The Endearment (38 page)

Read The Endearment Online

Authors: Lavyrle Spencer

Tags: #Fiction

"Again?" Anna interrupted, big-eyed now, disbelieving.

"Oh, forget it." James suddenly became engrossed in scratching a dab of dry gravy from the knee of his britches.

"You saw Karl cry once?"

"It don't matter, Anna." He scratched all the harder, keeping his eyes carefully lowered.

"When?" she insisted, and James threw her a look of appeal.

"Anna, he doesn't know I saw him and I don't think I should be telling you about it."

"James, you've got to tell me. There are so many things Karl and I need to straighten out between us that can't be straightened out until we know things like ... like how we've made each other cry."

James still looked doubtful, but after considering what Anna had said he decided it would be all right to tell her. "It was the night after he came stomping out to the barn and asked me point-blank if Barbara was a seamstress. Then, when I said no, he asked me if I knew what she did to earn a living. All I said was yes, and I thought he'd make me say what it was. But he just told me I did a good job on Belle's hooves, and walked out. I never told him, Anna. Honest, I didn't. Later on I went outside when I heard him get up in the middle of the night. I'd made up my mind I was gonna tell him, and explain to him how you hated what Barbara was, and how you only lied because of me. But I never got a chance to tell him because I come on him out by the garden. He was just standing there by the horses and when I got up behind him I heard him crying. He ... he was holding onto Bill's mane ... and ..." James' voice had softened until it was a pale whisper. He scratched at something on the tabletop with his thumbnail. "Anna, I never seen a man cry before that. I didn't know men cried. Don't tell him I said so, okay?"

"No, James, I won't. Promise." She reached out and patted his hand.

"Anna, I know Karl likes you more than Kerstin. Otherwise, why would he cry?"

"I don't know." She thought about it for a while. "Kerstin's sure pretty though," Anna admitted wistfully. "And she's got some meat on her bones like Karl likes."

"Nothin's wrong with you, and if Karl thinks so, he's the one that's got somethin' wrong with him!"

There it was, what she'd thought she'd lost from her brother. She realized she had been silly to think that just because he admired Karl with increasing fervor, his feeling for her had waned. But when it came down to the wire, when it came to Karl finding fault with her, there was James, ready to stand up and fight for her, just as he'd always done.

"Oh, James, thank you, baby," she said, using the name she used to call him when he was a runny-nosed toddler tagging after her dresstails through the
Boston
streets.

"Anna?" James asked, after studying the fire intently to avoid the confusing rush of feelings that had made him feel so much like a man when she called him baby, "do you think he'll come back?"

"Of course he'll come back. This is his home."

"He didn't take the rifle, Anna. He left it here for us."

"Oh, don't be silly. If you're worrying about that ... that cougar out there in the pines, you know perfectly well Olaf will be with him and Olaf will have his gun."

"Well, you're one to call me silly, since it looks like the same thing's been on your mind, too, or you wouldn't have brought it up."

"Karl is the most careful person I've ever met in my life. And one of the most cautious woodsmen, too. Now, believe me, that cougar is the last thing we have to worry about."

Yet after Anna went to bed, she lay in the dark for long hours imagining the very scent of those pines, her nostrils pricking as if
 
searching here in the dark cabin for the musk of cat, as if she could warn Karl should she detect it. His pillow lay beside her, puffed and empty. She punched it and made a hollow in the center of it and pretended that he had only gone outside for a minute. For the thousandth time since he had learned the truth, she cried out silently, from her aching throat, "I'm sorry, Karl. I'm sorry. Forgive me." Tonight, she added, "Please don't go to her, Karl. Please come back to me."

 
She slept. She awakened, thinking of Karl crying into a horse's mane, knowing he had cried because of her. I'm sorry, Karl, she thought, tortured.

* * *

She'd been sound asleep again, but sat up as if she were attached to the ceiling by a spring. Something was wrong! No sooner had she coherently thought it than James' voice came to her, strident, panicked.

"Anna, are you awake? There's something out there! Listen!"

She sat stone still, listening to the scraping and thumping that came from beyond the door. It sounded like something was trying to eat the panel itself.

"James, come here!" she begged in a whisper, wanting him near enough so she could put her arms around him and know he was with her in the dark.

"I gotta get the rifle," he whispered back. "I gotta get it like Karl said to."

She heard him kick against a bowl or bucket on the hearth. She heard him pick up the bag of shot Karl had slapped down when he'd come wheeling back in the house this afternoon.

"James, it's already loaded!" she warned. "Karl always keeps it loaded and he didn't shoot at that bear today!"

"I know, but I gotta be ready to load fast if I need to take a second shot."

"Oh, James," she wailed, "do you think you'll even have to take a first one?"

"I don't know, Anna, but I gotta be ready. Karl said."

Outside the door they heard a grunt, like when a man lifts something heavy.

"Do you think it's a man James?"

"No. Shhh!"

But when she sat quiet, she could hear the intruder scraping around again on the
        
puncheons.

"James, is the latchstring in?" Panic hit her afresh. If the latchstring were hanging outside, all the intruder needed to do was pull it to lift the heavy bar that secured the door. She heard James make his way carefully through the dark to the door while she held her breath at the mere thought of his being so near whatever was on the opposite side of it.

"It's in," he whispered, and backed away from the door again.

Relieved somewhat, she swung her feet to the earthen floor and said, "I'm coming, James, don't point the gun this way."

"Don't worry, it's pointed straight at the door."

"But you can't see anything. What are you gonna do?"

"What I can't see, I can hear. I'll know if he breaks it down."

"B ... breaks it down? How big--what do you think it is?"

"I think it's that bear, Anna."

"But ... but there's never been a bear here before.

Why would he come now?"

"I don't know, but it sounded like something big."

"Shhh! Listen, it sounds like he's going away."

They heard thumping sounds again, then the unmistakable loud grunt and whine of a bruin. There was some clattering, then the sound of earthenware crashing, then a louder groan.

"He's in the springhouse, Anna. He's eating stuff in the springhouse!"

"Well, let him eat. Who cares? At least he's not eating us!"

"Anna, I gotta go out and shoot him."

"For God's sake, don't be stupid! Let him take anything he wants, but don't go out there."

"Karl says once a bear finds food he'll come back and raid you time after time as long as he knows where it is. He'll come back unless I shoot him."

"James, please don't go out there. Forget what Karl said about you not getting the gun fast enough today. He didn't mean it. It was me he was upset with. I told you that."

"I gotta go. It's got nothin' to do with Karl today. That's darn sure a bear out there. What if he decides to come back some day when we're not safe inside the house?"

From outside came the sound of splintering wood.

"No, James, don't go. It's so dark you won't be able to see him anyway."

"There's enough moonlight."

"No, there isn't."

"Then get the torches, Anna. Get the torches that Karl made when you were lost. They're leaning in the corner behind the ash bucket. Get one and light it and when I say the word, you're gonna have to do just what I tell you to. You're gonna have to lift the latchstring and take the torch outside a little bit ahead of me, so the bear won't be able to see anything behind it. As soon as I get the first shot off, you drop it and run, though, Anna!"

"No, I won't! We're not goin' outside with any torches and I'm not dropping it and running. We're staying right here."

"I'll do it without you if I have to, Anna," her baby brother said. The steel determination in his voice made her realize that he meant every word.

"Okay, I'll get the torch, but, James, if you miss him the first time, you gotta run with me!"

"Okay, Anna, I promise. Now hurry and light the torch before he goes away!"

She struck the flint and steel, and the spark grew to orange flame upon the cattails while the two big-eyed nightwalkers stared momentarily into each other's faces.

"We can do it, Anna," James said. "We got the rifle, not him."

"Be ... be careful, James. Promise you'll run the minute the shot goes off?"

"I promise. But, Anna?"

"What?"

"We ain't gonna need to. I promise that, too."

She raised the heavy latch with every fiber of her body trembling so violently she thought it would rattle the door in spite of her efforts at silence. The door squeaked softly once. She nudged it open and thrust the torch out before her.

The bear was slurping watermelon syrup as if he was in bear heaven. When the light caught his eyes, he sluggishly nodded his head and looked quite human, as if torn between finishing this delightful drink or being put off by the intrusion. He made the wrong choice; his long tongue snaked out into the pink drink one more time, and the gun exploded and knocked James clear off his feet. He was up and running for the door of the sod house before the stunning reaction had truly registered, keeping up step-for-step with Anna, who had completely forgotten to drop the torch. They slammed the door, barred it and leaned against it, chests heaving, hugging, trying to hold perfectly still, listening ... listening ... listening.

All they heard was silence.

"I think you got him," Anna whispered.

"He could be just stunned. Wait awhile longer."

They hugged for what seemed an hour.

"Anna?" James whispered at last.

"What?"

"Don't burn my hair with that thing!"

They'd been standing there for so long the torch had burned down. James' remark broke their tension somewhat, and they agreed to light another torch and go outside to check and see if the bear was really dead. Anna got the torch and James reloaded the gun before they crept back out.

When they saw what they had done, they both broke into relieved laughter. The bear lay half in and half out of what used to be the springhouse. The massive black body was sprawled across the little pool where they'd always gotten their water. The blood from the hole in his head flowed downstream with the current. The crocks and pots were lying in pieces all around. The bear had made mincemeat of some wooden pails, too. What walls of the springhouse had not been splintered by the animal had been blown to kingdom come by the blast from the gun, which Karl had "loaded for bear."

"James, you did it!"

"I did it," he repeated, now quite breathless at the realization. "I did it?"

"You did it, baby brother!" Anna squealed, throwing her arms around him again.

"By golly, I did!" he exclaimed.

"And you know what?"

"Ya, I know what. My backside hurts. That gun kicks like a mule." James rubbed himself back there while they both giggled.

"No, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say, there lies our winter supply of tallow dips and enough to feed our family and the Johansons all winter long."
     

James beamed and couldn't resist slapping his knee like Olaf was fond of doing.

"Guess what else?" Anna went on.

"What else?"

"We got no horses to budge this monster with and he's laying in our spring and he's gonna start rotting before Karl gets back and both him and our spring will never be the same again."

James started laughing. Then Anna started laughing at James because he was out of control. Then James started laughing at Anna out of control and before long they were on their knees, tired from the vast relief after their petrifying fright, and the fact that it was somewhere around
in the morning.

After some time Anna said, "Tomorrow we'll have to walk over to Olaf's house and see if one of the boys can come over and help us gut this big fellow and get his carcass strung up and tell us what else we have to do with him."

"I'm not sure, Anna, but I don't think we can wait till then. I think we have to gut him now or the meat will foul."

"Now?" Anna exclaimed with disgust in her expression.

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