She grabbed his hands and pulled him into a twirl with her. Startled, he stumbled, then caught himself and impulsively whirled her. She laughed and threw her arms around him in a sudden hug.
Rafe stiffened. His heart raced at the touch of her soft body against his, and his cock hardened. Her lemony fragrance filled his head. Her soft breath blew across his jaw. In his imagination, he tasted her tender skin. The temptation to lower his head and ravage her mouth almost overwhelmed him. All he had to do was bend his head down. What was he thinking? He grasped her upper arms and moved her back.
“We’re in clear view of anyone coming by, Ellie.” He heard the harshness in his voice. He had to discourage her. His desire for her increased every time she came to see him, and his control lessened. “Must I remind you I have no intention to marry? If this is your way of trying to compromise me, forget it. I won’t marry you.”
“You are the most conceited man. Did I say I wanted to marry you? Here.” She grasped his arm and walked him back to the front door. “I’d thought we might visit the stable. However, I realize I need to go. Good day, Lord Leyland.”
He stood at the door and listened to her step into the stirrup and ride off. A mixture of relief and sadness swept over him. She’d never return. He should be glad.
But I’m not
.
Chapter Three
Ellie had cried herself to sleep. Still, her first thought this morning was of Rafe. She’d failed. There was no way to break that hard shell he’d forged around his heart. She had to let go of her dream. How could she do that? Whenever they were close, her heart beat double-time. She yearned for his touch. She’d never responded to any other man in any way close to the way Rafe made her feel.
Mama and Papa had both let her know they expected her to accept an offer this year. Rafe had told her very clearly he had no intention of marrying, at least not her.
If she had to give him up, then she wanted him to make love to her once. To be her first. Then she’d be the dutiful daughter and wife for the rest of her life. At least she’d have one wonderful memory.
Wiping tears from her eyes, she decided to visit Rafe one more time. She’d wait a week. Maybe he’d find he missed her. The party was a few weeks away. Two of her most determined suitors planned to attend. Time was running out for her to make a decision.
Ellie filled her days with visiting the neighbors with her mother. Several times Rafe had been mentioned. He was well liked, and the people from the village worried about him being alone. Several of the men had attempted a visit and had been turned away.
This particular morning, they visited Mrs. Brown. She leaned forward in an apparent desire to disclose some interesting tidbit. “My dear husband rode over to visit Lord Leyland last week.” She lowered her voice. “As he rode up, he thought he saw a woman ride away. He wasn’t able to get a close enough look to recognize her.”
“Perhaps one of the village ladies took him some baked items to welcome him back to this area,” Lady Upton said.
“No,”—Mrs. Brown shook her head—“I’ve discreetly checked. No one has mentioned going there. Certainly a lady would not go alone.” She leaned back and raised her chin in finality.
Mrs. Brown wouldn’t have the first idea on how to be discreet. Ellie studied her mother’s expression. Mama had never cared for gossip. Thankfully, Mama diverted the topic of conversation onto another neighbor’s new grandchild. Ellie sipped her tea and tried to not bring any attention to herself. Shortly, her mother tactfully ended the visit, and they were on their way home.
“Mrs. Brown is such a gossip, but otherwise she is a sweet lady.” Mama turned in the carriage to face Ellie. “Do you have any idea who might have visited the earl? If you know of a friend being so careless, you might warn her of the danger to her reputation.”
“I will visit my friend, Violet, tomorrow. Perhaps she knows who the woman is that was seen near the Earl’s home.”
“The weather is better. I suppose you are anxious to be out riding. Just be careful.”
Ellie stared at her mother. She hated being less than truthful with her. Did she suspect something? One more time to see Rafe. If nothing changed, she must stop. People were curious. The risk to her reputation had just increased.
* * * *
Booth didn’t say anything when she arrived. He opened the door and nodded toward Rafe’s study. Ellie walked the short distance, knocked, and entered when she heard Rafe’s deep voice.
“I don’t suppose I need to ask who has come to visit. Only one person continues to ignore my orders.”
“That’s your problem. You are used to your family, and Booth, jumping to do what you say in that harsh, demanding tone. I’m not afraid of you.” Her heart beat double-time.
Liar, liar
.
Rafe stood and moved carefully toward her. His prowling steps reminded her of how a tiger might stalk his prey. Part fear and part fascination held her in place.
“Maybe you should be.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Her nerves made her snap.
“I’ll have to show you, in some way, the repercussions that might occur when a proper young lady doesn’t behave as expected by society. There is one thing I’m sure I can still do.” He moved quicker than she expected and picked her up in his arms. He backed up until his legs hit a chair, and then he sat with her on his lap.
“You’ve been asking for this. I can’t stop myself any longer.” He tipped her face up. She saw the struggle in his expression. He held himself rigid. She knew she’d never get this close to him again. Heart beating rapidly in her chest, she made the final move.
Ellie leaned forward and brushed her lips across his hard jaw. The air in the room sizzled around them. Ignoring the deadly quiet and encouraged that he hadn’t pushed her off his lap, she kissed his cheek and along his temple, and when his eyes closed, she lightly kissed each eyelid. His masculine scent filled her nostrils, and his slight stubble rasped her skin. A shiver swept down her body. A deep yearning for this man increased her determination. She refused to give up.
His body went as rigid as a statue when her tongue traced the outline of his lips, then she felt his slight shudder. His hand tightened in her hair, and his lips covered hers. She gasped. Holding her tight in his arms, Rafe swept his tongue into her mouth, insatiably tasting every spot.
Heat sparkled along her nerves. Tentatively, her tongue wrapped around his. He tasted of spice and the woodsy scent of his wine. His mouth softened as one hand slid down to settle over her breast.
She jerked against him, her heart in her throat.
“You like that? Good.” His lips followed his hand, nibbling at her ear, her throat, and kissing the curve between shoulder and neck where her pulse pounded. In her lower abdomen, a deep craving swept through her.
At first, she didn’t realize he’d opened the top of her gown until his warm hand cupped her breast and his finger circled her peak. Feverish desire seared into her. She moaned and held tightly to him.
Slowly, he lowered his head. His mouth suckled on one taut nipple. Hot desire swept through her. An ache and dampness in her lower region increased her longing for him. She hungered for something to quench the inflamed torment.
She slipped her fingers through his thick, shiny, black hair and pulled him closer. He chuckled.
“No,” she whispered when he raised his mouth. Then she realized he only moved across to her other side. One hand cuddled her right breast while his mouth suckled the left. She was going to explode, and yet she wanted more. She moved restlessly on his lap. Her back arched to give him better access.
He placed one hand under her skirt to caress her leg. His fingers trailed upward to the juncture of her thighs. He slid one finger across the soft hair and barely into her opening. The intrusion caused an unpleasant fullness. Briefly, she moved away. He paused. Then his thumb began to rub the nub at the top of her lower lips in slow, circular movements. Fire raced through her. She moaned and wriggled against his hand.
“Don’t stop,” she begged.
He raised his head and found her mouth as he continued to touch her below. His finger again slipped into her opening, farther inside her tight sheath. The pressure startled her, but then unbelievable pleasure raced through her as he moved his finger in and out. Each time he went in a little deeper, and then he added a second finger.
A ripple began to form inside her. The sensation swelled like a wave beginning to crest. A lightning bolt of pleasure sparked up her spine. He swallowed her scream with his hard kiss. Heart tripping, she held on to him as heat and pleasure flooded her body, making her legs weak. She fell limply against him.
“What just happened?” she asked breathlessly.
He leaned back and brushed damp hair off her forehead. His fingers traced the curve of her eyebrows, over the softness of her cheek, and around the edge of her lips.
“I’m an ass,” he said softly. “Nothing should have happened between us.”
Ellie’s face heated at his words.
He straightened her skirt, buttoned her blouse, and stood her up.
“There is a chair around here. Sit in it,” he said. “I’m sorry I am unable to pull one up for you.”
She moved the chair close to him and sat. “I’m right in front of you.”
He leaned back and appeared to study her.
“Can you see at all?” she asked.
“Shadows, a small amount of light, no color, no detail. Not enough to count.” He shrugged. “Pour me a drink, would you, please?”
Ellie saw the decanter and glass on a mahogany table by the wall. She walked across the room and with trembling hands poured the wine into a crystal glass. A drop of the red wine spilled on the white doily. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself before rejoining him across the room.
“Here.” Her voice cut through the silence.
She handed him the drink. “Is this how you handle problems?”
“You’re a brave little thing. You throw yourself right in where others fear to go. But I have a few questions for you. You must be around twenty?”
She nodded her head before realizing her mistake. “Yes, I’m twenty exactly.”
“And you’ve had how many seasons in town?”
She laughed halfheartedly. “I suppose you think I’m throwing myself at you because I’m an old maid. This next season will be my third.”
“And you’ve had no offers of marriage?”
She heard surprise in his voice. How would he react if he knew she’d waited for his return? That he was the only man she desired for a husband?
“Three,” she said.
“Three offers?” He raised his brow.
In spite of everything, a giggle escaped her. “You don’t have to sound surprised. I may not be a beauty like my two older sisters, but I’m not ugly.”
“How is your sister, Claudia?”
Mentioning Claudia after what had just happened made her chest ache and her throat tighten. But then this hadn’t meant anything to him. He’d experienced much more with many beautiful women. She was sure. She’d seen how they threw themselves in his path.
“Claudia is fine. She married Viscount Clark. I believe he’s a friend of yours.”
“Old Andy married? I hadn’t heard. But back to you, none of the three offers were agreeable?”
“They were all most agreeable gentlemen and, as my parents said, very eligible and appropriate for my consideration.”
“You did not agree, apparently.”
“I did not love them.” As soon as the word slipped out, she knew she’d said too much.
He laughed harshly. “Love is an overrated emotion. Most women realize that. You didn’t stop me today. In fact, you incited the incident.” He cocked his head. “I hope there are no expectations that what we just did has anything to do with love.” He frowned.
“Of course not. I just want to join in the conversation. My married sisters and friends giggle and whisper and I am left out.”
“You still can’t say anything without ruining your reputation,” he snapped.
Enough was enough. But unfortunately he was right. The folly of her actions hit square in her chest. She shouldn’t be here falling for him more and more each and every minute.
“Fine then, good-bye.” She pushed her chair back, and holding her posture stiffly, she walked to the door. Tears pooled in her eyes as she snapped the door shut behind her. What had she expected? That after one touch of her lips he’d fall into her arms? She’d been a fool.
Booth was not in sight, thank goodness. She hurried to her horse then galloped away confused, hurt, and angry.
* * * *
Rafe held his head in his hands. Damn him. His cock still pulsed with need, wanting only her.
He’d missed her all week. Hope that she’d come had warred with relief that he’d gotten his message across. The days had passed as before she’d begun to visit, only now they were worse—darker and lonelier. How had she exhausted his defenses and become important to him? He didn’t want to want her. But he did. Oh, yes, very much, and not just her body. While his desire for her still hummed through him, he also wanted the sunshine that came with her and the fragile optimism she’d stirred. He’d sworn never to believe in hopeful expectations, not ever again.