“I’ll never forget you,” I said, and walked out the door.
I didn’t get out of bed for four days.
I convinced my dad and Miss Akin that I had the flu, but I think Miss A had guessed the truth. She had asked a few times about Ian, but I cried at the mention of his name.
And she would in turn bring me cookies and tell me everything would be okay.
But it wasn’t okay and wouldn’t be okay, because I had lost the man I loved and I would never see him again.
Despite what he said.
I missed Ian with a passion, and selfishly wished I had kept him here, even if it meant putting up with Laria for all eternity. Yes, I was happy I had helped him. Yes, I was happy he was with his family and no longer tormented by Laria, but none of that would change the fact I had lost my best friend.
Someone knocked on my door. I thought about pretending to be asleep, but decided
against it. Given my luck, my dad would call the doctor, or a psychiatrist, if I kept ignoring everyone.
“Come in,” I said, sitting up against the headboard, hoping I didn’t look as horrible as I felt.
It was Shane. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “How you doing?”
“I’m alright,” I said, glad to see him looking better than ever.
He glanced at the closed drapes. “It’s nice outside. You want to take a walk or something?”
I hid a smile. My little brother was worried about me. Though I didn’t feel like going anywhere, I had a feeling he’d drag me kick-ing and screaming from my bed if I refused.
“Sure, but let me take a shower first. It’s been a few days.”
“Please do,” he said laughing and looking relieved. “I’ll be downstairs when you’re
ready. How about if I ask Miss A to make you a grilled cheese?”
Grilled cheese was one of my favorite comfort foods. “I’d like that. Thanks.”
He was halfway out the door when I asked, “Have you had anymore of those creepy dreams?”
He shook his head. “No, thank God.”
Relieved to hear it, I smiled. “Good.”
“I’ll see you downstairs,” he said, a wide smile on his face.
I took a quick shower, and dried off my body and hair with a towel. I slid on the terry-cloth robe and brushed out my hair. I had to admit I felt better already.
I opened the bathroom door and stopped in my tracks. The brush slipped from my fingers, clattering onto the wood floor.
My mother stood in front of me, barely visible, a bright light outlining her form. She was dressed in a beautiful cream-colored gown.
I took a quick step back.
Was it really my mom, or had the curse failed?
“Do not be afraid, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.
It had been so long since I’d heard that endearment.
I shifted on my feet. “Are…are you really my mom?”
She smiled softly. “Yes, Riley, I’m your mom.”
“How come you didn’t visit me before now?” I could hear the accusation in my voice.
“I crossed over right away. Time there isn’t the same as it is here.”
I remembered Ian telling me something similar.
“There is so much to do on the other side.
So much to learn. You can’t possibly imagine how beautiful it is.” She smiled softly.
“I wish I could see it for myself.”
“You will one day, but until then, you have much to do with your life.”
“I thought you blamed me for the wreck,”
I blurted before I lost my nerve. “I thought that’s why you didn’t come to visit me.”
She shook her head. “My death was not your fault, Riley. It was no one’s fault. It was just my time to go. You have to let go of the guilt you’ve been carrying around and focus on the gifts you now have. You were meant to see lost souls for a reason, and you’ve already helped an earthbound spirit cross over. I’m so proud of you.”
She knew about Ian?
“Your gift can help so many, and you can learn to control it. Do not fear your abilities.”
“I don’t know how to control it though.”
“Continue to read and talk to others who have similar gifts…like your friend, Anne Marie, and Miss Akin too. Use them as ment-ors to help you. Reach out to others. Soon
you will be able to turn your gift on and off like a light switch.”
She began to flicker, and I could feel her energy waning.
“I must go now, sweetheart, but I’ll be here whenever you need me. Just say my name and think of me. You might not be able to see me in my physical form, but I’ll be here regardless. You’ll feel me. Don’t ever doubt that.” She hugged me tight and I hugged her back, tears streaming down my cheeks with the emotions that raged within me.
I never wanted to let go.
“There is someone else who wants to see you.” She turned, looked to her left.
My heart pounded loud in my ears.
I stepped into my bedroom and followed her gaze to find Ian. He was a dimly-lit figure just like my mom, surrounded by a bright light, but I could still make out his handsome features.
I had to fight to catch my breath.
“I love you, Riley,” my mom said, fading fast.
“I love you, too, Mom.”
As my mom faded, Ian grew brighter and the light in my room flickered.
My insides twisted as I looked into his brilliant blue eyes.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” I said feeling breathless, taking the steps that sep-arated us.
His lips curved into the unforgettable smile I saw in my dreams each night.
“I miss you,” I said, before I could stop myself.
“I miss you, too.”
He looked amazing. As beautiful as ever…and at peace. “What’s it like? Are you happy?”
“It is incredible, Riley. You will not believe how beautiful the other side is or all the love. I cannot put it into words.”
“I wish I could see it.”
“You will…one day, when it is your time.”
“I wish it was my time now.” I seriously meant it. I’d go with him in a heartbeat.
“You have a long life to live, and so much to look forward to. As your mom mentioned, you have a gift, and you must use it, just as you used it to help me.” He reached out, touched my face. “Plus, all you have to do is think of me and I’ll be here.”
“Then you’ll be here all the time.” I’d never leave my room. I’d want to be with him forever.
He laughed and my heart lurched at the sound. God, I missed that laugh.
“I love you,” I said before he disappeared.
He grinned—all deep dimples and white teeth. “I love you, too.”
My stomach coiled as he started to fade fast. “Please don’t go!”
“I’ll be right here, Riley.”
“How will I know you’re here if I can’t see you?”
“I’ll leave signs.”
“Signs? What kind of signs?”
“Scents, flowers, birds, poems, a song on the radio,” he said with a wink. “You’ll feel me, and know in your heart that it’s me.”
Then as fast as he’d come, he was gone.
· · · · ·
True to Ian’s word, he left me signs to let me know he was still around—one being a poem that fell from the book Anne Marie had leant to me about psychic mediums. I had been reading a chapter on tormented souls when out fell a handwritten poem called a Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns, a poet who had lived during Ian’s time.
The following morning when I woke up, there was a red rose on my nightstand. I’d asked Miss Akin, Shane and Dad about it,
but all of them denied giving it to me. And this afternoon, while driving the highway to Aberdeen with Megan, the car radio had switched stations without us touching the dial, and
Wonderwall
was playing. I’d had to blink back tears.
“Sit down and I’ll start your highlights,”
Megan said, drawing me back to the present.
We were in my bedroom, and I sat on a chair with a plastic cape draped around my shoulders waiting to be
transformed
as Megan put it. I just hoped she knew what she was doing. She said she colored hair all the time.
I didn’t have anything to lose. I needed a change, and figured the start of school was the perfect time to make that change.
“I can’t believe school starts on Tuesday.
Where did the summer go?” Megan said, brushing out my hair.
I know exactly where my summer had gone. If I could relive every minute of it, I’d do so in a heartbeat.
“Hey, what are you doin’ with a drawing of Kade MacKinnon?”
I followed her gaze to the drawing of Ian that sat beside the chair near the window. I’d been staring at it last night before I went to bed, and I had forgotten to put it away.
My pulse skittered. “Kade MacKinnon?”
Kade MacKinnon looked like Ian?
“Yeah, that’s him alright…uh, dressed like a pirate.” Her eyes widened a bit, and she looked at me strangely.
What could I possibly say to get myself out of this one? I had drawn a picture of a guy I had presumably never met before. That wouldn’t fly at all. “It’s a MacKinnon ancest-or who I saw in one of the books about the town.”
“Wow, what a crazy resemblance,” she said, apparently buying my story. “Oh and
speaking of Kade, the MacKinnons return tomorrow night.”
“Yeah, they’ve been on vacation all summer, right?”
“They’re on holiday,” she said, correcting me.
“Right, on holiday,” I repeated.
“Hopefully you can meet Cait before school starts. You’ll like her. You’d never know she was filthy-rich by the way she acts, or the way she dresses. She shops only at thrift marts. Very funky.”
“She sounds like fun,” I said, excited to meet them both.
Megan reached for a foil, and started to work on the highlights. “She’s a year younger than us…and a bit of a rebel.”
“A rebel, in what way?”
“She likes punk music and industrial rock, wears a lot of dark makeup. Kind of Emo-ish, but not totally committed like Joni.
Oh, and she dated Johan for a week or so,
but Kade wasn’t too keen about it, so they stopped going out.”
“And what about Kade? What’s he like?”
“He’s—how do I say it, more reserved than his sister, but really cool. He’s one of those people who treats everyone the same, no matter what. He doesn’t always say a lot, but you get the idea that there’s a lot going on behind those blue eyes.”
My stomach tightened. Blue eyes? “Does he have a girlfriend?”
She shook her head. “No, and not because the girls haven’t tried. I mean, he’s dated here and there, but I’ve never heard anyone say a bad thing about him. Kade just never seemed that interested in any one girl. He plays a lot of football and that seems to be his focus.”
I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment, but the more Megan talked about Kade MacKinnon, the more fired up I was to meet him.
I knew Cait MacKinnon the minute she walked into the school cafeteria. The dark hair and large blue eyes were a dead give away. Megan had been right—she was a rebel, her clothing not new like everyone else’s. Her shirt had a threadiness about it that any punk rocker would love, and the platinum chunks in her hair and the dark makeup set her apart from the norm.
I liked her immediately, and even better, we clicked instantly.
“So I hear Johan is into you,” she said lifting her brows high.
I felt my cheeks grow hot. “I don’t think so. At least not anymore.”
Cait rolled her eyes. “You were smart to kick his ass to the curb. He tries to sink his hook into everyone. He’s such a bloody wanker.”
Megan snorted, while Cassandra nodded in agreement. I noticed Cassandra seemed a lot less hostile around me, and was almost tolerable, though I had a feeling we would never be good friends.
“How do you like livin’ at the inn?”
“It’s a bit big and drafty…but it’s growing on me.”
She laughed. “I know the feeling.”
“I bet,” I said, realizing I’d have to be careful and not ever let on that I’d actually been inside her house.
“I can see the inn from my bedroom window. It’s nice to see lights on over there now.
It was empty for so long.”
“I can see the castle from my room, too,”
I said, feeling like an idiot the second I said it. Of course I could see the castle…if she could see the inn.
She grinned. “You’ll have to come over sometime.”
“I’d like that,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure I could handle being in the castle right now. Ian’s departure had left a hole in my heart, and returning to the scene of said departure would be tough.
“Let’s make plans.” She slung her backpack on the table and unzipped the outer pocket and rummaged through it. “Damn it, I left my money at home. I wonder if Kade has first lunch.”
My heart skipped a beat at the mention of her brother. Megan met my gaze and winked, before popping a cracker into her mouth.
“I think he does have first lunch,” Cassandra said, fussing with her hair. “I just passed him in the hall. In fact, there he is.”
I followed Cassandra’s gaze to the double doors.
My heart missed a beat. I could barely breathe.
Kade MacKinnon looked almost exactly like Ian. He was maybe an inch or two taller
than Ian, and had the same broad shoulders but he was more muscular. His hair wasn’t as long as Ian’s, but it was layered and shaggy.
He sat down at a table, with, of all people, Johan and Tom.
Great.
“I’ll be right back,” Cait said, leaving her backpack and its contents strewn on the table top as she headed toward her brother.
Kade looked up as his sister approached and smiled. Oh my God, did he have dimples?
I set my sandwich down and took a drink of pop, unable to take my eyes off of Kade.
He stood, reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills and handed them to Cait. She smiled, said something to him, and walked back our way.
His gaze abruptly shifted to me.
My breath caught in my throat, and I felt like I’d been hit in the stomach. I’d know those long-lashed blue eyes anywhere. He
stared at me for a moment, and then the sides of his mouth lifted. My stomach did a little flip. He did have dimples; deep dimples, just like Ian.
Despite my effort to play it cool, I grinned like an idiot.
Megan followed my gaze and turned back to me, brow arched. “You could play a little hard-to-get, you know?” she said, her lips twitching. “Didn’t I tell you he was hot?”