The Deal with Love (One on One) (14 page)

She glanced his way. Was she trying to send him a message?

After the panel ended, he hung back while she and the other panelists talked to the students one-on-one. Finally, the room began to empty, the kids having to catch the school bus or meet their parents waiting for them outside. He thanked the other participants and sent them on their way, even Kevin, who lingered to talk to Elise.

Elise looked around to make sure they were alone before walking up to him. She offered up that smile of hers that punched him in the gut every time. “Surprised to see me? Actually, don’t answer that. I saw the look on your face when I walked in.”

“Definitely surprised, but I’m more happy,” he said. “I’m sorry for being a jackass.”

She caressed his cheek. “I know. It’s on your face.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and tucked her close. His shoulders relaxed when she didn’t pull away. “What happened? Did your meeting get canceled?”

She shook her head. “No. I couldn’t concentrate at work all morning. It finally dawned on me that postponing a meeting by a couple of hours wasn’t going to change anything. If Drew couldn’t agree to that, especially after asking to talk at the last minute, then I didn’t want to do business with him anyway. This was important to you. I’m sorry I lost sight of that. I wanted to be here. I definitely made the right decision. I enjoyed myself. The kids asked some really great questions that made me think.”

She was making him think. About what he wanted out of life. About if he could possibly give her up. But he had to. It’s what they both wanted. Right?

…

Later that night, they lounged in his bed.

“What am I going to do about Drew?” Elise asked, a question that been running through her head for the past few hours. Christian had filmed her Skype meeting with the basketball player. “I expected him to ask more basketball questions, but we just chatted. I think he was trying to get a better understanding of the team culture.”

Christian nodded. “Yeah, that’s the sense I got, too. He’s always been a smart guy. Thoughtful, underneath all the flash.”

“Yeah, that’s the conclusion I’m coming to. The flash is a result of a lot of careful consideration. It’s part of his brand. Everything he does is.”

“Which is driving you crazy.”

Elise threw her hands up in the air. “Yes! He’s still reluctant to sign. There’s a reason why. If I can figure it out before another team does, we’ll be golden.” She took a bite of the apple pie Christian’s sister had made for him. She moaned her appreciation of the perfect blend of cinnamon and apples. “I think I might have to marry your sister. Does she spoil you like this all the time?”

He had the grace to look embarrassed. “She loves me. What can I say?”

“Absolutely nothing, if this pie is anything to go by. Let her spoil you as long as I get my share.” She stuffed another piece into her mouth.

He sighed and leaned back against his pillow. “Actually, she made it because she was feeling guilty, and Brady told her he was getting fat and couldn’t eat all the desserts she bakes during her stressed periods. Since I’m the one making her feel guilty, the food went to me.”

“That’s what I like to hear from my players. Stay on the healthy straight and narrow. What is she feeling guilty about?”

He rolled his eyes. “Bringing Mack into our lives. She’s stressed that I’m still giving him the cold shoulder, and there’s nothing she can do about it.”

“Aww, I see.” Curious to see what else he had to say about the matter, she held her tongue.

Christian stuffed a piece of pie into his mouth and chewed slowly, lost in his thoughts. “He asked to be part of my documentary at your dad’s place the night Drew was in town.”

Her eyes rounded. “He did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shot her a look. “I was a little distracted that night.”

Oh. Right. “What did you say?”

“I told him yes. I don’t know what I was thinking—the other reason I’m just now mentioning it.”

She spoke hesitantly. “Maybe that you want to take this chance to get to know him.”

“I’m nervous. Which is crazy. I never get nervous doing interviews.”

She reached for his hand, intertwined their fingers, and squeezed. “It’s understandable.”

He looked at her, uncertainty swirling in the depths of his rich eyes. “How so?”

“Because you’re going to get answers to the questions you’ve always wanted the answers to.”

He shook his head and let out a chuckle free of humor. “That was always Caitlin growing up. She wanted to know who he was and where he was. I was never interested.” He shrugged. “I guess I was lying to myself.”

“That’s okay. We all have different coping mechanisms, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong. You weren’t ready then. Maybe you are now.”

He shrugged again. “Maybe. I’m not sure if I can let him into my life. I’ll never be able to forget the past.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s not a decision you have to make right now. See how it goes and how you’re feeling afterward. Mack will understand. Do you want me to be there?”

He hesitated, then shook his head. “No, this is something I need to do by myself. Figure out on my own.” He smiled briefly. “Besides, I don’t want you there if things get ugly.”

She side-eyed him. “Christian.”

The expression on his face lightened. “Just kidding. My mother would kill me. She’s five feet of scary. I don’t want to cross her.”

She laughed. “Tell me about her.”

“My mom’s the best. She always made sure we were taken care of. She was always there when we needed her.”

Elise set aside her plate, no longer in the mood to eat. “My mom was pretty great, too.”

He squeezed her knee. “Tell me.”

“When I was little, I used to think she was the prettiest lady I’d ever seen. My dad says I’m her spitting image.”

“If you do, she must have been beautiful.”

Her lips split into a small smile. “Thank you. She always said I was her partner in crime. Even when she got sick, she was always worried about me and making sure I was taken care of. When she died, I was so angry. I got into fights at school. Any little thing could provoke me. I never knew when it would. I fought, until I realized I was hurting my dad. After that, it was easier to channel my energy into concentrating on school, then work. School and work couldn’t be taken away from me. They wouldn’t die.”

“What about your dad?”

“He took it hard, but he was there for me always. We’ve been all we had for so long.” She sighed. “I wish we could go back to those times.”

He studied her. “What happened?”

“After we traded for Brady, my predecessor started talking about retirement. I went to my father and told him I wanted the job if Jim did retire. My dad refused to discuss it.”

“What did you do?”

She’d come this far. Revealing far more to Christian than she ever had to anyone else. She couldn’t stop now, especially considering how open Christian had been with her. Elise swallowed and said, “I, umm, decided to hit on Brady because while my dad wouldn’t discuss the GM job, he had no problem telling me to stay away from Brady, who had a reputation for being a ladies’ man—at least before meeting your sister.”

Silence greeted her confession. She bit her lip, waiting for his reaction.

“Oh,” Christian said slowly. “So that’s what happened.”

“Yeah.” At least he hadn’t sounded mad. She scrubbed her face with her hand. “I wanted my dad to see me as an adult, but I did something incredibly childish instead. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Brady wasn’t attracted to me, and I wasn’t attracted to him, and the whole thing was horrible and dumb.”

He touched her knee. “Hey, you don’t have to convince me. I believe you. I’m glad you told me.”

Elise’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Thanks for being understanding. So yeah, even though my dad gave me the job, our relationship still hasn’t gone back to normal. He’s trying to run my life, and it frustrates me to the nth degree.”

“I’m sorry.”

The sympathy and understanding in his voice was too much for her to take. Crying was not an option. She’d already spilled her guts, something she never did. “Thanks, but can we talk about something else now?”

“Sure.” Christian tipped her chin up with a finger and peered into her eyes. “But know that although things are strained right now with your father, you have me.”

“For now,” she added quickly, even as her heart threatened to melt. She couldn’t rely on him for the long-term. She had to remind herself of that. She couldn’t open herself to that kind of potential pain.

“Right.” He studied her for a few seconds, then drew her into his arms. She went willingly. As always, the kiss consumed her and offered the distraction she knew Christian welcomed as much as she did. As much as the heat burned between them, their differences were very real and would have to be acknowledged. But not tonight.

Chapter Fourteen

Two days later, Elise stepped into her office. She stiffened when two hands landed on her shoulders. “What are you doing?”

Christian sank his fingers into her flesh. “You looked a little tense.”

“I take it you’re here to help?”

“Of course. I’m a selfless individual.”

She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. “Shouldn’t you be behind a camera?”

“You went to the bathroom. I put it down.”

“Then took advantage of your free hands as soon as I returned.”

“Yes. You love it.”

She did. Moaning loudly in her office didn’t qualify as professional behavior, but she was very close to forgetting that, especially when he nuzzled the side of her neck. She shivered.

“I’ve been thinking.”

She tilted her head to give him better access. “About what?”

“Why don’t we get away? I’ll probably need it after I interview Mack.”

“Which you’ll be great at, by the way.”

“Thanks. What do you think?”

Tension crept into her muscles. “A getaway sounds great, but…”

He deepened his ministrations. “Relax. I know you can’t leave for a whole weekend, but what about one night to celebrate the end of filming? We can rent a room at the Four Seasons, get massages, and relax.”

“I’m in. I even promise to only check my phone every other hour.”

He grinned. “Deal.” He turned her to face him. “You know you were gone for a long time.”

She squinted. “Three minutes.”

“Yeah, like I said. A long time. Gave me time to think.”

Elise lifted an eyebrow. “About something else other than going away for a night?”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her close. “Yep. Friday is a few days away, but tonight will come in a few short hours.”

“It will,” she said, amused.

“We should go to my place.” He punctuated each word with a gentle kiss.

She struggled to concentrate on his words and not on how much she wanted him to deepen his kiss. “Yeah? What will we do at your place?”

“I have a few ideas.”

“Like what?”

“Well—”

A burst of laughter drowned out his response and cut through her languor. Her father. He was right outside her door. She pushed Christian away and scurried to her desk. She’d just taken a seat when her father opened the door.

“Hi, Dad. What’s up?” She only sounded a bit breathless. She ignored the look of disbelief Christian sent her way.

Her father looked back and forth between them before answering. “Hi, honey. How are you, Christian? How’s the filming going?”

“I’m great, and so is filming,” Christian said. “We were just taking a break. How are you?”

Her father smiled. “As good as can be expected. I’m happy that everything seems to be going well between you two.”

Not what Elise wanted to hear. Did he suspect that there was something more going on between her and Christian? She’d worked hard to not give anything away at the office. For her father’s sake and for her own. Her dad would no doubt take credit for their relationship and look at it as a sign that he knew best and that she should always follow his orders.

“Yes, filming is going great,” she said. “I think Christian has a lot of good material to work with.”

Her father clapped his hands together. “Happy to hear it, but that’s not why I came to see you.”

Of course it wasn’t. “What’s up?”

“How are things going with Drew Newsome? Any news on that front?”

She forced a cheerful note into her voice. “Nothing new to report. His agent says he still making up his mind.” Drew had turned off all communication, saying he needed to be one with his thoughts. She didn’t get it, but athletes were a unique bunch, so she was doing her best to respect his wishes, even if she wanted an answer yesterday.

Her father frowned. “Hmm. That doesn’t sound promising. What if we put up big billboards across town telling him we’d love for him to play for us? News like that will hit social media in about two seconds. There’s no way he won’t see the photos and not know how serious we are.”

Patience, patience, patience. “Drew won’t respond to a hard push like that. I’ve explained that to you.”

His frown remained. “Well, I’m not comfortable with this silence. I want Drew Newsome, and I want him now.”

Elise forced her lips upward. Showing her frustration would get her exactly nowhere. “I know, Dad, but you said you’d let me handle this.”

“Yes, but you’re new at being the person in charge. I don’t want your first attempt at a major transaction as a general manager to go wrong.”

The dart of hurt bulls-eyed her chest. He’d always shared his opinions even with the former general manager, but he had let the man do his job. She wished he would offer her the same respect and opportunity.

She gripped her hands together under her desk. “I appreciate your concern, but the only way I’m going to learn is if you let me handle things. I’m doing everything in my power to make sure Drew signs with us.”

Her father turned to Christian. “Try to talk some sense into her. She listens to you.”

“Elise knows her own mind,” Christian said. “She’ll be fine. I’m confident in her abilities.”

Her dad harrumphed. “Well, maybe you could put in another call to Drew. I know you’re the reason he came to visit.”

Elise wanted to rail at her father, but what he’d said was true. Everyone in the room knew it.

Her father left soon afterward. She didn’t stop Christian when he came around the desk and drew her out of the chair for a hug.

“Hey, don’t listen to him,” he said. “You’re doing a great job. Drew would have told you no if he wasn’t seriously considering signing with the Stampede.”

She squeezed him, the comfort he offered so appreciated. “Thanks. Your support means a lot.”

“You’re welcome.” Christian drew away and leaned against the desk, his body language all patience. She didn’t buy it for a second.

“Why did you push me away when you heard your dad coming?”

She’d been bracing for the question. “This is my workplace. Flirting with you stretches the boundaries of what is acceptable even if the door is shut. I didn’t want to go there with my father.”

He crossed his arms, his lips turning down. “Okay.”

Elise pressed her palms together. “Remember why you’re here. Because my father was matchmaking in an attempt to run my life. He was just in here trying to tell me what to do in my professional life. I want him to know that I’m my own woman in business and that I’m making decisions based on what’s right for me and not what he wants.”

“We’re just scratching itches, anyway, so what’s the point, right?”

Her heart rebelled at his characterization of their relationship, a characterization she was responsible for coining. A characterization she couldn’t deny. “Right.”

…

“Thanks for letting me participate in your documentary,” Mack said.

Christian turned from where he’d been busying himself adjusting lights that didn’t need adjusting. He should have taken Elise up on her offer to sit in on the interview, but no, he’d let pride keep him from accepting assistance. Now nerves were breakdancing in his stomach.

He couldn’t exactly say “my pleasure,” so he went with a nod instead. “Are you ready to get started?”

Mack clapped his hands. “Absolutely.”

Optimism dominated his expression. Christian chose to ignore it. He still didn’t know if he wanted a relationship with Mack. All he knew was that anger was very hard to hang on to. The emotion tired him out. But if he wasn’t angry, then what was he? He didn’t know if he had it in him to forgive a man who’d done something so despicable. Mack had shown the true contents of his character thirty years ago.

Maybe today would give Christian some clarity. Like he did with all his subjects, he would demand the truth from Mack.

Mack sat on the stool Christian directed him to. “I’m glad you let me participate.”

Christian moved to the video camera and checked the focus for the millionth time. He studied Mack through the lens. He didn’t want to see the similarities in their features, but the camera made them hard to ignore. Impossible, if he were being brutally honest with himself. The shape of his jaw, his nose—they both came from this man. His father. But being a father didn’t make him a dad.

Mack shifted on the stool. “I know you don’t want anything to do with me. I don’t want to accept that, but I also know I can’t do anything to force you to change your mind.”

From behind the camera, Christian nodded. “You can’t.”

Mack smiled briefly. “You’re stubborn. I admire that.”

Christian felt no need to say thank you. “Why did you ask to do this?”

“You have a sister and a brother, Eva and Thomas, who’d like to get to know you.”

Christian froze. He had a brother and another sister. He’d known that in an intellectual sense, but he’d never let himself think about it too much because they were part of a world he didn’t want to acknowledge. Mack’s world. But they did exist, and none of this was their fault. They were innocent victims in their father’s duplicity. He harbored no ill will toward them for having a father their entire lives. Dads were supposed to be part of their kids’ lives. But he’d never thought that they’d be curious about
him
. “They want to get to know me?”

Mack nodded somberly. “They do.”

Christian narrowed his eyes. “You telling me this isn’t some ploy to get me to spend more time with you, is it?”

“I’ll be honest. I do want to spend more time with you and will take whatever opportunity I can to make that happen, but that’s not what’s going on here. The truth is they’ve come to me and their mother asking about you. They’ve met Caitlin, and they enjoy the relationship they have with her. They would like the opportunity to get to know you as well.” Mack let out a humorless chuckle. “I’m the one they’re mad at. Y’all have that in common.”

“I would like to meet them.” The words came haltingly. But he meant them. His sister and brother, his little sister and brother, weren’t the cause of all of this. He wanted to get to know the people who shared his blood.

Mack beamed. “Great. I’ll let them know.”

Christian averted his gaze away from the joy on Mack’s face. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get started. I’ll ask you questions, and all you need to do is answer them as honestly as possible.”

Mack gave a brisk nod. “Got it.”

Christian moved to sit on the stool next to the camera. He picked up his notes, although he didn’t need them. One of his students, Reggie, would be manning the camera while Christian asked questions. He’d done this a million times. There was no need to be nervous. Except he was. The papers in his hand crumbled. He forced his hand to relax and called Reggie into the room. When the student was in place behind the camera, Christian turned to Mack.

“Please introduce yourself.” His voice came out hesitantly. Damn it. He was never hesitant in interviews. He’d never had reason to be. He was always prepared. Always sure of himself.

Mack cleared his throat. “I’m Mack Jameson, coach, husband, and father.”

“What do you remember about your father?”

The corner of Mack’s mouth lifted in a rueful smile. “Not much. He wasn’t around much. Ever, really. It was just my mother and me.”

Mack had known the pain of growing up without a father and still turned his back on his firstborn kids? Christian’s hand tightened on the paper. Again, he had to order himself to relax. “Did you think about him much growing up?”

Mack shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t let myself. If he didn’t want to be part of my life, then so be it. I had other things to worry about.”

As he said the words Christian had said to himself so often growing up, Christian’s heart clutched. “Did his absence color how you viewed fatherhood?”

An introspective light entered Mack’s eyes. “I never considered it much. Of what I would do if or when I became a father. I was so focused on becoming a pro basketball player.”

“What did you think when you learned you were going to be a father?”

“Each and every time, I was terrified, but that’s normal and to be expected. I mean,
I
was going to be responsible for another human being? A helpless human being at that.” Mack took a breath. “But how I handled my terror the second time couldn’t have been more different from the first time. I let the terror consume me the first time. All I thought about was how having a baby would affect me. I was selfish.”

“And the next time?”

“The terror didn’t last long.” A smile, full of fond remembrance, spread across his face. “It was quickly followed by excitement.”

“Why do you think you handled the news differently the second time?”

Mack’s chest lifted as he took a deep breath. “I’d grown up. I was finally able to admit that I’d made a terrible mistake the first time, but it was too late at that point, I told myself. Guilt does that to you.”

Christian’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

Mack shifted on the stool. “Guilt makes you rationalize anything and believe the unbelievable so you can look yourself in the mirror. You won’t like what you see, but at least you can look.”

Christian nodded. He’d experienced that himself more than once in his previous career when he’d been so consumed with climbing the Hollywood corporate ladder, he’d lost sight of what was important.

“I told myself that it was too late to correct my earlier mistake.”‘ Mack’s head dropped. “I told the mother of my children to have an abortion and never spoke to her again. There was no need to reach out to her because I told myself she’d done what I’d asked her to do. Not doing so was the biggest mistake of my life.”

The anguish on his face, in his voice, was genuine. There was no way Christian could deny that. A small fissure appeared in the ice he’d coated around his heart. He closed his eyes to give himself a moment to regain his composure. “But you got a second chance. Do you enjoy being a father?”

Mack lifted his gaze and looked him in the eye. “Basketball was my life for so long, and I never saw anything wrong with that. I loved playing, and I knew playing was going to make me rich and famous. It was the love of my life until I held my daughter in my arms for the first time. I was never the same after that. To answer your question—yes, I enjoy being a father more than anything I’ve ever done in my life. To see what my children,
all
of my children, have become, how much they’ve accomplished, I couldn’t be prouder of them if I tried.”