The Decision (40 page)

“You don’t have to do that.” Sara shook her head. “Why don’t you and Mark go back to the living room, and I’ll do the dishes?”

“I wouldn’t hear of it,” Jonah said. “You worked hard fixing this meal, and the least I can do is help with the dishes.”

“Okay, if you insist. I’ll wash, and you can dry.”

Sara took Mark out of his high chair, and he followed them into the kitchen. While they did the dishes, Mark sat on a throw rug nearby, playing with his wooden horse. Every once in a while, the child would call out, “Onah!”

Jonah smiled and hollered in reply, “Mark!”

“He sure has taken a liking to you,” Sara said, placing a few clean plates into the dish drainer for Jonah to dry.

“The feeling’s mutual.” Jonah smiled. “I’m hoping we can enjoy a lot more times like this. Maybe during the holidays, if we get some good snow on the ground, I’ll get out my sleigh and take you and Mark for a ride. Does that sound like fun to you, Sara?”

She lifted her hand from the soapy water and opened her mouth as if to comment, but then, almost as though she was moving in slow motion, she closed her mouth and began scrubbing the roasting pan.

“Sara, what’s wrong? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” Jonah questioned.

She drew in a quick breath. “It’s not that. It’s just that…well, Mark and I won’t be here for the holidays.”

“Oh, I see. Are you planning to go home to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with your family?”

Sara nodded but avoided making eye contact with him. “The truth is, Mark and I will be moving to Indiana permanently—as soon as I can find a buyer for my house.”

Jonah’s mouth dropped open. “Really? I had no idea you were planning to move. Do you mind if I ask what caused you to make that decision?” Jonah felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach by an unruly horse. He would miss Sara, and the idea of never seeing little Mark again was the worst part of all.

“Why would you do that, Sara?” he asked again. “I thought you liked living here in Illinois.”

Still refusing to meet his gaze, she said in a shaky voice, “I—I’m not well, Jonah. I recently found out that I have MS.”

Jonah silently let what she’d said sink into his brain, while searching for the right words in response. Once he’d collected his thoughts, he looked at her and said, “I’m sorry to hear that, Sara. I didn’t have an inkling that you were ill.”

“Neither did I.” Sara continued to scrub at the pan. “Well, I knew there might be something wrong because at certain times I’ve had some strange symptoms. Although some days I feel perfectly fine, at other times I’m dizzy, exhausted, or my arms and legs tingle and won’t work as they should.” She paused and looked down at her son. “If my disease progresses, I may not be able to take care of myself as I should, much less do everything I need to for Mark. So moving home with my parents is the only logical solution.”

“I see.” Jonah dried a few more dishes as he mulled things over. “You know, you really wouldn’t have to move if you didn’t want to, Sara.”

“Jah, I do. Didn’t you hear what I just said about the possibility of me not being able to take care of myself and Mark?”

He gave a slow nod. “I heard, and I understand why you feel the need to move, but…” Jonah swiped his tongue over his lips and swallowed a couple of times. “You could marry me and stay right here.”

Sara’s eyes widened. “Oh, Jonah, it’s nice of you to make such an offer, but I know you’re not in love with me, and—”

Jonah touched his fingers gently to her lips. “I care for you and Mark, and I wouldn’t have suggested that you marry me if I didn’t mean it, Sara. Will you at least consider becoming my wife?”

Sara’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t think something like this should be entered into lightly, Jonah. Why don’t we both take some time to think and pray about the matter?”

“All right, then how about this: for the next seven days, you can pray about the matter, and then a week from today I’ll come back here, and you can give me your answer. How’s that sound?”

“I—I suppose that would be okay, but you need to be praying about it, too.”

“Jah, I sure will.” Jonah glanced down at Mark, and a lump formed in his throat.
But I’ve already made up my mind
.

A
s Elaine sat in church next to Grandma the following Sunday, she was pleased to see that Grandma was singing along with everyone else. Many times during the last month, Grandma had sat through church with a blank expression. Today was obviously a good day for her, and for that Elaine felt relief. To add to her joy, just a few minutes ago, Grandma had looked over at her and smiled sweetly. It was the kind of smile Elaine remembered from her childhood, when Grandma would give Elaine a quick nod and a pleasant smile, letting her know that she was loved.

She knew Grandma still loved her, but there were days, such as yesterday, when Grandma’s frustration with not being able to remember something had caused her to be irritable and out of sorts.

When Grandma got up this morning, she’d put her everyday dress on over her Sunday dress and come into the kitchen saying she was ready for church. Elaine had thought this would turn out to be a difficult day, but to her surprise, Grandma had agreeably taken off her regular dress when Elaine asked her to. She’d also helped do the breakfast dishes and waited patiently in the buggy while Elaine brought her horse out of the barn. On the trip to church, Grandma had actually carried on a fairly normal conversation with Elaine, although she had mentioned Grandpa a few times, referring to him as though he were still alive. Grandma hadn’t mentioned Millie needing to fly again, but Elaine often saw her holding and talking to the rock parakeet. Apparently, Grandma truly believed that the rock was Millie. Well, if it made Grandma happy to believe that, then Elaine wouldn’t tell her otherwise. It was easier just to let Grandma think whatever she wanted in that regard.

I’m thankful for the good days
, Elaine thought, returning Grandma’s smile.
And as for the not-so-good days, I’ll just keep asking God for more patience
.

Pulling her gaze away from Grandma, Elaine glanced at the men’s side of the room and caught sight of Jonah. He sat straight and tall on his bench, looking attentively at their song leader. Unexpectedly, he glanced Elaine’s way, and she quickly averted his gaze, fearful that her true feelings for him might show.

Always on her guard whenever Jonah was around, Elaine had to make sure he never found out that she hadn’t stopped loving him.

Jonah didn’t know who he was the most worried about this morning—Sara, who hadn’t come to church with Mark, or Elaine, who appeared to be tired and strained. He planned to head over to Sara’s house to check on her as soon as church was over, even skipping the noon meal, but he didn’t know what he could do about Elaine’s situation, for she’d made it clear that she didn’t want his help or attention. Still, he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of wanting to protect Elaine.

Even yet, Jonah had a hard time accepting the fact that Elaine had never loved him, but if she’d told one of her best friends that, it must be true. Elaine’s decision was one of the reasons he’d begun courting Sara—that and his connection with Sara’s son. Then three nights ago when he’d learned of Sara’s illness, Jonah knew what he had to do. By marrying Sara, he’d not only gain a wife, but he’d have the son he’d always wanted.
Sara needs a husband
, Jonah reminded himself.
And if she says yes to my proposal, I’m going to be the best husband and father I can possibly be
.

As soon as church was over, Jonah headed straight for his horse and buggy.

“Where are ya going?” Jean’s husband, Nathan, called.

“Over to Sara Stutzman’s to see why she wasn’t in church today,” Jonah said after Nathan caught up to him.

“Aren’t you gonna stay long enough to eat?” Nathan questioned.

Jonah shook his head. “I had a big breakfast this morning, and I’m not all that hungry right now.”

Nathan eyed Jonah curiously. “According to Jean, you’ve been seeing a lot of Sara lately.”

Jonah nodded.

“Maybe it’s none of my business, but are you two getting serious about each other?”

Jonah felt like telling Nathan that he was right, it was none of his business, but that would be rude. So he gave a simple one-word reply: “Jah.”

Nathan blinked rapidly. “Wow, that was sure quick.”

“What? My reply, or the fact that I haven’t been courting Sara very long?”

“Both.” Nathan drew his fingers through the ends of his beard. “You’re not thinking of marrying her already, I hope.”

Jonah’s jaw clenched. He didn’t like the way his brother-in-law was giving him the third degree. “Would there be anything wrong with it if I was?”

Nathan shrugged. “Well, no, I guess not, but as you said, you haven’t been courting her very long.”

“That’s true, but when a man knows what he wants, why should he have to wait?” Jonah grabbed Sassy’s rope and led the horse over to his buggy.

Nathan followed. “When are you planning to ask her to marry you?”

“I already have. Just waitin’ for Sara’s answer.” Jonah saw no purpose at this point in telling Nathan about Sara’s MS. He figured Nathan might already know, since his wife was Sara’s best friend. But if that was the case, why hadn’t he mentioned it?

Nathan placed his hand on Jonah’s arm. “Uh, listen, before you go, there’s one thing more I’d like to say.”

“What’s that?”

“If you decide to marry Sara, you’ll have Jean’s and my blessing, but I think you oughta give it a little more time—maybe wait till spring to get married.”

Jonah rolled his shoulders, trying to release some of the tension he felt. “I appreciate your advice, but Sara hasn’t said yes yet, and if she does, then I doubt we’ll wait till spring.” With that, Jonah finished hitching his horse, said good-bye to Nathan, and climbed into the buggy. As he rode away, he pondered Nathan’s words. Had he reacted too soon where Sara was concerned? Should he have thought it through a bit more before asking her to marry him? Well, it was too late for that. He wouldn’t feel right about un-asking her now, and if she said yes to his proposal, then he would take that as a sign from God that he’d done the right thing. And if she said no, he would let her move back to Indiana with his blessing.

Curling up on one end of the sofa, with her sleeping son on the other end, Sara yawned and closed her eyes. In addition to the fact that she felt more tired than usual today, Mark’s cold seemed to have gotten worse than it had been earlier in the week. So Sara decided it would be best for them to stay home from church and rest. Since the doctor had said she needed plenty of rest, she felt her decision was justified.

As Sara lay there, covered with the quilt she was sharing with Mark, she thought about Jonah and his marriage proposal. There was no doubt that he’d make a good husband and father, but was she ready to marry again and start a new life with another man? Did she care enough for Jonah to become his wife? Would it be fair for him to be faced with the challenges of her illness?

I need to make a decision soon
, she told herself.
Jonah will be coming by in a few days, and he’ll expect an answer
.