The Do Over (52 page)

"Baby, let's just forget I pushed this. Please let's go, like you said. Macy and Candace will tell you everything at home," Liam said.

He wanted me to go home with my friends and not with him. I didn't know what I was expecting from Liam. God, I broke his heart, yet I assumed that he'd want to work things out. Instead, I felt the sting of rejection.

"No, I want to know now. Rick, just tell me the truth," I said. I straightened my shoulders, getting myself ready to receive the news.

"Daniela, everything I told you before was true," he said. He shifted his eyes, letting me know there was more to the story. "What I didn't tell you, and I hoped you would never know, was that I saw you at Breathe that night. That was the same night I first met Lucas. I wanted you back, Daniela. I wanted the life we had, and I felt like shit for how I treated you. I needed to make things right between us."

"I didn't see you there," I said, shocked at this admission.

"No, you didn't, but I saw you. Lucas and I were watching you the whole night. I was going to go up to you, but then I saw you leave with him. I had to find you. You were right. I couldn't leave you alone. The only thing I regret more than what I've done to you now is what I did to you then."

"Wait, are you telling me that you're friends with Liam? How could that be? I've met his friends, and he's never mentioned you. What's going on here?"

Liam spoke up. "He's Chris's friend. He started playing basketball with us. I never liked him, and now, I know why." He glared at Rick.

If looks could kill…

"Why didn't you tell me he was your friend? You know how upset I got when I first saw him. I told you the story of our breakup and how hurt I was. Was this a game the two of you played to see who I would pick?" I asked, accusing Liam of being part of a conspiracy against me. "After all, the two of you were staring at me at the club. Was this some type of competition? He keeps saying that you won. Was I the prize? Oh my god. I can't believe you. I thought you loved me."

"Baby, I swear to you that I didn't know who he was. You never mentioned his name. I didn't know until this morning when Macy started rambling. When I found out, I wanted to kill him. He did this to us. He lied to you and to me." He came closer to me and held my face in his hands, like he'd done so many times before. "Baby, I love you. You have to believe me. I would never lie to you."

His hands moved down to rest on my arms. He turned and looked at Rick. "You're such an asshole. Why would you do this to us?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"Daniela, please. You're coming to the wrong conclusion. Lucas didn't know anything. I found out where you were going to be because Chris made an innocent comment, and I used that information to my benefit. I knew you would be here, so I made up the story about running into you," Rick said.

My legs buckled at this admission. Liam steadied me and kept me from falling. I looked over at Rick. I thought I was going to pass out. Maybe I was going into shock.

I asked Rick, "Is there anything more?"

"Daniela, isn't this enough?" he asked.

I shook my head because this was the Rick I knew. I thought I was going to be sick.

Liam looked over at me. "Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?"

I started replaying everything from the first time I ran into Rick all the way through our good-bye. I shook my head, disgusted.

I turned to Rick. "No, it's not enough if it's not everything."

I needed to know everything. Fueled with rage, my mind cleared, allowing another variable I had discounted to surface—Yoga classes, wheatgrass, and mind fucks—Rick was the cock-blocking inconvenience.

"Madison was part of this, too," I huffed. "What else haven't you told me?"

"Leave her out of this," he said, shaking his head.

"Why? You're the one that brought her into this with all her bullshit. Did you tell her to say all those horrible things to me? Tell me everything."

"Fuck my fucking life. Daniela, what more do you want to know?" Rick asked, seeming exhausted. "How much more of this goddamn shit do you need?"

I smiled and started to walk toward him. "There you are. I was wondering when I was going to see you. All this time, I thought you were the man I hoped you'd become. Now, I see that you are the same old Rick I knew so well. You're still the same one that broke my heart and didn't bat an eyelash. Yes, I know you really well. You're the Rick who gets everything handed to him on a silver platter, who experiences no consequences, and who uses people to his delight. How have you been? It's been a while."

"Daniela, I know you're pissed off, and you have every right to be. But it's not black and white. It's like that book I'm sure you read—some shades of grey or something," Rick said, staring me straight in the eye.

I knew he was trying to dig himself out of the hole.

"Oh no, you didn't just compare yourself to Christian Grey. Oh my dear, you are no Christian Grey. I suppose though that I could say that you're fifty shades of fucked-up, but here, between us, this is very black and white. I asked you to leave me alone. I told you I had a boyfriend. You effing knew him. Just a few minutes ago, I was going on about the type of man he is when you knew full well. You knew all of this, but you didn't give a shit about me or think about what this would do to me," I said.

With my entire five-foot-four frame, I shoved his chest. If this was his attempt to bring in a book reference to work in his favor, it was an epic fail.

"Daniela, you don't have to be so harsh. It's not so simple. Why can't you see that? Yes, I'm an asshole. I'm sure Wikipedia has a picture of me next to the definition. I'm a motherfucking asshole. You're so right about that. I'm a selfish bastard. But I loved you in my own way, and I thought that I was making things right for us. When I told you that I wanted to be the man you thought I was, I wasn't lying to you. Fuck, I want to be that man, but I'm not him. I wish I were.

"Fuck, I came here today to put an end to all of this. I was finally doing the fucking right thing. So, please excuse me for not having your moral standards. I regretted losing you, and I wanted you back. I did things I knew you wouldn't like. I hurt people in the process. I hurt you. You have no idea how horrible I feel right now.

"You were the good thing in my life that I let go. I wanted a second chance with you. I'm sure you understand right now the value of a second chance. I fucked up. I went about it wrong. I should've left you alone when you told me to go that first day. If I could do it all over again, I would've done the right thing," he said.

He looked at me intently for what I could only assume was his attempt at making me see the sincerity in his lying eyes.

Then, it happened. I wasn't prone to violence, but without a thought, my hand flew across his face, hard and fast.

Without even registering what I'd done and before the sting could set in, I yelled, "How dare you justify lying, manipulating, and destroying my life because you wanted me! What about what I wanted?"

I started shoving him. The jerking motion was so strong that my hair slipped out of my clip. Rage permeated every cell of my body.

"You have destroyed everything that mattered to me. I hate you. If I never see you again, it'll be too soon. I'm so stupid. I can't believe I thought you changed. You're the same asshole that you always were. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you," I said, shoving him harder.

He looked at me with sad eyes. "I fucked up, Daniela. I'm sorry," Rick said with desperation in his voice. Closing his eyes, he looked away. "I'm really trying to do the right thing now."

I had lost everything. I figured that if I lost my mind as well, it would just be par for the course. "You're sorry? Sorry doesn't make this better. Sorry doesn't make the guilt I feel go away. It doesn't make the pain I caused him disappear!" I yelled through my tears as I pointed at Liam. "And it doesn't make me feel any better. You'll leave here and go on with your life. And me? You took everything. It took me all this time to finally open up to someone who actually loved me. This isn't kickball. I can't call a do-over because you're fucking sorry." I pounded my fists into his chest.

"Come on, baby, let's go home." Liam's arms came around me as he pulled me off of Rick.

"Daniela, I'm so sorry. I really am trying. I'm sorry," Rick said, running his hands through his hair.

"You know what? You've taken everything from me, but I'll give you this, not that you deserve it. The Rick I knew would never be sorry, and sure as hell, he wouldn't be trying. Maybe there's hope for you yet, Rick," I said, walking away.

This whole confrontation was surreal. When I'd gotten here, I'd wanted to rip off Rick's head and throw it like a football. Now, I just wanted to take Dani in my arms and make all this hurt go away.
Fuck.
I hated what that asshole did to us.

As we started walking away, reality suddenly dawned on me. I could feel my body tense as my eyes iced over. Dani and I had broken up last night. She'd walked out on us, on me, because she'd needed time to figure things out with that asshole. Just thinking about that was like picking at a raw wound and then dumping alcohol on it.

"Dani, where's your car? I'll drive you home," Macy said sympathetically.

Dani looked like a zombie. She was definitely in no condition to drive.
Shit, she shouldn't be alone right now.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I loved her so fucking much, and it was killing me to see her broken.
How the hell do I fix this?

She started looking for her keys. For the life of me, I never understood why women had such big purses. Under good circumstances, she could never find anything in there. When she looked like she was about to hurl her purse across the parking lot, Candace came over and took the damned thing out of her hands.

Dani looked over at me, and our eyes locked. I thought I smiled. I didn't really know. I wasn't feeling happy.
Fuck.
I was crushed. As I looked at her with her big sad eyes, I knew I couldn't stop loving her. While she walked over to me, I swore I thought my heart was going to explode in my chest. When she just buried herself in my chest, I swallowed hard, and I wrapped my arms around her. I nuzzled my face in her neck, losing myself in her sweet scent. I straightened up and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Let me take you home," I whispered.

She nodded and hugged me tighter. I had to pull it together, or I would start crying like a little girl.

I called over to Macy. "Hey, Mace, I'm going to take Dani home. Can you take her car?"

"Sure, if that's cool with Dani," Macy said as Candace handed her the car keys.

Candace came over to wipe the tears away from Dani's face. "Hon, we'll be over soon."

Taking her hand, we walked together to my car. I opened the door for her before I walked around and climbed in. After I pulled out, I reached for her hand and started to draw circles on it. Without a doubt, my love for her was all-consuming. Right now, it felt like it was killing me.

The drive was quiet. I knew her little mind was going a mile a minute. Dani had an incredible imagination. She had the ability to create scenarios in her head that were far more colorful than what was actually happening. On this drive though, I didn't think that she would be too far off target. I'd usually try to coax her out of it. I'd want her to talk. This time, I couldn't. I didn't have it in me. I just kept picturing her, sitting near the fountain, wearing that motherfucker's jacket. I kept replaying last night in my head. I didn't fucking know how to make this right because it hurt so goddamn much. I was jarred from my thoughts.

Suddenly, Dani said, "I don't want to go home."

"Where do you want to go?" I asked, looking over at her. I wanted to run away with her and go where there weren't any reminders of any of this crap.

"I don't care as long as I'm with you, and it's not my house," she whispered.

I knew my girl, and I knew exactly what she wanted. I smiled over at her. "Dani, you're tired. It's been an emotional morning. I need to take you home."

"Then, take me to your home," she said, speaking more intently with a hint of desperation in her voice.

I knew she wanted me to reassure her and tell her that everything was going to be fine between us. I'd never lied to her, and I wasn't about to start now. I knew Rick had said that she was mine and that she loved me. I knew that asshole had trouble winning his ex while I'd handed her over to him with a freaking bow.
Why couldn't she just love me more?

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said, looking straight ahead at the road.

"Macy has my keys. I won't be able to open the door," she said, tightening her grip on my hand.

"Fortunately for you, I still have my set of keys," I said with a tinge of sarcasm. I was still hurting from her having left the key to my place on the counter. I had to stop this because I didn't want to be bitter with her.

I turned on the radio to drown out the deafening silence. When I pulled into her driveway, we sat quietly for what felt like an eternity, but it was more like a few seconds. Then, I got out and opened the door for her.