Authors: Jessica Callaghan
It would have to be quick. I had only just found Robert and now I would have to let him go again. Our separation would hopefully be over quickly, but not being able to keep tabs on Robert’s safety was terrifying for me. I would have to put my faith in him. There was nothing else for me to do.
Gabriel shook me out of the confusion I was in. My brain had been whirring so quickly that I had almost forgotten he was there. He smiled and took my hand. I think my lies about wanting to improve our relationship had fooled him, at least for the time being. He seemed content.
I felt such loss as I looked at his face. After years of teenage dreaming I had expected our relationship to be perfect. I still believed that Gabriel was capable of love, but our chance to be happy together was long gone. It felt like such a waste for both of us.
We went to bed. The sun was close to rising and my head ached with the weight of everything we’d been through. I hadn’t been that eager to go to sleep in a long time. This was a time to gather strength and forget the problems around me. It was the first time that night that I didn’t have to think about Gabriel or Robert, or any silly dual. I just had to focus on me.
**
Luckily I woke up before Gabriel the next night. I rose almost as soon as the sun set, as if my body knew I had to make the most of the dark. If Gabriel had been awake I would have had to wait another night before I went to see Robert, so I was glad to be the first up.
I dressed quickly and left the nest as soon as I could. I decided to leave a note for Gabriel, just in case he woke up before I returned. I said I had woken up hungry and had to hunt urgently. It wasn’t the most convincing excuse but it was all I could think of and hopefully it would be believable.
I made my way to Robert’s as quickly as possible. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could. I didn’t know how long it would be until Robert and I could be together again and for all I knew this might be our last night together in months.
When I reached the door of Robert’s home he was waiting for me. He must have been able to sense me already. He took me in his arms without saying a word and I let my problems melt away. For just a few moments I was completely at peace.
We sat on the porch together, staring out at the dark garden that framed his home. I could hear the voices of the people in the neighbouring homes, peppered with the beating of their strong hearts.
“I wasn’t expecting you to visit so soon. I hoped you would but...” Robert whispered, taking my hand in his. His voice hardly reached above a whisper, not heavy enough to puncture the perfect atmosphere around us.
“I have bad news.” I hadn’t planned my speech but I knew it would be easier to get it all out in the open straight away. I looked up at him and I could tell he knew what I was going to say already. It must have been written all over my face. “Gabriel knows I’ve been unfaithful.”
Robert shook his head and I thought I could make out a tear falling down his cheek, glistening in the moonlight. The word unfaithful jarred on me. My night with Robert hadn’t felt unfaithful. If anything it had restored my faith.
“I wondered how long it would take him. What did you tell him?”
I clenched my fists. “I told him I had been with someone else. He said that I could become yours. He told me there’s a way to make you my sire. It would bind us together, remove his chance of ever coming between us. You would have to dual.” It still felt stupid saying it out loud, but by now I knew it was deadly serious. “I don’t want you to die because of me. I told him that I wanted to be with him. It’s the only way I could think of to keep you safe. If he knew the truth he would kill me, or you, or both of us.”
Neither of us said anything. There were no words that could make the situation better. I knew I had done the right thing, the only thing I could do to keep his identity a secret. The whole situation was proof that just because something is right, doesn’t make it easy.
Robert put his arm around me, and we spoke for a few minutes about completely innane things. It felt almost as if we were a normal couple for a little while. He made me laugh more than anyone I’d known, human or vampire, and he knew so much about the world. I knew that he was the mate, the teacher and the friend I had always hoped Gabriel would be.
For a little while I forgot everything. I lost myself in his arms, letting my mind dwell in a relationship that wasn’t filled with betrayal and confusion. When I was with Robert there was nothing but peace. That was what I missed the most when we were apart. He made me forget all the bad things that had happened in my past, and all the even more terrible things that were still to come.
After our heavy discussion, we lay down together on his bed. I had imagined it being my bed one day, shared between the two of us like happy newlyweds.
“Do you think we’ll be together?” I asked. I knew I had to leave soon but I couldn’t go without finding out how he really felt. “Can we fix this?”
Despite Robert’s best efforts I knew he wouldn’t lie to me. That’s why he was so appealing. Gabriel had constructed so many lies in our time together but Robert had nothing but honesty.
I could see that he had no answer. He didn’t know what was going to happen between us any more than I did. All we had was hope.
“All you need to know is that I love you. I always will.” He kissed me deeply, a goodbye kiss almost. “I’m going to find something. I swear I wont stop until I work it out, alright? You need to go back to him for a while. You need to forget about me.”
I felt the pitiful tears welling up but I shook them out of my system. Tears were weak, human expressions of emotion. Crying was a physical way of admitting defeat and that was something a vampire could never do.
We dressed slowly, the atmosphere becoming colder and more empty as we grew closer to the moment of parting. The air felt like that of a funeral, the claustrophic feeling of loss that creeps in to every corner and infests every person.
I didn’t want to look at him in case I gave in and let the plan slip away. I wanted time to stand still so that I could drink in every moment we had left.
Unfortunately even vampires can’t stop time, or not that I knew. Robert and I held hands and walked slowly to the door. I knew he couldn’t travel to the nest with me. It would give us more time together but it would make the separation harder, and I couldn’t risk Gabriel catching Robert’s scent and following him to his nest.
“What are you going to tell him about the smell?” Robert asked me, murmuring as he kissed along the veins in my throat.
“The truth. I came to break it off.”
Robert took me in his arms one last time. I was terrified of what was to come but I had to face it head on. There was no other option.
“Before you go I have a suggestion. I want you to drink from me.”
“Why?” I couldn’t hide my shock at his suggestion.
“I’m a very ancient creature and my blood is powerful. I don’t know what’s going to happen but if I can’t get to you I need to know you have the best chance possible. Drinking my blood will make you strong. It’ll wear off after a while, but it’s better than nothing.” He smiled at me in the melancholy way that filled me with guilt.
I had to acknowledge that his plan seemed sensible. I nodded to signal my approval, and as we stood by the door Robert bit in to the flesh on his arm. I saw his face flinch with the pain and that made the moment even more special. He was making a sacrifice for me. I moved towards him and took the open wound in my mouth.
It was a strange sensation. I had taken blood once before, from Gabriel, and of course I had tasted the blood of hundreds of humans. Blood is as unique as a fingerprint, with every human leaving a trace of themselves in the fluid. Robert’s blood was different too. It was richer, fuller than anything I had tasted. It was exquisite in the way that Dahlia’s had been, yet in a league far above any human.
Unlike mortal blood there seemed to be something else passing through, lingering under the initial taste. There was a current, a spark, flowing through the liquid that made my lips and my skin tingle. It seemed as if we were sharing something that was far bigger than ourselves, a primal act which seemed almost sacred.
Unlike feeding on humans, it was easy to pull away from Robert. Although this blood tasted divine I didn’t need it to survive. It didn’t keep my healthy, like the life of a human being.
I could feel my whole body rippling and tensing with power now that I had tasted him. I felt unstoppable, just like Robert had suggested.
He bent down to kiss my lips, wiping the blood from my mouth first. It wouldn’t look very good to walk home amongst humans with blood smeared across my face.
We said goodbye but to this day I couldn’t tell you what he said to me. Everything felt like a blur , a forcefield which only Robert’s voice could penetrate.
I had to leave. I had been away from the nest for too long already. I knew that somewhere out there Gabriel would be awake and searching for me. The longer I was away, the more suspicious he would become.
I tried to forget everything I was feeling but as I walked home images of Robert and Gabriel swarmed around my head. I walked back to the nest in a daze. Humans walked past me but nothing could distract me or raise my spirits. The heart beats of each potential victim didn’t even register in my head anymore. Instead my mind was full of the things I had lost.
Despite trying to hold back I eventually gave in. As the cold wind of the night whipped my face I began to cry. I didn’t care that it made me seem weak. At that moment I felt as weak as a child.
Normally the journey home would only take me a few minutes, despite the distance, but this time I went slowly, taking my time with the journey. I knew that the longer I was away from the nest, the more suspicious Gabriel would be, but I needed a while to prepare myself. Pretending Robert meant nothing to me would be a major test of my acting ability.
As I walked I felt that creeping feeling again, like I had when Robert had followed me for all those months. I knew it couldn’t be him, and there were no human beings around me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling someone was watching me.
I was about to call out but I decided to carry on and pretend I hadn’t noticed anything. I would lure them out and face them head on. I was certainly not in the mood to mess around after everything I’d been through that night.
As I neared the apartment complex I realised the danger of leading someone back to the nest. At the last second I took a turn off in to a small alleyway. I couldn’t risk luring someone to my home and creating another risk on top of everything.
I rounded a corner and pressed myself against the wall. I could hear the footsteps of my follower and I steadied myself for what was to come. As the mysterious figure rounded the corner I launched myself forward, pushing them backwards until they hit the walls of the alleyway.
I could feel the blood Robert had given me coursing around my body, giving me strength far beyond my usual range. I saw cracks developing in the walls with the force of the impact but I knew that without Robert’s blood I may not have been able to fight off this figure quite as easily.
The figure was a man, tall and heavily built. He had a shaved head and small, suspicious eyes. Something about him seemed oddly familiar, but I couldn’t place him. One thing became clear the second I looked at him. He was a vampire.
“Hello Louisa.” He said.
His voice matched his appearance, both coated with sadness. His smirk showed he found the situation humorous but his voice didn’t even same capable of expressing humour.
“How do you know me? Who are you?” He tried to escape and I pushed him back in to the wall, amped up by Robert’s ancient blood.
“You know I’m at least 400 years older than you. If I wanted to kill you then you would be dead by now.” Once again his words came out cold, nowhere near as menacing as he wanted to sound.
“That’s funny because less than 10 minutes ago I drank the blood of a vampire who was at least 500 years older than
you
so right now I’m feeling pretty good. If I were you I wouldn’t mess with me.”
He nodded and I could tell I had intimidated him. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have been able to rival someone as old as this creature, but now I could pin him against the wall as if he was a little girl.
“So are you going to tell me who you are?” I asked.
He smiled at me. It was a hollow smile but it was the most expression I had seen him show.
“If you insist. My name is Aiden.”
The name rang through my mind, hitting me over and over. Aiden. Robert had told me about Aiden and I doubted that the name was coincidental. This was Gabriel’s old lackey who had introduced Gabriel to the Order all those years ago.
A few months ago I had only encountered one vampire, Gabriel. Now I was standing face to face with yet another vampire Gabriel had brought in to my life, a vampire who might hold the key to everything.
I needed a moment to process everything but I knew I couldn’t afford to. I didn’t know if Aiden was a friend or foe at this point, so letting go of my grip on him wouldn’t be a good idea.
“If you came here on some mission from Gabriel to kill me then you should just get it over with. I’d like to see you try to find me.”