right to make him a new question.
"Have you met many women through the application which you end up having sex with them?"
"Yes, I did."
She felt that this game with questions could become too intimate, it could turn to a point where she could regret answer to honest with him, he didn’t deserve to know the truth, she doesn’t want to be asked about her feelings for him or if she was in love for him. It was something she wanted to avoid the most, especially now that they agreed to stay only friends and any expectations of a relationship is now closed forever. So she decided to say that she was tired of playing, arguing in a friendly manner that she wanted to stop. JP ends up agreeing with her and suggests going for a little bit to the Jacuzzi which is still uncapped waiting for someone to use it.
At first Carolina found it was a good idea, but after saying yes, she wasn’t so sure anymore, she wanted to stay away from him and not be touched by him at any point anymore. He notices that she showed up hesitantly and said:
"Don’t worry because I know you want us to be just friends. I can have lots of flows but not being a gentleman isn’t one of them, I will completely respect your decision, is the only thing I can do for you. Common let’s go"