The Doctor's Forbidden Fling (5 page)

Violet's blood was boiling. All anyone had tried to do was help him and all they ever got in return was verbal abuse. The olive branch she'd held out was being whacked around her head with every dismissive utterance.

‘This is for your own good. If you don't want me here, if you don't want Nate involved, then start looking after yourself.' In all the years she'd spent with her own patients, she'd always been able to tread carefully and keep her temper in check in the toughest circumstances. Right now it was stretched to snapping point. There'd been a very good reason she'd left her personal baggage in a different country—it made her a different person. A weaker one.

He didn't bat an eyelid.

‘This is something we can discuss once your father is up to it. Lifestyle will be something we'll cover during rehabilitation. I think we should let you rest now, Lord Dempsey.' Nate addressed her directly for the first time since he'd sneaked in and it was to undermine the stance she was trying to take here.

She swung around, hands on hips, and tried to communicate via the medium of dirty looks how ticked off she was with him. The patient gave a grunt next to them, which Violet knew amounted to another dismissal. The chance to get everything off her chest had passed and she wasn't best pleased about it.

Nate did his own spot of mime, nodding towards the door. She had no option but to follow when he turned on his heel and walked away from the volcanic eruption she was building up to. She didn't attempt to quieten the fast click of her footsteps out into the hallway after him.

‘What?' She was mad at him, her father and, most of all, herself for ending up back in this situation.

He held one hand up in surrender, with the other resting on the door handle of that dreaded family room. ‘Can we talk?'

‘Not in there.' She was already on the edge without being forced to relive that nightmare again.

‘That's right. It'll be safer for me if we go somewhere more...public.'

She heard the tease in his voice before she noticed the glint in his eye and the dimples blossoming in his cheeks. It was too hard to stay mad when he was giving her his best ‘naughty puppy' look. Violet groaned in defeat. It had been too good to be true to think he would let last night's shenanigans sink without a trace.

‘What can I say? I was clearly in the midst of some sort of breakdown. I promise not to try and jump your bones today. I'm sure there's some sort of medical ethics involved where you're not allowed to bring that up without my permission.' The only blessing about this continued humiliation was that, by turning it into a joke at her expense, they'd broken the ice before it had time to fully form between them.

She was loath to admit it but she needed him as a friend if nothing else. It was one thing being strong and independent when you were able to leave all of your troubles at work, quite another when they followed you home at night and invited their mates round to party. A familiar, if not overly friendly, face was the only thing stopping her from being completely overwhelmed and jumping on the first plane back.

‘That really only applies if you're my patient...'

‘I'm sure with the stress I'm under that's a definite possibility. So, if we can forget that ever happened...you wanted to talk?' If her father was going to continue playing dumb she was going to have to get back to Strachmore and make a start on that pretty red paper trail. She knew she wasn't going to like what she found at the end of it.

Nate gestured towards the empty plastic chairs in the corridor. It wasn't exactly the cosiest set-up for a heart-to-heart but there was every possibility she'd break her promise if they were holed up in that confined space again together. That white doctor coat suited him. It said he was in charge and that was irresistible to someone whose own confidence was floundering more with every second she spent back here.

‘First off, I wasn't trying to interfere in there. I know you have a lot of things to sort out with your father but it's going to have to wait.'

She was so intent on watching his lips and imagining how differently things could've turned out last night, it took a few seconds for his words to register. ‘Sorry. What?'

‘We need to keep his stress levels to a minimum while he recovers. The lectures can wait until we get him through the other side of this. Trust me, we'll be giving a few of our own on his lifestyle before he leaves.' He rested his hand on top of hers, probably the way he offered his support to all family members who walked these hallways. Violet wondered if his touch had the same effect on them. The bolt of electricity shooting through her at the point of contact was powerful enough to make the heart defibrillators redundant.

She slid her hand out from his so she could think clearly. ‘You're asking me to back off?'

‘For now, yes.' He could just as well be talking about the inappropriate thoughts she kept having about him.

Back off. Stop picturing me wearing nothing but my stethoscope.

She reluctantly agreed. The strength of her willpower would surely be tested over the next few days. In both areas.

‘Now, I don't want to tread on your toes any more than I already have but I was thinking about Strachmore.' His scowl seemed only natural. It pained Violet every time she thought of the place too.

‘Did the nightmares keep you awake last night?' She thought he appeared a little more rugged this morning and had hoped that spurning her advances had kept him awake with regret.

Oh, wait. That had been her.

Nate gave her his version of the death stare. It didn't have the same menacing effect when he puckered his lips at her. She was simply tempted to help smooth them out again.

‘I'm serious. I had a few ideas of what you could do to generate some income.'

‘I'm listening.' So far her only plans had included selling up or torching the place for the insurance money. Both of which had her conscience screaming ‘Cop out!' She'd probably find herself haunted by the ghosts of past earls for eternity if she surrendered their legacy so easily. Besides, she was none too fond of playing with matches. There was always a chance of getting burned.

‘Okay, so, I was thinking more long-term financial stability. A way of making the estate self-sufficient. You have beautiful gardens, large banqueting areas and floors of empty bedrooms. It's the perfect wedding venue. Stately homes are all the rage these days and not only for receptions. You can apply for a licence to actually hold the ceremonies on site—' Nate had obviously given this a lot of thought in the space of a few hours. No doubt it was a ploy to get her out of the country quick smart before she put him in any more awkward situations.

‘That sounds...complicated.' She rubbed her temples, the mere thought of tackling this bringing on another tension headache.

‘Perhaps, at the beginning, but once everything is in place I'm pretty sure the bookings will come flooding in.' He made it sound so simple.

‘Where do you even begin with that sort of thing?' It sounded like a lot of hard work that would keep her here far beyond a couple of weeks' paid leave. She didn't want to start something she'd be expected to see through to the end. Her idea of helping was to get the bills paid while her father was laid up, not take on a whole new set of problems on his behalf.

‘You'll need public liability insurance for a start, and then the licences for alcohol, entertainment, et cetera. There'd have to be a fire-risk assessment, maybe some planning permission depending on how far you want to develop this.'

‘I'm not sure I do. I'm not sticking around, remember?'

‘I know. I'm just brainstorming ideas that will keep the place afloat so you don't have to come back.'

‘Of course.' Violet took a direct hit in the feels. This wasn't Nate trying to ease her burden. He just didn't want her hanging around.

‘You don't have to jump right in at the deep end. There's no reason why you couldn't test those waters first by opening the place up to the public. You could run tours of the house or hire out the gardens for photographic shoots. There's endless possibilities.'

And an infinite number of new headaches to deal with.

‘I suppose it's worth looking into.' Especially if it meant she could absolve herself of further responsibilities or reasons to return. Coming back had only managed to upset the new life she'd created for herself and Nate had made it abundantly clear there was nothing left for her here. If only this weren't such a Herculean task to take on herself it could've proved the answer to all of their prayers.

‘I've spoken to my parents and they're on board with whatever decision you make. After all, Strachmore is their home too. There's just one problem...'

‘Of course there is. You're sure it's just the one?'

‘Well, one particular obstacle which could shut the whole project down before it gets off the ground.' The way he was fidgeting with his tie gave away his sudden nerves, which didn't bode well for Violet. She thought he was supposed to be bringing her solutions, not more reasons to get wound up.

‘Which is?' She sat on her hands so she didn't give into her instinct to stick her fingers in her ears. She had to hear this if she was to find some way out of this whole mess.

‘Your father. We'll need his say-so on everything.' Not even Nate's apologetic smile could salve that slap in the face.

The man who'd let the castle crumble around him was the only one who could save it. If he weren't so completely blinkered by his self-importance there might've been a chance that plan might've actually worked.

‘That's the end of that, then.' Enough people had wasted their time and energy trying to wake him up to what was happening around him for Violet to know this was a lost cause.

‘I get this isn't going to be easy but it'll be worth it in the end. You'll finally be able to leave Strachmore behind.'

She couldn't fault his logic. It was the lack of emotion she was having trouble dealing with. He apparently wanted this all neatly tidied up so he could wash his hands of everything she'd brought to his door.

‘That's what we all want, I guess.' Unfortunately, even if she had been at her ass-kicking, emotionally detached, sleeping-at-night best, this was going to be a monumental task. If by some miracle she could engage her father in conversation long enough to convince him of the plan, the practicalities alone would cripple her.

She needed help. She needed Nate. All that was left to do was swallow her pride and admit it.

‘I know you can do this, Violet.' He had more faith in her than she had in herself. Or perhaps it was wishful thinking on his part, pre-empting the words that were going to come out of her mouth next.

‘I don't think I can do this on my own. Will you help me?' She almost choked on the words that went against everything she'd strived for in adulthood. This was the second time in less than twenty-four hours she'd showed him her weakness.

By asking Nate to sleep with her, now begging him to bail her out, she made her new life into a sham. She'd flown back into town as a city slicker, an independent career woman who hadn't relied on anyone to help her make it in the Big Smoke. Now she was back to being that simpering, frightened girl she'd done her best to escape.

A wave of nausea crested over her as she waited for what seemed like an eternity. He'd turned down her request last night and she wouldn't blame him for doing the same again. He didn't owe her anything and he certainly didn't need this clingy, emotional side of her any more than she did. She'd simply hoped Nate would be the one person who wouldn't hold the past against her.

‘I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. You've done so much for us already and I know you're busy—' She tried to back out of this with her last scrap of dignity intact.

His brow was furrowed in contemplation and she could almost see his refusal making its way from his brain to his lips. This smart idea had been right up there with asking the man she'd unceremoniously dumped years before to jump into bed with her.

She got to her feet and scouted out the nearest toilets so she could have a good blub in private. It was her own fault she didn't have a friend in him now when she'd run out on him when he'd needed her the most.

‘Wait!' Nate shot out a hand and grabbed her by the wrist, pressing against her bracelet and temporarily branding her skin with her seahorse charm. It was a reminder of everything she'd thrown away and apparently could never get back.

It was too late. The old Nate wouldn't have hesitated to offer his support.

‘Don't worry about it, Nate. I've dumped my problems on you once too often. I'll put in a few phone calls myself tomorrow—the bank, Citizens Advice, the Samaritans...' She forced a smile past the lump in her throat and her trembling bottom lip. Even though she'd been content on her own for a long time, somehow the thought of not having him by her side now made her feel more alone than ever.

CHAPTER FOUR

‘I'
LL
HELP
. W
E
'
LL
FIGURE
this out together if that's what you want?' Nate hadn't known what he was going to say until the words were out of his mouth. He hadn't known he was going to reach for her until she'd tried to walk away. Now it was too late to take any of it back. His conscience had got the better of him again when it became clear how desperate she was for him to stick around. Once upon a time he'd been in that very position, wishing she'd stay with him at any cost. Just because he'd been left in the cold it didn't mean he should do the same to Violet. He would never intentionally hurt her when her family had done such a sterling job of that throughout her entire life.

He'd hesitated with good reason. The ‘no' had danced on his tongue where he couldn't quite catch it. This was everything he'd sworn to stay away from—Violet, Strachmore, and a commitment to be there for someone for more than purely physical reasons. It might've been easier to draw that line if they had slept together. But he couldn't bear to see that dejected look on her face again if he rejected her a second time.

Violet bit her lip and nodded her head. From everything he'd heard over the years, she'd had her life all figured out without assistance from anyone. He knew she must've been out of options to turn to him for help after all this time apart. A huge step backward for her. Lord knew he wasn't in a hurry to go back to the Dark Ages either, where everything revolved around her father's will, but he had to consider the long-term benefits. One pride-swallowing favour could render him guilt-free for the rest of his days from everyone who might expect something from him in the future. This would be a one-off.

He resigned himself to whatever fate had in store for him next as punishment for not learning his lesson the first time around. If he approached this new relationship with Violet with the logical side of his brain instead of that useless emotional one, he might just come out of this with what was left of his heart in one piece.

‘Okay, then. First things first, we'll need to pay off the most pressing bills before applying for any licences. We can't have them cutting off the electric, or, God forbid, your father's champagne-of-the-month subscription before he gets home.'

Another nod. She was going to have to move from the back seat and take over some of the driving duties if his involvement here was to remain short-lived. He was assisting her in her hour of need, not enabling her to ignore the problem.

‘How do you want to proceed with this, Violet?'

She was going to have to make decisions for herself and not get too comfortable with him being around. Once his idea was up and running, so was he. He'd thought he'd found his ‘Get out of Jail Free' card by coming up with this venture in the first place. A pair of storm-coloured eyes had been his undoing yet again. Perhaps he could persuade her to start wearing sunglasses and prevent any further forced promises being made in a hypnotic trance.

Violet inhaled a deep breath as though she was girding herself for the challenge ahead. The first good sign she was in this with him. ‘We should sit down and go through the paperwork together to see exactly what we're dealing with.'

It was the logical first step and the proactive approach he wanted to see from her. However, it also meant spending more time together. Inevitable, he supposed, and also the main reason he'd initially resisted volunteering for being her second in command. He'd already proved how weak-willed he was when it came to Violet, barely surviving the last test of his strength.

‘If you have everything with you now we could go through it in my office. I have some time before my cardiac clinic.' His attempt to avoid a repeat of their previous one-to-one at Strachmore earned him a raised eyebrow and a grin.

‘I understand why you don't trust me not to rip your clothes off if we're left alone for too long, but I'm afraid I don't carry my father's shame around in my handbag. We'll have to come up with an alternative venue. Somewhere with a glass partition, perhaps, to protect you from unwarranted advances? Or would you prefer I was immobilised and trussed up
à la
Hannibal Lecter?'

It was his turn to give the dirty looks. He was simply taking necessary security measures to make sure this remained a platonic meeting.

‘Let's not make this weird, Nate. I'm sure even you've been knocked back on occasion without being made to feel like a sex fiend by the other party.'

She was right. By shying away from being alone with her he was turning this into a bigger deal than it should be. There'd been instances where he'd turned down advances from patients and colleagues alike and he'd carried on without giving it a second thought. He shouldn't treat this, treat Violet, any different from anyone else. That was what had got him into trouble thus far.

‘I can't say I've ever encountered that particular problem myself...'

He hit the jackpot with that one—a
‘tut'
and an eye-roll combo.

‘Well, Mr Smooth, I defer to your superiority in these matters. What shall it be? My place, yours, or somewhere neutral? Say, Belfast City Hall? It's a bit of a drive but there'll be plenty of people around to keep you safe.' This snarky Violet put him more at ease than the meek version even if she was making him the butt of her jokes.

If he was honest, he'd seen enough of Strachmore this last couple of days to last him another lifetime. The city hall was tempting but that merely compounded the theory he didn't trust her, or himself, not to act inappropriately. That only left one other option.

‘My place it is. I can swing by after my shift to pick you and the paperwork up. Maybe even grab some takeaway to eat while we work?' He was going on the theory that at least if they were at his house they'd be playing by his rules. There was no chance of any last-minute sleepovers and absolutely no reminders of their shared past. He would set the boundaries and time limits on tonight's escapade.

‘That would be great. I'll pop in and say goodbye to Dad and head back to get things organised.' The smile back on her face was because of him. Her peace of mind came at the price of his but at least those eyes had their sparkle back.

‘And I've got a waiting room full of patients to attend. Unless there's any emergencies I should be away around seven p.m.' He made a move to get back to Outpatients, where he was confident in his decision-making process.

‘Thanks, Nate.'

Why did every pat on the head from Violet seem like a reward and a step back at the same time?

* * *

Violet couldn't sit still. She'd changed, twice, carefully applied, then removed, her make-up, and cooked a lasagne. All so she wouldn't come across to Nate as though she was trying too hard. This wasn't a date, it was an intervention of sorts. Yet the butterflies in her stomach were the same ones she'd had when she'd waited for him to take her to their fake prom.

Sure, she'd swapped her baby pink swing dress for jeans and the grey hoodie she usually wore for jogging, but it was the same sense of excitement making her fidgety at the prospect of spending the evening with him.

Until yesterday she'd forgotten the effect he had on her. It was entirely possible her subconscious had locked those memories away with the bad ones, fearing they were equally damaging to her equilibrium. Her London-based liaisons held no element of surprise when she was the one calling the shots. Having the upper hand enabled her to bail when things got too serious. Just as she had done with Nate. That had been a bigger step for her than leaving home, but one that had also given her the courage to protect herself first and foremost in her following relationships.

Now she was back to hanging around this big house waiting for Nate to rescue her. Except this time he was whisking her from a mountain of debt instead of the school dance she'd been dreading and taking her to his place instead of the old boathouse.

That had been the night her feelings for him had begun to change. He'd dressed in his best shirt and tie to escort her to their alternative prom. To this day no one knew she'd ditched the fancy hotel venue her classmates had attended for an evening in the draughty wooden shack. She'd been more comfortable there, safer, than in a room full of her peers.

Sweet sixteen and never been kissed but in his strong arms as they'd danced to the mix tape he'd made specially, she'd thought about it. He'd been the only one who'd taken her pleas that she hadn't wanted to go to her prom seriously but still wanted to make the night special for her. He'd always known what was best for her and it would be easy to sit back and let him make those judgement calls for her now, but deep down she realised those days were long gone.

She'd seen it in his reluctance to get involved, felt it when she'd had to ask for help rather than have him pre-empt it. It was down to her that things had changed between them and she hadn't regretted that decision until she'd had to come back and face him. It had been easier not to miss that close relationship when she wasn't seeing him every day.

She covered the lasagne dish with aluminium foil and put the salad ingredients into a portable container. This way she was simply bringing dinner to a friend's house, leaving no room for misunderstanding when Nate wasn't paying for the food they'd eat together.

She'd been listening for a car horn to sound his arrival and hadn't expected him to ring the doorbell. Neither had she expected to see him waiting on her doorstep. All he'd needed were the bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates accessories and she'd found her dream date.

Not a date. Crisis management.

If she kept telling herself that they might both come out of this unscathed.

‘Hey.' He scuffed his shoes on the stone steps the way he always had when they were kids, eager to get away from here as soon as she was ready before her father spotted him.

‘Hey. I've just got to grab a few things and I'll meet you at the car.' She knew he was only standing here out of courtesy, being the gentleman her father had always told her she'd deserved.

After a quick dash inside to collect the makings of dinner, she joined him in the car.

‘What's that?' He sniffed the air and peered at the mini tower of food containers on her knee as if she were using his vehicle to transfer toxic waste across the country.

‘Dinner. Lasagne, to be more precise. I can't take credit for the salad but I made everything else from scratch.'

The car swerved as Nate turned to stare at her. ‘Since when could you make more than burnt toast?'

Violet reached across to straighten the steering wheel so he didn't run them off the road. That split second of closeness made her heart beat a little faster. His breath was hot on the back of her neck, his frame strong around her and his spicy aftershave so enticing she wanted to sink back into him. She didn't.

‘I know it was our secret snack of choice in the days of sneaking into the kitchen but the single life called for something more exciting and nutritious. The lack of a social life gives me plenty of time to experiment in the kitchen after work.' She was rambling now but since she was practically sprawled in his lap things could get awkward quickly if they let silence descend.

‘I...er...think we're good now.' He gave her the nod to extricate herself from his side of the car.

Their brief encounter had given her more than a warm feeling inside. A tingling sensation had started at the top of her thighs and was steadily making its way south. It took a few seconds staring at the upturned dish in her lap before she made the connection.

‘Ack!' The bottom of her sweatshirt and her jeans were now coated in a hot tomato and minced beef marinade. Thankfully the pasta layers had remained intact between the foil and the dish so she was able to rescue it with a quick flip.

‘What's wrong?'

‘I spilled dinner. Don't worry, I caught most of it.' In her lap, which was now stinging beneath her denims. She tried not to make a scene and draw even more attention to her stupidity.

Hs curiosity deepened his forehead into a frown when he cast a glance in her direction. ‘Are you all right?'

‘Fine,' she said through gritted teeth as molten lasagne lava singed her flesh.

‘We're here now anyway. I'll take a look once we're inside.'

They pulled up outside a very modern, very secluded two-storey glass building overlooking Dundrum Bay. Nothing like the city-based apartment she'd pictured him in.

‘I had no idea you lived so close.' Even more surprising than this sophisticated bachelor pad with only the local wildlife for company was the fact Strachmore was merely a ten-minute drive away.

‘Only for this last couple of years. I've worked all over Ireland but when the position opened up in Silent Valley, I decided to move back. It turned out I missed the peace and quiet out here. And it's still far enough away to deter my parents from dropping in when they feel like it.'

Violet imagined no one got beyond the gates without some sort of personal invitation. She tried not to think about those who had passed through here and took comfort in the fact she'd been personally chauffeured door-to-door by the owner.

Nate climbed out of the driver seat and walked around to her side of the car. He opened the door and took possession of their dinner remains in one hand. Even as he helped her out with his free hand, it was obvious he was assessing the extent of her injuries.

Violet groaned as the cool air made contact and increased her discomfort.

‘That's it. Get inside and take your clothes off.' Nate opened the front door and practically shoved her inside.

‘I bet you say that to all the ladies,' Violet snarked with a grimace.