Chapter Thirty-eight
Verona entered Mount Moriah Baptist Church with her head held high. There was a hush before recognition rippled through the crowd. She ignored the whispering and talking behind the hands and even the not-so-subtle finger pointing. As she walked to the front pew, she reminded herself she had a higher purpose for being there.
Each time she clapped and said amen to her dad's message, her eyes had roamed the crowds searching for Elijah. Verona spotted a blue-haired, lanky teen with double pierced ears. Her mother whispered, “That's him.”
What happened to the clean-cut kid in the pictures she'd studied all night? She wondered about the Smiths' parenting skills. But, of course, Verona was in no position to say anything. She was the runaway parent, the absentee mom. She had no rights.
She barely made it through the service before dragging her mom in tow.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you he goes by Jah,” Louisa said.
“Jah?” Verona enunciated the word like she was speaking Chinese.
“Yes, he prefers to be addressed that way now.” Her mother pulled her forward. On wobbly legs, Verona made her way over to where Elijah stood. He had his hands shoved into his pockets and stood with his chest puffed out.
“Hello, Mother,” Elijah said, and stuck out his hand.
Verona froze when she saw something on the back of his hand. A tattoo. She did not relish the idea of a fifteen-year-old sporting a tat. Nevertheless, she took Elijah's hand in hers and made her first contact with her son.
Her heart leapt and her mouth formed a perfect O. Wonderment filled her being. Verona was holding her son's hand.
With her free hand, Verona touched her chest. “My son,” she whispered. Tears filled her eyes.
He gave a gawky grin. “Elijah,” she said, testing his name out on her lips.
“Jah,” her mother corrected.
Verona released short raspy breaths. “Jah,” she said.
A crowd was forming behind them. Verona did not care. Self-conscious, Elijah pulled his hand away. She quickly released her death grip.
“I'm sorry. I'm just . . .” Verona trailed off. “I don't know what to say. You're much taller than I remembered.”
He chuckled. “Yes. Grandpa said I'd probably be taller than he is, soon.”
Her Cheshire cat grin was a bit off-putting. Verona knew that. But she could not stop her cheeks from spreading. “I dreamt of this day!” she exclaimed. She placed a hand on his cheek. Grazing her hand down Elijah's face, she felt signs of stubble. “You shave?”
He bent his head, his embarrassment evident by his slight blush. “Yes, I had to grow up sometime.”
Verona's brain had frozen a different picture. This was not the two-year-old running through the choir stands she had left thirteen years ago. Elijah was almost a man. Fully grown.
“I think we should go,” Louisa said. “Your father's waiting. We're going to Golden Corral for lunch.”
Verona nodded. They walked toward her father's car. She took Elijah's hand. Savoring the feel of holding her son's hand. “Are you coming with us?”
Elijah froze midstride. “No, I'm meeting up with friends. My mom said I could. I didn't know . . .” Verona didn't miss he was looking at his grandmother. He was still very shy to address her. She understood. Even if her heart ached because of it.
“It's okay, Jah. We'll see you later.”
“I'll see you later. Uhm, yes, Mother. I'll call you or something.” He said “Mother” as “Moth-er.” The endearment was stuck in his throat. Verona made a move to follow him. Her father held her arm.
“He'll come over to the house this evening,” Noel said. “Remember yourself at that age?”
She nodded. She watched Elijah sprint across the parking lot. Verona pined for him already. “I wish he were coming with us. This is a special day for me. Why did the Smiths say he could go out with friends? Maybe they don't want him around me. Maybe he really doesn't want me popping up in his life now.” Doubts filled her mind. Verona swayed into her father's chest.
Noel peered into her face. “It's a special day for him too, honey. He needs time to process. The Smiths will drop Elijah off later. This isn't good-bye. Don't get dramatic about it.”
Verona stood, watching. Elijah went over to a group of kids. He piled into a car along with them. He had dismissed her already. She exhaled. As the car drove by, Elijah pinned her with a gaze. Then he lifted his hand in a small wave. He turned his head to watch her until the car was no longer in view.
Verona's heart lifted. This was not the end. This was just the beginning.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Keith bolted awake. He shook Gina from her slumber. “Three days and three nights,” he voiced in the dark of the night.
“Who are you? Jonah the Prophet? Go back to sleep,” she grumbled.
He shook her again. One evil eye popped open to zoom in on him. “God wants us to fast and pray for three days and three nights, beginning tomorrow,” he told her.
Gina yawned. “For who? And, how is it âus'? Why isn't it ever just you? How do I end up in the mix?”
He squeezed her thigh. “We're a team, baby. Mindy needs us.”
“Mindy?” Gina propped up her body with her hands. Then glared at him. “You mean to tell me God wants us to do three days of praying and fasting for the girl who put your brother in jail? You sure you got that right?”
“Yup.”
Gina rolled her eyes.
“Don't hate the messenger.”
She smirked. “For the life of me, I don't understand why God can't talk to you at a decent hour.”
“It's near the breaking of the day. Don't you know this is when God does His best work? Remember when Jacob wrestled with the angel? When do you think he received his blessing?” He tilted her body back and forth with his hand to tease her. Gina was cute when rattled.
“Listen, save the Bible trivia for someone who cares, vampire preacher,” she protested and burrowed deeper into the covers.
Keith chuckled. He knew despite her protests, Gina would join him. She was a prayer warrior when she was awake. Right now, she was most concerned with getting back to sleep.
All that squirming took Keith's thoughts in a different direction. “Babe, are you asleep?”
“Yes.”
“Now you know you couldn't answer me if you were sleeping.”
“You asked me a stupid question, you get a wise answer. How am I supposed to fall asleep that fast?”
In a swift move, Keith moved Gina's body beneath his and rocked his hips.
“Was this a part of God's message too?” she asked, fully alert.
He could not help the deep rumble in his chest as he tried not to laugh. “It's been awhile.”
She pushed against his chest. He barely felt her tiny hands but complied. “It's a hard road to travel,” he sang loud enough for her to hear.
Gina's body shook with laughter. “I'll make it up to you. I promise. Trey and E.J. both have dental appointments at eight a.m. tomorrow.”
“I know you're hands-on. So am I, but this is God's business. Josie can sit with them and drop them off at school when they're done.” Keith poked her on the nose. “You're on the spiritual clock tomorrow. We'll go to the church and break our fast in the evening. I'll invite Michael. This will be a spiritual boot camp experience for him.”
“Don't expect too much.”
“I'm not wet behind the ears, lady. Of course, I know that. Michael can do what he can, but what better way to learn how to move God's hand? We need God to fight this battle or Michael's going down.”
“I wish I'd known.” Gina yawned.
“Known what?”
“That I'd be fasting tomorrow. I would have eaten those shortbread cookies and had my pistachio ice cream earlier tonight.”
“Well, you're always saying you need to lose weight.”
He was granted a hefty punch to the stomach.
“Are you calling me fat?”
Lord, couldn't you have bridled my tongue?
There was only one way out of this pickle. Diversion. “Of course not. I know how you could burn a good five hundred or so calories.”
That got her attention. “How?”
“I can show you,” Keith suggested with a wiggle of his brows.
She gave him a playful slap. “Game on.”
He did not need any further encouragement.
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Now that what he wanted for the past three years was within reach, he was not sure.
In Keith's home gym, Michael started a slow jog on the treadmill intending to hit the five-mile point.
He was engaged to Lauren.
This meant she would need a very large token on her left hand. He increased the pace. Problem was he was confined here. He went a little faster. He could not ask Verona to use his funds to purchase a ring. He pushed it until sweat dripped from his body.
Grabbing a towel, Michael hit the stop button. Keith had entered the room just as he finished his pushups. Keith headed straight for the weights. Michael spotted for him.
“I don't know about you, but I've worked up quite the appetite from this workout. What's Josie cooking for breakfast?”
Keith had a sheepish expression on his face. “I should've mentioned this earlier. Josie is out of commission for the next three days. Gina and I will be fasting. The kids will eat cereal or something.”
Michael's stomach chose that precise moment to signal its distress. He banished the visions of Josie's pancakes floating around his head. “I'll help myself to cereal as well. No problem.”
“Well, Gina and I hoped you'd take up fasting and prayer with us. Fasting and prayer are the keys to communicate with God.”
No food. Michael wasn't feeling that idea. He loved his meals and snacks. “I don't think I can go without food for three days.”
“We break in the evenings,” Keith pointed out.
“I suppose,” Michael agreed. “What would we be doing exactly?”
“We read the scriptures. Share on the Word. We pray. We're seeking God's face on Mindy's behalf.”
“Mindy?” That was his way out right there. There was no way Michael was going to give up his favorites for the girl responsible his getting tossed in jail not once, but twice.
“This is not about Mindy alone. Giving up your food shows God you're willing to make a sacrifice as He did for us.”
Michael nodded, though he did not fully comprehend.
Keith added, “I know some of what I'm saying will go right over your head, but God directed me to go into prayer for Mindy. I want this case over and done with so you can begin a new path with God. “
“I want that too,” Michael said as they left the room.
“You don't have to go all day. Do what you can. God is pleased with any genuine sacrifice you make for Him.”
“As it happens, my schedule is clear,” Michael said, attempting humor. He gave Keith a small pat on the back. “Speaking of new paths, I think this is the best time to tell you I asked Lauren to marry me last night.”
Chapter Forty
“I'm not punching you in the face again. Don't bother to ask.”
Mindy pushed at the door but Finn was using his foot as a doorstop. She had taken a cab into the city specifically to see him and she was not leaving until she did. Her father had kept her under tight security for the past month. Today was her first opportunity to get away. “Let me in. That's not why I'm here.”
She felt the door give way and strutted into Finn's apartment. He lived above his nightclub. This was the first time Mindy had entered his space.
“Consider that the first and last time I put my hands on a woman. I may be many things but a woman beater isn't one of them.”
“Finn, quit the nonsense. The couple punches you gave me didn't put me in the hospital. Obviously, I had help from another friend,” was her blithe reply before she mumbled, “Not that it did any good. They thought Michael did it.”
Finn must have heard her. He gave Mindy an odd look. “Why would you want to hurt yourself? Why would you want to mar your lovely face? I don't get you, Mousie . . . er, Mindy.”
“If it's any consolation, I don't get me either.” Mindy plopped her foot on his couch. “I have a problem. One I can't explain right now. But, I've taken care of my dad.” She stopped, wondering if she had said too much.
Finn must have decided he did not want to know because he let her cryptic comment slide. “Fair enough. Why are you here?” he asked.
“I need to know what you plan to do to Michael.”
He turned away from her. “That's none of your concern. You messed up the plan anyways. Your father wanted his head on a platter. Now Michael is staying with his brother so plans are on hold. Bill doesn't want to mess with a preacher.”
Mindy smiled. “I'm glad I was able to help thwart the plan. I know Michael doesn't see it that way, but I saved his life.”
Then, Mindy did something she had never done. She initiated contact. She walked behind Finn and circled his waist. With her head rested on his back, she said, “I don't want you involved. It would hurt me if you were arrested or took the fall doing my father's dirty work.”
Finn faced her with wide eyes. “Are you saying you care about what happens to me? In all my twenty-seven years, I haven't had anyone care about me.”
It took every ounce of will she possessed, but Mindy knew she could do it. She could reach out and love and be loved. “Yes, I care.”
“May I touch you?”
Her heart thumped.
Don't back out now.
She nodded. As Finn's head lowered, Mindy held her breath. Tentative, he placed his lips on hers.
Mindy blinked. Nothing happened. Had she been worried for nothing?
After several seconds, Finn lifted his head. “Are you okay?”
Breathe, girl.
“Yes.” Mindy turned so Finn would not disappointment plastered on her face. She swiped at a tear forming under her eyelids. She was unlovable.
Suddenly, two strong hands clenched her arms and twisted her around. Finn lifted her chin. He made her look at him. “Not what you expected?”
She shook her head.
“Was that your first kiss?”
She nodded.
“Well, the second will be better. I promise.” This time Finn kissed her so good Mindy's toes curled. She groaned when he pulled away.
He laughed. “Better?”
She nodded. “More.”
“Tell me what's wrong with you first.”
Mindy took a deep breath.
Here goes nothing.
She needed to say the words. Even if it meant he freaked out. Even if it meant threw her out. Mindy needed to tell another human being. Her father refused to entertain the discussion.
“I have suffered from dissociative identity disorder since I was a young child,” she said.
Finn took one step back. “What kind of disorder?”
“I have multiple personalities. I've been taking my medications. I've been good the past couple of days.”
He eyed her like she was the girl from
The Exorcist.
Mindy took a step toward him. He took two steps back.
No, please don't reject me.
She felt her helpers waiting to take over. No, she needed to stand.
“I'm not contagious, Finn. Please don't run from me,” Mindy pleaded. Every ache she felt at feeling alone in the world resounded in her words.
“What do you want from me?” Finn asked. He put more distance between them. “I thought you were crazy. I didn't know you were crazy crazy.”
Mindy's shoulders slumped.
Let me have at him,
Mousie demanded.
Mindy closed her eyes.
No.
Overcome with pain, she whispered, “I am flawed. I might be crazy. But, I'm a human and I deserve to be loved.” She walked up to Finn. “I want you to love me. Love me.”
She saw fear in Finn's eyes. She lifted a hand and he flinched. Still, she pressed on. “I need to know someone in my existence loves me.”
“I don't know if I can,” he confessed. “Who am I, God?”
Mindy shook her head. Whatever she was looking for was not here. Gathering her belongings, Mindy left Finn's apartment.
The temptation to cut herself was strong, but she resisted. Mindy wandered the streets going over her conversation with Finn. Was there a better way she could have told him?
Naw.
There was no easy way to tell someone you have a mental illness. You had to come out and say it.
Mindy leaned up against a parked vehicle to rub her aching feet.
“Who am I? God?”
She kept hearing that question. She repeated the question aloud many times.
Then in a split second, it clicked. Mindy stilled all movement. She tuned out the honking horns, the cars whizzing by, the child wailing for his mother to pick him up, the couple chattering, and the street drummer.
The stillness surrounded her.
I am God.
Goosebumps rose and it was not because of the cold December air. God. God. He was who she needed. God was her last chance. Mindy held back her cackle. Finn had helped her. With a snap of her fingers, Mindy hailed a cab. She was going to see the only man of God she knew.