His eyes burned into hers. ‘You see, falling in love is dangerous.’
The breath seemed to catch in Kate’s throat. ‘Are you…are you saying what I think you are saying?’ she faltered.
‘Aye.’ He began to wind the loose curl around his finger. ‘I’m caught in your spell.’
He paused, his lips only inches away from her own, and, dizzy with excitement, Kate could hardly breathe. She longed for him to kiss her!
‘I want you to stay, but I don’t know if I have the right to ask. We barely know one another…’ There was a tremor of uncertainty in his deep voice which Kate had never heard before.
He paused. ‘Your company makes me happy,’ he continued simply. A tiny choke of laughter escaped him. ‘In fact, to be absolutely honest, my dear Miss Nixon, whenever you are near all I want to do is take you in my arms and make love to you!’
His smile fading, Randal released her lock of hair. ‘However, we could be letting our mutual attraction overrule our commonsense.’ His mouth twisted into a wry grimace. ‘Or maybe I’m just a hopeless coward who doesn’t deserve you.’
‘I don’t think you are a coward.’ Kate lifted up her arms and wound them around his neck. ‘It takes courage to face one’s doubts.’
An impulse to confess the depth of her own feelings rose in Kate. She crushed it ruthlessly. Far from being in a position where she could return Randal’s honesty, she was about to desert him. Exposing him to malicious gossip was bad enough. Telling him that she loved him would make her abrupt departure seem even more base.
It was much too late to try and persuade him that she didn’t care a rap for him. All she could hope for was to soften the eventual blow to his pride. He was on the verge of falling in love with her in earnest and much as she longed to encourage him it wasn’t fair. He would get over her far more quickly if he thought she had been merely indulging in an indiscreet flirtation.
‘You are right,’ she agreed, her tone deliberately light hearted. ‘It is too soon to be sure of our feelings. It would be easy for us to pretend that everything is going to be wonderful, but dreams don’t always last.’ She gave an abrupt little laugh. ‘Reality has a nasty habit of intruding and love can fade into oblivion if it isn’t strong enough to withstand the knocks that everyday life can dish out.’
‘You sound as if you have been in love before.’ A pang of totally irrational jealousy shot through Randal and his arms tightened instinctively around her slim waist.
‘I thought I was.’ Kate shrugged lightly, inwardly cursing his acute perception. ‘It didn’t last, but the aftermath was quite amazingly painful. So, you see, I
do
know what you are trying to say.’
‘And you don’t mind?’ His bright gaze was dubious. ‘We both know what is expected of a gentleman. A little light flirting is acceptable, playing fast and loose with a lady’s affections is not.’
‘Are you only playing with me, Randal?’ Kate couldn’t resist asking.
‘You must know I’m not!’ he declared hoarsely and, before Kate could prevent him, swooped to capture her mouth in a passionate kiss.
Chapter Eleven
Knowing she ought to resist was no help at all. The embers of erotic excitement, which smouldered whenever he was near, flared up into a devouring flame, burning away Kate’s good resolutions in an instant.
To Randal’s delight, she clung to him, kissing him back with a fervour that was as unladylike as it was welcome. Her lips parted eagerly beneath his and her little tongue darted to entangle with his own. The blood roared in his veins as she pressed closer, her fingers burying themselves in the hair at his nape.
Her gloriously wanton response had an inevitable effect and feeling himself harden, Randal pulled away a little, breaking off the kiss.
‘Say you will stay.’ He whispered the words hoarsely into her ear. ‘At least for a while longer!’
‘I promise you I won’t leave until I have to.’ Kate clung tighter, a desperate urgency filling her.
She didn’t want to leave him! It would break her heart, but if she stayed and he discovered the truth his illusions would be shattered in a far worse manner.
‘Then I won’t ask for more.’
She looked so lovely smiling up at him that Randal couldn’t deny his need to kiss her again, but even as he bent his fair head he knew he had to take care. He had let passion bring them within a hair’s breath of dishonour once before and he knew it would be unfair on them both to ignite that dangerous conflagration again.
Much as he longed to caress her beautiful willing body, he would have to resist!
Instead, he contented himself with showering a rain of tender little kisses upon her upturned face. From brow to eyelid, from cheek to the tip of her nose and so to her mouth again in one last slow and lingering kiss, his lips bestowed a gentle benediction.
‘Did anyone ever tell you that you kiss beautifully, Lord Redesmere?’ Kate trailed her fingers across his broad shoulders with a tiny sigh of satisfaction.
‘I ought not to kiss you at all without a formal declaration of my intentions,’ Randle murmured ruefully.
‘Why?’ Kate demanded with a pert look. ‘How can anyone find out whether they suit unless they practise first?’
He gave a choked laugh. ‘You have somewhat unusual views, ma’am!’ He stroked a wisp of stray hair from her brow. ‘I don’t think your chaperon would approve!’
‘Maybe not, but I’ve always thought it rather unfair that a man must declare himself before his kisses are considered proper,’ Kate announced with a wicked grin. ‘Ladies are allowed to be fickle. Why can’t a man admit he might not be sure? It’s not a crime to want to be certain of one’s feelings. Marriage is for life, after all.’
‘Marriage?’ Randle released her abruptly and stepped back a pace.
Kate blushed vividly. ‘I’m…I’m sorry,’ she stammered, mentally damning her own stupidity. ‘I had no right to mention marriage—’
‘You have every right!’ Randal’s expression revealed his disquiet as he interrupted her. ‘Marriage is the usual outcome for two people in our situation. It’s perfectly natural you should wonder if my intentions are honourable.’
‘After what happened at the Hall I think I already know that you are a man of honour,’ Kate said quietly, abandoning her flirtatious manner. ‘I do not believe you would use my feelings to take advantage of me.’
‘As usual, you are more than generous, cousin.’ A tinge of colour warmed Randal’s sun-bronzed skin at the reminder of his earlier folly. God knows, he had wanted her so much that night he would have counted honour well lost!
‘We both know I behaved badly,’ he said gruffly. ‘But I promise you I will never lose my head in such a manner again. I want you to be able to trust me!’
She nodded, too full of guilty remorse to offer him any reassurance.
Unnerved by her silence, Lord Redesmere plunged on. ‘I do not wish to deceive you, Katharine. You know I find you extremely attractive, but I have always fought shy of marriage.’
It was true, but it was not the whole truth.
How could he explain that he was waiting for the Hogans to appear? Given that Sean Sullivan had confirmed her identity his procrastination seemed absurd and yet his instinct still insisted that something was wrong.
To complicate matters still further, he had promised his father that he would never choose a bride of low rank and the debt he owed him demanded that he keep his word.
Honour compelled him to act with caution and listen to the warning voice in his head.
‘I don’t want to make you a promise and then fail to keep it,’ he said carefully, adding with genuine sincerity, ‘As far as I’m concerned only an absolute bast…only an absolute rogue would abuse a woman’s trust by coldly feigning a love he did not feel in order to secure a conquest.’
Kate flinched away from the memories his words unwittingly conjured up.
Seeing his look of concern, she shook off the past and swiftly summoned up a sophisticated smile. ‘I certainly don’t expect you to make me an offer of marriage just because we have exchanged a few kisses!’ She put one hand on his arm in a gesture of reassurance. ‘No matter what convention decrees, I think that would be stupid. Too many people rush into wedlock and then regret it.’
Randal laid his hand over hers. ‘I was worried you might feel insulted if I told you that I didn’t yet know the depth of my feelings for you,’ he said, a note of rueful apology in his deep voice. ‘But when you began to talk of going home I couldn’t keep silent any longer.’
‘Why should I be offended? I am used to plain speaking, remember?’ Kate spun away from him and, planting both hands on her hips, tilted her chin at him, her expression full of mock indignation. ‘Furthermore, I’ll have you know, sir, that one of the qualities I value most in a man is honesty. Give me unvarnished candour rather than Spanish coin any day!’
‘Then you are happy to let things remain as they are, sweetheart?’ Randal held out his hands to her, finally convinced that she had accepted his excuses without resentment. ‘Is friendship enough for now?’
‘Of course.’ Kate reached out to place her hands in his.
He cared enough to be honest with her. It was more than she deserved!
* * * *
On emerging from St Peter’s the following morning Kate was accosted by Mr Sean Sullivan.
‘I thought I’d attend Morning Service here,’ he explained breezily. ‘Someone told me that the sermons were always excellent.’
Thinking it more likely that someone had told him it was Lady Edgeworth’s regular habit to worship at St Peter’s, Kate gave him an acid smile. ‘I hope you found this morning’s text instructive, sir,’ she murmured and had the malicious satisfaction of seeing him colour up.
The sermon had been based upon the first letter of St Paul to Timothy 6:10. Kate thought it singularly appropriate in the circumstances.
Alicia frowned at her. The love of money is the root of all evil, indeed! Really, the child could be most provoking!
‘Pray do not tease your cousin, Kitty,’ she said with unwonted severity.
‘I’m sure Mr Sullivan knows I am only funning, ma’am,’ Kate replied sweetly.
Sean quickly concurred. ‘Sure now, Lady Alicia. I can take a joke,’ he laughed.
He turned back to Kate. ‘I won’t deny I was piqued to discover Grandfather Nixon had played favourites, but I assure you I’m over my disappointment now. All I want is for us to be friends, Kitty. I don’t begrudge you a penny of the old man’s fortune.’
How she managed not to spit in his eye Kate didn’t know. Of all the liars!
Aware of Alicia’s anxious gaze Kate reined in her temper. Quarrelling with this trickster would lower her in the older woman’s estimation and she needed Lady Edgeworth’s continuing good will.
‘That is kind of you, Cousin Sean.’ Kate employed her most brilliant smile. ‘If you are prepared to let bygones be bygones, why then I shall do the same!’
This reply won her a delighted response from both her hearers, but Kate’s patience was tried when Alicia then went on to invite Sullivan to join them for dinner that evening.
‘I’d love to, dear lady, but I’m already promised to Lord Redesmere.’
Kate gave a tiny start of surprise, which she quickly disguised by fussing with her parasol.
Randal hadn’t said anything to her about inviting Sean to dinner. How odd! She thought he didn’t like the Irishman.
She abandoned her speculations just in time to hear Sean accept Alicia’s invitation to join them on their forthcoming visit to the theatre.
‘Is that all right with you, cousin?’ he added with a solicitude that grated on Kate’s nerves. ‘I don’t want to push in where I’m not wanted.’
Kate summoned up a smile. ‘I’m sure your company will add to our enjoyment, cousin.’
The compliment nearly choked her, but she was damned if she would give him the satisfaction of wrong-footing her in front of Alicia.
Kate’s determination was sorely tested over the next two days. Sean Sullivan haunted Abbey Square and she was forced to resort to the excuse of a sick headache to avoid driving out with him.
‘I swear I’ll throw something at him if he asks me out again,’ she told Mary crossly as she dressed for the trip to the theatre on Tuesday evening.
‘Here, let me do that for you.’ Mary took the Nixon gold locket from Kate’s impatient fingers. ‘You’ll break that fine chain tugging at it like that.’
She fastened the clasp and stood back to admire her young friend’s appearance. As usual, Kate looked lovely in that primrose crape, but her dark eyes were shadowed with strain.
‘Bear up, lass. Sullivan is a pain in the backside, but he can’t do us any harm. Mr Hilton is home the day after tomorrow. Once those papers are signed, Sullivan can go whistle.’
Kate nodded, her expression lightening. ‘You’re right, Mary. I am being silly to let him rattle me. It’s probably what he wants!’
Kate was still puzzled by the Irishman’s behaviour. He was busy making friends with all of Lady Edgeworth’s acquaintance and was already a popular figure. The city’s Summer Music Festival had begun, quickening the pace of social events, and she kept bumping into him everywhere she went. When she questioned Alicia, her benefactress had admitted he had asked for a list of their engagements. There was nothing Kate could do to prevent him haunting her. She would just have to put up with it.
Damn the man! Why couldn’t it be Randal who was her escort tonight? She hadn’t seen him since their visit to the Nixon mansion and she missed him desperately. However, he had mentioned that he hoped to see her at the theatre, which was something to look forward to in what promised to be an otherwise difficult evening.
Sir Richard Fitton, whom Alicia had also invited to share her box, arrived with commendable punctuality and the three of them set out for Northgate Street, where Sean Sullivan was to meet them at the entrance to the theatre.
The dark-haired Irishman was already waiting when they reached the playhouse and he greeted them effusively.
They made their way to Lady Edgeworth’s box and Sean paraded a great fuss of seeing Kate settled. Listening to his flowery compliments, Kate wondered what was going on in his head. Alicia believed he wanted to make amends, but Kate would sooner believe that pigs could fly.