The Evensong (24 page)

“Cut it—”

“She told me that means we’re like twin flames,” he went on. I stopped when he said that and just stared at him. Twin flames? I’d only heard the concept a few times before, and because of the stupid wine I couldn’t remember what it meant. All I knew was that Omar had driven me to the edge, and the fact that Rene told him about my journey was disrespectful; it wasn’t up to her to tell anyone.

“Twin flames? You weren’t even part of my journey,” I said, pushing him back. “I lied! I had to lie because Rene would have kept pushing back the stupid ceremony, and I just wanted to get it over with.
You
weren’t in the pool,
you
don’t have the pure heart, it was all
Linden
. That’s right, Linden the Elemental.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. I couldn’t even read the expression on his face. I tried to ignore the fury building up from his body, but my own frustration clouded my judgment. I pulled myself away and started walking further into the swamp, hoping he would leave.

“Why did he have to come here?” I heard him say quietly. I stopped to listen. “I mean what drew him here of all places?”

“They were always here,” I replied. “No one ever noticed.”

“Except you,” he said, now walking towards me. “You honed right in on him the second he got here.”

“Cut it out, Omar. Go home,” I snapped. This was the last that he could take, apparently. In response to my tone, he took hold of my shoulder and pulled me back. I almost fell with the force of it, but caught myself on the trees. My palms scraped against the bark and a dull pain bloomed in my knees as they hit the ground. I could hear him saying something about ‘disgusting spirits’ and I tried to get my bearings. Everything was darker, and I could only make out a few things at a time. Omar stood over me, still holding me while I struggled to shove him back. It wasn’t working, and he took my wrists. I flailed harder and kicked at his knees until he fell, pulling me with him.

The wind came rushing out of my lungs when I fell on top of him. He was only stunned for a second before he twisted around, putting my back to the ground and his weight over me. Anything he said I barely heard, catching only snippets between my haggard breaths. Linden ‘didn’t deserve’ me, I was a pawn in some bigger plan, he didn’t want anything but the physical.

My legs were tingling with numbness even though I was still trying to kick him, bucking around to get free. His weight was too much for me and his grip seemed almost bone breaking. I was yelling incoherently, muscles strained. He took a second to hold one of my arms down with his knee, using the free hand to wrench up my long skirt from under him.

My yelling turned frantic and my struggling increased. I tried to lock my knees together as Omar held both of my wrists in one hand over my head. His pelvis held me down as he concentrated on the button and zipper of his pants. Thankfully this task took his mind off my wrists for a second, and I managed to pull one free. I didn’t hesitate for a second as I balled my fingers into a fist.

Every one of my knuckles cracked when I punched him in the mouth. Omar yelled once and slapped a hand over his lip where blood was gushing. I slid out from under him as fast as I could, stumbling to get to my feet and run. I didn’t look back or say anything, I just ran full tilt away from him.

SANCTUARY

Any other night I could have navigated the swamps at ease, but tonight I could barely tell left from right. My knees hurt and I couldn’t breathe right. I didn’t see the edge of the water at my left and my foot landed just on the edge, which broke away under my weight. It sent me straight into the water, and I gulped and swallowed, trying to breathe until I found the surface again. I coughed, but couldn’t seem to get myself to pause a second. Hauling myself out of the water, I continued running, the skirt of my dress sticking to my legs.

I finally collapsed when the trees thinned out and a blessedly familiar hammock hung in front of me. My lungs refused to fill with enough air and I couldn’t stop shaking. It wasn’t even cold.

“Linden . . .” I tried to yell but it didn’t work. My voice came out barely a whisper, and I grit my teeth as my eyes started to sting. I realized how sick I felt—my stomach was roiling and there was a fluttering in my throat. I held my sides as I threw up the water I had previously swallowed. My stomach kept heaving even when it was empty, and it made all my muscles sore.

I was full out sobbing when it stopped. I couldn’t even control myself, and I tried yelling for Linden again. All my adrenaline was gone and I didn’t have the strength to get up. Luckily my voice was coming back gradually, stronger each time I tried to say his name. Finally I thought it was loud enough to get his attention, though I also worried that Omar might hear.

There was only silence after my last cry. I held my breath for a second, containing my crying so I could hear better. When I didn’t hear anything at all, I held my face in my hands, at a loss of what to do.

The sudden sound of a door opening caught my attention. I wasn’t sure if it came from Linden’s house or the neighbors.

“Riley?”

I almost couldn’t believe it when I heard his voice. “Linden!” I tried to push myself up from the soggy ground, but my arms and legs were shaking too hard. I resorted to trying to pull myself closer to the hammock as I heard his footsteps on the drive. He called my name again, this time with more force, and I responded, giving up on moving. From the barely tangible light I could see his silhouette coming closer and it made my tears flow faster.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” he asked when he saw me. As he got closer, he must have been able to see better, because he rushed over and crouched beside me. “What the—what happened?”

I couldn’t answer him, I only held his arms as his hands pushed my soaking hair back. He didn’t hesitate to ask if I could walk, just picked me up and turned in the direction of his house.

The lights inside were blinding, and I squinted hard against them, turning my face into his chest. He went up the stairs to the bathroom where he set me down and left to get a few towels. The familiarity of his home comforted me a little, and I tried to wipe the tears off my face even though they were quickly replaced.

Linden sat next to me on the floor and handed me the towel. I dabbed my face first and then wrapped it around my shoulders.

“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, looking at my tattered appearance. I just sniffled and hid my face, trying to stop the constant trembling in my limbs.

“Do you want to shower?” he asked next.

I considered it for a second and then nodded. He stood up and pulled the curtain across the bath and started the water. While he was busy with that, I braced my hands on the wall and stood up, leaning heavily on anything I could. Linden gently supported me, looking at the faded markings of clay still left on me.

“Is it okay to wash those off?” he asked. I had completely forgotten about them, but I didn’t care if they were gone. Most of them had partially washed off when I fell into the water anyway.

When the mirror had completely fogged up I put the towel down and waited. Linden said he would get me something else to wear, and he would be waiting outside if I needed anything. Lastly, he helped with the row of buttons at the back of my dress and then left silently.

I stood in the shower for a long time watching the water in the drain turn a reddish color from the clay. I didn’t know how I was ever going to begin to try to explain to Linden what happened. I wasn’t sure I was entirely sure. Either way, I was positive I didn’t want to go home.

When I turned off the shower, I found a t-shirt and boxers waiting on the counter. I dried off slowly before getting dressed and then glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked exhausted beyond anything else, and I ruffled my hair a little, taking a deep breath. The shower had helped a little.

As promised, Linden was waiting in the hall. He looked at me worriedly and waited as I stalled, trying to think of something to say.

“Can we sit in your room?” I asked quietly, my voice weak. Linden nodded immediately and led the way.

I sat on the edge of the bed while he sat next to me. I didn’t say anything for a long time, and he asked if I was okay.

“A little better than before,” I replied, looking at my hands. The knuckles of my right hand were sore and I kneaded them gently.

“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked, watching my actions.

I bit my lip, strictly telling myself to quit crying. I didn’t want to relive it at all, but I didn’t want to leave him in the dark.

“Can we turn off the light? Please . . . it’s really bugging my eyes,” I said quickly. Anything so he didn’t have to see my face.

Once in the dark, I lay down slowly, resting on my back. Linden lay next to me, propping himself up on his elbows.

“The ceremony was fine,” I started, whispering. “Everything went really well. I left afterwards to just walk around in the swamps and Omar followed me there.”

“Omar?”

“He lives in the house with me; we’ve been friends for a long time,” I explained. “He wanted to talk to me, I guess. Rene told him about a journey I had, and she really shouldn’t have.” Here I paused, hesitant to tell him about it. But why not? “In the journey you were in this pool. You were there instead of my reflection, but you moved like a reflection. When I touched the surface you sunk and a water lily came up from your breath.

“I didn’t tell Rene it was you though. It would have been bad, so I told her it was Omar. Basically she went and told him about it saying something about twin flames. He kept saying it was supposed to happen . . .”

I trailed off, my voice straining again. I felt tears fall from the corner of my eyes and into my hair. “I told him what really happened and that he was wrong. And he just—got mad.”

I left it at that for the moment. I couldn’t say the rest, and I didn’t want to explain it. Linden was silent, nodding to himself slightly.

“Got mad, huh?” There was angry sarcasm laced in his voice, and I didn’t know if it was directed at me or not.

I turned to him and saw he was staring off at the wall. Carefully tapping into his aura, I jumped back when I felt the intense anger.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked, hoping to sway his feelings.

“Yes. I wouldn’t let you go home anyway,” he replied, smiling slightly. I thanked him as he lay on his back, looking thoughtful. I turned on my side, my back to him, and felt the various places on my body that hurt. My knees, my stomach, my arms and wrists, my head; everything.

I lay there for hours, not moving or sleeping. Linden never said a word, and he didn’t touch me. I wondered who he was actually angry with, and what this would do to us.

Us,
I thought. I think it was the first time I thought of our situation as ‘us’. Things that happened to me now directly affected him, and vice versa. I was incredibly grateful he had been here, and he didn’t pry or force me to speak. It was the best thing anyone could do.

I rolled over, my body stiff. Linden still lay on his back, eyes closed, one arm over his head. I just watched him sleep for a few minutes before I moved closer to him. Resting my head on his shoulder, he opened his eyes like he’d never been asleep. I draped one arm over his chest and settled against him, completely comfortable. With one arm around my shoulders and the other hand stroking my arm, I felt safe. He kissed my temple and let out a breath, his body relaxing. I wasn’t sure if I could sleep at all, but in this place, in a bed beside him, I could certainly try.

I woke up a few hours later, sore beyond belief. I had moved around in my sleep, and my hands were now under the pillow, face buried in the mattress. When I opened my eyes a little, the room was a dim gray with the early morning. My eyes felt puffy and I rolled over slowly. Linden was dead asleep and sprawled out on more than half the bed. His hair covered most of his face, but I could tell by his breathing he was out cold.

I took this opportunity to stand and shakily make my way to the bathroom. I left the light off as I splashed my face with cold water, taking a long drink before I turned it off. My reflection looked a little better than the night before. There were a few tiny scratches from branches on my cheek, and my arms were in worse shape anyway. Light bruises created bracelets and there was one blue finger imprint on my upper arm. My hand hurt worse now too, and I massaged the knuckles as I walked back to the bedroom.

Linden was half awake and stretching under the covers. He still hadn’t really noticed the empty half of the bed until I crawled back in. He looked at me through hooded eyes and squeezed me against him.

“What time is it?” he groaned.

“I don’t know, pretty early,” I replied.

“Way too early,” he said, burying his face in my neck. He looked back up at me and smiled, asking if I slept okay.

“Yeah, I did,” I replied, pushing my hair away from my face. His expression darkened when he saw my wrist. I tried to shove my hand back under the sheets, but he had already seen.

“Did Omar do that?” he asked.

I couldn’t lie to him. “Yeah.”

“Are you going to tell anyone besides me?”