The Effects of Falling (The Weight of Rain Duet Book 2) (34 page)

As Kash stands beside me, his arm securely around my shoulders, I realize the fall that ended my riding career wasn’t my first fall, nor was it my biggest. That occurred the day I met him. That day, I fell more in love with riding, with the prospect of being part of a family, and even with myself, and the effects of loving him have brought me a relationship with the most special and awesomely amazing little girl along with a best friend, a career that I am passionate about, a brother, traditions, friendships, a father figure who has always accepted me as another daughter, and the greatest love of my life—him.

And I don’t plan on ever recovering from a single effect.

“A
UNTIE SUMMER,” I
repeat, making the same exaggerated expressions I did twelve years ago when Mercedes also required support when sitting on my lap. “You’re going to say it. I know you are!”

“Give him a break. He just mastered crawling. The poor guy’s tired,” King says, slinging a burp rag over his shoulder. “Besides, we’ve got to get him to say Dada, first.”

He doesn’t ask if he can take Asher back; he never does. He takes parenting as seriously and forcefully as he does everything else he loves in life—completely.

Like their entire relationship, Lo and King took parenthood in the opposite order of tradition, just like they had with sleeping together. They got engaged two months after Kash and I did, and a month later, they learned she was three months pregnant. Deciding she wanted to be able to celebrate their wedding and not be several months pregnant, they postponed it to be held this weekend—fourteen months after King proposed, sixteen months after Kash and I became engaged, and ten months after Kash and I said
I do
.

Standing, I stretch my muscles that feel the stress from the past couple of weeks with trying to make sure this day is perfect for Lo and King. My rings glitter in the light as I move to open the fridge, making me smile, as I admire them for several seconds.

“What are you doing?”

My whole body jerks, causing my elbow to painfully collide with the fridge door. “Nothing.”

“Are you hungry again?” Only a twelve-year-old can be so brutally honest with their line of questioning.

“I’m starving today,” I say.

I want to say,
You’ll understand in a few years and also hate this special time of the month when, for a few days, your body decides it doesn’t know the definition of being full before you begin retaining water and half of your pants don’t fit for at least a week.

But I don’t because I’m still hoping she has painless menstrual cycles, gentle heartbreaks, and brief failures.

“Want to go pick up something with me? The fridge is empty.”

“Because you’ve eaten everything,” she says.

“That’s what we call a woman foul,” Lo says, bringing a pillow down on Mercedes’ head and making her squeal. “Remember how I said, ‘we don’t focus on numbers’? The number of times a person eats is another number we don’t comment on, especially not against the person who nearly always has a camera in her hands and keeps the files of her pictures on two separate backup hard drives. Believe me, that stuff will never disappear.”

“I get it. Last week, I ate four slices of pizza,” Mercedes says proudly.

I raise my hand for a high five. “I hope you chased it with grapes or an orange or at least something green.”

“Are you kidding? I was stuffed!”

My laughter joins Lo’s. “You need to finish your homework, so you don’t have to worry about it this weekend,” I remind Mercedes. “Why don’t you go sit down and work on it, and Lo and I will head to the store?”

“You know what happens when you guys shop?” Mercedes asks.

“Yeah, food appears. Duh!” Lo smiles as Mercedes rolls her eyes.

“Call if you think of anything you need.” With a kiss on Mercedes’ head, Lo turns and heads toward the office where King took Asher.

The same month they became engaged, they began constructing the house the three live in now. When King announced their plans, I didn’t know if Mercedes, Kash, or I were more afraid they would be moving across the country, but it turned out they moved across the yard. I can see their house from the living room windows. It was completed only days before Asher arrived, so the basement only recently became Robert’s.

Initially, he was a little reluctant by Mercedes’ idea, and then he realized it was the perfect way to fulfill the compound idea and be able to spend more time with Mercedes, Asher, and the rest of us on a daily basis.

Lo bounds out of the office with a giddy grin, one that I recognize because I still catch sight of my reflection and see me wearing it. It’s one of true bliss.

We head out to the driveway where her new Honda CR-V is parked, one she purchased with money that she earned from selling just four paintings because her work has become so sought after. I cut off her path and head to my truck though, the same one I have driven for over ten years, and hate listening to Kash discuss replacing.

“Are you okay?”

Lo’s question has me jerking my head up in surprise.

“Y
…
ye
…
yeah, yeah, of course. Why?” I sputter. Opening the driver’s door of my truck, I slow my movements to buy a bit of time. I need to gain some control on my emotions.

“I don’t know. You’ve seemed kind of distracted lately. How are things going with Kash?”

“Good. I think he’s considering retiring in a few more years and taking up training. I think working with Mercedes has made him realize how much he loves that side of the business.” I readjust my pants, so the damn button stops digging into my stomach.

“Summer?”

I look over to Lo and find her eyes are wide and searching.

“What?”

“Oh my God.” Her hand connects with my arm. The force might have caused me to wince if I wasn’t so confused by her reaction.

“What?” I ask again.

“You’re pregnant.”

“You’ve lost your mind.”

“You’ve been eating a ton, you’ve been gaining weight, you’ve been distracted, and—oh, yeah, the main piece of evidence—you and Kash! You’re pregnant.”

“What did you just call this? A woman foul? You’ve just made, like, four? Five? Four,” I say, recounting her points. “I’m eating and fat because I’m about to start my period. Pregnant people don’t gain weight until they’re, like, three months or more. You should know this.”

Lo raises her eyebrows, disbelief apparent and louder than any words she could be saying.

We ride the rest of the way in silence, her accusation pinging off every fragment of my imagination possible. To make matters worse, she isn’t fun to shop with this time because she’s on some ridiculous rabbit diet where she’s only eating spinach and other vegetables in order to fit into the wedding dress her old roommates, Charleigh and Allie, made especially for her.

S
EVERAL HOURS HAVE
passed, and I’m still considering Lo’s words as I lie in bed, waiting for Kash to come upstairs. He has been helping King with last-minute wedding plans. If I didn’t love him and Lo so much, I’d likely be throwing down the wife card because I’ve missed my husband.

T
HE BED DIPS
, wakening me from the sleep I fought for over an hour while waiting for him.

He kisses me long and hard, like he knows I am in need of his attention.

“What’s on your mind?” He fishes an arm under my neck and brings us closer.

“I used to have these really weird
…
really vivid dreams about us having children.” I blame Lo for my blurting out this random fact.

“What kind?” he asks.

My eyes blink in rapid succession when he doesn’t seem even slightly surprised.

“You know, the human variety. They’re a fairly standard edition these days.”

Kash’s throat and chest vibrate with a nearly silent chuckle. “Tell me.”

“A boy and a girl.”

“Twins?”

“No. The girl was older.”

My head falls to the bed as Kash pounces on top of me, his eyes bright with mischief.

“What are you doing?” I ask between laughing.

“I believe I vowed to you that I would make your dreams become a reality.”

My laughter is so loud I don’t doubt Mercedes can hear me, possibly even Lo and King from all the way across the yard in their house. “Oh my God. Stop. You sound so cheesy right now.”

He’s smiling as he lowers himself and kisses me again. “How about practice makes perfect?”

I shove his chest, my cheeks aching because I’m laughing so hard.

“How about Mercedes would make the greatest big sister?”

“She will,” I whisper, my tone serious.

Kash jerks his head back, his eyes bright with question.

Reaching for the nightstand, I fish through the drawer until feeling the cool plastic stick.

Moving my gaze from the small plus sign to Kash, I smile to hide the plethora of emotions that have been running rampant since Lo purchased the pregnancy test for me while at the grocery store earlier, and slipped it into my purse with a knowing smile.

My attention shifts around the room with the unease of his silence.

Kash’s palm rests against my cheek, bringing me to focus on his intense stare. “Every day you make my life better. You make
me
better.” Softly, he traces his thumb over my cheekbone.

“I’m nervous,” I admit.

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“What if I’m bad at being a mom?”

“Babe, you’ve been a mom for twelve years, and you’re the greatest mom, ever. This kid…” His eyes widen with thought. “Or
kids
, are going to be so damn lucky just because they’re loved by you, because there is
nothing
in this
world
that tops
that
feeling.”

“I love you,” I whisper.

He grins, and then pulls my shirt free along with my thoughts and fears, discarding them on the other side of our bedroom.

And like I have for so many years, I feel the effects of Kash’s love.

“L
ET’S GO!” KENDALL
cries as she jumps up and tugs on my arm.

The entire yard spins as I stand up. Our Sister Sunday ended here at the house, where Mindi ordered Chinese takeout and we sat around the backyard discussing Kendall’s relationship with Jameson, which drifted to Jenny’s relationship with Paul, and later transformed into my relationship with Eric. I decided that the conversation required alcohol because although I was ready to end things with Eric a couple of weeks ago, I stopped telling my sisters that I am and have even been defending him again lately. I just didn’t want to deal with it, and it gave me an additional reason to avoid Max and his judgment.

Savannah decided that each time I used the phrase, “I don’t know,” I had to take a shot. Trying to explain my relationship with Eric and why I was staying in it while trying to be vague included three shots, which only made it more difficult to avoid those three cursed words. They were relentless and asked several questions knowing I’d respond with the key phrase, leading me to drinking too much.

Mindi, Savannah, and Jenny left Kendall and me to the lounge chairs in the backyard after ensuring we weren’t too drunk to pass out and drown, but apparently not to question that we’d be just drunk enough to do something stupid.

“Go where?” I ask.

“TP Marshall’s!”

I instantly laugh at the thought as I shake my head.

“Come on!” She wraps her fingers around mine and tugs once again, and I willingly follow her through the house. I’ve definitely drank too much, because I can hear a teeny tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that this is a bad idea, but a much louder voice in the forefront of my mind giggles and discusses strategy. That louder voice is 
my
 voice, as I help load Kendall’s arms.

“You look ridiculous.” I laugh at the sight of my sister in her neon green bikini bottom with toilet paper rolls bulging from her arms.

“We have to stay down so no one can see us,” Kendall whispers conspiratorially. I try to keep a straight face, but all I want to do right now is laugh. Everything seems funny, from the fact that we’re about to TP a house to Kendall wearing my bikini top because she thought it would make her boobs look bigger—it doesn’t, but by the time we finished swapping tops she was ready to go.