Authors: Sara Seale
“
Darling, don
’
t go up in the air about it,
”
she said.
“
You know I couldn
’
t bury myself in Slievaun all the year round. Besides, there
’
s no money in it, and Mamma will expect her daughter to be supported in the manner to which she
’
s accustomed—or as near it as possible, that is.
”
“
But what will you do, Conn?
”
Clancy asked, bewildered.
“
He
’
s coming into Daddy
’
s office,
”
said Clodagh, wrinkling her nose at Conn.
“
I
’
ve got it all fixed up, only of course, Daddy doesn
’
t know I
’
m going to marry
him
yet. When he does, he
’
ll have to give him a decent wage and a partnership later on, I expect.
”
“
Conn in a city office! Oh, no!
”
whispered Clancy. It was, for her, the final betrayal.
“
Well,
”
said Kevin, hugely enjoying the prospect of his married sister
’
s discomfiture,
“
I’ll
say this for you, pussycat. You know what you want and you go after it. You should have been an O
’
Shane.
”
“
I
am
an O
’
Shane on my mother
’
s side,
”
said Clodagh demurely, and Kevin laughed.
“
So you are, good luck to you both. Now, Mark, let
’
s have that toast.
”
Mark rose to his feet once again. He never before had had to perform a small action that was so distasteful to him. He did not look at Clancy, but raised his glass and looked unsmilingly across the table.
“
Your health and happiness, both of you,
”
he said briefly, and sat down.
Clodagh made a face.
“
You didn
’
t sound as if you meant it very much,
”
she pouted.
It was Brian who brought the party down in ruins, He banged his dessert knife on the table and shouted suddenly:
“
Of course he didn
’
t mean it! How could anyone mean it? Conn has been Clancy
’
s friend ever since they were little. He belongs to Clancy. Clodagh, you
’
re beastly, beastly! How could you take him away?
”
“
Brian, be quiet,
”
said Mark sharply, but there was no stopping him.
“
I won
’
t be quiet!
”
he cried, in the shrill tones of overwrought excitement.
“
How can Conn sell the farm and live in filthy Dublin? I hate you both. You
’
ve spoilt Clancy
’
s party and now I don
’
t want any cake.
”
He began to cry.
“
Brian!
”
thundered Kevin.
“
I
’
ll take him up to Agnes,
”
Mark said.
“
No, I
’
ll take him,
”
said Aunt Bea.
“
You
’
d better stay here.
”
Brian was led, sobbing, from the room, and Kevin said crossly:
“
Well, after that disgraceful exhibition you
’
d better get on with cutting the cake and have done with it.
”
Mark turned to look at Clancy. She was sitting there, still not moving, but, since Brian
’
s outburst, the misery was there in her face for all to see. For a moment he became the tutor again.
“
Pay attention, Clancy,
”
he said sharply,
“
everyone
’
s waiting.
”
She picked up a knife obediently, and Conn and Clodagh leant forward and laughingly blew out the candles. With the sudden quenching of the light, the colour seemed to fade from Clancy
’
s face, leaving her very white.
“
Come, I
’
ll help you,
”
said Mark, and standing behind her chair, he placed a firm hand over hers and guided the knife.
“
That
’
s what you
’
ll be doing for me very soon, Conn darling,
”
Clodagh giggled,
“
only it won
’
t be a birthday cake. Doesn
’
t Mark look stem? I should like to think it was unrequited passion, but he never cared a button for me.
”
“
Serve you right, too, the way you used to make sheep
’
s eyes at him to get me jealous,
”
retorted Conn, giving her hair a tweak.
Presently they went back to the library to play rummy. Kevin said good night to everyone and retired to his study. Clancy went up to the schoolroom to fetch the cards, and while Conn talked to Aunt Bea by the fire, Mark and Clodagh put the card-table up.
“
You aren
’
t very pleased with me, are you?
”
Clodagh said.
He clicked a table leg into position.
“
Not very.
”
“
But I can
’
t help it if Conn and I fall in love, can I?
”
she said.
He glanced at her unsmilingly.
“
No, but you needn
’
t have chosen tonight to break the news. It wasn
’
t kind to spoil Clancy
’
s party.
”
“
I never thought it would spoil it,
”
she protested.
“
How was I to know that Brian would go off at half-cock like that?
”
“
It wasn
’
t Brian who spoilt things. But it never really was Clancy
’
s party, was it?
”
“
How do you mean? Of course it was Clancy
’
s party, and I took endless trouble over everything.
”
Mark smiled a little grimly.
“
You took endless trouble, my dear, because you meant it to be your party,
”
he said.
“
The birthday was just a buildup to the real surpr
i
se of the evening, wasn
’
t it?
”
She rustled her skirts angrily.
“
I
don
’
t know why you
’
re always so hateful to me—and on my engagement night, too.
”
“
I
’
m sorry if you find me hateful,
”
he said impassively.
“
I don
’
t really care how you behave, Clodagh, as long as you don
’
t upset my charges. Here
’
s Clancy with the cards. What are we going to play? Rummy?
”
They played rummy and slippery Anne, and a form of nap which Conn had invented, finishing up with animal grab, and making a lot of noise.
At half-past eleven Aunt Bea said with unusual firmness that Conn must go and the girls must get to bed, as Clancy was looking tired. She did look very tired, Mark thought. She had joined in every game. Clodagh went out into the hall with Conn to see him off, and Mark said he would put the cards away and lock up.
“
Good night,
”
Clancy said to Mark, and followed her aunt upstairs.
Mark folded up the card-table and bolted the french window, seeing as he did so the tail lights of Conn
’
s car disappearing down the drive. A moment later, Clodagh put her head round the door.
“
Don
’
t lock the garden door,
”
she said,
“
Clancy
’
s out.
”
He looked round sharply.
“
Clancy? She went up to bed five minutes ago.
”
“
Well, she must have come down again. I saw her slip out of the garden door just as I was coming in. The crazy idiot hadn
’
t got a coat on, either. Well, good night.
”
He watched the light of her hurricane lamp go bobbing up the stairs, then he snatched the nearest coat from the big bogwood press in the hall, and went out on to the terrace.
The night was fine but bitterly cold, and clouds were scudding over the moon, promising rain on the morrow. He called softly but got no answer, and then he saw her, standing on the end of the jetty, her dress pale and ghostly in the fitful moonlight.
For an instant his heart contracted with fear, and he ran with long strides over the damp grass, but when he reached her he saw that her hands covered her face, and her whole body was racked with sobs. The sound of her weeping was the most desolate thing he had ever heard.
“
Clancy, come in, my child, you
’
ll catch cold,
”
he said.
“
G
o away, go away,
”
she sobbed wildly.
“
I don
’
t want anyone to see me.
”
He put the coat over her shoulders and turned her gently round into his arms.
“
Surely you don
’
t mind me,
”
he said.
“
I
’
m just the English tutor. Cromwell
’
s the name—remember?
”
She clung to him in a storm of tears, and he felt a great compassion go out to her, and perhaps something more besides. He held her closely without speaking, until she was quieter, and watched a light come on in Slievaun across the loch.
“
Come into the house now, my dear,
”
he said then, leading her away from the water.
“
We
’
ll both catch our deaths out here.
”
The house was very quiet, and the downstair rooms had that air of desertion which falls upon them when everyone has gone to bed, and fires have sunk to ash and pale embers. Mark took Clancy into the library and threw some wood on to the dying turfs.
“
Come to the fire,
”
he said.
“
You must be frozen. You
’
ve to
rn
your lovely new frock—what a pity!
”
“
I never want to wear it again,
”
she said, and started to shiver.
He took her cold hands in his and led her to the fire. Automatically she kicked off her shoes, and they lay there
on the floor, muddy and forlorn, the silver already tarnishing. The fresh wood burst into a sudden blaze, and she sat down on the rug and held her hands to the warmth. He stooped over the fire beside her, warming his own cold fingers while he gave her time to recover, but the long evening of strain and keeping up appearances had been too much for her. She could not stop crying.
He pulled up a chair, and sat down.
“
We
’
ll talk this all out,
”
he said,
“
then we
’
ll forget it. Things hurt
damna
bly when you
’
re growing up, Clancy, but the hurt doesn
’
t last. Try to believe me even if you think it
’
s nonsense.
”