Authors: M. F. Bvlgari
I can’t admit that I miss her.
He thought while seeing her going away. Carolina went home, cooked dinner, she needed a distraction. Her sons when they saw the effort that their mother made for dinner they asked what was the reason for the improved dinner. Then she explained what was happening with the marriage and divorce to her sons, telling that she needs to live for six months with JP to obtain the divorce. When they hear the mother explain the judge's decision, they can’t resist and burst themselves to laugh but if they were married it made perfect sense to live together. They quieted the mother that she could move in with JP, they would be alright in the apartment all by their own, she could go there every day if she wanted to see them, and they expected to have lunch and dinner at her mother's new home frequently. They said. Carolina never thought it could be so easy to see her living with JP, and how easy it was to handle with her sons, they were just amazing to her. She was so impressed by them, so mature and so understanding.
Changes
On the way Carolina’s work she sent a message to JP:
“I have spoken with my son’s yesterday evening. I can go and live with you the six months to obtain the divorce, but I have three conditions:
I don’t want to become involved sexually with you, I sleep in a room alone, and I paid my expenses. Carolina.”
He replied immediately:
“Excellent idea coming and living with me, I’m very happy for your decision. As for your conditions I will endeavour to respect them. About the bills I pay them, first because it makes no difference to me and second I am still your husband and it's my obligation. Can you move today? JP”
“I’m going home in the end of the day to get two bags. But I will often return to my apartment because of my sons”
“Great, tell me when you arrive to be at home and receive you”
Replies JP. Carolina’s day passed slowly, she had so much on her head, she has to organize so many things that most of the time when her colleagues spoke to her, she was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t even hear them. They dare to comment jokingly that marriage was not doing any good as she was not paying attention to them anymore, but she didn’t give them change to chat, she wanted to avoid any kind of conversations related to her marriage. She thought about how could she avoid JP living in the same house, if he now whenever they are together he always tries to approach her, imagine when they live together. Now she had to live in a constant stress trying to control her and avoid any close contact with him.
How am I going to do that now that we are forced to live together?
Somehow she didn’t doubted that JP’s ex-girlfriend could have something to do with the judge decision, she could somehow convince the court, the judge who knows who to do such move. After what happened lately she didn’t doubt anything coming from this mysterious woman who had such power everywhere. And she felt so small whenever she thinks about her. Finally at home, tired to come loaded with purchases to leave her sons, she arranged groceries delivery at home, organized money for them, medicines, bills to pay, packed her things and waited for her sons to give them a kiss and went to JP’s home. Before leaving home, she sends a message saying to JP she is ready to go, he confirms that he is already at home.
On the way to JP’s home Carolina tries to puts her ideas in order, but with JP constantly in her mind is impossible. She had tried at all cost to avoid him, and now she is getting in the lair of the wolf. As soon as the taxi arrives ahead at JP's house, he is already waiting for her looking anxious, he smiled at Carolina when he sees her and helps her to take the luggage to her room. As he promised her, he did it providing a bedroom only for her. The bedroom was much smaller than JP’s bedroom, but still had enough space to have a huge wardrobe wall, a double bed, bedside tables, a small chair and a dresser. It was more than enough for the six months stay and Carolina didn’t intend to be picky or demanding, she did what had to be done to solve all that confusion and in the end to help him, anyway it was not their fault, but now it is their problem to solve. She began to unpack hoping the clothes had not been too much wrinkled, arranging the wardrobe as she was taking off her clothes from the suitcases.
After about one hour, JP appeared in the room asking if she had dined, she replies that had dinner with the boys, so he says he will go out to eat something and gives her a key to come in and out whenever she wants, he also gives her the code of the internet and the code for the house alarm. Until now she hadn’t realized that the house had an alarm. Carolina doesn’t feel the urge to go to the living room to watch some television but instead she decides to take a shower, put her pyjamas on and stays in the bedroom to read one of the books she had brought. After a while she feels tired and falls asleep.
When she woke up in the morning, she tried to get up but couldn’t with the usual ease, took a few seconds to realize what was happening. JP was lying on her bed over the duvet, dressed, leaning his arm over her. He smelled of alcohol. The truth is that Carolina didn’t know anything about him, didn’t know exactly what he was doing, didn’t know who his friends were, didn’t know what were his daily habits, she knew nothing about his real life. Until then she had never been concerned with it, but as they had to live together now, it would be good to find out if he had a drinking problem or if that night had been just one night without example.
After thinking for a little bit, thought he shouldn’t have an alcohol problem, because if he had, when they were on the island he would be drunk on a daily basis, but whenever they were drinking together he never exceeded 2 glasses.
She got up slowly not to wake him up, took the clothes to the bathroom, showered, dressed and left for work, on the way she took breakfast, the first days or weeks of adaptation would be difficult for both, she knew it. She even went to the kitchen in the morning to see what was there, she didn’t know if he had the habit of taking breakfast at home or not. There were so many new things at once. She didn’t know if it was the stress of having to move in with him, but she felt her stomach grappling. The working day passed without any major incident and it was time to return home. Just in case Carolina passed in the supermarket to buy something to make for dinner.
When she arrived at her new home, JP wasn’t there and she didn’t know anything about him. Carolina didn’t want to be meddling in his life and he didn’t call or sent any message, she didn’t know whether to make dinner for him as well or not. She decides to make dinner for two, ending up eating alone and leaves a dish prepared in the fridge just in case his wish to dine later. Deciding after inspecting closer the kitchen, she found out it was an excellent kitchen it had everything and all brand new, if that kitchen was hers she would do great snacks and cakes if this kitchen was her, but it’s not. She will be here only temporary so she will use the kitchen only for the necessary.
As it is still early, she went to her apartment and meets the boys just to check on them and give them a kiss.
When Carolina arrives home, about 10 minutes after the door bell buzzed someone was at the door, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do, after all it was for JP for sure and he was not there. She decides to go down and let the person know that. When she was going down the stairs she sees a too skinny boned girl, with too short dress, with blond long hair, fake eye lashes and nails, blue eyes, she looked like young model looking like a Barbie doll. Carolina decides to open the door.
“Hi, can I help you?”
“I need to talk with JP, is he in?!”
“No, he isn’t. Would you like to leave a message?”
“Please let him know that I was here. No. No. I’ll go in and wait for him inside, I need to talk to him, he is been ignoring my calls and messages and I need to talk with him”
“What? I’m sorry, but you can’t come inside because he isn’t here”
“Why not?!”
Carolina rolled her eyes, already tired of the fake Barbie doll.
“Look you can’t because he is not in and I can’t let anyone in without his authorization”
She said hoping the Barbie doll would give up.
“What are you saying? Do you know who I am?!”
Carolina couldn’t stand her anymore and said:
“Why? Did you forget who you are?!”
“I’m his girlfriend! Look here cleaning lady let me in okay I’ll give you £50 if you let me in and wait for him inside”
“Does he know that you are hopping around announcing that you are his girlfriend?!”
“Well we had dinner with friends a few weeks ago and I assumed he was interested to see me again, he said he would call me, but he never did, every man would die to date me!”
Carolina understood her perfectly, she had been there before and she knew the way JP acted with women but she couldn’t feel sorry for this girl or angry.
“Well I have some news for you and if he was really interested in you, I’m sure he would have contacted you by now. Goodbye”
Upset and in real disbelieve she closes the door in the Barbie dolls nose, still while the Barbie doll tries to assimilate Carolina’s last sentence and trying to discuss the subject further, Carolina didn’t allowed her to continue.
How is it possible that he dates women like that? And worse he allows them to come at his house at anytime? That was outrageous.
Carolina was already in bed reading, or at least trying too and was about to switch the lights off when JP arrives. He knocks on the door, she gives permission for him to enter, he asks if everything’s okay, she says yes and says he has dinner in the fridge if he is hungry. She told him about the Barbie doll episode, at first he was very serious and when she finished he came to her and give her a goodnight kiss, assuring her that now that he was a married man he wouldn’t look to those type of woman anymore. She didn’t need to worry about them anymore. She looks at him suspiciously, but he didn’t give anything up. JP says he has dined already, had a tiring day and goes up to his room to sleep. Bows out, closes the door behind him and walks away.
Bizarre
Carolina thinks,
not a word if he can spend the night here, not a sexual joke, nor an attempt to have sex. What is wrong with him? Maybe he found someone new to play with and isn’t interested anymore.
Perhaps he found a new bunny to play with.
Better yet, he will leave me alone and it will make my life easier
.
Thought Carolina, trying to convince herself that this way was much better, turning off the light and went to sleep. During the night she wakes up, feeling him slipping into the bed with her, she pretends to be asleep, he raises a bit of Duvet, enters the bed and reaches up toward her, put his arm over her, and stays like that, he doesn’t move, he doesn’t try anything.
But what is happening now?!
She wonders. It costs her to fall asleep again because she does not know what to think.
Why does he will lie with me and falls asleep hugged to me? Now he doesn’t try to have sex anymore, what could it possibly be happening?
He falls asleep moments after he puts his arms over her, she feels his breathing enter in a new state, but she can’t fall asleep at all, during the night she hear him mumbling something and tries to understand what he is saying:
“...I do...I love you...only you my love...love me too...please forget...divorce...I...love...you...Carolina”
Carolina couldn’t believe what she was hearing, he was dreaming with her! He was dreaming with her and was saying that he was in love for her! She couldn’t believe it!
Hope was renewed in Carolina’s mind, and she could only fall asleep it was already morning when she wakes up he is still holding her. Rather than sneak out again as she had done the day before, she turns slowly to him to admire him while he stills asleep. A handsome man, he is so perfect with all he’s imperfections to her eyes, she can’t resist and touches his cheek, stroking gently his three days beard, thinking:
You said you loved me while you sleep, you made me so happy
.
He wakes up without moving, open his eyes looking at her smiling.
"Good morning my dear"
"Good morning to you too, why are here in my bed?"
He tells her that he couldn’t sleep in his bed, but when he comes down to her bedroom and lies next to her, just lying down beside her he falls asleep immediately. She smiled at him enjoying and teasing him replied:
"So now I'm also sleeping a pill to you?! I have to get up to go to work."
He smiled at her and says:
"You know, if we were married for real, you didn’t have to work anymore, I earn more than enough for us."
"Yeah, but it's not. And even if it was real, I like to work and earn my money"
She said without wanting to continue the conversation that was having a course that could lead to a discussion that she was determined not to have. Leaving the bedroom to prepare for work, she went to the kitchen took quickly breakfast when she returned to her bedroom, he was gone. She spent all morning indisposed again, but didn’t care much, thought she could be because of the stress and all the changes that was happening in her life. The weekend was near, Carolina was willing to go to her house to see how things were going on with her sons, she missed them already very much although they talk every day, it was not easy to leave them just by themselves, she knew they are young adults but they will be always her children and she can’t help it to protect and help them the best way she can. She loved to talk to them and she felt the need to catch up. She had planned to spend the weekend with them, Saturday she will fix up the apartment for the week, leaving food ready for the boys when they returned from the university, although they knew how to cook and taking care of them and if they hadn’t time or weren’t in the mood to cook they could always order in.
She knows that the maid goes there every day in the morning to keep the house in order, but she liked to put things in her own way. Carolina knew she didn’t need to, but the mother instinct spoke louder and she wanted to see with her own eyes that everything was under control. Bottom line she needed to be away from JP for a while and be with her mind occupied. Saturday night, when Carolina was preparing for dinner with the boys, she receives a message from JP asking: