Authors: Larry McMurtry
It wasn’t that she was absolutely against it, it was just that she hadn’t had a chance to think about it or talk it over with Pepper. Maybe it was something Ross should be consulted about, after all he was still her father even if he wasn’t around. But Bonventre was standing there looking impatient, he wanted her just to sign it instantly, he hated not getting his way if it had anything to do with the show.
Harmony tried to sort of think about it quickly but she was too tired. Besides, it hurt her feelings that Gary hadn’t told her about the audition, sometimes he and Pepper sort of teamed up against her. It was mostly just over clothes and she didn’t take it too seriously, but now she got the feeling that everybody was teaming against her, Pepper and Gary and Bonventre and probably Myrtle—Myrtle must have known about the audition but she hadn’t let out a peep. It was really the wrong time for people to team up against her, she had two shows to do and was so tired she needed all her energy just for the shows.
“Was it topless?” she asked, meaning the audition—it was something she kept thinking about.
“No, Harmony, it wasn’t topless, it was just a dance audition, will you quit stalling?” Bonventre said. “Pepper’s going to be wonderful. She’s going to be a very big star. I wouldn’t think you’d want to stand in her way.”
“I don’t want to. I just want to think,” Harmony said. Bonventre grinned like he was about to say something about her brainpower, but he didn’t. She was getting her feelings more and more hurt that nobody had told her about the audition. She felt she was about to cry, despite the fact that it was only thirty minutes till show time and would not help her face, which was not at its best anyway.
“Jackie, I’ll give it to you at my break, I just have to discuss it with her father,” she said, feeling she had to get out of the office at all costs.
“Oh fuck, Harmony, you don’t even know where her father is!” Bonventre said. He was on the verge of being in a rage.
“Yes I do,” she said, which was a lie. She thought Reno but it could have been Tahoe, Ross tended to go back and forth. Anyway, she could always find him because she knew his best friend, a guy named Martin who was a cashier in Reno.
“I’ll give it to you at my break, I have to do my makeup now,” she said. She got up and hit it out of there before Bonventre could stop her.
“Cover up those dark circles!” he yelled, as she was leaving. She happened to notice that Murdo’s dressing room was empty, which was unusual, he was usually there playing low-grade blackjack with Lucy, the girl who was the magician’s assistant—she and Murdo were from the same hometown, some place near Chicago. Harmony popped into his dressing room, where she would have a little privacy—she tried to choke off the tears but she couldn’t, all she did was choke them off enough that it felt like she was crying through her nose. Fortunately Murdo didn’t come in, he was always getting a sore throat just before his act and having to rush to the emergency clinic for a last minute spray job, maybe that explained his absence.
Harmony couldn’t stop the tears, she just felt for a minute that she didn’t have one single person on her side, even Gary her closest friend hadn’t told her about the audition. It wasn’t that she wanted to stand in Pepper’s way if she wanted to be a star, it was just kind of sudden not to have a child anymore. It wasn’t that long ago that Pepper had still played with her dollhouse and had been a little girl—maybe
only about five years. Pepper had got quite grown when she was twelve. It just seemed suddenly that she didn’t have a child—people were making decisions and she wasn’t even being told.
But despite her hurt feelings time was running out, she was usually out there waiting for the feathers to come down on the hoist by this time. About all she could do was rush into the restroom and splash water on her eyes. It wasn’t going to be the best night of her career but she couldn’t help it. Most of the girls were in the last stages of getting their makeup on when she finally got to the dressing room. Fortunately she was very efficient about that process and just ignored the chatter and fixed herself as best she could. Instead of being first on stage she was last, Gary was about ready to have a fit. He was looking really nervous, probably part of it was the pills.
“Harmony, don’t do this to me, we’re barely going to make the curtain,” he said. She just held out her arms and didn’t say a word, it was not time to go into the business of why he was teaming up against her. Gary could tell she was not at her friendliest though.
“Did you hear about Murdo?” he said.
“Did he get a sore throat?” Harmony asked—it was unusual for Murdo not to be in the dressing room.
“No, he got arrested for writing a hot check,” Gary said. “Bonventre won’t make his bail so I guess we’re without a ventriloquist for the first show.”
That was too bad—people loved Murdo even if Genevieve did say she could see his lips move. The check part reminded her of Denny and she had to press her lips tightly together as she was getting on her disc. She didn’t want to cry again. They had put Cherri on Jessie’s disc, she looked a little nervous about being up high. Harmony wanted to wave at her not to worry, but before she could the show started.
2.
G
ARY WAS
waiting for her when the finale was over. It was not just that he wanted to take care of her costume either.
“Harmony, I’m sorry, please forgive me,” he said. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you about the audition. I guess I just didn’t want to upset you anymore right now. I know it was a wrong decision, I just wasn’t thinking too clearly. Do you want to go get something to eat?”
They drove up to the Waffle House because Gary said his body clock was all screwed up, his body clock felt like it was time for bacon and eggs. The Waffle House was full of old couples who were all dressed up and eating waffles. Probably they had decided that rather than spring for a dinner show they would just eat waffles and save a little money.
Harmony ordered a waffle herself, but when it came she was too tired to eat. Mainly she drank coffee, hoping she would somehow be able to stay awake through the second show. It was a relief that Gary had apologized, she could understand that he hadn’t wanted to upset her. He told her about Denny making Pepper mad and how beautiful she looked and how all the choreographers thought she danced so well. Hearing him describe it she got over the bad feeling and just decided to go on and sign the work consent form. Why shouldn’t Pepper be a star?
“Do you think Ross would care?” she asked Gary. He had known Ross quite well.
“Ross would love it,” Gary assured her, probably he was right.
Then she went to the ladies room and sort of went to
sleep sitting down. Probably it was only a nap of about a minute, but what woke her up was a dream about Francois having starved to death, his corpse was lying right there on Jessie’s bed.
It was a big relief to realize she was still in the ladies room and it hadn’t happened yet, although maybe it had. Francois was so tiny and so annoyed if he didn’t get his way, maybe he had starved to death in record time just to make them all feel horrible.
“We gotta hit the Safeway,” she told Gary. They still had plenty of time before the second show so they hit it. Gary definitely wanted to be able to tell Jessie Francois was fit as a fiddle. Harmony was nervous until they got to Jessie’s apartment and saw that she had just had a bad dream while sitting in the John. Francois was very much alive and not that grateful, they had to wash all the wrong brand dog food down the Disposall before he would touch a bite.
“You know my theory,” Gary said. “Only people who have unhappy sex lives keep animals this small. It makes me wonder about Jessie and Monroe.”
“Gary, I’ve told you ninety times I wasn’t big on Monroe,” Harmony said.
“Well, he’s a kind man,” Gary said.
“Okay, but that doesn’t mean a sex life,” she said. They sort of had a little argument about what Jessie ought to do as they drove back to the Stardust. It was wonderful that Gary had thought to apologize so they could be friends again and have a serious talk about Jessie. After all, Jessie was the one with the serious problems. Harmony didn’t think the mere fact that Jessie loved Francois meant she had an unhappy sex life, but once Gary developed a theory he sort of clung to it. He seemed to think the fact that Francois was a miniature was very significant, but it was a part of the theory that Harmony couldn’t follow, she was just too tired.
Just as they got to the Stardust Gary said, “Harmony, there’s something else I’ve been concealing because I didn’t want to upset you.”
“Gary, I don’t know why you don’t just tell me things,” she said. “Is it about Pepper getting married?”
“That’s right, hold onto your hat,” Gary said. “She’s not engaged to Buddy. She’s been going out with an older guy who’s very rich. She says he’s very nice and he’s crazy about her and wants to marry her.”
Harmony took that in stride. The only point that bothered her was that if it had been going on for a while then Pepper was a little too good at keeping secrets.
“How old is he?” she asked.
“I get the impression maybe forty-five or so,” Gary said.
“Gary, Didier was about sixty when I fell in love with him and I was seventeen,” she reminded him. “That was one of the best things that happened to me in my life, maybe Pepper will be as lucky as I was.”
The second show went better than the first. The fact that Gary had apologized helped her be less tense, she sort of got a second wind and got through it all without falling asleep on stage or anything. Cherri was so excited about her sister coming that it sort of gave everyone a lift. Cherri was very bouncy when she was happy and was getting up a group to hit the discos, but Harmony had to pass, what she needed was sleep. Gary had given her his car, he was going to catch a ride home with the disco crowd. His body clock was still screwed up, he thought he might even dance a little while the pills wore off.
Before she left the dressing room she signed the work consent form. Gary had convinced her it was okay, he said how many sixteen-year-olds get a chance to dance the lead? Besides he had talked to Monique and Monique was giving serious thought to moving to Reno. She wanted to live a life that didn’t involve Bonventre, which sort of ruled out the Stardust.
She took the form in and handed it to Bonventre, who was on the phone. He glanced at it and put his hand over the receiver. “Thanks, would you wait a minute?” he said, and went back to his call while Harmony leaned against the door. She felt so tired she was afraid she might go to sleep and dream another terrible dream about Francois being a starved corpse. But Bonventre didn’t talk long. He asked her if she would like to sit down.
“I’m so tired I’d have to make an effort to get back up,” she said. “I’d rather just lean. So when will Pepper start?”
“Next week,” he said. “It’s not what I want to talk to you about, though. I want to talk about you.”
Harmony thought maybe he had heard about Dave and wanted to warn her or something. He didn’t have to bother—one breakfast of K rations was all the warning she needed.
“What have I done now?” she asked.
“Nothing, when’s your birthday?” Bonventre asked. He seemed sort of tired himself.
“Next month, the fourth,” she said. It was a surprise question. What was he going to do, give her a birthday party for the first time since he’d known her?
“You’ll be thirty-nine, right?” Bonventre said. “You know what I think? I think that might be the ideal time for you to retire from this profession. Quit while you’re ahead.”
That was a jolt, he had never mentioned quitting to her before, though it was one of his well-known habits. He was always telling girls they ought to quit, then if they didn’t he fired them anyway. But he had never said one word about her quitting. Maybe the dark circles had brought it on, though he should know a little sleep was all she needed to correct that.
“Jackie, I don’t know why you think I’m ahead,” she said. “I have plenty of bills. I even lost my Visa, I can’t afford to quit.”
“This is not the only job in the world, you know,” he said. “There are even some that pay better. You don’t have to work at the Stardust forever just because you lost your Visa.”
She didn’t feel like arguing, she had never even thought of having any other kind of job. Except for the three weeks as a waitress when she had first come to Las Vegas she had been a showgirl the whole time. What did he think she was going to do, become a secretary?
“Is it just the dark circles?” she asked. “I told you I didn’t get any sleep. Jessie doesn’t break her ankle every day.”
Bonventre sort of sighed, as if every word she said was exactly the words he didn’t want to hear. At least he was not going into a rage, though. Maybe he was too tired for a rage.
“Harmony, you’ve got eyes,” he said. “You know every girl in this show. How many of them are thirty-nine years old?”
Actually none, the next was Linda and she was just thirty-seven.
“I know, but I haven’t gained,” Harmony said. “I haven’t even gained a pound.”
Bonventre looked more tired. “You might never gain a pound,” he said. “I would be the first to admit that you take excellent care of yourself. You might not gain a pound in the next twenty years but that doesn’t mean you can go on being a showgirl until you’re sixty.”
Harmony began to get a bad feeling. Bonventre wasn’t in a rage, but she was getting the bad feeling anyway. One thing she didn’t want was beating around the bush.
“I just came in to give you the form,” she said. “Are you firing me, Jackie?”
“Harmony, I’m firing you,” he said. “As of your birthday.”
Harmony didn’t say a word, she was trying to think if there were any new shows about to start along the Strip, maybe there was still time to audition. Gary would know. Meanwhile she didn’t have the energy to work up a big rage, neither did Bonventre evidently, he was almost friendly for once, now that he was firing her. Of course she had known hundreds of girls Bonventre had fired, some had screamed at him, some had cried their eyes out, some had just got their stuff and split. Anyway there was no appeal if Bonventre fired you, you were definitely fired.