She turned and began to descend, Jhond right behind her. When they reached the captain's cabin, she turned to him and said, "Jhond, would you please step inside a minute? There's something private I've wanted to say to you, but we so rarely seem to be alone."
He hesitated, and she said, "Please."
"Very well, just for a moment." He stepped inside, and she closed the door behind them. He leaned against the cabin wall beside the door and waited. She crossed the small cabin and sat on the only chair.
"This is difficult," she said, "but I feel if I don't broach the subject, it will lie between us like a...a wall. I believe you're attracted to me; possibly have feelings for me? I also think it likely Ninian will have told you of my confession I have feelings for you...deep feelings."
She stopped as if expecting Jhond to speak, but he said nothing.
She took a deep breath and went on. "I know my connection with the entity is making both you and Ninian suspicious, but I also believe you know how much I hate that. My loyalty is to you. Please believe that. Please trust me. I want... Oh, Lords...Jhond, I want--" Her eyes widened as Jhond strode purposefully toward her.
Jhond knew damned well what she wanted. He wanted it, too. He grabbed her, pulled her into his embrace and before either of them could take another breath, his mouth was on hers. And Lords, it felt so good, so right.
* * * *
"The weather still behaving up there?" Ninian asked Amired, feeling the need to fill the silence after Jhond's abrupt departure.
"Aye," Amired said. "We're not too far from Thurnby if you want to make landfall." He glanced at Ninian. "Wasn't sure if you and Jhond would prefer to stay at sea while things are sorted out."
"Yes, it would be better to remain at sea for a while, but you can't sail much farther north before you hit the ice fields, can you?" Ninian asked.
"I can beat back and forth for a time," Amired said.
"Until your vociferous crew makes its feelings known," Ninian said.
Amired barked out a laugh. "They're more scared of you--and particularly Jhond--than of tracking up and down beside the ice fields."
Jhond entered the cabin to catch the end of Amired's statement. He looked a little flushed, but smiled pleasantly as he took a seat.
Ninian wanted to keep the relaxed atmosphere. "Anything interesting happen while we were ashore, Amired?"
"Not so much. The odd storm, a disagreement with a port official, a dressing down for Warkist. More of the same old, same old." Amired grinned. "The most exciting thing has been your arrival with the beautiful young lady in tow." He reached for his goblet and took a quick drink.
Jhond smiled again, and though Ninian half-wished he could gag Amired, the other half thought it would do Jhond good to sort out his feelings by talking about them.
"Jhond is quite taken with the young lady himself," Ninian said.
"Not surprised," Amired said. He lifted an eyebrow and gave a small shrug. "You know, women are something we've never really talked about. Being in the armed services and then at sea most of my life hasn't allowed me to have a wife waiting at home. I usually have to satisfy myself with visits to certain establishments on shore whenever I can."
He gave a sigh, smiling at his private thoughts. "'Course that doesn't mean I don't have my ideal. I always was rather partial to redheads, and Remelin reminds me of the Princess Ilada, Patinus' sister, before she was taken by Emperor Bardius. She always was a feast for the eyes, and a sweeter woman you couldn't hope to meet. I trust she has gained her health and confidence now she's back with her brother and his lady wife. She was always so vivacious and full of life."
"Ilada?" Ninian said with a frown. "I fail to see how Remelin would remind you of Ilada. They are of similar age, but in looks, they're nothing alike. Ilada has red hair and brilliant green eyes."
"Yes." Amired looked puzzled.
"But why would Remelin remind you of her? Her fair hair does have red tints, but her eyes are very definitely grey," Ninian said.
"What?" Jhond had risen to his feet, his expression one of concern and uncertainty as his gaze darted from one to the other. "What are you saying? Remi has dark brown hair with eyes of blue!"
Ninian gasped. Jhond was describing Gallia.
* * * *
The men stared at each other, shock and confusion on each of their faces. Jhond belatedly realized he was standing and retook his seat, hating the suspicion and distrust he now felt for Remelin. That one kiss they shared had been wonderful, and it had taken all his strength to bid her goodnight and leave her alone in her cabin. He stared at his hands, palms flat on the table as if to hold steady the world slowly spinning about him. How was this possible? He had kissed her. It had felt right, and he had wanted more. Now he didn't know what to feel, what to think. He looked up at his friends. Was it possible they were affected by a spell and he saw the true Remelin? Even as the thought occurred, he knew it was a lie.
"Jhond?" Ninian spoke his name gently.
He knew Ninian was aware of his growing regard for Remelin, but his friend had mostly kept the knowledge to himself. Now it was going to be addressed.
Amired was merely puzzled. "What's going on? How can we each see a different woman?"
"I believe we see a different version of the same woman," Ninian said. "She's about twenty years of age, medium height, slim figure. Does that tally?"
"Yes," Amired said, while Jhond just nodded. "So how?" Amired asked.
Jhond took a breath. "A spell. Somehow we're all being affected. Seeing Remi as a reminder of someone we know."
"Someone we care about," Ninian whispered.
"But you're the Eynan," Amired commented, as though that would explain everything.
Jhond just glanced at Amired, and the captain shrugged. "It must be the entity," Amired said.
"Except that out here we're free of its influence," Ninian said. With a glance at Jhond, he added, "Or we should be. Is it possible?"
"I don't know how," Jhond said. "It's trapped within my shield. I can still feel it struggling now and then to get free."
"Even now?" Amired asked.
"Yes. More puzzling is why I've been unaware of this, this...subterfuge all this time. As Amired pointed out, I am the Eynan!"
"So, if it is the entity, it must be using a...a conduit," Ninian said.
Jhond felt Ninian's eyes on him, but purposely kept his own gaze on the table. Ninian could read him too well and there was no way he wanted Ninian to know just how close he had gotten to Remelin. Ninian took a breath and ploughed on, "It knows of your...interest in Remelin and is somehow using her to--"
"Have you always seen her as you described?" Jhond interrupted to ask, lifting his head to stare at Ninian, who frowned, whether at the interruption or the question Jhond wasn't sure.
"I've always seen her the way I described her just now since the day we found her," he replied.
"So my
interest
in her has nothing to do with this," Jhond said.
Ninian regarded him steadily for a moment before he replied, "Perhaps not, but I don't doubt it's of significance to the entity and that it will use it in any way it can. I'm sorry, Jhond, but you know it's true."
Amired sucked in a breath. "Ah, I didn't realize. And does she feel the same way?"
Jhond glared at Amired. "You'd have to ask Ninian that. He appears to be the expert."
Ninian sighed. "She confessed to me once that she had feelings for Jhond, but that was before I was aware of Jhond's reaction."
Jhond was very uncomfortable to be at the center of this conversation and got to his feet again. "What matters now is getting to the bottom of this."
"And the only way to do that is to talk to Remelin," Ninian said.
"Yes," Jhond said, walking toward the door.
"Not on your own," Ninian said.
Jhond turned to stare at his friend, but Ninian went on regardless. "She affects you, Jhond. You can't deny it.The entity is using her to get to you. Can't you see that?"
"Are you saying her confession to you was just a ploy?" Amired asked Ninian.
"I don't know. Her feelings may be very real, or they may be nothing but a sham."
"How can you say that?" Jhond demanded. "I know, I
feel
that her emotions are real--"
"You said earlier you had difficulty getting a sense of her personal feelings," Ninian interrupted.
Jhond flushed, but quickly said, "I have trouble delving beneath the surface, but I do know they're real." Ninian raised an eyebrow and seemed about to speak, when Jhond rushed on, "You...had to coax her to confess her feelings for me, so how can you now doubt it! How can you doubt me?" Anger was rolling through him in waves, and he fought to control it. He was tempted to tell them about the kiss, but anger and caution made Jhond keep quiet.
"Because she's under an outside evil influence, and by now, she's a practiced liar," Ninian said, gripping Jhond's shoulders tightly, gazing deeply into his eyes. Jhond sensed Ninian's desperation's as he continued, "Jhond, you need to take a step back and to really,
really
look at the truth of this situation. Think about it. Stop listening to your emotions and use your well-honed logic. She is using your feelings against you."
That hurt, but in that instant, Jhond knew Ninian was right, and just then Jhond hated him for it. Jhond was shocked at his reaction; he could never truly hate Ninian. What was wrong with him? Feeling at a complete loss, he sat down again. "What's wrong with me?" he said. "I feel so out of control."
"Which is likely the intent, and why you cannot speak with her alone. We need to bring her in here," Ninian said.
"She's only been asleep for about an hour," Amired commented. "If we awaken her now, she'll know for certain something is wrong. Isn't it better she--it--isn't prepared before we question her?"
"Very good point, my friend," Ninian said. "Nothing's going to happen while she sleeps. We should take the opportunity to get some rest ourselves. We can deal with this in the morning."
"I'll just check things on deck," Amired said. "Be back in a few minutes."
Jhond knew Amired was giving them a few minutes to themselves, but Jhond didn't want to discuss this with Ninian and went to sit at the table, his back to Ninian. It seemed Ninian felt the same for he said nothing as he spelled two sleeping pallets into existence in the narrow space between the cabin wall and the existing bed.
"Not much room," Ninian said, "but it's better than sitting in those hard chairs all night." He lay down, and Jhond felt Ninian's eyes on his back.
Jhond debated sleeping in the bed, but decided it was better to leave that to the captain. Taking the other pallet, Jhond settled down on his side with his back to Ninian. "Sleep well," he said quietly.
He tensed as he felt Ninian's hand on his shoulder. "You, too, my friend."
Suddenly swamped by guilt, knowing Ninian only had his best interest at heart, Jhond grasped the hand on his shoulder and gave it squeeze.
* * * *
Amired woke them early the next morning, saying he had duties to attend to, adding, "Call me if you need me when you confront Remelin."
Ninian got up, watching as Jhond moved out of the way and took a seat at the table, leaning his head in his cupped hands. Ninian reversed his spell and the sleeping pallets disappeared. He was aware Jhond hadn't slept well, tossing and turning all night. Ninian had tried to sleep, but his concern for Jhond had kept him awake most of the night, too.
"Do you think Amired should be here when we speak with Remelin?" Ninian asked tentatively.
Jhond straightened up and looked at Ninian for the first time that morning. "Yes, I think he needs to be. He's being affected by whatever is happening, too."
"Good, I--" Ninian was interrupted by a knock at the door. He opened it to find a smiling Remelin standing there.
"Good morning," she said, her wide smile embracing both of them, though Ninian noticed it lingered a little longer on Jhond. "I went on deck and the weather is beautiful today...cold but bright. It made me feel good. And hungry," she added with a laugh.
"As ever," Ninian said, determined to keep his voice level and calm.
Jhond gave her a distracted smile. Getting to his feet, he said, "I'll just go and get a breath of fresh air and invite Amired to join us for breakfast." He backed toward the door, opened it and left.
"Is he alright? He seems preoccupied," Remelin commented.
"I don't think he slept too well," Ninian said truthfully.
"The sea air will help," she said, taking a seat at the table.
Ninian studied her as if somehow he would see a different Remelin to the one he always had, but she was just the same. He shook his head as though somehow that would help.
"You look a bit preoccupied yourself, Ninian," she said.
"Do I? No, just a little tired."
"Not very conducive to sleep three in this small cabin," she commented.
"No." Ninian was relieved to hear voices indicating Jhond was returning with Amired.
They entered, and Amired paused to stare at Remelin, shaking himself to smile at her and wish her good morning.
"Remelin is hungry. You two want breakfast, too?" Ninian asked. He saw as Jhond hesitate before he nodded.
"Aye," Amired said. "The sea always makes one hungry."
Ninian worked his magic and provided a large bowl of porridge, fresh bread with butter and honey, a variety of fruits, hot beverages and a jug of cold water. Plates, dishes and cutlery appeared in front of each place. Everyone filled dishes, plates and mugs, and there was little talk as they tucked in. Ninian noted that though he and Jhond ate little, Amired and Remelin tried everything at least once.
It wasn't long before the serving dishes were empty and even Remelin sat back, replete and happy.
She grinned at Amired. "I've already told Ninian I've got to have one of those Judral stones. Do you have one?"
"Wouldn't do me any good," he replied. "I don't have the wherewithal to use one."