The Destroyer (30 page)

"Your father, Nadea, and her father are having disagreements with me," I said as I reached across to sample some of the berries. They were good, but probably not as delicious as her lips were. I tried to steer my thoughts from ravishing her to the conversation. It was difficult.

"About what?" She took my plate and began to slice cheese for it, concern plain on her face as she concentrated on our conversation.

"I would prefer to leave as soon as possible for the North, where the Ancients’ army is. They argued that I should stay here since the winters are terrible up north and there will be no activity for the next few months. I agreed as long as they could meet my requests. So far we have been at an impasse about my dormitory. They seem to think that it will be safer if I am locked in my room for the winter. This is unacceptable." She nodded at me and handed me a new plate of bread and cheese.

"Can I help?" she asked me. "I don't want you to leave."

"If you can convince your father to let me have free rein over the castle it would be excellent. I need to move around, train, become stronger, and run. Spending the next three months locked in my room will not be pleasant for me."

“I know.”

"Is that why you left the castle and followed Nadea?"

"Yes," she answered plainly. "You have been here for a few weeks and you already want to leave. I've been here for almost nineteen winters. I don't leave my room unless the guards are with me, when I am in my room my handmaidens are always around.” Her face fell a little, she maintained the smile in her lips but her eyes narrowed in anger. “Those first days on my own, having freedom to do what I wished, not to have to explain myself or ask permission, it was the first time I felt . . . real?” She looked up at me, unsure. I nodded to encourage her to continue. While I could not relate to the sheltered, privileged life she led, I did understand how it felt to go from being watched over and ordered around to having to think for yourself. It was at once jarring, terrifying, and exhilarating. “Here I am just another treasured object,” she gestured to the elegant marble statues flanking our table, “my purpose is to look nice, grow in value and eventually be used to purchase political power.” Her face was suddenly hard, serious.

I found it hard to pity her though. I remembered a world where I was nothing more than a beast of burden. I remembered my father and brother, their handsome faces contorted into ones of pain and death. She lacked freedom, but she was safe, she was valued and irreplaceable. This girl had no idea how easy her life was compared to what the women of my time had endured. She had never known fear or hunger. I doubted she had ever experienced any real pain.

"Were you punished for following Nadea?" I asked so my mind could wander from the raw memories.

"Yes, but not that badly. Father and Mother canceled a few of my activities. I had also planned a trip to Nadea's home for a few weeks and they told me I couldn't go. Mother probably believes my cousin is a bad influence on me." She laughed but I could sense frustration in the expression.

"Nadea's home? Doesn't she live here?" My mind thought back to an hour ago when I had almost kissed her. I forced myself to focus.

"No. The duke's keep is a hundred or so miles east, closer to the mountains. He guards the Teeth Mountain ranges from the Losher Tribes." I gave her a puzzled look. "They are another country. Losher dislikes us even more than Vanlourn. Nadea and her father are here for you, although she has been using the castle for her studies for the last few years. She normally goes home during the winter. I was going to go with her."

I nodded and thought to myself. Perhaps I could use Nadea's keep instead of staying here. It sounded like it might be out of the way. Jessmei took a sip of her water and looked over at the birds. She appeared lost in her own thoughts.

"Jessmei has such a crush on the stranger," one of her handmaidens, I believe Levie, whispered to the others. They had been softly talking about various frivolous topics, I had ignored their conversation but my ears pricked up when they began to whisper.

"Shhh! She'll hear you and make you spend all night brushing her hair out," Siliah said with a chuckle.

"At least you didn't have to put her hair up into that complicated nest. You should have heard her the whole time: 'Do you think he'd rather my hair be up or down? Do you think he'll like what I picked for lunch? Do you think he'll like this dress? What if he doesn't talk at all during lunch? What do I do?'" Damina laughed loud and then covered her mouth with her hand. She looked over to Jessmei and me but she must have thought I couldn't listen in on their conversation from so far away.

"She should have been more worried about spending all morning getting ready to meet him without even asking if he was available!" Siliah tittered.

"He is handsome, I agree with her, but so skinny! I can see the bones in his face and neck. I like my men with some meat on them," Yera whispered as she leaned over her knitting.

"You are only interested in one piece of meat on a man's body," Cerra commented as she picked up a bundle of thin orange yarn. The rest burst into laughter.

"Rumor is that he killed twenty of the Ancient soldiers bringing Jessmei back from Vanlourn. Then at the banquet he killed a dozen more that showed up to demand that the king bow before them," Levie said.

"No. Look at how skinny he is. He probably can't even lift his fork!" Yera said with a laugh.

"Let us hope the rumors are at least half-true, she'll need someone to protect her from the king when he finds out she is having lunch without Greykin's guards in attendance," Siliah said.

"What are you thinking about?" Jessmei pulled my attention back to her. I had been looking at the handmaidens past her but she probably believed I was looking at her.

"Sorry. I was studying you,“ I said, as I smiled at her. "Your hair looks beautiful, as does your dress. Thank you for inviting me to lunch. You have made a stressful day very pleasing." I hoped the compliments made her feel better.

"Oh. Well, I figured we hadn't talked so . . ." Her face reddened and she turned quickly back toward the brook. I could see her fight back a smile. It made her even prettier, if that was possible.

"What are you planning for lunch?" I asked before the tension between us grew any more.

"It is going to be delicious! Let's start the first course!" She waved into the shadows of the trees and I heard a pair of feet patter away. I guessed it was the servants going to fetch the food.

"Tell me about the young prince that escorted you at the banquet," I said, changing the subject to one I hoped would put her at ease.

"Rilc?” She waved her hand dismissively. “There is not much to tell, he is three winters younger than me and a pompous dullard. The king of Loorma wants us to be wed. I hope it does not come to that. I have a few more years before my father will decide whom I wed, and I have shared my opinion of Rilc with him. He loves me enough to take it under consideration, but in the end he will have to choose the union that will provide the best political alliance for Nia.”

"What does 'wed' mean?" I heard the servants approaching.

"It means joined or married," she said, her face slightly shocked. "I guess Paug hasn't taught you that word yet?"

"No. What does 'joined' or 'married' mean? He spoke of it during the banquet but I'd like you to tell me of it. Didn't you say something about us being joined at the inn when I asked you to be my lover?" I questioned as the servants put the dishes of the first course down in front of us. It was a variety of red and green vegetables with bits of bread, cheese, and yellowish cream spread on top. The servants filled up our water and then poured new glasses of bright yellow wine. I could smell its sweet aroma a few feet from the glass. It all looked and smelled delicious.

I realized that Jessmei and the servants’ hearts were beating extremely fast. I looked away from the food toward them. It was two women, they looked straight ahead into the trees, not at Jessmei or me. Sensing danger, I peered into the brush. I didn't hear or see anything. I looked back at Jessmei. Her face was white and her mouth hung open in horror as she looked at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing!" she blurted out. "I'll signal for the next course," she said curtly to the servants, they quickly moved back to their positions at the edge of the tree line. Jessmei picked up her fork and knife and put one of the pieces of culinary art on her plate. Then she carefully cut into it. She avoided eye contact with me as she sliced the morsel into tiny half-bite sizes. Her heart was still thundering in her chest.

A minute passed and I hadn't taken any food yet. She still looked at her plate, avoiding my eyes.

"Did I say something wrong? I don't understand what those words mean. Please forgive me." I had obviously done something to upset her.

"I can’t believe you just said that," she hissed under her breath. She put her fork and knife down and looked up at me. The frown made her beautiful nose upturn a bit.

"Sorry Jessmei. I really don't understand. If you prefer, I can ask Paug to explain marriage more in depth," I apologized again.

"No!" she blurted out again, then she looked to her entourage and back to me. "I'm not talking about your first question. I'm talking about when you asked me about the inn and us being lovers," she was whispering again.

"Yes. I didn't know how to ask you to be my lover then. But I thought I did a good job of indicating it with my hands. Then you mentioned something about joining. Is that the same thing as marriage?"

"You asked me that in front of the servants!" she gasped as she realized she had yelled it out. Her handmaidens looked over to us.

"Cerra! Can you play some music, please?" Jessmei said as she looked back over her shoulder. The woman nodded and walked over to a gathering of yarn and knitting tools. Hidden behind the pile was a small string instrument. Jessmei waited for her to go back to her seat and begin playing before she continued.

"The servants will spread a rumor that we are lovers. That is not good," Jessmei said. She did look very distressed.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to cause you displeasure," I said sincerely. I was still unsure as to why the women I had met all seemed so offended and scandalized by the mere mention of sex.

We sat for a few minutes in silence. She picked up my plate and put two helpings of the vegetables on it before setting it back in front of me.

"What's done is done," she sighed. "Please eat. It makes me happy to see you enjoy a meal."

I took a few bites and it was amazing. The vegetables were slightly spicy and I had to wash them down with a swallow of the sweet wine.

"There is one solution I have," I couldn't hide the smirk that was spreading across my face.

"Oh?" she said with an eyebrow raised. She put her fork down and dotted her mouth with the cloth napkin.

"It doesn't have to be a rumor."

She looked at me again in shock, her hand covering her mouth to hide her surprise.

"You are crazy!" she whispered to me. "My father would kill me, and he would set all of his soldiers on you!" she suddenly giggled and stuck her tongue out at me. "I bet you would like having all the soldiers chasing after you. I think you would still beat them." She smiled at me.

"Yes. That would be fun. There aren't any guards around are there?" I took another slow bite of the vegetables.

"No. How did you guess? I wanted some time with you, alone. Greykin has warmed up to you but he would never let us be like this." She smiled again. Her heart had slowed down after I had embarrassed her in front of her servants.

"Like what?"

"Sitting here, eating together, and talking." She brushed the hair back from her ear and looked back at her handmaidens.

"I have good hearing," I said with a smile. "Their favorite topic of conversation seems to involve you and me."

"Really?" she looked back at them quickly.

“Perhaps," I said to her with a wink. She frowned at me again. It was a playful frown.

She waved over the servants to clear the plate.

"Don't say anything naughty while they are within earshot,” she warned as they got closer. Within seconds the plates had been cleared and they disappeared.

“Why is this such a concern, what you do, even what people think you have done?”

She looked at me and cocked her head to the side. “You really don’t understand?”

I shook my head.

Jessmei absently played with the rim of her wine glass, rubbing the tip of her finger around the edge where her lips had been. “You know our kingdom is ruled by a monarchy?” I nodded. “The king rules until he dies, then his son takes over, and so on. It is the same in all of our neighboring kingdoms. The princes must continue to produce offspring--male offspring--in order to keep their family in power. Does that make sense?”

“And they can only produce offspring with other royalty?”

“Exactly. If I am . . .” she blushed and looked away, “doing something that would possibly create a child with someone else, my value as a future queen would be diminished. Diminished is putting it lightly.” She smirked. “By joining me with the prince of another kingdom, my father would create a strong alliance and a familial bond between our countries. If it is suspected that I have,” she paused, searching for the right word, “been intimate with another man prior to this joining, my husband, the future king, would have no assurance that our offspring was truly his child, and the proper heir to the throne. This could cause great political unrest, possibly even a war. Therefore, he cares very deeply about what I do, even just what people
think
I have done, as you said. Do you understand?”

“He cares because you are his daughter and he loves you. I am sure he wishes for your happiness.”

She looked away and smiled brightly, her eyes were tight. “Of course he loves me. It’s just the way things work.”

The servants came and delivered the next course as she finished talking. It was thinly packed patties of roasted meat that sat upon small platforms of wild black rice and peppers. I couldn't identify the meat, but it smelled amazing. After the servants left we began on the new course and it tasted better than I could have imagined. The meat was soft and melted into my tongue with a savory warmth that paired perfectly with the nutty flavor of the black rice and the spicy peppers. I tried to enjoy the taste slowly, but I was so hungry I quickly finished the first portion and was relieved to see they had given me three times the amount they had served Jessmei.