The Duke's Temptation (31 page)

Chapter 46

Elizabeth groaned at the brightness piercing her eyelids. Maybe if she squeezed them tight she could block out the morning rays. Unfortunately, the only thing her efforts were met with was a dull ache in her head.

Not yet ready to face the day and the decisions she’d made, deep in the night, she rolled over in an attempt to flee the sun. There was no escaping it. Seeing no other option, she resorted to something she hadn’t done since childhood and pulled the blanket completely over her head.

As always, it worked perfectly, except for cutting off her supply of fresh air. The stuffiness rekindled too many memories of the carriage she’d been imprisoned in.

Accepting defeat, she flung the covers to her waist. If only she could hide in bed all day. Then she wouldn’t have to inform Gabe of her decision to return to London.

She started to slip from under the covers when her door burst open. She swallowed a shriek and pulled the blanket up to her chin, scooting as far down as she could go, all the while keeping an eye on the door.

The height of the bed gave her a disadvantage and skewed her line of sight. It wasn’t until a certain dark, curly head of hair was halfway to the bed that the panic drained from her body. She snickered to think herself such a fool as to hide from a three-year-old.

A squeal, combined with an erratic bounce on the bed announced Phoebe’s presence, as if her barging in the door would have gone unnoticed.

Elizabeth feigned sleep. Phoebe must have thought herself sneaky because her tiny body slowly crawled across the mattress before she stopped next to Elizabeth’s head. Even if she had managed to sleep through the banging of the door and the child’s squeal, the constant giggles would have given Phoebe away.

Stealthily, Elizabeth kept quiet and waited until she sensed Phoebe right next to her face. When the moment was just right, Elizabeth sprang into action, throwing off the blankets and scooping up the giggling child with one arm.

They came to rest at the foot of the bed, both in a fit of laughter.

“That was fun. Do it again,” Phoebe begged.

Elizabeth laughed harder. If only life could have stayed as simple as it was when she had been Phoebe’s age.

“Good morning to you too, sweet.”

Phoebe giggled sweetly. “Papa said it is time to get up. He has a surprise for you.”

A surprise? She was almost afraid to find out what it was.

Well it didn’t matter. She already knew she had to leave Gabe and all the temptation he presented.

She owed it to herself and the person she’d become since the day she’d offered her assistance in Marcus’s study. Everything that had happened made her realize life was ephemeral at best and it would be foolish to waste any time waiting for something that might never come about. She must face the fact Gabe would never love her with the same passion and depth as she loved him. Such a love would only be worth anything if shared equally.

Last night, she’d sat and watched the moon finally break through the storm clouds. For hours she’d pondered, until she’d reached her decision shortly before the sunrise stained the horizon a glowing orange.

What to do next wasn’t as clear. Should she tell Gabe of her decision? Or just leave? She knew he wouldn’t stop her. He was too honorable to present an illicit relationship.

Even if something changed and he offered her marriage, she couldn’t renounce her conviction and marry him, knowing one day he would realize he loved Cecilia in a way he could never love her.

No matter how much she desired to, she couldn’t stay abed and ponder it all day.

Best to change the subject, then. “Have you eaten yet?” Elizabeth asked.

Phoebe shook her head. “Too busy.”

Elizabeth would wager her favorite bonnet the child had been occupied playing pirates.

“Why don’t you and Jane find something to eat? I’ll be down as soon as I’m dressed.”

The idea of food sent Phoebe’s feet flying, but not before she placed a gentle feather kiss on Elizabeth’s cheek.

She fought back tears as the tiny girl bounced from the room. It hurt the very center of her knowing she would never watch Phoebe mature into a woman.

It wasn’t until she was dressed and on her way out of her room, that a thought froze her in place.

This could be one of the last times she ever saw Gabe.

Settling her resolve, Elizabeth squared her shoulders and strode down the hall. All the while praying someday it wouldn’t feel like she had a boulder sitting on her chest.

“Wilkes, do you know where I can find Gabe?”

“Good morning, miss.” Wilkes greeted her with an undefined twinkle in his eye. “I’ve been instructed to direct you to the pavilion the moment you arrived downstairs. His Grace is waiting for you there.”

She somehow managed to stammer out her thanks before Wilkes hastened from her sight, leaving her bemused.

First Phoebe and now Wilkes. What was going on?

She might as well do as Wilkes instructed. She wouldn’t discover the answer until she did.

As soon as she had made her way out the door and down the front stairs, she turned left and followed the stone path around the side of the house. The sun glistened off the rain dappled grass, with enough heat to dry the stones and keep her boots dry.

She rounded the side of the house and came to a standstill. What did the maddeningly handsome man think he was doing?

And handsome he was, standing in the center of the pavilion with his broad shoulders covered tightly by his dark blue coat. The bronze of his skin was set off so beautifully by the white shirt collar and cravat.

And his hair—she would give anything to be able to run her fingers through its thick darkness one more time.

She sobered instantly. Seeking him out with a purpose, she couldn’t afford to have the mere sight of him distract her.

Somehow, her feet found the strength to carry her forward. Until she finally stood at the bottom of the stairs, her gaze trapped in his.

He flashed a grin that caused her stomach to clench in desire. “Good morning, Minx.”

Why did he have to hold such a power over her? Simply being in his vicinity created mayhem on her senses.

She tried to keep the despair from her voice. “Good morning.”

He offered his hand. She hesitated, but when he cocked an eyebrow she knew she was being foolish.

Her fingers held a slight tremble as she placed her hand in his, biting her lip to keep from whimpering when the touch of his warm palm sent heat straight up her arm.

Be strong.
In an attempt to break the spell, she focused her attention on climbing the two low steps instead of drowning in the dark chocolate of his eyes.

Even when she reached the top, she refused to gaze into them.

He didn’t seem to sense her trepidation as he murmured, “You look beautiful. Not even the sun can match your exquisiteness.”

That got her attention. Gabe had never been one to spout flowery compliments. She narrowed her regard. Something was amiss.

“I trust you slept well. When I checked on you, you were sound asleep. I don’t know who was more adorable, Phoebe with her dreamy expression or you and your gentle snoring.”

“I don’t snore,” she retorted.

“I beg to differ, my dear. However, before you get yourself in a snit, I’ll have you know I find your snoring quite appealing. In fact, I scarcely settled for kissing your cheek before I left you to your slumber.”

She didn’t know if she should be upset he’d entered her bedroom uninvited or that he thought her snoring was endearing.

He grew serious. “I thought I’d lost you. When we finally caught up to the carriage, I said a prayer of gratitude for the first time in more years than I can count.”

There was no denying she owed him her life. “I didn’t thank you.”

“No praise necessary. I should be apologizing to you—again. You never should have been placed in a position of danger. Besides, I have more to thank you for.”

“Whatever else?”

“With complete disregard for your own safety—which don’t think we won’t discuss another day—you did what you could to protect Phoebe. In all my years of boxing, I’d never been hit so hard that every breath had been punched from my body. But the moment I’d heard Phoebe had been taken I thought I’d never breathe again.”

Elizabeth stared at him in disbelief. Could it be true? Had Gabe finally acknowledged he loved his daughter?

“So, thank you.”

His intense regard unnerved her. She didn’t deserve his praise. “I’d do anything for her.”

He took a step closer, bringing his hard body almost in contact with hers. She had to dig her heels into the floor to keep from erasing the final space between them.

“I am fully aware of that. You do realize what else you did while protecting my daughter, don’t you?”

She shook her head mutely.

“You fought through your fears to make sure she was safe. I noticed as soon as I’d opened the door of the carriage how you were fighting it. I always knew you had the power to overcome such fright.”

Her cheeks heated at his praise.

“As much as I wanted to tell you all that, it is not why I requested your company. I have something to ask you.”

Her stomach tightened. Before he continued and possibly said words he couldn’t take back, she needed to tell him she was leaving. “Gabe, there is something—”

“In a minute. It may be ungentlemanly but I find myself unable to wait.”

He shared a grin so full of devilment her knees went weak.

“You see, I’ve come to realize not only is my heart capable of loving you beyond distraction, but my life would be an empty shell without you filling it with constant exasperation.” He reached for her hands. “I’d rather face a lifetime of our bickering—and subsequent making up, than endure one moment without you. Elizabeth Blakely, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Oh, no.
She should have gone first.

“I can’t.” Her throat closed around the words.

Gabe’s eyes narrowed. “Can’t? What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t marry you.”

For a moment he didn’t say anything, just stared hard, almost into her, as if trying to see within her heart. If he had such a power, he’d watch it break beneath an abundance of pain.

“You don’t love me?”

“How can you ask that? I love you so much it hurts.”

“Then why not marry me?”

“Because you don’t love
me
!” she shouted through her tears.

Chapter 47

Not love her? Hadn’t she been listening? He’d just poured his heart out. How the hell had this gotten so bungled?

“Didn’t you hear me? I just laid out quite clearly how much I love you,” Gabe sputtered.

“I heard you.”

How had he thought her exasperating nature attractive? Before he strangled her, he stepped back and paced to the rear of the pavilion.

He rounded on her. “If that is so, then how can you doubt I love you?”

She looked everywhere but at him. “Because I know.”

Instead of her untangling the web of confusion clogging his head, it became more perplexing.

“Would you care to elaborate?”

“I found the letters. You were going to marry Cecilia.” Her voice was soft but he heard every word as they pierced his heart.

Since he didn’t know what letters she spoke of, he didn’t have to feign ignorance. However, he did wish he could say the same about marrying Cecilia.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

That lit a fire in her. “How about an explanation? How can I believe you love me when you were prepared to spend your life with someone else?”

He took a step toward her but stopped when she raised a hand. “Please. Don’t come closer. I can’t think clearly when you are near.”

At least he still had
some
effect on her. The minor fact reassured him somewhat. It didn’t matter how trivial it was, he would take it.

“Elizabeth, that was all in the past. All before you had grown into the wonderful woman you are and came back into my life.” He struggled to respect her request to keep his distance. He had to hold his muscles tight to keep from reaching for her. “Well before my desire for you had become a fixture in my life, my relationship and possible marriage to Cecilia had long since ended. That horse had run its race moments after leaving the starting line.”

He took a tentative step and breathed easier when she didn’t stop him. “The night you asked if I loved Cecilia, I never gave you a complete answer. I owe you the whole truth.” He took another small step. “Will you listen to me long enough to explain?”

Her eyes had shuttered and for a moment his heart ceased. What if he couldn’t get her to listen? He sure as hell wouldn’t be able to live without her. Not after knowing how it felt to love her.

When she finally graced him with a slight nod, his heart resumed its erratic pounding in his chest.

“I would like to stroll a bit. Care to accompany me? I promise to keep my distance.”

Her expression remained empty. “All right.”

The grass being wet, he kept to the path that wound through the garden and would eventually reach the edge of a small pond. True to his word, he never reached for her hand and the path was wide enough to walk side-by-side without brushing arms.

They meandered in silence. She seemed to accept he needed more time.

He had to convince her he loved
her
. And the only way was to tell her everything. They were almost through the garden before he started.

“As I mentioned before, Cecilia had been new to London. She had an air about her. Young bucks and old men alike sniffed around, hoping to be her first protector. In the end, I beat out everyone else, but for me it hadn’t been about a conquest. I didn’t set out to lure her to my bed. I honestly enjoyed spending time with her.”

He was probably breaking every rule by revealing his past feelings for another woman to the woman he loved. If he wanted a future for him and Elizabeth, he had to tell all.

“After two weeks with her I felt as if I’d done it. Established a relationship with someone who hadn’t been ensnared by my father. Someone whom I’d let into my life of my own choosing and not my father’s.

“Everything seemed perfect. For once in my life I felt freedom. There was no need to look over my shoulder to see if someone lurked, ready to report to my father.”

He slid his gaze to Elizabeth. Her puckered brow was the only indication his words bothered her.

“It wasn’t until after I’d fallen too deep that I realized I’d been deceived by the woman I had thought I could love.” His voice turned bitter. “If not for pure happenstance I probably would have gone along in my idealized world, thinking nothing could touch me.”

His gut still burned with betrayal.

“One night I couldn’t attend her performance, so I went to her town home to wait for her. Looking for something to occupy myself while I waited, I rummaged through a few items on her desk looking for the day’s paper. I hadn’t been looking for anything else. I had no reason to.

“At first I couldn’t believe what I read. Despite holding the paper in my hand and seeing it with my very eyes, I didn’t believe it—didn’t want to believe it. But, as the seconds ticked by I could no longer deny it.”

Lingering anger at Cecilia and ultimately his father caused his voice to go rough. “It was all an illusion. I hadn’t broken free of my father after all. In my hand I held the proof that, even from the grave, my father had orchestrated the entire thing. A letter signed by my father’s solicitor finalizing the details of a contract between my future duchess and the fifth Duke of Wesbrook. Only it wasn’t a marriage contract. My father had set her up in style for the sole purpose to be my mistress. Her own ambitious nature had her agreeing to be my wife. My father might have died two months before I met Cecilia, but he’d already set his plan in motion and had his solicitor carry it out.”

He heard her inhale deeply before she stopped in the middle of the path and turned to him. Her tender lips were held tight and her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t say anything. Instead she stood silent, holding his eyes with hers.

They’d managed to clear the garden and were now far enough from the house for seclusion. The tall hedges lining the cobblestone encased them in privacy.

He sliced the silence with the harsh edge of his words. “With the help of his solicitor, my father had arranged for Cecilia’s job at the theater, something she had aspired to achieve her entire life. His only condition was for her to whore herself to his son.”

He knew his eyes flashed with rage, but there was no containing the fury that blazed through him. As if it had happened today, instead of four years ago.

“When I confronted Cecilia, she didn’t even have the courtesy to deny it. Moreover, she didn’t regret I’d found out.”

That had hurt the most. Being a pathetic chump, he probably would have forgiven her. If only she had given some indication she cared and apologized for what his father had made her do.

Gabe rubbed a hand across his forehead, fighting the pain of the memories. “At first I assumed my father had forced her to do it. No one knew better than I how he thrived on manipulating people.”

His hand fell to his side. “I swear Cecilia had found delight in pointing out how she’d willingly gone along with the plan. What I’d felt for Cecilia died that night—if it was even real to begin with. The woman I loved—asked to marry—never existed.” His eyes pleaded for her to believe him.

He took the risk she would push him away and placed his hands on her shoulders. “It is different with you. I know you. I know the wonderful person you are. And no matter what failings you believe you have, I couldn’t love you more.”

He slid his hands up her neck and framed her face. “Nothing would ever stop me from loving you. Even if I can’t convince you to marry me, I will forever love you.”

His heart pounded in his ears as he waited for her to say something. He’d done all he could. She held all the cards now.

She didn’t disappoint. “You’ve always saved me. It didn’t matter if I happened to be a crying child or held captive, you have
always
been my hero.” She caught hold of his wrist. “I wish I could’ve saved you just once. Kept you from being hurt. Especially from the man who should have protected—”

“You
have
saved me. If not for you and your constant faith in me, I would never have come to love my daughter. I’d never have started to confront my past and begin to move beyond it. To start believing I could be the man to give you everything you wanted. Everything you need.”

He skimmed his thumbs across her cheeks, savoring the softness of her skin, all the while bringing her closer to his body.

“You saved me so I can finally be free to love you.”

Tears swarmed her eyes and he feared she would spurn him once more. He felt his world end. Instead, he was knocked back on his heels when she flung her arms around his neck.

“Oh, Gabe, I love you, too. Probably more than is prudent.”

His arms folded around her—as if she’d been fitted for his body—and he lowered his head to breathe her sweet scent. “Does this mean you’ll marry me?”

Her eyes were full of mischief. “Yes. I’ll marry you, Lord Pigheaded. I never should have doubted your love.”

“From this day forward, I’ll never give you cause to do so, Dizzy Lizzy.”