The Elf Girl (26 page)

Addison was weeping. Large teardrops fell from her eyes and hit the floor. For a moment, it made me feel uncomfortable to see her like that; she usually appeared to be so rock solid and invincible. Then my compassion kicked in when I realized no one could be stone all the time. Vulnerability was just a part of life.

“Addison, I had no idea,” I said. I put my arms around her and then released, knowing now was the time to comfort her. “I’m so sorry.”

She ignored me and continued. I knew she needed to finish before she could succumb to any kind of consoling. “Never before had I experienced that kind of pain. I don’t think I’ll ever experience it again. It wasn’t just the pain of the sword, but also the pain of loss. We fell to the ground, bleeding to death. Except I wasn’t really bleeding. When we parted, I crawled over to him, barely able to stay conscious, and I pressed my hands to his heart to stop the flow of blood. As his eyes closed, I found myself back in my room. To this day, I can still smell his blood on my hands. A ghostly reminder that will never cease to haunt me.”

“You do understand,” I realized.

Addison nodded slowly. “I really do.”

“It’s not your fault, Addison. You were young. You didn’t know.”

“It’s not your fault either, Ramsey. You didn’t know either. You’ve been here only two days. There was no way you could have known.”

I nodded. She was right after all. Nothing but the experience could ever tell you what a connection might end up like.

“I’m going to get dressed. I’ll meet you at your place for breakfast,” I told her.

“Okay,” she said.

Addison walked past me and left the house without another word.

Left standing speechless, I felt guilty and selfish. Here I was complaining about my vision, when Addison had witnessed her father’s death as a young child. I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed, close my eyes, and hide away forever.

Instead, I dressed in tan shorts and a green blouse, put on a pair of brown sandals, grabbed my shoulder bag, and left the house.

Crying wouldn’t save my sister.

***

The house was awkward and silent when I walked in. Addison sat at the table next to Cass, his hand on the small of her back as if to comfort her. His face was stone cold and very serious, more so than I had ever seen. His usual sarcastic smile was gone, replaced with a tight frown and eyes glinted with caution, as if he was preparing himself for anything bad that might happen. He was Addison’s protector, and for a moment, I wondered if he was protecting her from me. Dismissing the thought, I surveyed the rest of the room. Aaliyah sat at the head of the table. She looked like she hadn’t gotten any sleep. Her head hung just above her cup of tea. They all appeared to be lifeless.

Stellan looked like he had been up all night as well. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and his hands shook. He almost didn’t notice me when I walked into the house. It took a few seconds for him to respond. Did I do this to them? Was this my fault? It had to be. I wanted to die. Seeing them like this was torture.

Stellan jumped up from his chair and hurriedly walked over to me. He crushed me against him, his arms wrapped tightly around me as he planted a kiss on my head. Safely in his embrace, I breathed a sigh of relief, and he did the same. I was glad he wasn’t angry with me, but I still felt guilty for making him worry so.

But I wasn’t in his arms long before I began to tremble awkwardly. Even his very touch hurt. Stellan pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. His own were sad and dull. I could feel unwanted tears forming in my eyes. I wiped them away and looked down. He lifted my chin and kissed me gently. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, like the first one we shared outside my house. Rather, it was filled with comfort and the reassurance that he was here to keep me safe.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Addison, Cass, and Aaliyah all watching our encounter. I cleared my throat and stepped away from Stellan. I clasped my hands together and went to take a seat.

Aaliyah got up as soon as I sat and filled a plate of food for me. She must have guessed that I wouldn’t be hungry, because she only put a few pieces of fruit and some bread on the plate. I mouthed a
thank
you
to her and started picking at my meal, but not really eating much of what was on my plate. I couldn’t think of – let alone eat – food at a time like this. Stellan moved to sit beside me.

When I gave up on eating, we sat in silence for many moments. No one knew what to say. Cass finally broke it.

“What exactly happened to you last night, Ramsey? We all want to know. We need to know. I understand it’s hard, but it’s important.”

“I know, Cass,” I replied.

“Don’t make her talk, Cass. She has to decide when to talk,” Addison said, giving me a sympathetic glance. I returned it.

Although Addison and I had very different personas, we were similar in our experiences. We were the only ones in this house who knew how horrible a connection could turn.

“Well, if she doesn’t, Addison, we won’t be able to find Zora,” Cass said sternly.

“Don’t,” I snapped. “Don’t push me, Cass.”

“What? Ramsey, stop being selfish. We need to know what you saw!”

“Cass! How dare you?” Addison cried.

“Don’t call me selfish, Cass!” I shouted. “You weren’t the one to see Zora like that! You didn’t feel all of the pain. I did! You weren’t there. I was! Therefore, if I were you, I would shut up right now. You have no idea what it’s like!”

The anger bubbling inside of me made the pain worse. Soon I was breathing heavily.

“Addison, take Cass home,” Aaliyah instructed.

“I need to be here for Ramsey,” Addison protested.

“Fine, I will. Let’s go, Cass,” Aaliyah demanded.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, realizing the mistake he had made.

I didn’t turn to look at him as he left. I didn’t want to see his face, no matter how sorry he was. Stellan was rubbing my back and Addison handed me a glass of water. I drank it and felt better.

“Sorry about the episode there,” I apologized, once I was able to speak again. “I just….”

“It’s okay. Cass understands. It was wrong of him to push you like that,” Addison said soothingly.

“But he’s right. I need to tell you about the vision so we can find Zora. I’m supposed to be helping, not hurting. But that’s all I have been doing…hurting people.”

“Then tell us, but only if you are ready,” Stellan advised.

“I want to,” I said. “I really do.” But I knew my tone of voice was still conveying uncertainty.

“Do you want to wait a while?” Addison asked.

I shook my head. “No, it’s best that I just get it over with now,” I told her, making up my mind.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and told them everything. I told them about the room, about Zora’s condition, and about Finn. I left out the part about the “Realm.” It hadn’t made sense anyway.

Another awkward silence followed. I was getting sick of silence. Stellan held my hand, but it wasn’t enough to make me feel better.

“We have to leave early,” I decided aloud.

“Do you mean to Tarlore?” Stellan asked.

“Yes. Zora doesn’t have much time left. She will be dead soon if we don’t find her.”

“How can you know for sure?” Stellan asked.

“I’m sure because she told me. And I believe my sister,” I told him harshly.

Stellan nodded without saying anything.

“Ramsey is right, Stellan. We have to leave. We must also remember that Ramsey saw a fairy yesterday. It is too dangerous for her here,” Addison agreed.

“What if that was not what she really saw? What if she made a mistake?” Stellan asked.

I sighed. I knew I hadn’t made a mistake. It was obvious to me that Stellan didn’t want to go to Tarlore – although I didn’t know why – and his desperation didn’t make me feel any better.

“We can’t take that risk,” Addison said.

Stellan sighed and nodded slowly, realizing he wasn’t going to win this argument – not with two against one. “When do we leave?” he asked.

“We will leave tomorrow morning at five. We need a night’s rest,” Addison replied, looking at me closely.

“Good idea. I’ll get everything ready and let my employer know I’m leaving. After school, you can help,” Stellan said to his sister.

“What should I do?” I asked.

“Try and take it easy,” he advised.

I had no idea what he meant, but I didn’t ask again. I had just remembered what I had to do, and it had nothing to do with taking it easy. However, I wasn’t going to let Stellan or Addison know that.

“Well, I’m going to get out of your way,” I said, getting up.

“I’ll take you home.” Stellan placed his hands in mine and we were in front of my door. Waves of dizziness hit me, adding to my aching joints.

“That is probably not the best thing to do so early in the morning,” I admitted.

He chuckled and bent down to kiss me. I smiled and put my arms around his neck. Kissing him made the ache dull a bit. I tucked a curl of black hair behind his ear.

“See you soon,” I said softly.

“See you,” he said. “Be careful.”

He kissed me quickly on the cheek and vanished before my eyes.

I waited for a moment before heading down the dirt road, just to make sure he wasn’t going to come back. I didn’t want Stellan or Addison knowing I was going to spend my day running around the city. I had a lot to accomplish in a day. We were leaving for Tarlore tomorrow, which moved up all the plans I had been saving for the next few days.

First, I had to stop at the bank. I had no idea if I would need money on this journey, but I had to prepare myself for anything. Then I had to talk to Cass. I wanted to be on speaking terms with him before leaving. I hated keeping grudges. Finally, I needed to go to the bookstore and buy the book on locks. It was time the lock on my secret was broken…literally.

***

The trip to the bank took less than an hour, and soon I was standing inside the restaurant. I asked the host for Cass and he led me to the bar. Cass was pouring a few drinks for an elfin couple, appearing tired and upset. I felt bad, even though he was the one who had stepped out of line.

“Hey, Cass,” I said, unsure of how to start apologizing.

“Hello…oh, Ramsey, it’s you,” he muttered.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

A few silent moments passed.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly.

“Me too,” I replied.

“I didn’t mean what I said. You’re not selfish. I was just upset. Addison came in this morning crying, and I hated seeing her like that.”

“I understand,” I told him.

“So did you tell them about it?”

“Yes,” I said carefully.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said.

“I won’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t talk about it again today. It was bad enough the first time.” I paused, wincing from the pain of returning memories. “But you can ask Addison if you really want to know. I just wanted to clear things up between us before I left. We are leaving for Tarlore at five tomorrow morning.”

“That soon, huh?”

“Zora needs me,” I told him.

“Enough said. I’ll come by for dinner tonight to say my goodbyes then.”

“So you’re not going?”

“No. I have to work…and I’m not really a part of this. I wasn’t as close to your sister as the others were.”

“Won’t you miss Addison?” I asked.

“Of course I will miss her. But I know she can take care of herself,” he said. He was probably right. Although Addison had shown her vulnerability this morning, I also knew how strong she was. “You don’t need me causing trouble on the way,” he added after I didn’t respond.

I nodded, and had to smile at his last comment. “I guess you’re right. Well, I have errands to run before tonight. See you at dinner.”

“Goodbye, Ramsey, and remember what I said. You aren’t selfish.”

“Thanks.” I faked a smile and left.

Talking with Cass was awkward now. Our fight had changed things. I didn’t believe his apology any farther than I could throw him, but I was glad he had at least tried. He wasn’t a bad elf, and up until now I had liked his witty humor and the protectiveness he had for a strong elfen like Addison. But I knew what he thought of me was said at the breakfast table. He loved Addison, and my making her upset had put a rift between us.

Even so, I felt lighter now and less stressed. Sure, I still had to meet the elfen Queen in Tarlore and find Zora, but things seemed a little bit easier.

However, my fight with Cass earlier had unnerved me. I had never once lost my temper like that. I didn’t like what I was becoming. All of the tension and stress related to the war and to Zora was turning me into a different person, I mean, elfen. Change scared me sometimes. I never knew how it would affect me, good or bad.

Yet change was inevitable, right? This was my real home. Must I change to fit in?

I wasn’t up to analyzing this confusing topic just yet. I would wait until things calmed down before I thought about it again. My whole life needed to revolve around Zora until she was safe at home. I had to deal with that one goal. Thinking about life that way would make bringing her home seem much easier.

Once I bought the book, I could open the trunk. I was hoping the contents of the trunk could shed some light on where to find my sister and reveal my secret. It might even have something to do with my parents.

Thinking of my parents made me remember what Finn the fire fairy said: “
Your father told me so…before he died.”

I shuddered and hurried on to the bookstore, trying to convince myself that my father’s death didn’t affect me as much as Zora because I had never known him.

But no matter how hard I tried to pretend otherwise, it did.

***

By the time I reached the store, I was in desperate need of something to distract my mind from thinking terrible thoughts. I needed something good to happen today. Maybe the book would help me accomplish that. If just one thing could go right, maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad. Even so, I doubted it.