The Doctors' Baby (9 page)

‘I don't see myself working beside you like that,' he told her.

‘I don't see you working beside me at all,' she said, in a voice that was way firmer than she felt. ‘It's
my
paperwork.'

‘We're partners.'

‘You don't know anything about my patients.'

‘I can do medico-legal work with my hands tied,' he told her. He gestured to the computer. ‘I have the lawyers' letters. Courtesy of your computer, I have your patient notes. We have my laptop. We can look up your notes,
you can decide what we can say and I can edit it and type it as we go. Now—any arguments?'

None at all, Em thought, and looked at the mound of solicitors' letters. This pile had been building up to insurmountable levels. It seemed that for every second patient she saw there was an insurance claim or motor-accident form to complete.

And the thought of sharing it was tantalising.

‘Just shower, though.' Jonas's voice was gruff. ‘I'm not sitting beside you like that, or I won't answer for the consequences.'

And neither would she. She looked down at her bare toes, she looked across at Jonas's laughing face—and she fled.

Because she didn't trust herself in the least. Not one bit!

 

There was a problem.

Her hair.

Em normally washed her hair once a week. It was a thick, woven mane, it took hours to dry and she had to unbraid it to wash it.

She didn't want to wash it now.

But it was full of sand and salt and, she suspected, the odd bit of baby food where Robby had grabbed it with glee.

‘I should cut it off,' she told the mirror crossly. ‘It's stupid vanity to wear it like this.'

But her grandpa had loved it, and so had Charlie.

And so did she.

‘So wash it and blow-dry it,' she suggested to herself.

‘That'll take an hour and Jonas is waiting. He's doing
your
work.'

So she did what she had to do. She unbraided her hair,
she washed it and combed it through, then slipped into her gnome-pyjamas and made her way back to the living room with her hair unbraided.

Jonas was on his feet before she was two feet into the door. He stared—and then he whistled, causing Em to blush from the toes up.

‘There's no need for you to whistle,' she snapped. ‘I'm still gnome-like. I'm just hairier.'

‘I like hairy gnomes,' he told her, and his eyes told her that he spoke the truth. He did indeed like hairy gnomes. Very much indeed!

She flicked the hair away from her shoulders, an action which was nearly his undoing. Wow! But her voice was matter-of-fact and businesslike. ‘Come on. If you insist on doing this, let's start.'

‘Your hair is still dripping.'

‘Let it drip!'

‘Let me towel it for you.'

‘Jonas Lunn, if you so much as come within two feet of me, I'll scream and run,' she told him crossly, and his green eyes twinkled with mischief.

‘What, scared of me, Dr Mainwaring?'

‘Yes,' she said honestly.

His smile faded. ‘There's no need to be.'

‘On the contrary, there's every need to be. You're messing with my equilibrium, and I sometimes think that my equilibrium is all I have to keep me sane. So let's cut out the personal stuff and get on with my letters.'

‘Yes, ma'am.'

And that was that.

Somehow he had to ignore the fact that he was sitting by the most desirable woman he'd ever met in his life and get on with work.

Some time soon she'd unbraid her hair just for him,
he thought—and wondered how the heck he could achieve it.

 

Somehow, the distraction of Em's hair aside, they did it. They worked for two hours straight, setting up a rhythm that had Em's pile descending at a rate she wouldn't have thought possible. Every time she demurred and told Jonas to go to bed, he told her kindly where to get off and lifted another letter from the pile.

She shouldn't let him. But he could sleep in tomorrow, she told herself, and the idea of finishing this paperwork was irresistible.

And then Robby woke.

He was a restless baby. His healing skin itched, and if he turned in his sleep sometimes he hurt himself and woke with a little cry. He wasn't a cry-baby, though. He'd wake, sob a little to himself, and then just lie in his cot and wait for things to get better.

It was as if he knew he didn't have a mother to hold him close, so it was no use making a fuss, and Em couldn't bear it. She was up and in to find him before his second murmur, carrying him back to where Jonas sat working.

‘What's the problem?' Jonas pushed his papers away. They really had done enough, and he was ready for bed.

‘I don't know.' Em cradled the little boy to her, and her gorgeous hair swung across her back in a shimmering mass. ‘I wish he could tell me, but you can't, can you, sweetie? He's wet, but that doesn't usually wake him. Still, now he's up…' She laid him on the settee and set about changing him, then cradled him to her again and turned to find Jonas watching.

‘I wish you wouldn't do that,' she complained, and he blinked.

‘Wouldn't do what?'

‘Stare. Robby and I aren't tourist attractions.'

‘You should be. You're gorgeous,' he said bluntly, and it was all she could do not to throw a cushion at him. Honestly, the man had the capacity to knock her sideways.

She fought for composure, and found it finally as Robby snuggled into her.

‘No,' she said, and there was a trace of emotion in her voice. ‘It's Robby who's gorgeous. Not me. Do you want to hold him?' And before he could refuse she'd popped the baby on his knees and was heading for the kitchen. ‘I need a hot chocolate, and I dare say you could do with one, too. And I'll make another bottle to settle Robby again. Take care of Robby while I make them.'

But it was an excuse for her to get away from him, if only for a moment. For her to find her equilibrium again. Somehow.

Jonas was so dispassionate, she thought as she prepared the mugs of chocolate and Robby's bottle. He'd help Anna and then he'd head back out of his sister's life. And she knew that, given half a chance, he'd make love to her, and then he'd leave without a backward glance.

It wasn't enough, she thought. He needed to see that there was more to life…

That there was more to loving than being needed. It was needing in return.

And Jonas Lunn didn't need anyone!

If only he could see what he was missing out on!

When she returned to the sitting room, some of the work had been done. Robby was lying on Jonas's knees. The baby was chortling up at him with his own brand of baby humour, laughing at some joke only an eight-month-old baby could understand, and Jonas looked like a man who'd been struck by lightning.

He glanced up at her as she returned, and somehow he forced his face back under control, but Em could see that Robby had spread some of his indefinable charm.

‘He's…he's quite a baby,' Jonas said, and if his voice was a trifle unsteady, Em could pretend she hadn't heard.

‘He is at that.'

‘Why did you say his aunt doesn't want him?'

‘She has three of her own.'

‘It wouldn't stop me,' Jonas said, and his voice was suddenly so fierce that Em blinked. ‘I mean…if he was my sister's kid.'

‘Of course,' Em said kindly, but she looked at him and wondered whether he really meant it. She glanced down again at Robby. Robby was crooning his own happy little song, and his tiny hands were folded in Jonas's much bigger ones.

There was magic going on here tonight, Em thought, but she didn't say a word.

‘You want me to give him his bottle?' she asked.

‘No.' Jonas's voice was strangely gruff. ‘I'll do it. Finish your chocolate.'

‘Yours'll get cold.'

‘It doesn't matter.'

And it didn't. Em sat and sipped her chocolate, and watched Jonas tenderly feed Robby his bottle, and she found her precious equilibrium slipping further and further from her grasp.

Until it was gone for ever, like it or not.

 

Anna was transferred by ambulance to Bay Beach Hospital the next day. Em checked her on arrival, ensured she had adequate pain relief and watched as she nestled down against her pillows in relief.

‘I'll send you your brother,' she told her as Anna settled
down to sleep. She touched her lightly on her hair, in a gesture of reassurance. ‘The ambulance ride will have stirred up the pain, but it'll settle now. In a little while, if it's OK with you, Jonas will bring the kids in. They'll want to see you.'

‘And I want to see them,' Anna whispered. ‘Oh, I'm so glad it's over.'

‘Aren't we all? Can you ring Dr Lunn in clinic?' Em asked the nurse with her. She glanced at her watch. ‘Tell him Anna is back. Tell him I've just given her morphine and she'll sleep for an hour or so, but after that…if he could bring in the kids, I'll take over clinic.'

And that was that.

She didn't see Jonas for the rest of the day, and if that was deliberate on Em's part then who could blame her? She desperately needed time out. She was so confused she was having trouble concentrating on medicine.

And when she returned to the house that night, Robby was alone with Amy. Jonas was still out with the kids.

Maybe he needed time out, too, she thought, and if there was a trace of bitterness in her thoughts, who could blame her for that either? The man had stirred up so much unwanted emotion within her. It was to be hoped he felt a little bit stirred up as well!

She played with Robby for a while, then settled him to sleep. Then she left him in the care of the night staff and went through to the hospital to do a late round. She was expecting Anna to be alone. Instead, she found her with Jonas.

And her blasted emotions were stirred all over again.

‘What have you done with the kids?' she asked. She raised her eyebrows at Jonas, and then smiled down at Anna in mock indignation. ‘He's a fine babysitter, I don't think.'

But Jonas was indignant in his turn. ‘I haven't abandoned them. Jim's taken them out for pizza.'

‘Jim?' Em's eyebrows rose still further. ‘Jim Bainbridge?'

To her surprise—and delight—a faint trace of colour was sweeping over Anna's pale face. Well, well. So it wasn't all one way.

‘He offered,' she said defensively. ‘And the kids know him. He just lives over the back fence. He…' Her colour mounted still further. ‘He came up to Blairglen but I didn't want to see him. Then he waited for a couple of hours to see me here. In the end, I had to say I'd see him. And he wanted to do something so much.'

‘I think it's a fine idea,' Em said soundly. She picked up Anna's observation chart to do a quick check and smiled down again at her patient. ‘Sometimes it takes courage to accept that people want desperately to help. I think, often, it's easier to be the giver than the receiver.'

Anna nodded. ‘I'm not used…to receiving.'

‘Now, how did I guess that?' Another smile, this time including Jonas. ‘These obs are good. The trip here doesn't seem to have upset you too much. Everything's looking fine, Anna. Now I'll leave you with your brother,' Em said gently, but Anna shook her head.

‘I'd like Jonas to leave, too,' she said. ‘Please… I want to be alone.'

 

‘She always wants to be alone.'

Back in their shared living room, Jonas was pacing like a caged tiger, his frustration showing. ‘Hell. How can I let her see how much I want to be near?'

Em watched him pace. Robby had just woken and she was cuddling him. The baby was crooning his happiness
to be reunited with her and she was undergoing all sorts of pain herself—but she felt for Jonas.

And she also felt for Anna.

‘Your parents hurt her badly,' she said softly. ‘As they hurt you. She's learned the hard way to be independent.'

‘If I was in this situation—'

‘Would you depend on other people?' She looked at him thoughtfully. ‘I don't think so.'

‘Of course I would.'

‘Emotionally?' She rose and hugged Robby tighter. The baby snuggled against her breast, and Em's heart twisted. ‘I'm not sure whether you know the meaning of the words emotional dependency.' She certainly did.

But Jonas was turning on her, confused. ‘I don't know what you're trying to say.'

‘Of course you don't.' She took a deep breath, trying to figure the best way to say it. ‘Jonas, do you need Anna?'

He stared at her blankly. ‘She's my little sister.'

‘I know that. But do you need her? Have you ever shown her that?'

‘I don't need her,' he said, his voice still uncomprehending. ‘Of course I don't. I've always been the strong one.'

‘Because you've had to be. But emotional dependency works both ways.' She took a deep breath and looked down at Robby. ‘Take me and Robby.'

‘Now, that's another thing—'

‘Robby needs me,' she said, ignoring the interruption. ‘At least, he needs someone to love him to bits. Which I could do so easily. But I have the honesty to acknowledge that I need Robby, too.'

‘You don't need Robby. He's a baby.'

‘But he gives.' Em looked down at the child in her arms
and her face changed. ‘Every time he grins at me, every time I have to hurt him when I change his dressings or massage his little limbs, and he doesn't cry because he knows if I hurt him a cuddle will follow, every time he snuggles into me—that need grows. That's the sort of need I'm talking about. I'm talking about love, Jonas. Anna has learned to survive without it. And I think…so have you.'

‘That's ridiculous.'

‘No. It's the truth.' A knock sounded through the house and she sighed and put her emotions on the back-burner. ‘This'll be Jim, bringing the children home. He's another one like me. Who loves—and needs—and who doesn't stand a donkey's chance of being loved and needed in return.'