The Destiny of Amalah (19 page)

Rakan was still trying to catch his breath and speak to her but he could not do either, the pain was in every fibre of his body and his breath would not stay long enough in his lungs to give him the strength to talk to her. He continued to stare at her and Ellora stared at both of them in turn.

All three of them remained silent for what seemed an eternity and the silence was only broken as Michael and Garrick burst into the room; they surveyed the situation but were both at a loss as to what had taken place in Amara’s study. They rushed over to where the three of them were and waited for an explanation.

‘What happened here?’ Garrick asked, kneeling down to tend to his son who was obviously badly hurt.

‘It was I,’ Amara said in a broken voice. ‘I did this to both of them.’

‘Rakan,’ Garrick said, clearly distressed to see his son in such a state. ‘Son are you alright?’ Garrick asked, deeply concerned for his son. He knelt at Rakan’s head and cradled his son in his arms and Rakan clung onto his father.

‘I am…’ Amara began but she could not continue.

She looked up into Michael’s eyes and the tears began to well up in hers once again. She could not bear to tell him what she had done, she was so ashamed and as such, tears replaced words and they flowed freely. Michael knelt down besides her and looked at her.

‘Empress whatever happened, we can help you.’

‘No you can’t,’ she sobbed.

‘Yes we can,’ he said gently but firmly.

‘Oh Michael, I am so ashamed,’ she said still sobbing.

‘Hush Empress,’ he said grasping her shoulder. He got Amara to calm down before he looked at Garrick and Rakan before he spoke. ‘How is Rakan?’ he asked genuinely concerned.

I do not know Michael. I have never seen my son this way before,’ Garrick said grimly.

‘Ellora, run and fetch a healer,’ Michael said to her.

‘But I do not want to leave them,’ she began.

‘You must. Do not worry Ellora, Garrick and I are here and here we shall remain until you return.’

‘She cannot,’ Rakan said weakly. ‘She was hurt too.’

‘What happened to you?’ Michael asked.

‘I banged my head but I am ok.’

‘Let me see,’ Michael said gently as he moved towards her.

‘No, it’s ok,’ she said tearfully; ‘I’m ok and anyway this is all my fault,’ Ellora said.

‘No it is not,’ Rakan said forcefully. Ellora looked at Rakan and was about to say something when Garrick spoke.

‘Ellora go,’ Garrick urged. ‘Rakan needs the healers.

Ellora sped out of the room and went hunting for the healers, she told everyone in her path to find a healer and send them to the Empresses’ study. Eventually she located one of the healers named Dariel in the main kitchen. She explained to him what had happened and the two of them rushed back to: Amara, Rakan, Michael and Garrick in the study.

Garrick held onto his son and Michael watched over Amara. Both men wondered how the two had been hurt so badly and the study destroyed. They looked at each other and then at Rakan and Amara, and it was Amara who spoke.

‘I used magic,’ she said quietly, instinctively answering the question on their minds.

‘As did I,’ Rakan admitted.

‘I did not know that either one of you had any magical powers,’ Michael said.

‘Nor did I,’ said Amara

‘Nor I,’ added Rakan.

‘I was angry at Ellora for daring to challenge me, and suddenly, I was overcome with rage and as it took hold of me, I felt this surge of energy go through my body. I did not understand it until it left me – It was power.’

Michael and Garrick exchanged glances with each other and then looked at Amara but it was Rakan who spoke next.

‘I was trying to protect Ellora and I was angry at Amara. I too felt a wave of power course through my body,’ he said weakly. He struggled for more breath before he could continue again and as he struggled, Garrick instinctively held his son a bit tighter. ‘It was something that I had never felt before and it felt bigger than me, my life, who I am. As though it was harnessed from some other place other than myself.’

Michael and Garrick continued to exchange worried glances as part of the story unfolded, both of them wanted to say something but before they could Ellora and Dariel entered the room. Dariel went to Amara but she dismissed him and told him to tend to Rakan first. Dariel then turned around and knelt down besides Garrick and Rakan and tended to Rakan’s wounds.

‘You will heal young man,’ he said after examining Rakan closely. ‘Slowly but surely you will heal. You must be strong to be able to withstand an attack from dark magic,’ the healer said.

‘Dark magic?’ Garrick enquired, gravely concerned by Dariel’s words.

‘Yes, any magic used to hurt, or for bad purposes, or personal gain comes from darkness. Not since…’ Dariel started to say but stopped himself from finishing the sentence, but Michael and Garrick knew what he was going to say. ‘Magic is not to be trifled with and dark magic should
never
be used – especially by the good!’ Dariel said, scolding Amara and Rakan and looking at each of them in turn.

‘Garrick. I will take the Empress to her room,’ Michael said as he bent down. He looked at Amara and smiled a reassuring smile at her before he scooped her up in his arms, then he stood up and Amara clung onto him. ‘Rakan I wish you a rapid recovery, of which I am sure you will make and I will visit you shortly,’ Michael said and then turned and looked at Ellora. ‘Princess what do you wish to do?’

‘Stay here with Rakan,’ Ellora said immediately.

Amara was not surprised when Ellora said that but she was still quite stung when she uttered the words.

‘Very well,’ Michael said. ‘Dariel look after the boy,’ Michael instructed before he left the study with the Empress still in his arms.

He took Amara to her bedroom and gently placed her on the bed and placed a blanket over her and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. He looked at her searchingly but at that moment, all he could see were tears filling her eyes and behind the tears were pain, a pain that was hurting her so deeply.

‘Amara,’ he said as he took hold of her hand and clasped it in his. ‘Talk to me,’ he implored her. ‘I understand your pain, I lost my parents when I was a boy. I know you are in pain, I see it in your eyes. It’s haunting you, not to mention destroying you and those around you.’

‘Oh Michael I am so ashamed,’ she said and then burst into tears. ‘I hurt Ellora and I hurt Rakan and I’ve been hurting everyone around me,’ she said as she started to cry again.

‘Why?’ he asked simply.

‘Because I felt all alone in this world and I did not dare to share my feelings. My father and then my mother left me and I was all alone. All alone and destined to take care of my sister, Amalah, the nations and run the council,’ she said and then let out a sob. ‘Everyone turned to me and I felt as though I had no one to turn to,’ she said in a sad and heartfelt way. ‘Suddenly I had to be strong. There was no time to myself, or for myself and with no one to talk to, and then I felt I had to appear strong to everyone; but I’m not Michael, I’m not.’ she said sadly, as she choked on her words. ‘When my parents died I felt like my world fell apart and I was the only one in it.’

‘Amara, I promise you that you are not alone in this world,’ Michael said softly. ‘I will always be here for you, as will: Ellora, Häkan, Garrick, Thaddeus and Raynor. You can tell me anything. It is not weak to ask for help, or to share your feelings with others. We all go through life but we need not go through it alone.’

‘So many people look to me Michael – I feel alone.’

‘I understand how you feel, I truly do.’

She nodded. She knew he had lost his parents and his siblings when he was much younger than she was but beyond that, Michael had never talked of his childhood.

‘Before the war started in your fathers’ time I was but a child, I was seven years old. My father in his infinite wisdom, knew that they would need someone who could elicit information but not draw attention to themselves – A child,’ Michael said with a hint of melancholy.

‘You!’ Amara said incredulously.

‘Yes me – I was the perfect spy. I would tend to people in bars, bring them ale or mead for a small tip or take their glasses away and as I worked, I would gather information and listen to conversations but no one would pay me any mind. I was just a child – what possible use could I have for the conversations flowing from their loose lips. They doubted I could even understand them let alone read, the irony of it was, I could; better than most of them put together.

When my parents and brothers were slain, your mother and father, Garrick and Häkan took care of me. When the war started, your father asked me to return to Amalah with your mother and do the same thing. As the war raged on through the years, and I grew up, it was not enough for me to listen in on conversations anymore; I had to gain trusts and betray confidences.

I had to live among the instigators, away from my friends and my father, the only parent I had left. I had to live among adults whose only goal in life was power. I lived among them as they lied, cheated, deceived and plotted their way through the war and to their goal. Often, I was alone – a child among adults who did bad things as a way of life. I did not want to live among them another day, nor did I want to grow up to become them.’

‘A child alone,’ Amara said intuitively and sadly.

‘A child alone,’ he repeated distantly as the memories came flooding back. ‘A child who thought that he could not and would not trust another adult for as long as he lived. That much I vowed.’

‘But Michael, now you seem…’

‘Normal!’ he said with a heavy sigh. ‘Thank your father, mother, Garrick and Häkan. They were all was kind and honest people. Other adults would lie and try to make me feel better, or shield me from how bad things really were – but not the four of them. They told me the truth, good or bad; but they reassured me that they would always be there for me and if one of them could not be, they would ensure that someone was. Your father and those around him
never
lied – never! No matter how bad the truth was, and that was what I needed – someone to restore my faith in adults and in human nature. Garrick, Häkan, Raynor and Thaddeus were also men of honour and your mother was a woman of honour too.’

‘Michael,’ Amara said emotionally.

‘I never lie Amara. I will never lie to you, or shield you from the truth and think that I am doing it to protect you. I would lay down my life for you – but lying – that will only bring mistrust and tragedy. I would never do that to you, not just because you are Kai and Elana’s daughter but because of who you are.’

‘Who am I?’

‘Amara! The woman! The Empress! The woman who I respect and admire; you are not alone – do not choose to be.’

‘Oh Michael, I do not know what to say or do. Today has been a disgraceful chapter in my life,’ she said humbly and tearfully.

‘Say that you will come to me. Say that you now know that you are not alone and say that you have learned from this chapter in your life and that you will not repeat it – but, most importantly,
know
that you are not alone.’

Amara lifted her other hand and placed it on Michael’s cheek and she stroked it softly before she spoke: ‘I now know I am not alone and I will come to you. I have learned from this disgraceful chapter in my life and I have yet to make amends for it – if indeed I can.’

‘I hope that you can and I am fairly certain that you can. I know Ellora and Rakan, they love you dearly and they have forgiving natures.’

‘Michael I am afraid, afraid of myself. I lost who I was, I forgot myself. I came to be someone who enjoyed inflicting pain on others, including my own sister, dear Ellora,’ Amara said, pained at the thought of having done her sister harm. ‘Sweet Ellora, I could have killed them both. Michael you did not see me in there and I am glad that you did not; but I am afraid of myself, not to mention ashamed.’

‘Good.’

‘Why is that good?’

‘Because it is not who you want to be, you struck at Ellora and Rakan but when you did, you also hurt yourself. You now know what you are capable of and it is better to be aware of it so that you do not inadvertently embrace it. As for the shame, I will not deny that what you did was shameful, nor should I and nor should you; but after anything bad happens in our lives we can only do one thing.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Go on, that is what you must do; learn from this, apologise, make amends and then go on.’

‘I can’t face them again.’

‘You can and you must.’

‘I really don’t want to,’ she said sheepishly.

‘I imagine not, you do not have to do anything this day Empress. Rest easy for now but tomorrow is another day and I will help you face it.’

‘Thank you Michael. I do not know what I would do if you were not here.’

Michael squeezed her hand tightly for a brief moment and smiled at her. ‘You will be alright Empress,’ he said as he stood up to leave her. She smiled back as he turned and left her alone in her room with her own thoughts for company.