“Yeah. He wasn’t there,” Kasen answered, “but I found some pictures of you that tell a very different story than what you’ve been telling me.”
“What are you talking about?” Voncile asked.
“Naked pictures at Omar’s crib. You were telling me he was coming on too strong and you had no interest in him, and then I find the pictures. What the hell, Voncile? Were you fucking him?”
Voncile appeared to be nervous. She looked down at the ground for a minute then shifted her eyes back to Kasen. They were wet with tears.
“Tell me the truth,” he said. “If you fucked him, you fucked him. I don’t know why you lied to me about it from the start, but it does kind of explain his actions. What guy wouldn’t be jealous when you’re fucking him and then you turn around and fuck his friend?” He stopped short of blaming her for the breakup of his friendship with Omar, but now he understood that Omar must have been so hurt when he found out Kasen had sex with Voncile. Kasen never would have done it if he’d known about their relationship. Her deceitfulness had done a lot of damage, and now Kasen didn’t know which way to turn. Could anything be fixed?
She sighed and launched into her explanation. “Yes, Omar and I used to be involved. I never wanted you to know because I was ashamed of being with a man like him. Your friend was abusive, and I tried my best to end it with him. It wasn’t as if we were ever in a relationship. All he ever wanted from me was sex, and vice versa. We hooked up a few times right after I met him at your office. It was one big mistake, and I regret giving myself to him.”
Kasen was still upset that she had lied, but her story about being abused by Omar could definitely be true. Jansen had just reminded him earlier about how Omar had hurt that girl back in college, plus Omar had attacked Voncile this past week. His friend definitely had that violent tendency in him. Kasen didn’t really like the way Voncile had handled the situation, telling lies like she did, but part of him understood why she chose to do it.
Voncile stepped forward, pressing her body against Kasen’s. She touched the side of his face as she looked into his eyes. “I’m so sorry for not telling you, but I didn’t want you to think less of me for being involved with someone like him. I hope we can put this behind us. Please don’t be upset with me, Kasen. I just made a bad choice, that’s all.”
Kasen pushed her back gently to put some distance between them. “Look, Voncile, I don’t know what to think about any of this right now. My head is fucked up from everything that’s been going on lately, and finding those pictures has me even more on edge. I don’t know why any of this is happening to me, but I need to step back and figure it all out. Let me go get my friend and get out of here, because I just don’t think I can deal with you right now.”
He started to walk away from her, until she screamed out his name.
“Kasen, stop!”
He turned around, feeling agitated but somehow unable to remove himself from the situation. She was such a needy person, and the therapist in him could never resist a woman in need of help.
“What, Voncile?”
“I can’t believe you’re this upset with me,” she said. “Please don’t be mad. Can’t you see how much I really love you and want to be with you?”
Once he heard the word “love,” he knew it was time to put some distance between them. They clearly had different views on what this little sexual fling meant. For him, it wasn’t love; that was for sure. “I’ll see you at the office on Monday, Voncile,” he told her then went to find Jansen.
Later that night, he lay in bed, replaying the night’s events in his head. Voncile had gone from being the victim of an attempted rape to a vixen in the club all in the course of a few days. Which one was the real Voncile? And why had he been so easily pulled in by her deceptive tactics? He was a therapist, trained to read people’s feelings, yet he’d been blinded to her games. Raine’s abandonment must have had him more messed up than he had realized—messed up enough to fall for anything as long as he was getting some good pussy. He made up his mind to keep his eyes wide open when it came to Voncile from this point on.
Chapter 17
Monday in the office was extremely tense between Voncile and Kasen. They barely said two words to each other, and Kasen kept to himself, staying inside his office with the door shut even when there was no patient in there. The atmosphere was totally uncomfortable, and Kasen was beating himself up for being stupid enough to get involved with an employee in the first place. She was a great asset to his business, but now he didn’t know if he’d be able to keep her. At the same time, he couldn’t fire her, because then she might claim sexual harassment. He had put himself in a terribly awkward position, and he had no one but himself to blame for his weakness. If he could turn back time, he never would have had sex with her the first time. Instead, all he could do would be to end the affair as gently as possible to avoid any major conflicts that would disrupt his practice—or possibly even destroy it.
Kasen was grateful whenever a patient came to the office that day, because listening to their problems helped take his mind off his own for a while. It felt especially great when Myra Carter, his last patient of the day, let him know how helpful his advice was to her. It was the kind of validation he needed to hear after doubting his judgment all day.
“You are so on point, Doc,” Myra said. Her gambling addiction had gotten out of control, and Kasen had given her a list of things to do to take her mind off money. “I will try your suggestions, and I finally feel hopeful that I can beat this addiction.”
Kasen stood up to shake her hand. “That’s what I like to hear. I look forward to hearing about your progress at our next appointment.”
“Oh, me too. I can’t wait to be free of this burden,” she said, putting her purse on her shoulder and standing up to leave. “Thank you again, Doc. And before I go, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
“Well, I suppose,” Kasen said. He usually didn’t share personal information with patients, but he was feeling so good after her compliments that he decided to make an exception this time. “As long as I have the option to not answer,” he joked.
She laughed. “No, it’s nothing bad. It’s just that I noticed you’re not wearing a ring, and if you’re not married, I thought maybe you’d like to meet my niece, Frances. She’s intelligent, she’s beautiful, and I think the two of you would make a fantastic couple. It’s not easy to find a good man like you these days, you know.”
Kasen gave her a charming smile. “Well, I am flattered, but I don’t think that would be a good idea. I’m not married, but I am involved in something kind of complicated right now. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be very good company, and I’m sure your niece deserves someone who can give her his undivided attention.”
“Okay, but you’re missing out. I may just send Frances up here to meet you anyway. If you see her, you might change your mind,” she said with a mischievous wink.
Kasen shook his head. “You are persistent; I’ll give you that,” he joked as he walked Myra to the door.
As they stepped into the waiting room, he saw Voncile at her desk, slumped over, with her head on the desk as if she were sleeping.
Myra turned and gave Kasen a puzzled look. “Is she okay?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about Voncile. She probably just had a late night,” he answered, trying to sound nonchalant, as if it was totally normal for someone to be knocked out in the middle of the day at work.
He rushed Myra onto the elevator and said good-bye, then headed back to Voncile’s desk, shaking her shoulder.
Voncile stirred, raising her head from the desk. Her eyes were red, and the papers she’d been resting on were wet. It became obvious that she hadn’t been sleeping; she’d been crying.
Kasen pulled up a chair and sat across from her desk. “Voncile, we need to talk and clear the air. This can’t be happening at the office.”
She dabbed her eyes with a tissue then wiped her nose. “I know, but I just can’t help it, Kasen. I can tell that you don’t want me around anymore. You’ve barely said one word to me today.”
Kasen reached out to touch her hand. He knew he needed to let her down gently, because he could tell this was going to be hard for Voncile.
“It’s not that I don’t want you around. I love having you around, and my patients love you too. It’s just that . . . we made a mistake by becoming physical. I am not proud of the way I acted at the club, and I definitely don’t like to see you crying. I never want to be the source of your pain, so I think it would be best if we end our involvement and try to go back to the way we were before—you know, doctor and secretary, strictly professional.”
Voncile’s expression hardened, and her tears dried up in an instant. “Well, it’s too late for us to have regrets now. Definitely too late.” She reached for her purse and pulled out the pregnancy test, holding it out to Kasen.
He looked down at it, refusing to take it from her. “Is that what I think it is?” he asked.
She placed the stick on the desk so the double plus signs were clearly visible to Kasen. “I’m pregnant,” she said.
Kasen felt like he had been punched in the gut. This was the absolute worst news she could have given him when he was trying to backtrack and get out of this toxic relationship. How the hell had he been stupid enough to not use a condom? He had been so caught up in the moment with Voncile and so torn up by Raine leaving him that he hadn’t been thinking straight. Now he might be stuck in a big way.
“Are you sure it’s mine?” The words slipped off his tongue before he could stop himself. He knew they were offensive to Voncile, but just like their relationship, he couldn’t take it back now.
Voncile narrowed her eyes and spoke in an angry hiss. “How dare you, Kasen. I am not a whore. You are the one and only man I am sleeping with.”
“But the pictures—”
“Oh, shut up about those fucking pictures! They were taken a long time ago, and I already told you, I know that my involvement with Omar was a mistake,” she said.
Just like my involvement with you was a mistake,
Kasen thought.
“Look, Voncile,” he said, “I’m not trying to run away from my responsibility. We can go to the bank right now and I’ll give the cash to go get an abortion. I’ll even make the appointment for you if you want.”
Voncile’s face twisted into an ugly, angry mask. She jumped up from the chair and snatched her purse from the back of her chair. “Abortion my ass!” she shouted. “I don’t believe in killing babies. To hell with you, Kasen. We don’t need you, and you can kiss my ass!”
Voncile stormed out of the office, leaving Kasen shaking his head, feeling as if he were standing in the wreckage of a tornado. How the hell had his life gotten to this point? More importantly, how he was going to get out of this mess? No matter what she had said, he still didn’t completely believe the baby was his. He would certainly want a paternity test, but Voncile was so volatile and unpredictable that he would have to be careful how he approached this situation going forward.
Chapter 18
That night, Voncile was out of control. She looked like a madwoman as she paced the kitchen floor with scissors in her hand. Pictures of Kasen were scattered on the counter, many cut into tiny pieces. After the way he reacted to the pregnancy test, she had totally lost it. That test was supposed to guarantee that they would be together, but he turned around and started talking about abortion.
“Fucking bastard!” she shouted, pounding the counter so hard the whole kitchen shook. “How”—
bam!
—“can”—
bam!
—“you not”—
bam!
—“want your own child?”
Bam, bam, bam!
She sliced through the air with the scissors, screaming loudly to release some of her rage. She had been taking such good care of Raine, and by all means, she was going to have that baby. Kasen was going to take care of it too. No way in hell was he going to walk away from her. She had to think of a new plan fast.
The ringing of the doorbell stopped her ranting and raving for a minute. Picking up the trash can, she swiped all of the destroyed pictures into the trash, then hastily wiped the tears off her face. Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she made her way to the door.
“Who is it?” she asked softly.
“It’s me, Voncile. Kasen.”
She felt her heart rate racing. Taking a few more deep breaths to try to prevent herself from hyperventilating, she finally opened the door.
“You really shouldn’t be here, especially if all you came here to do is give me money for an abortion,” she said, proud of herself for not breaking down in tears at the sight of Kasen.
“I didn’t come here to do that.”
She stared at him, waiting for more of an explanation.
“Well, can I come in?” he asked.
“I’ll come outside and talk to you.” She hadn’t been prepared for him to come by, and she hated for anyone to be in her house if it wasn’t spotless.
She stepped outside and sat down on the steps with Kasen.
“I came to apologize for what I said,” he started. “You caught me off guard, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, but I was speaking out of fear. I was not planning on becoming a father, so it scared me.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on becoming a mother either,” Voncile said.
“I know,” Kasen replied, “and that’s why I need to apologize. My reaction wasn’t fair to you. If you don’t want an abortion, then I won’t force you to get one.”
Voncile felt like singing. “So we’re going to do this parenting thing, then? I knew you’d come to your senses. We are supposed to be together.”
Kasen looked at her with discomfort written on his face. “Hold up, Voncile. I’m not saying we’re going to be together. I’m saying that if you want to have this baby and it’s mine, then I will take responsibility and help you raise the child.”
Voncile wiped away the tears that started rolling down her cheeks.
Calm down, girl. Do not let him see you get emotional. Play it cool,
she told herself.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Kasen continued, “but like I told you before, I just can’t do this relationship stuff right now. I didn’t tell you everything about what happened with Raine, but I’m still bitter about what she did to me, and I need some time to figure out what went wrong before I can enter another relationship. I will support you all the way with this baby, but I can’t give you anything more.”
“I understand,” Voncile lied. Hell no, she didn’t understand. How could he not want to be with her? They were perfect for each other.
“I’m glad you understand. And again, I’m really sorry for the way I acted earlier. Whatever you need just let me know. And if you want me to go to your appointments with you, I’ll make arrangements to be there.”
“Thanks,” she said in a sarcastic tone, “but I don’t want you by my side at the appointments if we’re not even a couple.”
Suddenly, Voncile couldn’t help herself. She knew she was supposed to be playing the understanding, submissive woman, but she felt the need to speak her mind.
“As a matter of fact, I don’t even know if I will be able to sit in that office every day knowing that I’m pregnant with your child yet you don’t want to be with me. Maybe I should start looking for another job,” she said. In truth, she didn’t want to stop working with Kasen, but she realized that at some point when her stomach didn’t start growing, her pregnancy story wouldn’t hold up. It would be easier to hide that from him if she wasn’t at the office every day.
As if on cue, her tears started again. She was hoping they would gain her some sympathy from Kasen, but instead, he looked even more uncomfortable as he stood up to leave.
He held out his arms as if he wanted to give her a hug. She hesitated for a minute, but then couldn’t resist the desire to feel his arms wrapped around her. She stood up and leaned into his embrace.
“Listen, I know this is not the ideal situation for your first pregnancy, but let’s focus on the good things. Number one, we’re having a child, and that’s a lot to be thankful for. Two, you still have a job if you want it. I’ll leave that choice up to you, but please don’t let this situation affect your career. And three, we’re still good friends. We’re going to be awesome parents, and us getting along is going to be crucial for our child. Let’s kick this off on a good foot and do the right thing.” He kissed the top of her head the way a big brother or a father would. It certainly wasn’t the kind of kiss Voncile longed for.
She tilted her head up and stared into his eyes, hoping he’d get the hint and lean in for a passionate French kiss. He didn’t. Instead, he stepped back out of their embrace.
“I’m taking a few days off of work to think about what I need to do to prepare for our child,” she said. “If you need me for anything, you can call me.” This was her last ditch effort to get him to change his mind. If she was gone for a few days, he would miss her so much that he’d be begging her to come back. Then she would have the leverage she needed to get their relationship back on track. And just in case that didn’t work, she could always call on her friend Patrice for some help.
Kasen gave her a peck on the cheek. “Get some rest. We’ll talk soon.”
Oh, I’m going to make sure we’re doing much more than just talking soon,
Voncile thought as she watched him get in his car and drive off.