The Deception series boxset: FaCade, Cadence, Beneath Innocence (15 page)

Even though I’d only taken one step into the room, I hated how foreign it felt. A bedroom was a place of private time, somewhere that should hold many memories but for me it was an unfamiliar square space filled with strange objects. My eyes wandered over the room, trying to get a grasp on something, anything that felt recognizable.

Walking over to the dressing table, I lifted the lid on a small jewelry box. Many sparkling pieces blinked at me when the light hit them. A ring seized my attention and I slid my little finger into it and lifted it closer. It was a stunning piece, a platinum band holding a large chunk of diamond. My eyes widened and a shiver raced over me.

His hand looped a thread around my ring finger. The tears spilled free when I noticed the other end was looped around his own finger, a platinum band with a huge diamond sat on the end of his. He tilted his hand, making the ring flow free down the thread until it looped onto mine. I choked on a happy sob. “Promise never to leave me, to never love another man. Promise to be my wife, promise to complete us?”

A tear slid free and I lowered myself onto the stool. My reflection looked back at me from the mirror fixed to the table, a masked replica, an unknown image of a woman whose life meant nothing to me.

“Who am I?”

Sliding the ring onto my ring finger, I watched it take a repeat journey of what it had done many months ago, begging for the action to bring on further flashbacks but nothing else came, only a deep-seated need for knowledge. My eyes blinked back at me, my tanned skin and flushed cheeks glowed, my soft pink lips parted allowing life to stream in and out of me but I didn’t feel alive, I felt dead on the inside. My heart ached as my hollow soul begged for warmth and connection. One thing was for certain though, my spirit was still alive, it’s need for me to battle through allowing me to take each step of this new life and keep going. I had no other choice. I didn’t have anything to fall back on; or rather I didn’t know of anything I had to fall back on. Dante was the only thing that linked me to this world. The photographs and his knowledge about me were the only things that could grant me a vision into my past life.

I blew out a determined breath and gave myself a stern nod. “You have no choice, Star. You have to deal with this. Like Malik said, it’ll come, you just have to lean on Dante until it does.” I smiled at the echo of myself looking back at me. “He obviously loves you. He gave you a fantasy he didn’t want to participate in, he put your needs before his own and if that isn’t a sign of love then I don’t know what is.”

My pep talk gave me the courage to stand and scramble through the huge clothes closet until I found some pumps and slid them on. Air would do me the world of good, maybe a walk through the gardens. I wouldn’t trust myself to venture further afield; I couldn’t remember my damn name never mind the layout of the estate where we lived.

I secretly hope I had been a keen gardener. I craved to see flowers and greenery. I wasn’t sure why I needed to see nature but I did so I shrugged and went with it, smiling faintly at something else I had discovered about myself.

I couldn’t move, not that moving would make any difference. My eyes scanned the miles of ocean before me, my heart galloping with the realization that I was completely surrounded by open water. I had walked the entire perimeter around the house to be only greeted with shoreline. How the hell did one get off the island?

Although the crashing waves called to soothe me, they did the exact opposite, bringing terror with each white foamy surge of pure blue water. The vastness of nothing but sea gave me another feeling of confinement, its strangling hold squeezing my insides when I acknowledged the fact that I wasn’t going anywhere.

I knew deep inside that Dante loved me, he was my fiancé for Christ’s sake, but the feeling that I couldn’t have my own space was crippling. I needed time to think, think about what I wanted. But it was as though everything had been decided for me, leaving me no choice but to spend my time with a man I hardly knew. He said I wasn’t a prisoner but I was secluded with no escape. To me, that made me a prisoner. My brain was being rational; I wasn’t giving him the benefit of the doubt or considering that the old me maybe loved it here, but now it was all building inside me, making me panic.

A large black cloud rolled over my head, forecasting an approaching storm. It matched my mood, the thunder inside my head loud and angry, the roll of electricity surging through my veins and constricting the oxygen racing into my organs. How dare he trap me like this? How dare he be the one to choose where I went?

I spun round. Dante watched me from the base of the crooked stone steps that had brought me to the beach. His eyes were narrow but the slight incline to his head alerted me to the fact that he was also furious. Why, I had no idea.

Storming up the sand, my feet slid into the shingle as my angry steps powered me forward; Dante remained still but intrigued when he sensed my temper.

“Where are we?” I demanded, my tone hot and vile. His brow lifted but he just stared at me. “Tell me, Dante. Where the hell are we? And how do I get off this… this mass of nothing?”

His teeth clenched, his jaw hardening but I observed him trying to control his own anger. “You are home.”

“Home? Home? Then why doesn’t it feel like home? Why does it feel like a prison?” I struggled to keep the tears at bay, battling with myself not to show any weakness in front of such a controlling, dominant man. “I don’t want to be here. Please take me onto land. I’ll find a hotel there.”

The corner of his lips twitched, amusement now overtaking his rage. “A hotel?” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back, resting against a stone wall.

“Yes!” I glared at him. “What the hell is your problem?”

I saw the red mist slithering across his face but I didn’t care. I needed some space, time to figure out who I was before I could characterize our relationship.

“My problem,” he sighed as he pushed off the wall and took a step towards me. “Is that you are punishing me for giving you everything you ever wanted.” I blinked at him as hurt and fury ruled him. “What do you want from me, Star? You begged me, pleaded with me to give in to your fantasy, your sordid side. You threatened to leave me, damn it!”

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open, shock rendering me speechless as I watched him finally let free his anger with me. “I…”

“You?” he barked as he stepped into me. “You! It’s always fucking you isn’t it, Star? You’re so selfish. Fuck! I gave up everything for you, even my damn dignity. You forced me to degrade you in front of others. Have you any idea how that made me feel?”

I shook my head, my neck bent backwards as I looked up at him. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He screwed up his face, running his fingers through his hair in agitation. “Christ, Star. I don’t know what to do to help you, to help us anymore. I feel like I’ve lost you. You aren’t mine anymore, you’re… you’re this empty shell, this beautiful fucking woman who has slipped into the sea and drowned, leaving behind an echo of what she was.”

My heart beat frantically. I had no idea he felt that way. I had put my own selfish feelings first, disregarding how he would feel about all this. And if it had really been me that had asked for this… fantasy, then there was no one to blame but myself.

Reaching out with my hand, I slid my fingers through his, linking our palms together. “I’m sorry, Dante. I… I’m being selfish. I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t even remember my emotions. It’s so hard and… and I need you to help me through this.”

I did need him because he was all I had. He was the only memory that had been granted to me, albeit a small flash of memory but it was definitely him, the only thing locking me to myself.

He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, worry tightening his face. “I know, Star.” He leaned down, resting his forehead against mine. “I know you remember nothing about yourself. But believe me, I’m your past.” His soft lips ventured down the bridge of my nose, his warm breath seeping into my skin and warming me inside. “Let me be your future.”

I released my hands from his and brought them to cup his face. “Show me. Make me feel you again.”

He moaned, a choked sound rippling from his chest before he gently pressed his lips to mine. His tender kiss was full of emotion, almost suffocating me as he controlled me and begged me with connection to let him in. Sliding my hands into his thick hair, I grasped at him, pulling him hard against me. My body ignited, roared for him. The heat he fired in me was always unbearable, difficult to breathe through. His strong arms wrapped me up, drawing me closer to him.

“Star,” he breathed as his lips dampened a trail down the edge of my neck, his tongue tasting me as his parted lips led the way. “You’ve always been mine, baby. Always. I’ll never set you free.”

I frowned at his need but forced his face back up so I could kiss him again. My back pressed against the wall when he turned us. He palmed my backside, lifting me until I clamped my legs around his waist and used him for support when my body liquefied in his passion. Taking my hands in one of his, he sandwiched them between our chests. His tongue twisted around mine as desire curled around us. His breaths into my mouth were heavy and heated, matching my own as want took control.

Dante suddenly gasped and pulled away then looked down at our hands. His eyes locked onto the ring adorning my finger. He brushed the tip of his finger over it, his face darkening but his eyes moistening.

“Hey.” He blinked at me, pain enveloping him. “What’s wrong? I thought wearing it would please you.”

He gulped and nodded stiffly. “Yeah it does It… It just shocked me to see you wearing it. You didn’t waste any time, did you?”

I frowned at his sudden anger. “I’m sorry.” I snatched my hand back and yanked at the band, pulling it from my finger. “I’m sorry.” He stared at me as I flung it at him. “I can’t figure you out.”

What the hell had I done wrong now? Everything was so confusing. Trying to please him always had the opposite effect and I was tired of trying.

I ran up the steps towards the house, refusing to look back to see if he was following. Fuck him and his crazy moods.

I squealed when I was suddenly lifted high, my body jolting when I was slung over Dante’s shoulder. “Calm your shit, Belle. You need to learn to control that damn temper of yours. You’ve been too spoilt.”

“What?” I scoffed as I pushed against his back, trying to force myself free from him.

“Don’t fight with me, Star. You won’t like who wins the battle.”

Amazement rendered me frozen. What the hell? I couldn’t keep up with him. “Let me go, Dante!”

“Not until you learn a lesson from your behavior.”

“What?” I sounded like a stuck record, repeating the same word over and over but my shocked brain couldn’t figure out what else it wanted to say.

“It’s time to find out who rules this relationship,
Belle
. I don’t put up with hissy fits from you!” His tone was derisive and mocking, making my stomach churn.

“What do you mean?” I struggled in his hold, striving to escape but it was impossible, he was too powerful.

He stormed through the house, his fury at me eating up the atmosphere around us. I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong, apart from wearing our engagement ring, then slinging it back at him when he took offence to me wearing it.

“Dante, please. You’re scaring me.”

He chuckled. “Good, maybe the old you is in there after all.”

What the hell did that mean? Why would the old me have been scared of him?

A chill slithered over me at the tone in his voice. He’d morphed into someone else on our journey through the house. He was relentless in his pursuit to get to where he wanted, his steps never slowing or faltering.

We marched through new corridors I hadn’t seen before, slipping through numerous doors, descending several steps and floors until we came out into a long hallway, stone brickwork the only décor on the walls. A coolness seeped into us, heightening my fear and amplifying Dante’s rage.

“Dante. I’m scared.” He ignored me. Tears burned the back of my eyes as I struggled harder in his grasp. “Let me go, Dante!”

He kicked out at a heavy wooden door; however, it didn’t move but when he stabbed at a keypad beside the door, I realized he had kicked it in temper, not to open it. He stalked forward through the now open doorway, his actions furious and controlled, terrifying and disturbing.

He pulled me away from his body, placing my feet on the floor before spinning me round so I could view the room we had ended our journey in.

My knees buckled. My breath left my body in a single forceful rush. My skin prickled, each tiny hair rising in horror as my heart threatened to hammer out of my chest.

Hell greeted me. Emptiness apart from what looked like a table against the back wall, stone walls and nothing in between. A cell. Oh God, another cell. He was going to lock me up!

I raced for the door but he grabbed my arm, stopping my departure. “Calm down.”

I was shaking all over. “Please don’t leave me in here.”