‘You’re late,’ Madame said, pouncing on her almost before she had got inside the door. ‘Don’t think you’re too high and mighty to need rehearsals now that you’re second billing. You still got to practise, practise, practise or you’ll never get nowhere.’
‘Yes, I’m sorry,’ Rosetta said, hurrying towards the dressing room. She did not tell Madame that she was late because she had been sick again. It was happening so regularly that she was beginning to think she had something very wrong with her. To her dismay she found Aggie was in the dressing room, sprawled on a chair, smoking a cigarette.
‘Oh, it’s you. I thought it was old Clara come to get me.’ Aggie took a drag on her cigarette and exhaled a plume of blue smoke.
Choking, Rosetta turned away, the too familiar nauseous feeling rising in her throat. ‘No smoking in here. You know that.’
‘Ooh, listen to her. Just because you’re Alf’s bit of skirt don’t mean you can tell me what to do.’
Before Rosetta could answer, Tilly rushed into the room. ‘Aggie, better come back quick. Madame’s looking for you.’
‘Bleeding hell,’ Aggie said, stamping the cigarette end out on the polished floorboards.
‘You’d best get a move on too, Capretti.’
Tilly moved closer to Rosetta, staring hard. ‘You all right, Rose?’
Rosetta had discarded her coat and had her blouse half off, but the room had begun to spin round her as if she were doing pirouette after pirouette. Suddenly she was on the floor, looking up into Tilly’s freckled face.
‘You passed out,’ Tilly said anxiously. ‘Are you sick?’
Rosetta struggled to a sitting position, holding her head. ‘Just a bit dizzy. Can’t think why.’
‘Don’t be bloody stupid,’ Aggie said, coming to stand over her, hands on hips. ‘Been throwing up lately, Rose?’
‘Sometimes, when I eat too much chocolate.’
Aggie let out a hoot of laughter. ‘It ain’t chocolate what’s in your belly, ducks.’
‘Shut up,’ Tilly said, glaring up at Aggie. ‘Don’t listen to her, Rose.’
‘So when did you have your last monthly?’ Aggie demanded. ‘Bet you can’t remember. You’re in the family way, ducks, good and proper.’
Avoiding Jonas was comparatively easy. He seemed to be avoiding her. For days, after what had amounted to rape, Ruby had lived in a constant state of anxiety, shame and self-loathing. She had done so little to stop him; perhaps she had unintentionally given him some kind of encouragement? She hated him for what he was and what he had done to her and yet, deep down and to her eternal shame, Ruby had to struggle with the knowledge that her treacherous body had responded with a passion that she could never have imagined. It must, she thought, have been some kind of devil within her that allowed Jonas to play with her senses, exciting her body to a fever pitch over which she had no control.
Ruby lay in bed night after sleepless night unable to banish the memory of Jonas’s hands caressing her bare flesh, his mouth demanding her response and the shameful climax when she had cried out, not in pain but in ecstasy. Mum had always told her that the intimate relations of the marriage bed were the curse that women had
to bear, and that the act of procreation was not supposed to be pleasurable. It was a wife’s duty to suffer in silence. Ruby’s cheeks flamed in the darkness as she remembered the illicit pleasure that had been her downfall. She should have fought to protect her virginity; she should have screamed out, bitten, scratched, appealed to Jonas’s better nature, but she had done none of those things.
Ruby thought of running away but she had nowhere to go. She could not return to Tobacco Court in disgrace, she could not leave Joe to face his fate, and now she had another tie in that she had grown fond of Lily who was desperately sick and needed her. Focusing her anger and despair on Jonas, Ruby convinced herself that she would never forgive him for what he had done: he had ruined her and no decent man would want to marry her now. She was used goods, second-hand, spoilt. She would never be able to look Adam Fairfax in the face again; not that a gentleman like Adam would look twice at her anyway, but any slight chance of that had been wiped out by that cataclysmic night when Lily lay in bed, drugged with laudanum and helpless in the grip of her illness.
With the coming of spring, Lily seemed to be recovering slowly from the exacerbation of the disease that was slowly consuming her body, and Ruby had to steel herself not to blurt out a
confession, begging her forgiveness. She knew that it would be impossible to avoid Jonas for ever, but she had been unprepared for the violence of her reaction when he came unexpectedly into the sitting room while she was reading out loud to Lily. Ruby dropped the book, covering her confusion by going down on her hands and knees to retrieve it.
‘Jonas!’ Lily’s pale cheeks flushed to a delicate pink and her eyes glowed with an inner light.
‘How are you today, Lily?’
Scrambling to her feet, Ruby couldn’t look Jonas in the eye. He was standing in front of Lily looking down at her as she lay on the chaise longue, so pale and thin that her flesh seemed almost transparent. By comparison, Jonas looked ruggedly healthy and his strength and vitality seemed totally out of place in a sick room. Backing away, Ruby made for the door.
‘It’s all right, Ruby,’ Jonas said, in an even tone, as if nothing had ever happened between them. ‘Don’t go. I need you to hear this too.’
‘What is it?’ Lily said, reaching up to hold his hand. ‘Is it something nice, Jonas?’
Jonas sat down beside her. ‘I’ve spoken to the doctor, Lily. He says you should go away to convalesce. Out of London and preferably by the sea.’
‘A seaside holiday?’ Spots of colour appeared on Lily’s cheeks, giving her the appearance of a
painted wooden doll. Sparks of excitement flared in her blue eyes. ‘I’ve never seen the sea.’
‘It’s all arranged. I’ve booked you into a hotel on the seafront in Southend. They say the air is bracing on the east coast. We’ll soon have you back on your feet.’
Lily’s smile faded. ‘You’ve booked me in? Aren’t you going to stay with me?’
‘I’ll take you there in the motor, but you know that I’ve got business here and I can’t just leave things to run themselves.’
‘I know that, Jonas.’ Lily sighed, collapsing back against the cushions, closing her eyes.
‘I’ll come down as often as I can to see you,’ Jonas continued in a voice he might have used to comfort a small child. ‘You’ll be well looked after, and I’m sending Tucker with you. He’ll run your errands and see that no one bothers you.’
Lily’s eyes flew open: two blue pools swimming in tears. ‘But Ruby will come too?’ She began to cough, holding a hanky to her lips.
Ruby made a move towards her but Jonas caught her by the hand. ‘You have a visitor waiting in the hall, Ruby. You’d better go down and see what he wants.’
‘Adam!’ Ruby almost missed a step as she ran downstairs to greet him.
‘Ruby, I had to come myself,’ Adam said, his
boyish features creased into a grin. ‘I’ve got some wonderful news for you.’
Seeing Tucker straining his ears to hear what they were saying, Ruby led Adam to the ladies’ room where supper was served in the evenings and where the women gathered, eating and drinking while the men occupied themselves in the gaming room upstairs. Shutting the double doors behind her, she motioned Adam to take a seat. Perching on a chair opposite him, she struggled to gain control her of her breathing, folding her hands in her lap to stop them trembling. ‘You – you said you had some news for me?’
Adam smiled. ‘It’s absolutely splendid, Ruby. Matron called me into her office and said that she had been reconsidering her decision in the light of a generous donation of a bursary from an anonymous well-wisher. The upshot is that she is willing to take you on as a nurse probationer.’
‘She wants me? Are you serious, Adam?’
‘Absolutely serious. I’m so pleased for you and so is Pamela. She wanted to come with me today but she’s on duty at the hospital.’
For a shining moment, Ruby saw her dream about to come true, until the harsh reality of the situation hit her. ‘Mr Crowe only said I could study in my spare time and it looks like I’m going to Southend with Lily.’ Jumping to her feet, she turned away so that Adam would not
see the guilty blush that burned her cheeks at the mere mention of Jonas’s name.
‘You don’t understand, Ruby. Mr Crowe thinks it’s an excellent idea.’
Spinning round, Ruby stared hard at Adam. ‘You asked him?’
‘I probably should have mentioned it to you first, but he wanted to know why I was here. A perfectly reasonable request in the circumstances, and he was most affable. You have a good employer there.’
A good employer? Ruby couldn’t look Adam in the face. He was so blissfully unaware of the nature of things here in Raven Street. With his high ideals and comfortable background, Adam had no idea what it was like existing in the twilight of the London underworld.
‘You are pleased, aren’t you, Ruby? You haven’t changed your mind?’
Ruby shook her head. ‘No, of course not. It’s just a bit of a surprise, that’s all. When do I start?’
When Adam had gone, Ruby went in search of Jonas. He was not in the sitting room and Lily had fallen into a drugged sleep on the chaise longue. Determined to get things straight, Ruby looked for him in the gaming room, which was unusually empty of punters. She found him in the small room that he used as an office, sitting
behind his desk with a ledger open in front of him. He did not seem surprised to see her.
‘Did you mean it?’ Ruby demanded. ‘Are you going to let me attend the nursing school, or were you just playing games with me?’
‘Why would I do that?’
‘You made me come here because of Joe’s gambling debts. Why would you release me to study nursing?’
‘I’m not your jailer.’
‘I’m supposed to be looking after Lily, so I should be going with her to the seaside.’
Closing the ledger with a snap, Jonas sat back in his chair, his face an impassive mask. ‘The doctor told me that Lily’s condition is serious. She needs complete rest under medical supervision. The hotel is really a sanatorium but I didn’t want to frighten Lily by telling her the truth.’
‘You’re sending her away.’
‘For her own good and only for as long as it takes to make her well again.’ Jonas got to his feet. ‘Lily will have the best care that money can buy.’
‘She’ll be lonely and frightened amongst strangers.’
‘Which is why I’m sending Tucker with her. He’s a useless piece of flotsam but he is devoted to Lily and I know I can trust him to see that she has everything she needs.’ Jonas walked slowly
round the desk to stand in front of Ruby, his expression softening. ‘If you want to help Lily, then study hard and learn as much as you can about nursing so that you can care for her when she is allowed home.’
A worm of suspicion crawled into Ruby’s brain. ‘Did you donate the money to the hospital so that I could study?’
‘Does that sound like something I would do?’
‘I don’t know,’ Ruby said, shaking her head, confused by the sudden physical proximity to him that brought memories flooding back. ‘I don’t know you at all.’
Jonas leaned back against his desk, arms folded across his chest, his expression carefully controlled. ‘I’m not a good man; you keep that thought in your head. I do things with a purpose and for my own benefit.’
‘So why are you doing this for me?’
‘Don’t go running away with the idea that I’m a generous benefactor. I’m keeping you to your part of the bargain and I want you back here every night as soon as you finish at the hospital.’
‘But they don’t finish until late. It would be easier if I went home to Tobacco Court.’
‘This is your home, that is until that good-for-nothing brother finishes repaying the money he owes me.’
‘I thought I was working for you to pay off Joe’s debts. What are you making him do?’
‘Nothing illegal, so don’t worry. While you’re here I promise not to break his neck,’ Jonas said with a grim smile. ‘Don’t look so alarmed, Ruby. I’ve got Joe where I want him, for now. He can meet you at the hospital every evening and bring you home in a hansom cab. I won’t have you walking the streets of Whitechapel on your own after dark.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You have nothing to thank me for,’ Jonas said stiffly. ‘We both know that.’
Ruby met his gaze steadily, anger bubbling to the surface. ‘You treated me like a common whore.’
‘No!’ Jonas almost spat the word at her, his brows drawing together in a frown. ‘Never think that. You must never think that.’ He turned away from her, bowing his head, his voice barely audible. ‘Forgive me, Ruby.’
During the next few days, Ruby barely had time to think about her sudden change of fortune. Everything now revolved around getting Lily packed and ready for the journey to Southend. Tucker was sent on ahead by rail with the luggage and on a bright morning at the end of April, in between sunshine and showers, Ruby helped Lily into the motor car, wrapping her in a fur rug.
‘Good luck with your nursing studies, dear,’
Lily said, her eyes filling with tears. ‘I’m going to miss you so much, Ruby.’
Hugging her, Ruby tried hard not to cry. ‘You’ll have a lovely time by the sea. I wish I was coming with you.’
Lily turned to Jonas as he climbed into the driving seat, having started the engine with the cranking handle. ‘That’s a wonderful idea. You could bring Ruby down with you next weekend, Jonas. Oh, say you will. I should have something extra special to look forward to.’
‘Ruby might not be able to get away from the hospital, Lily. We’ll have to see.’
‘Do try,’ Lily called as the motor pulled out into the street. ‘I’ll send you lots of postcards, Ruby.’
As Ruby stood, waving until they were out of sight, it hit her all at once that from now on, except for the servants, she would be alone in the house with Jonas every night. She had been so busy getting Lily ready for her trip, and, in her spare moments, dreaming about working at the hospital and seeing Adam every day, that she had not given a thought to what Jonas might expect of her with Lily away. He had treated her with the utmost civility, bordering on aloofness, since his whispered apology that day in his office. Sometimes Ruby thought she must have imagined that he asked so humbly for her forgiveness; the odd thing
was that she had forgiven him, almost.