The Destroyer Book 4 (63 page)

I could not use the World when giving birth.

I knew this. All Elvens knew this. Our bodies healed too quickly with the magic and my bones needed to part so the child could pass out of my womb. It wouldn’t have been much of an issue or complication if I was surrounded by the birthing women in the tribal nest. There would have been a warm fire, warm drinks, and warm massages with warm oil to comfort and soothe me. I could have ignored my magic and let the offspring come out of my body with little fuss.

I could not ignore the World at the moment. It was too cold and I would freeze to death in a few minutes without the World to keep me warm. I needed a fire and someplace warm to nest. The canyon wall was my best bet. If there was any sort of cave concealed there I had to find it soon or the baby in my womb would be crushed against my own healing bones or die along with me of hypothermia.

Pain laced through my stomach and back again. I couldn’t keep from moaning this time, but the rain also seemed to feel my agony and increased in its ferocity, muting my cries. When the pain passed, I forced myself up to my feet and walked, hunched over, through the forest toward the canyon.

Thirty-four seconds.

A contraction hit me again and I leaned against one of the nearby trees. Pine, dirt, and rain scents filled the air and I congratulated myself on not vocalizing my agony this time. I guessed that I was halfway to the canyon wall, but it was hard to tell in the darkness and distortion of the unrelenting rain.

I expected to come face to face with one of Malek’s armored warriors behind each tree, but they had either moved on farther down the river or were still searching the area around where I first fell. Finally, I made it to the canyon after two more piercing contractions with thirty-second intervals between them. The canyon wall extended the length of the river as far as I could see in the darkness and rain seemed to seep out of the smooth rocky face like it was crying.

I didn’t see any caves or even a tiny nook that I could use as shelter, so I followed the cliff face for a few dozen more feet. Another bout of pain laced through my back and hips. This one was worse. It drove me to my knees and I could not stifle my screams. The pain did not let up and I twitched on the ground for what felt like two minutes. Intense pressure accompanied the pain and I knew in some deep feral part of my mind what this meant.

The baby needed to come out.

Now.

Lightning flashed and I gasped with joy. High on the cliff face was an outcropping of hanging trees concealing a cave. Thunder smashed into the air angrily and the ferocity of the sound urged me to begin my climb.

I waited through another pain before I began my climb. The pressure was building and I felt overwhelmed with the need to push the baby out here and now, but I held it in and breathed through the urgency. The trees were eighty feet above me, and the water made every hand and foot hold treacherous. If not for the rain, the child, and the labor, I could have made the climb in seconds. As it was, this ascent was impossible.

Except there were no other options.

I climbed. I stopped every few seconds to ride through a wave of pain and pressure, grasping the rock face and closing my eyes to the rain that lashed my hair against me like thousands of stinging whips. The climb was agonizingly slow and my heart pounded with the effort and the fear of being spotted.

I finally reached my destination and pulled myself up into the outcropping. It was a cave, a deep one at that, and I knew I would be safe from the eyes of the O’Baarni as long as they did not think to investigate this section of the canyon. I almost laughed with joy but then I took three painful steps into the cave and stopped. The scent was wrong. A creature lived in here and it only took me a moment to realize what it was.

A carrion beast.

The odor was fresh. It was still in here. I had no weapons, just my magic and a belly full of life the creature would rob me of quicker than the O’Baarni. I had killed many of the monsters in my past, and while I always avoided their razor-sharp teeth, deadly claws, and poisonous quills, I never had more at risk than my own life, and I had always carried a few spears with me.

There was no other choice. I needed to kill the beast

I walked back into the depths of the cave, reminded of my meeting with the dragons. I had been terrified then, but I believed there was no other way to save my people. Now I knew that had been folly. Perhaps she had planned the meeting. Maybe she had even planted the stones Nyarathe and I found in the ruins. The creature was cunning and if not for the fact that Kaiyer had somehow managed to kill her family I—

The beast growled in the darkness ahead. I risked a flame to my hand and the size of the cave was revealed with its orange light. The cave traveled back about sixty yards at a slight upward slope. At the back of the cavern lay a pile of bones, travel packs, skulls, and a massive carrion beast. The largest one I had ever seen was about half the size of a horse, but this particular specimen dwarfed that easily. It hissed as my light appeared and the creature’s tail darted up into the air like a scorpion. The barbed quills on the end turned to face me and I crouched low to prepare to spring to either side to dodge them.

Then a contraction came again.

I tried not to scream but I could not contain my agony. The massive beast hissed again and it sprang to its feet in a liquid movement. I fell to my knees and the fire in my hand flickered and almost died.

The baby’s head was pushing into my cervix with so much pressure I could not focus on the flame anymore. The carrion beast growled menacingly at me and I looked up at the creature.

“Get the fuck out or shut the fuck up!” I screamed at the giant monster. Its tail began to quiver and I grasped onto the World through the intense pain spreading through my body. “I will gut you and wear your fur like a coat. Get out or stay down!” The carrion beast had cat-like, violet eyes and they opened a little wider at my words. “You heard me!” I screamed again at the animal and then growled through an agonizing bout of pain. “Lie down or I’ll kill you right now.”

I stared at the creature and it looked back at me. Our eyes met over the flame in my palm and I debated killing it a hundred times as the agony pushed against my spine like a red-hot fire poker. Finally the carrion beast blinked its large eyes and lowered its tail. It circled its bed a few times, looked back at me, lay down, and rested its feline head on the top of its oversized clawed feet.

I tore off my pants and threw them on the ground. Then I did the same with my soaked undergarments and tunic. I could smell the blood and oils of my amniotic fluid and I looked back at the carrion beast to see if the creature had decided to make a move. Its violet eyes were halfway opened and it studied me lazily.

The pain came again and I forced myself to let go of the World.

It was an odd sensation. My magic was such a part of my mind and body that it almost felt as if I had suddenly lost one of my limbs. The pain hit me full force in the hips, spine, and back. Now that there was no power to dull it, I felt tears stream down my face with the same force as the rain beating down outside the cave. The child in my womb seemed to understand that it was safe to escape now and it made rhythmic movements against the inside of my abdomen.

I panted through the pain and waited for the surge to return. It would all end soon. With the magic out of my system, my bones could bend enough to allow the baby to come out. I felt the urge to push and did, straining with every ounce of strength in my body through the contraction that shot pain through my body. I could feel the baby’s head, so low, so close to emerging, but as I stopped pushing to rest and catch my breath, the head retreated back a bit. I groaned in frustration. All the effort had done little to move it. The surge of tension returned and I squatted down and pushed harder, so hard I felt my eyeballs would burst from my face. My skin reddened and I could not breathe. The pressure was enormous, it felt like the baby was the size of the carrion beast. I had to stop to take a breath and prepare to push again.

I reached between my legs and felt gingerly for the child’s head and found it there, a small, surprisingly soft wet lump. I tried not to feel discouraged at how much farther it needed to go to be born and braced myself for another contraction. I pushed again. As hard as I could, gritting my teeth and moaning so loud I was certain the O’Baarni would hear me through the storm. I continued to push and felt the head descending farther, it was so close. I took another deep breath and screamed as I gave a final momentous push and felt the odd slippery sensation of the little creature’s yielding skull sliding into my hands. I pulled the rest of its body out of mine, then I sat back and laughed in relief as I cradled the puckered little thing to my chest.

It was wet and white and wrinkled, it did not cry yet, its face scrunched up in an angry protest to the harsh interruption of birth. I looked with fascination at the thick pulsing cord that still connected the child to myself. I felt some mild contractions and gently pushed the placenta out with relative ease. The pain faded, replaced by a wondrous echo of pleasure. Lightning lit the hallway of the cave in a series of three thunderous crashes.

“By the Dead Gods, you fucking hurt me!” The baby was wetter than I expected and I cradled it against my bare chest to keep it warm. The fire from my hand had long since gone out. I risked a small glow from my palm so that I could get a better look at what Kaiyer and I had created. It was wrinkly, hairless, and completely unattractive.

Then she opened her eyes.

They were green. Just like his. They seemed to glow brighter than the fire in my hand. There was intelligence and recognition in her eyes. She knew me and I knew her. She looked at me with pure love. It struck me so hard that I felt my chest heave and tears returned to my eyes. This little creature had never spoken a word to me, but perhaps it knew me better than I knew myself. She understood I would do anything to protect her.

“Hello, Vaiarathe. Daughter of the storm.” Her eyes closed and then opened again. I pulled the World back into my body and felt the surge of warmth come from Vaiarathe. Did she know how to use the magic already? That should have been impossible. But she was the Singleborn of a Singleborn. O’Baarni and Elven. Who knew what power she might possess?

The dragons knew.

I debated leaving the cave with my precious child, but I knew this was the safest place within several miles. The carrion beast still watched me, but I knew that the creature and I had an understanding. It was female, and had been a mother as well. I had nothing to fear while I stayed here.

The baby made a gasping sound and I pulled her to my breast. The pain had subsided, but the exhaustion would not leave my body without rest. Vaiarathe sucked lazily for a few moments but then she nodded her head and fell into a deep sleep.

I shortly joined her.

“What happened?” Malek’s voice was halfway between a scream and a question.

“I killed her,” I choked out the words and pushed my face into my shaking palms. The tears that came down my cheeks felt cold.

“What the fuck are you talking about? What did you do?” His armored hands grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me violently. The scent of Shlara’s charred body drifted to my nose and I wanted to vomit. It felt like a dream. A nightmare. This could not be happening.

What had I done?

I killed Shlara. I chose Iolarathe over my best friend. I chose the Elven who enslaved me, who murdered humans with as much care as I swatted at flies, who led an army against my kin and sent dragons to butcher thousands of my soldiers. I chose the woman who killed my father and brother over the woman who adored me above all else. What kind of monster was I?

“No. No. No.” He let go of my bare shoulders and ran over to the smoldering corpse twenty feet to my side. My eyes followed him, but the image blurred through my tears. Iolarathe was gone and the feeling of our lovemaking was now eclipsed by my self-loathing.

“How? Why?” he shrieked. He pulled off his wolf helmet with a frantic yank.

“I don’t know,” I whispered the words, but I knew he heard me.

“You don’t know? You don’t know? You just murdered her and you have no reason?” Tears streamed down his face. The four warriors accompanying him shifted in their seats nervously. I was grateful that their matching wolf helmets all covered their faces. I did not want to face their disgust.