Authors: Cleary James
Now she saw it all for the manipulative behaviour that it was. He had kept her constantly off balance, as she tried to gauge and manage his moods. It was like walking through a minefield, and she never knew what might trigger the next explosion. He would fly into a jealous rage if she so much as glanced at another man. He would accuse her of sleeping around while he was at work, and became obsessive about tracking her movements. One moment he would tell her she was unattractive, ignorant and boring in bed, and that no one else could ever love her; the next that she was the cleverest, sexiest, most beautiful woman he’d ever known, and that he wasn’t worthy of her. It was an endless cycle of emotional abuse followed by spells of utter adoration, and it was mentally and emotionally exhausting until Lisa felt so ground down by it that she had no strength left to stand up for herself.
But somehow over the last few months she had found the reserves within her to fight back. She saw Mark clearly now for what he was – an abusive, controlling man, incapable of real love or affection. She believed he did love her in his own sick, twisted way – but it was an unhealthy obsessive fixation that scared her, and she wanted nothing more than to get far away from it. So she had slowly started to build up her confidence and self-esteem along with her hoard of cash, stealthily working towards the day when she could make her escape.
He had left this morning with the promise that he would Skype her every night. She knew what that meant. He would be keeping an eye on her, controlling her even when he was on the other side of the world. There was no respite from him.
‘Think about what we discussed on Friday,’ was his parting shot. ‘The parties? It would mean a lot to me if you could do this for me.’
She hadn’t been lying when she had promised to think about it. She could think of little else now, her mind constantly preoccupied with trying to find a way out. It made her more desperate to leave than ever.
As soon as he’d gone, she ran upstairs and took out her hidden envelope, pouring the notes out onto the bed. But the reassurance she usually felt at the sight of the money eluded her. Instead she just felt frustrated by how little there was. This would be the perfect opportunity for her to escape, while Mark was away. It was the first time he had left her on her own while he was out of the country. Who knew when it would happen again? She picked up the money, counting the notes, but she already knew it wasn’t enough. She had to get far away, and she needed enough to live on while until she found her feet and established a life somewhere else. If Mark knew where she was, he would follow her. He’d never leave her alone. Women like her ended up dead. She would just have to be patient.
She’d bided her time this long, she told herself – she could do it a bit longer. But she felt a mounting sense of panic at the thought of letting this opportunity slip through her fingers. She looked around the room, her eyes scanning the place for something she could sell, desperation driving her to think like a thief. Any one of the paintings would fund her escape, but they were too traceable – they would lead Mark right to her. The jewellery he had given her was very valuable, and would raise questions if she tried to sell it for cash.
Tears of frustration stung her eyes. What she needed was a fairy godmother, she thought wryly – or just a regular wealthy friend who could lend her the money she needed. But Mark had isolated her until there was no one she could turn to for help – and besides, she had never had friends with that kind of money.
Suddenly her thoughts flew to Grayson. He was wealthy – and he said he wanted to be her friend. He could give her the money she needed and not even miss it. Could she ask him to lend it to her? She chewed her lip thoughtfully. He seemed kind, and she thought he would want to help her if he knew she was in trouble.
But she dismissed the idea almost immediately. Money bestowed power, and she couldn’t give a man that kind of control over her ever again, no matter how nice he seemed. Mark had been kind and charming at the start. No, she thought, scooping up the money and stuffing it back into the envelope, she would have to do this herself, no matter how long it took. It would be worth it in the end when she was free and beholden to no one.
On the other hand ... She did have something she could sell Grayson. He wanted her. She knew he did. It would be a fair exchange, so it wouldn’t be like she was asking him for a favour. It would be more like a business transaction. She wouldn’t owe him anything. She didn’t think he’d betray her to Mark, so she had nothing to lose – if he turned her down, she’d be no worse off than she was now. But if he took her up on it ... She felt a leap of excitement in her chest at the idea. Would Grayson be prepared to pay, she wondered. Did he want her badly enough to pay to have sex with her?
She shook her head as if to dislodge the idea from her brain. It was ridiculous! Desperation was making her fanciful. Grayson was young, attractive and charming – he wouldn’t need to pay anyone for sex. She would just end up embarrassing him and humiliating herself when he refused her. No, she would have to continue biding her time for another while, she thought as she put the envelope back into the box, secreting it once more in the drawer. Mark had agreed to wait until after their holiday for the surgery, and she would find a way to buy herself more time with the orgy thing. She had to be patient for a little longer.
She tried to put the idea out of her head as she got ready to spend some time in the gym. Since making the decision to leave Mark, she had started to relish her workouts. He had installed the state of the art gym at the top of the house where her studio had been, and always insisted that she exercise daily. But she worked out for herself now, and she trained harder than ever. She had a sense of purpose, getting fit and healthy for her new life, and it gave her great satisfaction to feel herself get physically and mentally stronger with each day. As she headed upstairs, she decided she would focus on that and put all thoughts of propositioning Grayson out of her mind.
But the idea refused to go away, niggling at her brain as she pounded on the treadmill, and firmly taking hold as she watched herself in the mirror pumping weights. As it took root in her mind, she felt more positive and hopeful than she had in years. She was going to do it, she decided, working it over in her head as she lifted the weights, pumping herself up mentally as well as physically, trying to muster the courage she needed.
What did she have to lose? Sure, it would be humiliating if Grayson turned her down, but she would get over it. She never had to see him again. Besides what was a little humiliation compared to the degradation and abuse she put up with on a daily basis? On the other hand, if he agreed, she had a hell of a lot to gain. It was a gamble, but it was a chance she had to take when her freedom was at stake.
There was a far greater risk, of course. If Grayson did turn her down, could she count on him not to tell Mark what she had proposed? He had kept secrets for her before, and she felt she could trust him. She just had to hope she was right.
Once she had resolved to do it, she didn’t waste any more time. She abandoned her workout midway through, racing downstairs to change before she talked herself out of it again. She had to do this now before she lost her nerve. If she thought about it too much, she would never go through with it. That meant she would have to go to Grayson’s workplace. But it was better that way, she told herself, since this was basically a business proposition she was putting to him.
She did a quick internet search on her phone and found the address of Grayson’s offices. Then she showered quickly and dressed with care, trying to choose clothes that would be appealing to Grayson. She picked out a cream button-down dress in a simple, figure-hugging style and a pair of medium-height heels in navy, teaming it with matching navy accessories. Mark liked her to wear this outfit for daytime events and lunches. It was subtly sexy without being overtly provocative. As she carefully applied her make-up, she rehearsed what she would say and tried to ignore the shaking of her fingers as she applied mascara and lipstick, pushing the enormity of what she was about to do to the back of her mind. When she was done, she surveyed herself from all angles in the mirror and was satisfied with her appearance. Then she picked up her bag and raced out of the house before she could change her mind. She walked to the corner of the road and hailed a cab.
The cab dropped her off in front of a large converted warehouse in the east of the city. A silver plate to one side of the door was inscribed simply ‘Fielding Architects’. It was a beautiful old building, the yellow brickwork broken up by rows of massive floor-height windows, and Lisa paused for a moment on the footpath to admire it before stepping inside. There was something about it that she found instantly comforting and reassuring, and it brought a smile to her face. Perhaps it was the way it had been so sympathetically restored in keeping with its history and surroundings. It was impressive without being in any way flash or showy, and it reminded her of Grayson.
Inside it had the same friendly feel, despite the cavernous dimensions of the space. A love for original materials and features was evident in the exposed pipes and brickwork, and the vaulted ceilings and enamel light fixtures paid homage to the building’s industrial past. Combined with contemporary elements of interior design, the overall effect was vibrant, eclectic and energetic.
Lisa’s legs felt wobbly as she crossed the light-filled lobby to the large reception desk, where she was greeted with a smile by an immaculately groomed young woman.
‘Good morning. How may I help you?’ she asked.
Lisa took a deep breath, trying to appear calm and in control. ‘I’m here to see Grayson Fielding,’ she said.
‘Do you have an appointment?’ the woman asked.
‘Oh.’ This hadn’t occurred to Lisa. Of course, she should have realised Grayson would be busy. She felt foolish, wishing she had thought this through. But then, if she’d thought about it too much at all, she’d never have come. ‘No, I don’t,’ she said with an apologetic grimace.
‘I’m sorry, but Mr. Fielding won’t be able to see you without an appointment.’
‘Could you just tell him I’m here? I’m a ... friend.’
‘What’s your name, please?’
‘Lisa Matthews.’
‘Why don’t I send you up to his personal assistant, and perhaps she can help you?’ The woman smiled pleasantly, picking up the telephone as she spoke. Lisa could tell she was just passing the buck, happy to hand over the unpleasant task of getting rid of her to Grayson’s PA. ‘It’s on the fourth floor.’ She pointed to a bank of lifts at the other side of the lobby. ‘When you come out of the lifts, it’s straight ahead at the end of the corridor. I’ll ring her and tell her you’re on your way.’ She punched a couple of numbers into the phone.
‘Thank you.’ Lisa gave her a grateful smile and turned to the lifts.
She emerged on the fourth floor and followed the receptionist’s directions to a large office at the far end of the corridor. Beyond the open door, a glamorous woman with wavy blonde hair sat behind a desk in front of a small seating area with squashy leather sofas and chairs grouped around a low glass coffee table. She stood as Lisa approached her, holding out her hand.
‘Hello, I’m Gaby, Mr. Fielding’s PA. How may I help you today?’
‘Hello,’ Lisa said as they shook hands. ‘My name is Lisa Matthews. I just wanted to see Grayson. I’m a– a friend of his.’
Gaby raised an eyebrow at Lisa’s slight hesitation over the word ‘friend’, but said nothing, her polite smile never faltering. ‘I’m afraid he’s with clients at the moment,’ she said. ‘But we can set you up with an appointment for another time?’ She sat back down and waved Lisa to a seat in front of the desk.
‘Oh.’ Lisa remained standing, twisting the strap of her bag nervously in her hand. ‘I, um ... it was a spur of the moment thing,’ she said with a conspiratorial laugh. ‘I was in the area and I thought I’d surprise him. I should have thought ...’ She trailed off, biting her lip. ‘Maybe I could wait?’
‘I’m sorry, but he’s tied up all day.’
Lisa glanced at her watch. It was almost one. ‘I thought I’d take him to lunch,’ she said, forcing a bright smile. ‘Doesn’t he take a break?’
‘Unfortunately, he has a lunch meeting today.’
‘Can’t you just get a message to him that I’m here?’ Lisa persisted. She hated making a nuisance of herself, but she’d never get up the nerve to do this again. ‘I think he’d want to see me. It won’t take long. I only need a couple of minutes with him.’
Gaby shook her head. ‘Sorry, but he doesn’t want to be disturbed. Look, why don’t you leave your number and I’ll tell him you called.’
Lisa sighed in frustration. Gaby clearly thought she had ‘crazed stalker’ written across her forehead in large letters. No doubt she was just doing her job, keeping people like her from wasting Grayson’s time. ‘Could I just wait here?’ she asked, waving to one of the couches. Surely he had to finish work some time.