The Fairbairn Girls (13 page)

Yet at moments like this she wondered how much more suffering she could endure without their knowing and without their support. When Walter didn’t drink he was a perfect husband and she treasured the times, always hoping they’d last for ever, but then he’d have a drink – one small drink – and be unable to stop as he crashed around the house, knocking things over and causing fearful destruction. Most damaged of all was Neil, who was spending more and more time at his Aunt Rowena’s, who could ensure the child had a peaceful routine.

It was a long day and Laura spent it in her bedroom listening to the yells of fury and the screams of rage as Walter searched for alcohol and tried to break down the wine cellar door.

Then there were long silences which she found almost worse as they gave vent to her vivid imaginations. At one point she left her room and went on to the landing to listen but all was still. After a bit she returned to her room and lay down on the bed, exhausted. Then she heard a dog barking and howling as if in distress and she sprang to her feet, shaking all over. They didn’t have a dog. She’d sworn never to keep dogs after a lifetime of being surrounded by them. The hideous noise was coming nearer. Then she heard scratching on her bedroom door and the handle shook. Too late, she realized she’d forgotten to lock it. Picking up the little mahogany chair by her dressing table, she held it with its legs, pointing to the door which had now sprung open.

Laura barely recognized the blind-looking man who was on his hands and knees growling like an animal. Dishevelled and bloated, his filthy clothes were stinking of methylated spirits while from his swollen mouth a trickle of black ink dripped down his chin on to the carpet.

‘Walter!’ Her voice was filled with despair as he slumped unconscious at her feet.

‘I always knew something was not quite right,’ Georgie claimed robustly as soon as she arrived at Lasswade Hall, where she and her siblings had turned up on hearing that Walter was desperately ill in hospital and might not survive.

‘Well, I didn’t,’ Lizzie said comfortingly, placing her hand on Laura’s arm. ‘I know I was against you marrying him at the time but whenever I saw you together I thought you looked very happy.’

‘We were . . . we
are
happy. Except when he starts drinking,’ Laura protested, determined not to cry but thankful she didn’t have to pretend in front of her family any more that everything was perfect.

‘How long has this been going on?’ Beattie enquired. ‘Had you no idea at all that he was a drunkard when you got married?’

‘Of course I didn’t know,’ she retorted. ‘Something triggers his need for alcohol and he can’t help himself.’

‘Then he must be weak,’ Georgie said disparagingly.

‘No, it’s not like that.’ Laura spoke angrily now. ‘The doctor explained the difference between people who like the occasional drink and people who have a compulsion to drink until . . .’ Her voice faltered.

‘You must be so worried about him and I know how much you really love him,’ Diana said sympathetically. ‘Will he be in hospital for long?’

‘I don’t know. He’s very ill.’ For once she sounded defeated. Walter had been unconscious when the ambulance had taken him to the nearest hospital. They’d told her to go home and said that they would let her know when he regained consciousness. This was the worst ‘attack’, as she called it, that he’d ever had and she worried desperately about the future. He was no longer a young man with the stamina to cope with vast quantities of alcohol, not to mention poison like methylated spirits and bottles of ink.

‘Oh, Laura, darling.’ Diana stroked her arm. ‘I’m so sorry and I think you’ve been wonderful the way you’ve coped for the past few years. I don’t know how you’ve done it. Why didn’t you tell us before? You know we’d have helped if you needed anything.’

Beattie, pregnant with her first baby, echoed Diana’s sentiments. ‘It must have been agonizing for you. No wonder you always had to send Caroline away when it happened.’

‘You were a friend of Walter’s first wife, weren’t you?’ Lizzie asked. ‘Did she never mention his drinking?’

‘Why should she? I expect she was as ashamed as I’ve been, although I now realize it’s an illness and not an indulgence on Walter’s part.’

‘Tell us what you’re going to do, Laura?’ Diana said peaceably.

‘What can I do? He’s Caroline’s father and I still love him. I wish someone had really warned me, though. His sister could so easily have said something but I suppose she wanted him to get married again so Neil would have a stepmother. John Osborne could have warned me, but I suppose as he’s Walter’s best friend and they were at Fettes College together, his loyalty to Walter came first.’

‘Are they still friends?’

‘Yes. John is an accountant, though not Walter’s accountant. He’s an unofficial advisor on stocks and shares and all that. Whenever Walter falls apart from drinking, John keeps an eye on his finances. Arranges the bills to be paid and makes sure I get the housekeeping allowance. I don’t know how I’d manage without him.’

‘He’s lucky to have a friend like that,’ Lizzie remarked.

Laura nodded. ‘John is wonderful and so nice.’

‘Walter ought to go around with a warning label hanging from his neck,’ Georgie complained. ‘Even you, Laura, weren’t desperate enough to marry a raging alcoholic.’

‘Unlike you, I wasn’t desperate at all,’ Laura retorted coldly. ‘I already had a life of my own and a successful career, which is more than you have.’

Laura flung her arms around Lizzie. ‘I’m so happy for you,’ she exclaimed. ‘Humphrey is one of the nicest men in the world.’

‘I know.’ Lizzie beamed, looking once again at her ruby and diamond engagement ring. ‘I can’t believe how lucky I am. Who would have thought we’d meet lying on our stomachs in the middle of Dumfrieshire whilst deer stalking? I didn’t even want to go and stay with the Buccleuchs but Mama insisted and now thank goodness she did.’

‘You were obviously destined to meet.’ Diana sighed. ‘It’s just so romantic.’

‘Don’t tell me Lizzie didn’t know what she was doing,’ Georgie scoffed. ‘Mama and Lizzie have a natural born instinct, like bats in the dark, to head for men with titles. He’s only a Bart but you will be Lady Garding and aren’t you going to love it!’

Lizzie flushed with annoyance. ‘I didn’t know he was Sir Humphrey when we were introduced. I don’t suppose he knew I was Lady Elizabeth either. You’re the one in this family who is fixated on titles, Georgie. We’ve got our own. Why should we need to marry for someone else’s?’

Georgie shrugged and tossed her head angrily. She knew she’d inherited her father’s heavy jaw and she was also painfully aware of her plumpness compared to the slender elegance of her sisters. Beside the others she was clumsy and ungainly but she couldn’t help it. The only satisfaction she got in life was trying to pull her sisters down a peg or two but it rarely worked. She was the one who always ended up feeling inferior.

‘When are you planning to get married?’ Beattie asked Lizzie.

‘Humphrey suggested October. That gives us six months to get everything organized.’ Lizzie’s face glowed with happiness. ‘We’d better get Mrs Armitage to come earlier this year because she’ll have to make my wedding dress.’

Laura’s heart lurched painfully and she looked away. This was what she’d been saying nearly four years ago when she’d been about to marry Rory. By now they’d probably have had a couple of children and be having a lovely life dividing their time between his house in the south of England and London. They’d made so many lovely plans and her longing to be married to him had consumed her at the time.

She clenched her fists now and dug her nails into the palms of her hands to prevent the upsurge of tears that threatened to spoil the happy occasion for Lizzie. Oh, but how desperately she still missed Rory and the closeness she’d never experienced with anyone else. They’d had so many mutual interests and likes and dislikes, but most of all she missed the laughter that ran through their relationship like a sparkling stream. Gone. All gone. She was no longer the light-hearted and vivacious girl he’d proposed to four years ago and she missed that part of herself as much as she missed him.

Knowing what she was thinking, Diana flung her arm around Laura’s shoulders in silent sympathy.

To lighten the moment Laura said jokingly, ‘We’ll never speak to you again if you don’t invite us all to be bridesmaids.’

‘Mrs Armitage is going to have her work cut out this year and Mama is going to want a special outfit for the wedding, too.’

The girls all started babbling merrily, knowing their parents would lay on a splendid wedding for their eldest daughter, each of them wondering who would marry next. Except for Laura. For she knew it would never happen now.

The loud
tock
of the mallet hitting the wooden ball through the iron hoop in the grass until it hit the peg was followed by a cheer from Henry, while the girls clapped in approval. Croquet had become the rage in the Fairbairn family that spring ever since Sir Humphrey Gardin had presented Lord and Lady Rothbury with the game as a thank-you present for inviting him to stay most weekends at Lochlee since his engagement to Lizzie had been announced.

‘Let’s have another match, old feller,’ Henry exclaimed excitedly.

‘We could play against Lizzie and Laura this time.’

‘Aren’t you afraid of being beaten?’ Laura asked spiritedly.

‘We don’t mind allowing you girls to win occasionally,’ Humphrey teased.

‘
Allow?
’ Lizzie mocked. ‘Such cheek!’

The two girls threw off their capes and picked up the mallets.

‘We’ll slaughter you,’ Laura challenged.

‘This I’ve got to see,’ Beattie chortled from the iron bench where she and her mother were watching.

Lady Rothbury laughed indulgently. After the horror of the past year and still no sight or news of Freddie’s whereabouts, it was a relief to sit in the sunshine again and watch her family playing happily together, especially with her future son-in-law.

Diana and Georgie came out of the castle a few minutes later, glad to see their mother joining in the family activities once more.

‘We should get the tennis court mowed so we can start playing again,’ Diana suggested.

‘We don’t usually have such lovely weather in April,’ Lady Rothbury pointed out. ‘I do hope it doesn’t mean we’ll have a wet summer.’

‘Why should we?’ Georgie said. ‘The weather in Scotland is sometimes better than it is in England.’

‘Not often.’

‘Oh, Mama! Don’t always look on the dark side. What we really have to hope for is a fine October for Lizzie’s wedding. I love it best in the autumn when everything turns gold,’ exclaimed Laura.

Lady Rothbury smiled serenely for once. ‘I’m sure it will be a golden autumn.’

McEwan came hurrying across the lawn towards them looking flustered. ‘M’Lady,’ he said breathlessly. ‘His Lordship has had an accident. A bad one, I’m afraid.’

Everything stopped at that moment. They all looked at him and Lady Rothbury started trembling. ‘What’s happened?’

‘His Lordship has been thrown from his horse. They’re bringing him home on a stretcher.’

Before he’d finished speaking Henry and Humphrey had dropped their mallets and were racing towards the castle entrance, followed by the girls.

Lady Rothbury got to her feet with difficulty and nearly stumbled, but McEwan managed to catch her by the arm.

‘Allow me, M’Lady. Someone has gone to fetch Doctor Andrews. I’m sure he’ll come as fast as he can.’

As soon as she saw his face and the strange angle of his body as he was laid carefully on their bed her worst fears were realized.

‘William,’ she whispered brokenly.

‘I’m done for,’ he whispered, his eyes closed.

‘Where does it hurt?’

There was a long pause between his words. ‘Nowhere. Nothing.’

‘I think he’s broken his neck,’ Sir Humphrey whispered, leaning forward. Henry was holding his father’s hand while Laura and Lizzie with Beattie, Georgie and Diana clustered around the bed, their faces white and drawn with concern. The Earl, normally so strong and domineering, so powerful and formidable, lay broken as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

When Dr Andrews arrived he quickly examined Lord Rothbury and confirmed their worst fears. Drawing Lady Rothbury to one side, he spoke in a low voice. ‘I think the wee girls should be brought down from the nursery to say their goodbyes,’ he suggested.

Lady Rothbury nodded, unable to speak. Of all the horrors she’d had to face in the past, this was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. ‘Get Nanny to bring down Alice, Flora and Catriona,’ she whispered to Lizzie, whose eyes flew wide open with shock.

‘Is it as bad as that?’ she asked hoarsely.

Her mother nodded, unable to speak before returning to her husband’s side again.

As if he’d sensed her presence, he opened his eyes and tried to speak.

‘I’m here, William,’ she whispered.

‘Alone.’ His voice was faint but urgent.

‘Do you want to speak to me alone?’ she asked.

He made an effort to move his head but then his face screwed up in agony and he let out a groan.

Sir Humphrey stood on the other side of the bed. ‘Would you like us all to wait outside for a few minutes?’ he whispered.

‘I don’t want . . .’ Lizzie began.

He put his arm around her and said softly, ‘I think your parents would like a few minutes alone, darling. Then you can all come back.’

She nodded and the family trooped out on to the landing while Henry quietly closed their bedroom door. Then he turned to Sir Humphrey.

‘He’s not going to make it, is he?’ His voice shook but he did his best to be brave in front of all his sisters, who were now openly weeping.

Sir Humphrey whispered, ‘I fear not.’

Alone with William in their big bedroom where she’d conceived and given birth to eleven of their children, Margaret Rothbury lay down beside him for the last time. Looking into his face, she laid her hand on his shoulder. ‘We’re alone now, William.’

His eyes opened again and he spoke slowly and with obvious effort. ‘I have a son, Margaret. He was born a month before Freddie.’