The Fake Boyfriend Experiment (18 page)

“No way. It’s great.” I took a sip of my water and enjoyed the sight of Les lurking by the punch bowl, looking annoyed. “Just don’t ever ask me to sing with you.”

He raised his brows. “You think you can’t sing?”

Like there was any doubt about that! “Oh, I know I can’t sing.”

“Everyone can sing. You just gotta practice.”

I frowned. “No, really, I can’t.”

He snorted in disbelief. “Sure you can. You just have to try.”

I sighed as I thought of Rafe and how he’d accepted my lack of singing ability. How he suffered from the same thing. He got me and didn’t want me to change. Oh, crud, I was thinking about Rafe again. Yeah, okay, so this was not the right train of thought. I needed to stop! I held up my hand as Chris continued to push on the singing thing. “Let it go, okay?”

He fell silent for a moment, and then I felt bad. I mean, he’d been super nice and all. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t Rafe. “You want to dance?”

He grinned, and his shoulders relaxed. “Definitely.”

I let him grab my hand and tug me to my feet. I loved to dance, and I was going to get over Rafe and have fun with Chris, end of story.

* * *

We were standing on my front steps after the dance.

Me.

Chris.

In the dark.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, his face sort of shadowed by the porch light. “So, I had a ton of fun tonight. Thanks for inviting me.”

I grinned. “Thanks for coming. You’re an awesome dancer.”

“So are you.” He slipped his hand out of his pocket and brushed his fingers over the skirt of my dress. “This looks great on you.”

My pulse started to thrum with nerves at the look on his face. “Um, thanks.”

He set his other hand on my waist and sort of leaned in. “Lily...”

Uh, oh. He was going to kiss me. I bent backwards as he leaned closer, my heart racing. He was cute. He was nice. He liked me. I should kiss him...shouldn’t I?

I should. Rafe was out of my life. He wasn’t going to be my first kiss and that was the way it was.

I lifted my face and waited as Chris leaned in... closer... almost there... then I turned my head and let his lips hit my cheek. He made a noise of surprise and snapped his eyes open.

“I gotta go!” I spun around and raced inside and slammed the door shut before he could speak.

I ran all the way up to my room and dove onto my bed, as the reality of what had just happened hit me. I sat up in horror. What had I just done? I’d run away and slammed the door in my date’s face! The one guy who was interested in me and I’d just made it impossible to ever speak to him again.

I grabbed my pillow, smashed it over my face and screamed.

Then I ran into the bathroom and jammed my tooth brush into my mouth while I quickly put on makeup. I took a couple extra minutes to get a little bit of attitude into my hair just to make sure no one would confuse me with a no-passion, boring classical pianist.

I took a deep breath and stared at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes were glowing and I looked…wow…I looked like I would own any piano that tried to come between me and my passion. Damn, I liked that look. I liked who was staring back at me. A lot. “Okay, Lily,” I whispered. “Let’s do this!”

I ran down the stairs, out the door and down the front walk.

Rafe was still there, just as I knew he would be. He sat up as I slowed to a stop next to the Jeep. I couldn’t see his eyes because of his sunglasses. What was he thinking? I really wished I knew.

Neither of us said anything for a minute.

Then he cleared his throat. “So, audition?”

My heart was pounding, and I fisted my hands in my lace gloves. “Why would I want to go to the audition?”

“Because piano’s fun.”

“So?” I was tempted, so tempted, but I was afraid, too. Afraid that the outfit and the hair wouldn’t be enough to keep me from falling into the hell that had tried to consume me before.

“So you can go and play something you like,” Rafe said. “Not something classical. Make it fun.”

I pressed my lips together, knowing a part of me agreed with him. Piano had been different for me since I’d met Rafe. Fun.

“You’re brilliant on the piano. You deserve this break.”

I felt a bubble of warmth in my chest. “Brilliant, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” I dragged my toe through the dirt. I really did want to go. On my terms. With Rafe, but without my parents, Crusty or anyone else knowing. Just us. Having fun.

“Lily?”

But could I handle going to the audition with Rafe? Knowing we were just friends and that’s all it would ever be?

But, then again, he was here, even knowing that I’d lied. He didn’t hate me, so why should I hate him? Why should I feel stupid around him?

I took a deep breath and hopped into the Jeep. “We’ll go check it out. I’m not saying I’m going to play or anything.”

He grinned and started the engine. “Agreed.”

Then he turned on the radio, pulled away from the curb, and started to sing along to JamieX.

I grinned and joined right in.

We sounded horrific together, and it was awesome.

* * *

Ninety minutes later, I was sitting next to Rafe in the back of the auditorium at NESM, listening to each music prodigy play. The room was awe-inspiring, with a tremendous cathedral ceiling with beautiful engravings across the entire expanse of it. Deep maroon velvet seats matched the majestic curtains on the stage, and the way the sound carried was so full and rich that I was instantly mesmerized.

It was a place weighted with a century of tradition, of the study of music at a depth I’d never manage. It was a place for corduroy dresses and velvet bows, for artists who knew how to honor the greatest composers in history. It was so beyond me, and what I was. No wonder Crusty had worked me over so much for this audition. Mediocrity was an insult to this place, and I knew I’d never measure up.

And the other people auditioning… God. They were incredible. I’d never heard so many talented people, and I knew I didn’t belong. But I wanted to belong. I hadn’t expected to want to, but I did. So much. I burned with the desire to go up there and make this place mine.

But I was terrified to go up there and pretend I was worthy of this place. All I could think of was sitting down at the piano and freezing up like I’d done the first day I’d practiced with the band and hadn’t been able to tap out even the most basic notes. Just the thought of walking onto that stage made my entire body stiffen and my heart start to race. I didn’t want to go up there and play the way I played for Crusty, dry and passionless. Now that I knew what I could do, that kind of performance wouldn’t be enough, not for because I wanted to impress Crusty, but because I wanted to do it for myself.

Rafe leaned over, his breath warm against my ear. “You’re better than they are.”

I shook my head, gripping my fingers in my lap.

He tugged on my hair playfully. “How can you deny it? You belong up there.”

“Really?” I turned to face him, throwing a challenge at him. “I’m no better than you are. If I belong up there, why aren’t you up there?”

He looked startled by my comment. “Me?”

“Yeah.” I propped my elbow on the seat arm. “Why not you?”

He stared at me for a moment, then shook his head. “I don’t know. I never thought about it.”

I cocked my head, a sudden idea forming. “I’ll do it if you do it with me.” I couldn’t do it alone, but with Rafe, I knew I’d be able to play like I wanted to. I’d be able to lose myself in our music, instead of getting too panicked and uptight to play.

His eyebrows went up. “Seriously?”

“Sure, why not? We’ll do that song you wrote for the band.”

“That’s hard core rock.” His eyebrows went even higher. “You’re auditioning for their classical program, not their contemporary one.”

“So? A girl can change her mind.” I tensed as the woman down front called out my name. Oh, God. This was it. My moment. I perched on the edge of my chair, wanting so desperately to go up there, but knowing I couldn’t do it alone. “So? You in? The drums are already on the stage.”

He met my gaze for a long moment, then his face lit up with determination and excitement. “Let’s go have some fun.”

“Awesome!” I leapt to my feet, excitement whirring through me. I was really going to do this, on my terms! Rafe grabbed my hand, and I squeezed his tightly, so happy to feel his hand around mine. We were a team again, a partnership that no one could mess with.

He held my hand all the way down to the stage. He didn’t even let go while I informed the woman in charge that I was changing my audition and that Rafe was joining me. She tried to protest, but we ignored her and walked over to the instruments anyway.

I sat down at the piano and my heart started to hammer as I looked at all those gleaming white keys. My whole body tensed up and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do it. I—

The auditorium filled with the sound of Rafe’s drumsticks clicking against each other as he started the beat. The noise pulsed in my chest, filling me with the energy of his music. I looked up and saw him watching me.

He grinned and flipped his head to get his hair out of his eyes. He was wearing black jeans, a faded tee shirt and old sneakers. His tattoo was sparkling on his arm, the sunlight that had shattered into rainbow fragments. He was so Rafe, and so not of my classical music world. I remembered what it had felt like in that piano bar, when music had become personal and passionate. I felt that rush of excitement from when Rafe and I had played together in those jam sessions, our music igniting the air with such fire it had nearly exploded inside me.

Rafe didn’t take his gaze off me as he began to play. The powerful beat thudded in my chest, like shocks of electricity pulsing through me, jerking me out of my stupor and thrusting me into the person I wanted to be.

I grinned at him and tapped my fingers on the keys. The sound was clear and pure, filling the air with magic. I grinned and played more. Rafe upped his tempo, raising his eyebrows at his challenge. I laughed at him and answered him with the piano.

He came right back at me, an arrogant gleam in his eye, as if he knew he was going to outplay me. Hah! No chance! Adrenaline rushed through me, and I unleashed the music, letting it pour from me into the piano, across the stage and right at Rafe.

He grinned and suddenly his drums sprang to life, and I knew he wasn’t holding back any more. Not even one tiny bit. Elation rushed through me and I attacked the piano. I could feel the energy building, as if we were back in the piano bar, only this time it was Rafe and I in a battle for life, for energy, for the truth of who we were.

The music came alive, until all that was left was me and my piano, Rafe and his drums. The rest of the world disappeared, swept into the magic of the inferno we were creating. It was the best music I’d ever heard, felt, or played, and I knew then that music was who I was, and I loved it with every fiber of my being.

This was where I belonged! I slammed my fingers onto the keys and Rafe’s sticks flew over his drums with mind-numbing speed as our music rose to the crescendo and then boom!

We were done.

The room was utterly silent. The only sound was our heavy breathing, my heart thudding in my chest so loudly I felt like it would burst free. Rafe smiled at me and nodded.

Just a nod, that was it, but it said everything.

The room suddenly exploded with applause and screams as people leapt to their feet, shouting and cheering with enthusiasm that had no place at a classical music audition. It felt incredible! I knew then that it didn’t matter if I got in to NESM or not. It was enough that I’d come to the audition and kicked butt my way. Because I had. I’d found my place.

Lily Gardner was no longer a musical failure. Lily Gardner was simply music.

The woman in charge called the next name. I leapt off the stage and Rafe landed next to me. He grabbed me and swept me up in a big hug. “You were brilliant.”

I hugged him back. “Thanks to you! You were awesome too!”