The Duke in Denial (Scandal in Sussex) (15 page)

Sebastian’s breath quickened, and his chest rose and fell. “What are you doing?”

“Caring for you,” announced William. He lay down in the bed, and his nerves tingled as he brushed against Sebastian.

Sebastian’s eyes darkened, but he remained silent.

The sight of Sebastian near him brought him unimaginable joy. “I am here to give you the attention you deserve.”

Sebastian gasped.

His chest swelled, and he caught Sebastian’s wrists in his hands, holding them on the smooth bedsheets, feeling the other man’s pulse beat against him. “Tell me the kiss last night did not mean something to you. You kissed me back.”

“Why would you want me?” Sebastian turned his head away. “I am a man. An engaged man. To a woman. To your sister!”

For a moment, shame filled William, consuming him. His throat thickened, and he dropped his chin to his chest. Blood pounded through his veins, and he relaxed his grip on the other man.

The room was silent apart from the sounds of William’s and Sebastian’s pants, mingling together, joining in unison like the best orchestra at Almack’s.

He brushed his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, damp from sweat, and rolled on top of him.

Dorothea.

His heart twisted at the thought of his sister, a painful spiral of recollections and regret cutting into him. In his memories, she remained perpetually young, her curly locks flowing under floppy straw hats, and her white linen dresses adorned by oversized amaranth or azure bows. But that Dorothea, he reminded himself, no longer existed. He could not find her in the woman at the breakfast table today who threatened ruination, her curls held artfully in an elaborate coiffure, and an ornamented brooch adorning her dress, carefully placed gems hiding the pointed pin that held the jewel there.

The sister he once knew was gone. Perhaps the pain of her fiancé’s death had propelled her to replace decency with ambition, or perhaps she was simply shocked by how poorly he measured to the ton’s gauge of goodness.

Perhaps the blame is all mine.

He clenched his fists and closed his eyes. A hundred deprecating remarks about sodomites, uttered by those around him, rushed toward him, and a thousand moments of self-anguish and disgust followed them.

Sebastian stirred underneath him, rousing him from his doubts.

He remembered the night before and Sebastian’s questions. “You do not want to be engaged. Not really.”

Sebastian continued to avoid William’s eyes, his gaze fixed away. William doubted the wall was as fascinating as Sebastian seemed to find it.

Sebastian was not pushing him away though. His finger circled William’s hand, causing William’s nerves to jump with each sweet soft brush.

He sighed, allowing himself to give in to the sensation. The heat from Sebastian’s body warmed him, and his cock found particular pleasure, growing fuller with the miracle of Sebastian next to him. This was it. This was what life was about. This was what he had longed for his entire life.

In fact, if the hardness poking William was any indication, Sebastian’s thoughts were very much aligned with his.

Fire burned throughout William’s body.

He turned to face Sebastian. The man blinked, his long, thick eyelashes teasing him. William swooped down and kissed the hollow of Sebastian’s throat, moving up across his face, over his cheeks, and then stopping at his right ear, where his kisses grew longer. He nibbled on Sebastian’s ear, caressing it with his tongue.

He leaned forward. He wanted to kiss every inch of this man. He wanted this man to be happy.

He quivered at the sensation of Sebastian’s body against his, and his heart jumped when Sebastian’s cock rose up to meet him.

“You favor me,” William said. “Do not claim you do not.”

Sebastian’s voice was rough, “The servants . . .”

William nodded. He leaped out of bed and locked the two doors which led from Sebastian’s room.

“Do not worry,” William said, climbing back on top of Sebastian, nestling against his body. “You’re safe with me.”

He needed to touch Sebastian’s skin. He pulled him up and feverishly slid his nightshirt off.

He was gorgeous.

He feasted on Sebastian’s creamy skin and his stiff, rosy nipples. Blond hair lay scattered on the hard planes of his chest, and he ran his fingers across it, enjoying the prickly sensation and the warmth emanating from the beautiful man beneath him. He bent down and enveloped one of Sebastian’s nipples with his tongue. He slid it into his mouth, still not quite believing that his yearning for Sebastian had been answered. Sebastian’s chest tasted salty; a sheen of sweat covered him. William sucked with greater force, anxious for him to feel wonderful things. A low moan answered him.

Sebastian’s back arched, and William slipped his arm beneath the small of his back. He moved to Sebastian’s other nipple and smiled as the man shuddered and gasped underneath him.

He lowered his face to Sebastian’s, greeted by soft lips still swollen from when William had last kissed him.

A jolt of pleasure ran through him as he realized Sebastian was kissing him. The kisses were gentle, tentative, but unmistakable. He sighed as Sebastian teased his lips open and sank into Sebastian’s embrace.

Heat rushed to his face, and his cock throbbed. Sebastian’s tongue pressed into him, and William ran his fingers through his silky hair.

He settled against Sebastian and nudged his cock next to his. A surge of satisfaction rushed through him. He grinned, wanting, needing to see and touch this man.

And now he could.

Sebastian was excited; Sebastian craved him. What he considered impossible had not been so at all.

He rolled aside and stroked Sebastian’s cock, which was magnificent, just like him. He could have looked at it for longer and admired its form, but a hand interrupted him.

Sebastian giggled. Happiness consumed William. Sebastian’s hand was on his back, and then it coaxed William back onto him.

“You’re strong,” William gasped.

“You needn’t act so shocked,” Sebastian said hoarsely.

Sebastian’s hands were on him, touching him. Touching his cock. Sebastian moaned and thrust against him.

William smiled as he grasped both of their cocks. He lined them together, enjoying the sensation of feeling Sebastian so intimately.

“William,” Sebastian pleaded.

Sebastian’s breath warmed his neck. William wrapped his arms around him again and nibbled at his ear. And then he began to thrust against him, the sensations magnified because of the passion they shared.

For a moment, Sebastian lay still. His uneven gasps grew into pleased murmurs, and Sebastian moved underneath him, mirroring William’s actions.

William kissed a trail from Sebastian’s ear to his lips and sank into Sebastian’s warm, wet mouth.

Warmth filled him as they moved against each other. William had no concept of time, feeling as though he floated, his happiness lifting him to the heights of eagles as effortlessly as if he had sprouted feathered wings. He slid his arm deeper down the covers, clutching Sebastian tighter and smiling as Sebastian moaned softly, “William.”

A knock sounded. The two men stopped, glancing at each other. Sebastian untangled himself from William’s arms, and his ear turned to the door. William shivered at the sudden lack of contact, his eyes drawn to Sebastian’s long, slender figure, and at the manner in which Sebastian’s hair hung over his brow.

The soprano strains of female voices drifted inside, shattering their solitude. Dorothea and Penelope. They were speaking with the manservant.

Guilt filled him. This could only forebode disaster. Here he lay, a naked Sebastian beside him, with his sister, the man’s fiancée, right outside. Though propriety would never permit Dorothea and Penelope to breach Sebastian’s chambers, should he be discovered, no explanation would be possible to dismiss his presence with innocence. Especially since Dorothea at least had seen them embracing the night before.

And if Sebastian’s manservant mentioned William was with him at all, or if he lied and said William was not there, and they later saw William . . . that would be most suspicious.

Would the manservant recognize what was happening? Might he suspect? His heart jerked, and he clutched Sebastian.

With a huff, Sebastian shoved William away.” We cannot do this. Men cannot be with men, and I cannot be unfaithful to your sister.”

He leaped out of bed and scrambled to find his clothes. He dressed in haste. William did the same, his chest tightening. His limbs tingled, and he struggled to button his shirt; his arms had turned to lead.

“Don’t tell anyone you were here,” Sebastian whispered. His eyes flashed, round with fear. “You need to leave.”

William nodded, cursing himself for putting that despair in Sebastian’s voice, and they continued to dress quickly. William tucked his cock into his trousers, willing it to go down.

“There’s a back exit,” Sebastian whispered. “For the servants. Come.”

William followed him through the other door, leading through what must be his manservant’s room and entering the servants’ quarters. The area lacked the luxuriousness of the rest of the apartment. Paint peeled at the corners of the bare walls.

His heart raced. To have discovered Sebastian most definitely was physically attracted to him had made him feel capable of conquering the world, and to have that discovery hampered by his sister tore at his heart. He felt unsettled, wary of Sebastian’s sudden coldness, explainable though it might be.

Sebastian could not marry Dorothea. She did not love him. She was, after all, only recently out of mourning. And Sebastian, he seemed certain, did not love her. They would make each other miserable.

William followed Sebastian down the stairs on tiptoe, his heart beating and his mind filled. They would need to talk. But first, they would need to get out of the apartment without anyone observing.

Chapter Eleven

Sebastian’s heart pounded as he hurried through the servants’ corridors with William. The smoky scent of once-lit tallow candles choked him. He combed his hair with his fingers, anxious to present some semblance of respectability. William needed to escape before his visitors noticed him, and he would do his utmost to help him. He could not let William destroy his relationship with his sister. Dorothea was all William had left.

Sebastian trembled, thinking about what they had nearly done.

He glanced behind to make certain William followed him. Even now, he hardly believed William was with him, and he fought the temptation to sneak into a broom closet and finish what they had started. His body longed to rush into William’s arms, press against his large, muscular form, and run his fingers over the chiseled planes of his face.

But he had responsibilities, and as much as he desired to forget them, he could not. And he would not allow William to risk his career and family for him.

He threw open a door, nearly colliding with Sam, his coachman, who stood outside the servants’ entrance. Sam’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Sebastian slowed his pace, attempting to control his breathing and force his legs into a casual stroll.

“Just examining the servants’ halls.” His voice sounded too high in his ears. He turned to William, averting his eyes hastily from the man’s form, his now-disheveled cravat not succeeding in making him any less handsome. “All in order, wouldn’t you say?”

“Um, yes,” said William, striving to support his statement. “The quarters are rather charming. I quite enjoyed the shade of white on the walls.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed. They must have appeared ridiculous. How was it that even now, in front of his servant, all he wanted to do was usher William back to his room? Nothing good would come of that inclination. Their moments of pleasure had already produced more heartache than he was prepared for.

“Sam.” Sebastian cleared his throat. “You are just the man I wanted. Please prepare the carriage for departure.”

“Of course.” Sam’s eyes wandered to William once more.

“Don’t mind him.” Sebastian forced his voice to be nonchalant. “It’s probably best if nobody knows he was here.”

William’s eyes sparkled for the first time since the ladies interrupted them. “I’m very shy.”

Sebastian’s lips rose. His heart leaped in his chest, and he longed to throw himself against William. Instead, he paused, his eyes on the waiting coachman.

Sam nodded. He tilted his head and then grinned. “You’re the duke. I’ll prepare the carriage.”

“Good.” Sebastian’s shoulders slumped, and his back began to lose its rigidity. He liked Sam and was glad he had taken him to London from Yorkshire. The man had known him when he was still a squire, and he was pleased he did not have to draw up every ounce of aristocratic power he might pretend to possess in an effort to contain a scandal. He exhaled. Perhaps on reflection, it was not completely unseemly for a duke to take an officer of His Majesty’s army to inspect servants’ quarters.

“Where will we go?” William whispered when Sam’s head was turned. “Elsewhere in London? My place is occupied, but . . .”

Sebastian had a sudden vision of them sharing a carriage together to the south coast, their thighs pressed against each other for the day-long journey—but the image was impossible, relegated to other unfulfilled dreams. They had nearly been discovered. His voice quivered, “You should return home.”

“Well,” said William, perhaps anxious not to upset Sebastian further or to attract Sam’s attention. “Good-bye for now, then.”

Sebastian nodded. William’s face twisted and he turned away, his steps sounding on the cobblestones.

Sebastian denied himself a last glimpse of William’s masculine form, fearful he would never remove his eyes.

“Sam?” Sebastian asked.

The coachman stopped shifting his legs. “Yes, Your Grace?”

“I want to go to Sussex today. In fact I would like to go as soon as possible.”

“Today?” Sam swallowed and ran his fingers over his vertically striped waistcoat. “Very well, Your Grace.”

“You need not work so hard to keep the surprise out of your voice,” said Sebastian.