Authors: Leo Tolstoy
All went excellently. She bore her pregnancy easily and, though they were afraid, they both began making plans as to how they would bring the child up. The system of education and the arrangements were all decided by Yevgeny, and her only wish was to carry out his desires obediently. Yevgeny on his part read up medical works and intended to bring the child up according to all the precepts of science. She of course agreed to
everything and made preparations, making warm and also cool “envelopes,” and preparing a cradle. Thus the second year of their marriage arrived and the second spring.
It was just before Trinity Sunday. Liza was in her fifth month, and though careful she was still brisk and active. Both his mother and hers were living in the house, but under the pretext of watching and safeguarding her only upset her by their tiffs. Yevgeny was specially engrossed with a new experiment for the cultivation of sugar-beet on a large scale.
Just before Trinity Liza decided it was necessary to have a thorough house-cleaning as it had not been done since Easter, and she hired two women by the day to help the servants wash the floors and windows, beat the furniture and the carpets, and put covers on them. These women came early in the morning, heated the coppers, and set to work. One of the two was Stepanida, who had just weaned her baby boy and had begged for the job of washing the floors through the office-clerk—whom she now carried on with. She wanted to have a good look at the new mistress. Stepanida was living by herself as formerly, her husband being away, and she was up to tricks as she had formerly been first with old Danila (who had once caught her taking some logs of firewood), afterwards with the master, and now with the young clerk. She was not concerning herself any longer about her master. “He has a wife now,” she thought. But it would be good to have a look at the lady and at her establishment: folk said it was well arranged.
Yevgeny had not seen her since he had met her with the child. Having a baby to attend to she had not been
going out to work, and he seldom walked through the village. That morning, on the eve of Trinity Sunday, he got up at five o’clock and rode to the fallow land which was to be sprinkled with phosphates, and had left the house before the women were about, and while they were still engaged lighting the copper fires.
He returned to breakfast merry, contented, and hungry; dismounting from his mare at the gate and handing her over to the gardener. Flicking the high grass with his whip and repeating a phrase he had just uttered, as one often does, he walked towards the house. The phrase was: “phosphates justify”—what or to whom, he neither knew nor reflected.
They were beating a carpet on the grass. The furniture had been brought out.
“There now! What a house-cleaning Liza has undertaken!… Phosphates justify.… What a manageress she is! Yes, a manageress,” said he to himself, vividly imagining her in her white wrapper and with her smiling joyful face, as it nearly always was when he looked at her. “Yes, I must change my boots, or else ‘phosphates justify,’ that is, smell of manure, and the manageress in such a condition. Why ‘in such a condition’? Because a new little Irtenev is growing there inside her,” he thought. “Yes, phosphates justify,” and smiling at his thoughts he put his hand to the door of his room.
But he had not time to push the door before it opened of itself and he came face to face with a woman
coming towards him carrying a pail, barefoot and with sleeves turned up high. He stepped aside to let her pass and she too stepped aside, adjusting her kerchief with a wet hand.
“Go on, go on, I won’t go in, if you …” began Yevgeny and suddenly stopped, recognizing her.
She glanced merrily at him with smiling eyes, and pulling down her skirt went out the door.
“What nonsense!… It is impossible,” said Yevgeny to himself, frowning and waving his hand as though to get rid of a fly, displeased at having noticed her. He was vexed that he had noticed her and yet he could not take his eyes from her strong body, swayed by her agile strides, from her bare feet, or from her arms and shoulders, and the pleasing folds of her shirt and the handsome skirt tucked up high above her white calves.
“But why am I looking?” said he to himself, lowering his eyes so as not to see her. “And anyhow I must go in to get some other boots.” And he turned back to go into his own room, but had not gone five steps before he again glanced round to have another look at her without knowing why or wherefore. She was just going round the corner and also glanced at him.
“Ah, what am I doing!” said he to himself. “She may think … It is even certain that she already does think …”
He entered his damp room. Another woman, an old and skinny one, was there, and was still washing it. Yevgeny passed on tiptoe across the floor, wet with
dirty water, to the wall where his boots stood, and he was about to leave the room when the woman herself went out.
“This one has gone and the other, Stepanida, will come here alone,” someone within him began to reflect.
“My God, what am I thinking of and what am I doing!” He seized his boots and ran out with them into the hall, put them on there, brushed himself, and went out onto the veranda where both the mammas were already drinking coffee. Liza had evidently been expecting him and came onto the veranda through another door at the same time.
My God! If she, who considers me so honourable, pure, and innocent—if she only knew!
thought he.
Liza as usual met him with shining face. But today somehow she seemed to him particularly pale, yellow, long, and weak.
During coffee, as often happened, a peculiarly feminine kind of conversation went on which had no logical sequence but which evidently was connected in some way for it went on uninterruptedly.
The two old ladies were pin-pricking one another, and Liza was skillfully maneuvering between them.
“I am so vexed that we had not finished washing your room before you got back,” she said to her husband. “But I do so want to get everything arranged.”
“Well, did you sleep well after I got up?”
“Yes, I slept well and I feel well.”
“How can a woman be well in her condition during this intolerable heat, when her windows face the sun,” said Varvara Alexeevna, her mother. “And they have no venetian-blinds or awnings. I always had awnings.”
“But you know we are in the shade after ten o’clock,” said Marya Pavlovna.
“That’s what causes fever; it comes of dampness,” said Varvara Alexeevna, not noticing that what she was saying did not agree with what she had just said. “My doctor always says that it is impossible to diagnose an illness unless one knows the patient. And he certainly knows, for he is the leading physician and we pay him a hundred rubles a visit. My late husband did not believe in doctors, but he did not grudge me anything.”
“How can a man grudge anything to a woman when perhaps her life and the child’s depend …”
“Yes, when she has means a wife need not depend
on her husband. A good wife submits to her husband,” said Varvara Alexeevna, “only Liza is too weak after her illness.”
“Oh no, mamma, I feel quite well. But why have they not brought you any boiled cream?”
“I don’t want any. I can do with raw cream.”
“I offered some to Varvara Alexeevna, but she declined,” said Marya Pavlovna, as if justifying herself.
“No, I don’t want any today.” And as if to terminate an unpleasant conversation and yield magnanimously, Varvara Alexeevna turned to Yevgeny and said: “Well, and have you sprinkled the phosphates?”
Liza ran to fetch the cream.
“But I don’t want it. I don’t want it.”
“Liza, Liza, go gently,” said Marya Pavlovna. “Such rapid movements do her harm.”
“Nothing does harm if one’s mind is at peace,” said Varvara Alexeevna as if referring to something, though she knew that there was nothing her words could refer to.
Liza returned with the cream and Yevgeny drank his coffee and listened morosely. He was accustomed to these conversations, but today he was particularly annoyed by its lack of sense. He wanted to think over what had happened to him but this chatter disturbed him. Having finished her coffee Varvara Alexeevna went away in a bad humour. Liza, Yevgeny, and Marya Pavlovna stayed behind, and their conversation was
simple and pleasant. But Liza, being sensitive, at once noticed that something was tormenting Yevgeny, and she asked him whether anything unpleasant had happened. He was not prepared for this question and hesitated a little before replying that there had been nothing. This reply made Liza think all the more. That something was tormenting him, and greatly tormenting, was as evident to her as that a fly had fallen into the milk, yet he would not speak of it. What could it be?
After breakfast they all dispersed. Yevgeny as usual went to his study, but instead of beginning to read or write his letters, he sat smoking one cigarette after another and thinking. He was terribly surprised and disturbed by the unexpected recrudescence within him of the bad feeling from which he had thought himself free since his marriage. Since then he had not once experienced that feeling, either for her—the woman he had known—or for any other woman except his wife. He had often felt glad of this emancipation, and now suddenly a chance meeting, seemingly so unimportant, revealed to him the fact that he was not free. What now tormented him was not that he was yielding to that feeling and desired her—he did not dream of so doing—but that the feeling was awake within him and he had to be on his guard against it. He had no doubt but that he would suppress it.
He had a letter to answer and a paper to write, and sat down at his writing table and began to work. Having finished it and quite forgotten what had disturbed him, he went out to go to the stables. And again as ill-luck would have it, either by unfortunate chance or intentionally, as soon as he stepped from the porch a red skirt and a red kerchief appeared from round the corner, and she went past him swinging her arms and swaying her body. She not only went past him, but on passing him ran, as if playfully, to overtake her fellow-servant.
Again the bright midday, the nettles, the back of Danila’s hut, and in the shade of the plant-trees her
smiling face biting some leaves, rose in his imagination.
“No, it is impossible to let matters continue so,” he said to himself, and waiting till the women had passed out of sight he went to the office.
It was just the dinner-hour and he hoped to find the steward still there, and so it happened. The steward was just waking up from his after-dinner nap, and stretching himself and yawning was standing in the office, looking at the herdsman who was telling him something.
“Vasily Nikolaevich!” said Yevgeny to the steward.
“What is your pleasure?”
“Just finish what you are saying.”
“Aren’t you going to bring it in?” said Vasily Nikolaevich to the herdsman.
“It’s heavy, Vasily Nikolaevich.”
“What is it?” asked Yevgeny.
“Why, a cow has calved in the meadow. Well, all right, I’ll order them to harness a horse at once. Tell Nikolay Lysukh to get out the dray cart.”
The herdsman went out.
“Do you know,” began Yevgeny, flushing and conscious that he was doing so, “do you know, Vasily Nikolaevich, while I was a bachelor I went off the track a bit.… You may have heard …”
Vasily Nikolaevich, evidently sorry for his master, said with smiling eyes: “Is it about Stepanida?”
“Why, yes. Look here. Please, please do not engage
her to help in the house. You understand, it is very awkward for me …”
“Yes, it must have been Vanya the clerk who arranged it.”
“Yes, please … and hadn’t the rest of the phosphate better be strewn?” said Yevgeny, to hide his confusion.
“Yes, I am just going to see to it.”
So the matter ended, and Yevgeny calmed down, hoping that as he had lived for a year without seeing her, so things would go on now. “Besides, Vasily Nikolaevich will speak to Ivan the clerk; Ivan will speak to her, and she will understand that I don’t want it,” said Yevgeny to himself, and he was glad he had forced himself to speak to Vasily Nikolaevich, hard as it had been to do so.
“Yes, it is better, much better, than that feeling of doubt, that feeling of shame.” He shuddered at the mere remembrance of his sin in thought.
The moral effort he had made to overcome his shame and speak to Vasily Nikolaevich tranquillized Yevgeny. It seemed to him that the matter was all over now. Liza at once noticed that he was quite calm, and even happier than usual. “No doubt he was upset by our mothers pin-pricking one another. It really is disagreeable, especially for him who is so sensitive and noble, always to hear such unfriendly and ill-mannered insinuations,” thought she.
The next day was Trinity Sunday. It was a beautiful day, and the peasant-women, on their way into the woods to plait wreaths, came, according to custom, to the landowner’s home and began to sing and dance. Marya Pavlovna and Varvara Alexeevna came out onto the porch in smart clothes, carrying sunshades, and went up to the ring of singers. With them, in a jacket of Chinese silk, came out the uncle, a flabby libertine and drunkard, who was living that summer with Yevgeny.
As usual there was a bright, many-coloured ring of young women and girls, the centre of everything, and around these from different sides like attendant planets that had detached themselves and were circling round, went girls hand in hand, rustling in their new print gowns; young lads giggling and running backwards and forwards after one another; full-grown lads in dark blue or black coats and caps and with red shirts, who unceasingly spat out sunflower-seed shells; and the domestic servants or other outsiders watching the dance-circle
from aside. Both the old ladies went close up to the ring, and Liza accompanied them in a light blue dress, with light blue ribbons on her head, and with wide sleeves under which her long white arms and angular elbows were visible.
Yevgeny did not wish to come out, but it was ridiculous to hide, and he too came out onto the porch smoking a cigarette, bowed to the men and lads, and talked with one of them. The women meanwhile shouted a dance-song with all their might, snapping their fingers, clapping their hands, and dancing.