The Evanescence (Fallen Soul Series) (6 page)

Evan’s eyes char like fragments of hot ash and the ropes around my wrist and ankles flame and singe apart. Suddenly I’m falling off the bed and onto the floor and Alex crumples to the ground beside me.

 “Alex,” I gasp for air as hot tears spill down my cheeks and soak my hair. Angling my heavy head to the side, I reach my hand towards him, needing to touch him, needing to feel him.

He slowly slants his head towards me and extends his fingers to me, but there’s no life in his eyes, no movement, no light.  “Gemma,” he whispers. “I lo...” His eyes slip shut and he rolls to his back as his arms fall to his side. The world stops moving, breathing—I stop breathing. I hold onto his hand, crying with every ounce of sadness I have in me, as the world begins to erratically spin. There’s a loud crack and I see Evan get up from the bed and start running. I feel the inside of my
heart crumble to dust. I’m hollow. Then, everything goes black.

I remain on the cold floor, lying on my back with my eyes shut for what seems like days. I hear Evan leave and then eventually return, but I don’t move. My head is pounding and my body feels beaten, bruised, useless, dead—numb—just like my heart. Because he’s gone. Alex is gone. I never got to fully be with him because I was scared of how I felt and now I can’t. My chance is gone. He’s gone, just like my heart and will to live.

“Gemma,” Evan says from above me. “You need to open your eyes. Don’t let Alex’s sacrifice be for nothing.”

I know he’s right, but at the same time, I don’t want to live without Alex. I don’t even know if I am capable of living without him. It feels like the moment I open my eyes—the minute I see him lying beside me—is the moment where this peaceful, consuming numbness will leave my body and crack me open like a shell. All my emotions will spill out and I’ll lose it.

 “Everyone has a destiny, Gemma,” my mom’s voice fills my thoughts. “Yours is just more important. I always knew it would be, since the day you were born.” She smiles brightly. “My violet-eyed girl. You’re going to do great things, but it’ll be hard. You’ll be tested, more than you already have. But no matter what, you can never lose yourself. You have to fight, no matter what, Gemma. Never, ever give up.”

It is what she told me while I was in the Afterlife. Something about it had confused me at the time, but I’m starting to understand what she meant now. Sort of anyway, despite how much I don’t want to. It’s also similar to what Alex said to me before he died. I can’t let myself give up. I can’t let evil win. Maybe if I fight and search hard enough I can find a way to fix this all, just like I have in the past. I just need to be strong and hold on.

 I slowly lift my eyelids open to the world. The bright sunlight gleaming through the window stings at my eyes and my vision is blurry. I blink and blink again, the room starts to shift into focus. My gaze settles on a pair of dark eyes that belong to a person leaning over me.

“So you’re Evan,” I say in a groggy voice.

Relief washes over Evan’s face and his lips tug upward into a sad smile. “And you’re Gemma, I’m hoping.”

I bob my head up and down. “As far as I can tell, I am.”

He lets out a deep breath as he places a hand on my forehead. “I thought I’d lost you, too.” Squinting down at me, he examines me closely. “How’s your head?”

My shoulders rise and fall as I shrug awkwardly while lying on the floor. “Good, I guess.”

“Do you know where you are?”

“Yeah, in the castle… on the floor.” I slowly nod my head and a sharp pain intensifies and shoots throughout my body. “Ow.”

“What’s wrong?” Evan asks worriedly.

I want to ask him about Alex; what will happen to him, if he’s really dead, or if by some small miracle it’s only temporary; because, in my world, temporary deaths seem to happen a lot. However, my brain is fuzzy and I can’t move my lips to form words as images pop through my skull.

I sit in front of a black coffin that sits in the center of a brick church with a cathedral ceiling and painted glass windows as the backdrop. Thunder booms in the background and lightning flashes across the room. The lid to the coffin is shut and red rose petals speckle the top of it like raindrops of blood.

I don’t know who’s inside it, but in the depths of my heart it feels like I do. I want to know, but I don’t at the same time, so I stay put, surrounded by empty benches and a silent room. It’s just the coffin, me and the thunder outside. Briefly, I wonder if I can just stand in this same spot and never know what lies ahead.

Eventually, though, I can’t take it anymore and I walk forward; my black shoes and the tail of my long, black dress drag across the ground as I move. My body is weighted, my limbs stiff, and in my hand is a single red rose. Step-by-step, one foot in front of the other, the coffin gets closer. Finally, I’m right in front of it. I can see my reflection in the sheen of the surface. My hair is done up and a wisp hangs to the side of my face. My skin is pallid, my lips a dark blue, almost black, and my pupils are so immense only a ring of violet remains in my eyes.

Clutching the rose in one hand, disregarding the thorns stabbing into my skin, I reach for the lid, my fingers trembling as I slip them underneath the lip. Petals start to rain down from the church ceiling as I raise the lid up, but when the petals hit the floor, the lid, my skin, they splatter like drops of blood. Everything is bleeding and as I raise the lid completely my heart starts to bleed too.

Lying inside it is Alex. His eyelids are sealed, his lips are slightly separated with a purplish tint to them, and his skin is ashen. His hands are overlapped on his stomach and he’s wearing a black suit. Blood continues to soak down on me, drenching my hair, my skin, my dress, the floor as I slide my hand away from the lid towards him—towards his arm. Wrapping my fingers around his ice-cold wrist, I rotate it over and inch the bottom of his sleeve up where the outline of the black star should be. Our forever mark, but it’s gone.

Our forever is gone.

I’m ripped away from the future and back to reality. Alex is gone.

Really gone.

And I’m here.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to move—breathe.

I continue to stare blankly at Evan, praying that somehow he can alleviate the piercing pain and sharp needles that feel like they’re swimming inside my body and mind because it hurts and I swear my heart is bleeding to death.

“Just try not to move for a minute.” He leans closer to me, blocking out the sunlight with his body. “I’m going to try and help you the best that I can.” He keeps his hand on my forehead and the warmth flowing through his skin is comforting; not only for the pain in my body, but for the pain in my heart. I shut my eyes and bask in the sensation, absorbing the numbness seeping through me. Numb. That’s what I want to feel. I picture Alex and the last time that we kissed each other, how our lips and bodies melted together. I remember the way his hands kept brushing across the bottom of my shirt, where a sliver of skin peeked out. We belonged together. We always will.

A tear falls down my cheek as Evan removes his hand from me, taking the sense of comfort with him. My shoulders heave as I start to sob. Evan tries to console me, but it doesn’t do any good.  Alex and I have endured so much before we could finally be together, all so it could be fleeting, like a breath of air leaving my lungs.

I continue to cry, heart-wrenching sobs that rip the air out of my lungs and splinter my rib cage.

“I’m so sorry, Gemma. Really, I am.” Evan says in an unsteady voice and I open my eyes, seeing the sincerity and genuine remorse in his own.

I whisper in a hoarse voice, “It’s not your fault.”

He looks away, trying to hide the guilt on his face. “Yes, it is.”

Twisting my head, I look over at Alex’s body. He doesn’t look the same as in the coffin—he looks worse. I roll onto my side and, clawing at the floor, I drag myself over to him. His eyes are open, but sunken, and his lips are parted. His skin is mapped with veins and his chest isn’t moving. He’s dead.
No, he can’t be.
I’m conflicted and confused. Overwhelmed and enraged.

 I rest my head on his cold chest and tears start to spill out of my eyes again. Evan watches me, but doesn’t try to comfort me or pull me away. He lets me grieve. Eventually, he leaves the room and this time he doesn’t return.

“Alex,” I whisper as tears soak my eyes, cheeks, and his shirt. “Why did you do it? Why couldn’t you just let me, for once, be the one to go… I don’t want to be alone.”

There’s no response and my will to live dissipates, evaporating into the air. I cry until I’m so exhausted that nothing is left except anger.

I’m angry.

Angry at him.

Angry at myself.

Angry at Helena.

She got her revenge just as she wanted—she killed Alex. But it’s not over. I’ll get
my
revenge on her just like she taught me.

I swear love is the most powerful emotion that’s ever existed. It owns people, devours them, tears them open and bleeds them out from the inside, making them defenseless to everything. Hate is the same way. Hate takes your levelheadedness and even your sanity away from you.

I hate Helena. I completely, utterly despise her with so much passion it has stolen my heart. I’m hollow. Numb. Just like I used to be back when all this started, back when I didn’t know what kind of a world really existed. Back when I was the unemotional Gemma. I run my finger across the black star outlining my wrist over and over again.
Forem.
My forever with Alex is gone. But when I really think about it, my forever never really started. Alex and I never got a peaceful moment together and we never had time to really look into
our
future.

I reach over and touch his inner wrist. His skin is cold, but the star is still there; however, the black is fading and almost looks blue. Pressing down on it, I lean over and gently place my lips to his. They’re like ice, but I kiss him anyway.

“I love you… love you… I love you. I love you.” I keep saying it until my throat runs dry, then I whisper, “I’ll make her pay for this.” I promise this and then lift my lips from his. “Forever,” I say, and then I wipe the tears from my face with the back of my hand, gather my strength and stand up. I exit the room, refusing to look back, one foot in front of the other, with my head facing forward. I don’t want to remember Alex dead and lying on the floor. I want to remember him when he was alive, breathing, his heart beating.

Swinging the door open, I exit into the hall. I need to find Laylen and see if he’s okay—see if he’s himself again. I hurry to my left, toward his room and throw the door open and it bangs against the wall.

I pause, glancing from left to right to the empty bed and sofa in the corner. “Where is he?” I mumble, closing the door as I back out of the room. I deliberate for a moment and decide to head to the dungeon on the second floor.

When I step inside that room, dust immediately surrounds me and I notice that the air smells stale and kind of rusty, like blood has been spilled somewhere.

“Laylen.” I take a tentative step inside the room and as soon as my foot crosses the threshold, I stop dead in my tracks.

Across from me, on the farthest wall, Laylen is chained to the wall. He’s lying on his back, with the chains pulled tight as his arms rest to his side, along with his head.

“No.” I rush quickly towards him. “Laylen… Laylen, are you okay?”

He doesn’t move. His eyes are open, blue like the sea, but he’s not blinking or moving. There’s nothing going on inside him. Nothing. He’s dead. Like really dead, not just Vampire dead.