The Dr Pepper Prophecies (29 page)

'Uh huh,' I say, nodding insanely.  A couple of years and I might understand what she’s telling me.  A couple more and I might believe it.

'You know that my parents are divorced?'

I nod.

'Well,' Beth says, her hands folded neatly in her lap. 'When that happened, I went a little off the rails.  I was
already part of a group, of which Patrick was one, who were party people.  We drank too much, we experimented with drugs, we very nearly got ourselves expelled.  With me so far?'

I nod again.  I’m with the words, I’m just having the tiniest bit of difficulty believing that she’s talking about herself.

'We were young and we were stupid,' Beth continues, looking down at her hands. 'We thought it was all good fun and that all the horror stories in the news had nothing to do with us.  We didn’t take it seriously at all.  Then my father left and I crossed the line.  I started drinking alone at home instead of just when I was out with my friends.  I stopped having the odd cannabis cigarette and got into harder stuff.  I started sleeping around, with men twice my age.  Total strangers.  Eventually my mother pulled me out of school and sent me to a clinic to be dried out.'

I nod some more.  It sounds like we're talking about some celebrity gone off the rails.  I could believe it if we were.

'When I got cleaned up I cut all ties,' Beth says earnestly. 'I stopped seeing all my old friends.  Fortunately my home was in Yorkshire and school was in Scotland, so it wasn’t too hard.  Until Patrick showed up only my mother even knew I was in Surrey.'

'And that’s,' I clear my throat, '
that’s why you didn’t want to see Patrick.'

'Exactly,' Beth says. 'And why ‘exciting’ men aren’t the kind I go for.  I’ve seen the ugly side of that lifestyle and I’m not going back to it.'

'What made you stop?' I ask dumbly.

Beth pauses. 'Family,' she says.

I really don’t know how to deal with all this.

'What…happened last night?' I ask hesitantly. 

Do I want to know?

'Well, I went to meet you at the restaurant,' Beth says lightly, 'and I found Patrick instead.  Which seemed like quite a coincidence.'

I clear my throat. 'Sorry,' I mutter. 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'

'I expect it did,' Beth says calmly. 'Anyway, he was there with a few of his friends and against my better judgement I agreed to stay for one drink.  In all honesty, you weren't entirely wrong about Patrick.  He has many good qualities and he was very welcoming.'

She purses her lips. 'I asked for an orange juice,' she says, 'and he brought back a vodka and orange.  I can't tell you if he did it deliberately.  Most likely he just assumed that was what I meant.  I thought it tasted a bit odd, but unfortunately I was distracted and didn't realise why.  After that it gets a bit hazy.'

She smiles wryly. 'On balance,' she says. 'I think perhaps I should stay on the wagon after this.'

I nod in agreement before I realise she's trying to make a joke.

Beth looks at her watch. 'I have to go to work now,' she says, as if this whole conversation never happened. 'I’ll see you later.'

'Okay,' I say.  It’s about all I’m capable of.

Beth?

**
 

The whole weekend I keep stopping suddenly in the middle of doing things and thinking ‘Beth?’  I just cannot get my head round this.

And when I’m not thinking about Beth, I’m thinking about Will.

NY Alien says:

‘You kissed Will?!  Fantastic!’

Confused!!! says:

‘Not fantastic.  I kissed him, woke up next to him, told him it was freaky, made him go weird, then sorted it out only to blow up at him and storm out of his flat.  I don’t think we’re even speaking anymore.’

NY Alien says:

‘May I respectfully point out that you’ve done that more than a few times before?’

Confused!!! says:

‘I know, but this is different.’

NY Alien says:

‘Don’t tell me, because when he kissed you, you went all gooey inside?’

Confused!!! says:

‘YES!  So what do I do about it?’

NY Alien says:

‘Depends.  What do you want to do?’

Confused!!! says:

‘I don’t know.  That’s the whole point.’

NY Alien says:

‘Do you want to kiss him again?’

Confused!!! says:

‘No.  Yes.  Maybe.’

NY Alien says:

‘LOL.  Do you still want to be friends with him?’

Confused!!! says:

‘Of course I do.’

NY Alien says:

‘Do you want to be more?’

Confused!!! says:

‘More?'

NY Alien says:

‘Yes, more.  As in do-you-want-to-be-his-girlfriend?’

Confused!!! says:

‘He already has a girlfriend.’

NY Alien says:

‘You’re avoiding the question.’

Confused!!! says:

‘I know.’

NY Alien says:

‘Well, do you?’

Confused!!! says:

‘It’s too weird to actually say it.’

NY Alien says:

‘And that, ladies and g
entlemen, was a yes!  After twenty-five years, Mel has finally realised her true feelings for her best friend.  Tune in for next week’s exciting episode and find out if those feelings are returned.’

Is she serious?

Confused!!! says:

‘I can’t tell Will.  Not in a million years.  He’s not even single, for one thing.’

NY Alien says:

‘I bet he
’d break up with her in a heartbeat if he thought he could have you.’

Yeah right, because I’m every man’s idea of the perfect woman.

Confused!!! says:

‘Susan, this is doomed.  He doesn’t fancy me.  I’m more like his little sister.’

I flash back to waking up with him.  Will doesn’t have a sister, but if he did I'm pretty sure he wouldn't spoon with her.

Confused!!! says:

‘Well, not exactly, but it’s platonic.  That I’m sure about.  I’ll just have to spend my life being his kind and supportive friend, giving way to whatever lucky bitch becomes Mrs Knightley, holding my love forever inside me.’

NY Alien says:

‘Man, that sounds depressing.’

Confused!!! says:

‘I know. .’

Despondently, I look around.  Still no Cynthia.  A pile of inputting very nearly interfering with the ceiling fans.  One solitary Twix between me and desperation.

Confused!!! says:

‘I have
to get back to work and practise being resigned to the trials in my life.’

NY Alien says:

‘So do I actually.  My boss’ll go mad if he finds me playing on Messenger while I’m supposed to be working.’

Huh?

Confused!!! says:

‘You’re your own boss.’

NY Alien says:

‘That’s just how I like to talk.  Too used to working for someone else, I guess.’

Confused!!! says:

‘Right.  I think your boss wants you to eat chocolate.  Talk to you later.’

I shut down Messenger and stare into space.

Well, I’ve sort of made it official.  I’m in love with Will.

There’s just a few things I’m not clear about.  When did this happen?  How did this happen?

And, most importantly, what on Earth do I do next?

**
 

A few hours later, the ceiling scraper pile has diminished very slightly and the prospect of another fifty years on the planet living with an unrequited love as well as the rest of my rather less than inspired life has not exactly enhanced my mood.  There must be people out there who do this, but how?

My phone rings and I leap up like the chair is suddenly covered in upturned drawing pins.  Crap, what if it’s Will?  What do I say?

Trembling, I pick up the receiver.

'Hello,' I say. 'Melanie Parker.'

There’s a short silence, during which I conclude that it’s either Will or I’ve acquired myself a stalker.

'Should hope so too,' a gruff voice says. 'Wouldn’t like to think one of my girls was skiving.'

It’s my d
ad.  I feel a rush of relief.

There's a first time for everything.

'We just thought we’d call to see how you were,' Mum chimes in suddenly, making me jump.  She must be listening in on the kitchen phone.

How am I?  So many possible answers, most of which are probably better left unsaid.

'I’m fine,' I say, twirling the telephone cord around my finger.

'We…uh…have some news for you,' Dad says.  He sounds weird.  Almost like he’s…nervous.

'What?' I ask.  There may be the tiniest hint of suspicion in my voice.

'Well,' Dad clears his throat. 'What…what with one thing and another – the state of the property market and all that – we’ve…had a rethink.  Which is to say, we…uh…'

'We’re not moving,' Mum says warmly.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard her finish one of Dad’s sentences before.

'Really?  You’re not?' I ask, feeling a flush of warmth like someone’s just turned on my own personal central heating.

'I thought…that is, we both thought…that perhaps we’d been a little hasty.’

We?  It was his idea alone and he knows it.

I’m not going to remind him of that though.  I don’t want to ruin it.

'There are certain advantages to staying here,' Dad offers uncomfortably.

'Say it,' my mum prompts him gently.

Dad clears his throat loudly.  It’s not the most pleasant of sounds.

'We thought that perhaps…we should spend a little more time with you,' he says slowly. 'Maybe we haven’t kept in touch as much as we should have.  Might…get to know you a little better.'

'Just me?' I ask. 'Even though I haven’t given you any grandchildren, or a rich son-in-law or anything?'

Maybe I have a few trust issues surfacing.

'We…uh…' Dad pauses like he’s checking his notes. 'We respect your choices as an adult and release you from any obligation to act according to our wishes for you.'

Actually, I think he must have read it straight from the paper.  That was not Dad, it was one of those pop-psych people.

'Uh…thanks,' I say.

'What that means,' my dad adds, 'as I understand it, is that we’ll…I’ll…try not to talk so much about you still being single.'

That was Dad.  Still not quite getting it right.

But at least he’s trying now.

'I read
this article,' Dad says hastily. I can hear rustling in the background, so he must have got a whole stack of stuff to read from, 'that says lots of women get married later in life these days.  When they’re thirty or so.  So I suppose it’s not as late as I thought for you.'

He came so close to making that sound good.

'What your father means, Melanie,' Mum says, in a display of involvement which (for her) is incredible, 'is that it’s your business and we’re not going to interfere.'

Forgive me if I’m a little sceptical.

'You really mean that?' I say doubtfully.

'He does,' Mum says firmly.

'We do,' Dad says meekly.

Dad, meek?

There’s a slight pause.

'Absolutely no more talk about weddings?' I press.

'No.' For the first time Mum’s the voice and Dad’s the echo.

I relax a little. 'Great,' I say.

'Except…' Mum says.

I close my eyes.  I should’ve known it was too good to be true.

'What?' I say.

'Are other people’s weddings acceptable?'

I suppose I can’t expect them to go cold turkey.

'That’s fine,' I agree. 'In moderation.'

'I just wondered if you knew if Will and Natalie are engaged?' Mum asks.

Not this again.

'They’re not,' I say flatly.

'Lucy seems to think they soon will be,' Mum ventures. 'I was thinking what a shame it was that you two never got together.  It would have been so nice if you were marrying him.  Lucy and I used to discuss it when you were kids.'

Silence, because I don’t think I can talk.

'I didn’t mean that in a pressure way,' Mum says quickly. 'Obviously, it’s…'