The Fallen Woman (A Regency Romance) (33 page)

The dagger was thrust deeper into his chest.

“Please don’t say you’ve changed your mind about me!” There was a hint of panic in her voice. “I want to be with you! I know I’m quiet and I know I’m not perfect, but… I’ve never done anything like this before. I wish you’d tell me what to do…”

“Mary…” It was just one word, but his voice was gravelly and sullen.

“You still want to be with me, don’t you?” Fearful of rejection, Mary started to retreat from his lap, but he grabbed her and held her in place. “I thought… well… I kept worrying about what it would be like to be your mistress, and I kept worrying you’d tire of me someday, but now your silence is giving me all these new worries. I just wish you’d say something!”

Andrew pulled her squarely unto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing her as tightly as he could. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Mary. I don’t want to do this.”

Mary whimpered. Her sadness settled around her heart like ice. She tried to fight her way off his lap, but he was holding her too tightly. “You don’t want me?” she shrieked, shoving his arms away from her, battling to twist herself free of him.

Andrew burrowed his head against her shoulder and sobbed. His reaction, while curious, immediately calmed her fears.

“Andrew, what’s wrong?” She gently caressed his head. “What’s wrong?”

His arms tightened around her. He never wanted to let her go. “I love you!” he shouted. “I love you, Mary. I’m so sorry.”

“You… love me?” she repeated slowly. “But why are you apologizing?”

“Because I’ve been a fool this entire time, unwilling to admit my feelings to myself. I’ve belittled you, and I’ve hurt you, and I’ve acted like a damn fool.”

Mary lifted his head so she could kiss his forehead, and was touched by the sight of tears in his eyes. “Andrew…”

“Oh, how I love you!” he exclaimed. “I can’t even put into words how I feel… how I want to worship every inch of you and keep you close and give you everything in the world. All I want to do is cradle you in my arms and keep you with me forever. You talk about me tiring of you? You’re in more danger of tiring of
me
, because I want to be with you all the time and I can’t stand the thought of losing you!”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Mary pressed herself against him.

“I’m such a terrible man. All my life I’ve been a terrible man… but you bring out the good in me. I don’t ever want to touch another woman for as long as I live!” he went on. “I keep thinking I’m going to be punished for my sins. I keep thinking Tristan’s going to be taken away from me, or you’re going to leave me. I’m so terrified of that.”

“No, never,” she whimpered in his ear.

“Can you forgive me for my foolishness?”

He could feel her nod against him.

“I don’t want you to be my mistress, Mary. I wouldn’t be happy with that.” He paused for a few seconds, waiting for her to release him. When her eyes found his, he said, “I want you to marry me. I want you to be my wife.”

“But I’m a maid. I'm not a lady!”

“No. All I care about is the fact that you’re the woman I love with all my heart and soul. And it’s okay if you don’t love me right now. If you give it time, maybe your feelings will blossom… please don’t reject me. I can’t begin to tell you how desperate I am to hear you tell me you’ll marry me.”

“You’re too late, Andrew.”

His lip quivered. “I… am?”

“These words are coming out of you too late, because I love you already,” she said. “I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“You… did?”

“Although, I’m
sure
I fell out of love with you at some point in the middle of our acquaintance,” Mary said with a chuckle. “But the important thing is, I love you now, and I’ve loved you for a long time. I could never tell you, because I never dreamed you could actually return my feelings.”

“Oh God, I do!” Andrew shouted. “I’m so in love with you, it makes my insides squirm.”

Mary’s nose wrinkled. “That sounds unpleasant!”

“But it’s not. Being in love with you is the greatest feeling in the world!” he professed.

“I suppose that would make being in love with you the second greatest feeling in the world?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

Hearing her comment, he tackled her to the bed and tickled her until she was out of breath. When he was done, he lowered his head and kissed her again. And again. And a third time.

“My dear,” he said, his gaze plunging to her breasts. “I don’t know if I can wait until we’re married, but I’ll try.”

“I haven’t said I’d marry you yet!”

“Of course you’ll marry me! You love me!” Andrew grinned down at her. “Don’t try to trick me into taking you into my bed right now! I’m a gentleman, you know?”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Since when?”

His grin turned into a smile, and his voice fell to a whisper. “Since I fell in love with you.”

Then he kissed her once again.

Chapter Thirty Seven

Three Weeks Later

Leona spent most of the morning without a stitch of clothing. And so did her husband; although, with a blanket pulled to his waist, it hardly seemed fair. She kept trying to tug the blanket down, but he just wrestled her off of him and pinned to her to the bed.

“You’re a wicked girl!” he said with a chuckle. “You’re always trying to get to my man parts.”

“And you’re a wicked man,” she accused him with a smile, grabbing his blanket between two toes in another attempt to pull it off. “If you insist on keeping me naked, it’s only fair that you stay naked, too!”

“I am naked! I just prefer to stay a bit less… perpetually exposed.” When he descended for a kiss, Leona snatched the blanket and tugged it off, once and for all.

“Ha ha!” she cackled.

“Wicked girl.”

“I know.” She let go of the blanket, grabbed both sides of his head, and showered him with kisses.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she kissed him. When she received her mandatory twenty kisses, she rolled onto her stomach with a happy sigh. “I hope every morning is like this,” she said.

“As do I.” Tristan gently poked the side of her stomach. “You’re looking a lot more round, lately.”

“Wicked man!” She turned on her side and gave him a gentle shove. “How cruel of you to bring that to my attention!”

“I’m not trying to be cruel.” His hand floated across the small of her back as he spoke. “I think you’re beautiful like this.”

“You know…” Leona’s thoughts trickled in a different direction. “I still can’t believe Mary and Andrew are going to get married. Two months ago, I never would have predicted it!”

“I predicted it,” Tristan credited himself. “I know it’s surprising, because she was a maid and all, but I’ve never seen him so smitten. And I’ve known him all my life.”

“The fact that he’s marrying a maid isn’t what surprises me. No… it’s the fact that he was humble enough to see past it. I must have misjudged your friend.” Leona touched the wound on Tristan’s shoulder, which had almost healed, but would likely leave a scar. “I love you, Tristan,” she said. “I must never forget to tell you that every single day.”

“And I love you, Lady Randall,” he echoed. “You’re the greatest thing my life has ever offered me.”

Before she could reward his sweet sentiments with another kiss, a knock on the door interrupted their bliss. Tristan threw the blanket on his wife and hopped into a pair of pants. He didn’t look too happy when he answered the door.

“Ah… Dubois.” He tried to paste on a smile when he saw his old French butler. “I haven’t overslept or anything like that. Did you come to wake me?”

“No. You have a veesitor, sir.”

Tristan was tempted to look back to Leona, but he remembered she was naked back there, and he didn’t want to draw attention to her. “A visitor? Who?”

“It is Monsieur Lennox, my lord.”

“Mr. Lennox?! Leona’s father?”

“Oui, my lord. That Monsieur Lennox.”

Tristan was even more tempted to turn to Leona, but he kept his eyes on Dubois. “Riiight, well… tell him I’ll be there in a moment.”

“Of course.” Dubois gave a proper bow and headed down the hall.

When Tristan spun around and closed the door, his eyes were wide with shock. Leona looked even less composed than he did.

“My father?” Leona gasped. “If that message came from anyone other than Dubois, I would have thought they were joking!”

“I know!”

“My
father
?” Leona repeated, her voice squeaking. “I was under the impression I wouldn’t see him again! I thought he’d washed his hands of me!” When she saw Tristan putting on the rest of his clothes, she rose from bed and started to do the same. “I wonder what he wants.”

“Maybe he… misses you?”

“Hardly!” Leona laughed at the thought. “He was so cross with me. You have no idea what he’s like…”

Tristan took his wife by the hand. “We can brave it together.”

“Indeed… you better not leave me!”

Leona checked her appearance in the looking glass, took a deep breath, and followed Tristan out of the room. Her legs were shaking as they headed to meet her father. As they walked, she briefly closed her eyes. She tried to recall his face, but she couldn’t. The time she spent as her father’s daughter seemed a lifetime away.

Tristan pushed open the door to the sitting room, and sure enough, they were greeted by an unmistakable, shiny pate. When he saw them enter, Mr. Lennox rose from his chair.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Lennox,” Tristan was the first to speak. “I hope your journey to Randall Hall wasn’t too eventful?”

Apparently, Mr. Lennox didn’t think it was necessary to answer Tristan’s question, because he turned to Leona and said, “I would like a moment alone with my daughter, if you please.”

Leona let go of Tristan’s hand and stepped forward. She might have let her father bully her in the past, but she wasn’t about to let him get away with it now. “No,” she protested. “Tristan stays. There’s nothing you need to say around me that can’t be said around him.”

One of her father’s thin eyebrows raised, almost all the way to his scalp. “Oh, really? Are you sure about that?”

“I am.”

“Come here, dearest.” Mr. Lennox motioned for Leona to come closer. “I have something I need to… ask you.”

With obvious reluctance, Leona decided to comply. As she stepped toward her father, she looked over her shoulder at Tristan. With her eyes, she begged him not to leave.

Mr. Lennox grabbed his daughter by the arm and pulled her closer. He bent his head to hers and whispered, “Have you done it?”

Leona tried to back away, but her father held her close. “Done what?”

“Have you tricked him yet?”

“No!”

“You haven’t?” her father raised his voice. “How is that possible? You’re too fat! At this point, you wouldn’t even fool a blind man!”

Tristan stepped forward. “Excuse me, sir… I’ll have to ask you not to talk to her like that.”

“She’s my daughter! I’ll talk to her however I want!”

“But his is my house! I’ll not have you talk to my wife like that!”

“Father…” Leona spoke up before their argument could get heated. Deep in her heart, she hoped her father had come with loving intent. She had hoped he’d made the journey for something other than a chance to ridicule her. She should have expected the worst. “I don’t know whether to thank you or to hate you.”

“You’re such an ungrateful girl! You didn’t even do what I asked of you!”

“Are you talking about… fooling Tristan?” Leona asked. “He already knows about that, and let me tell you… there wasn’t any need to trick him. I’ve told him everything about myself, and he’s already forgiven me for it. Tristan is far greater than any man I’ve ever known, and for that, I must thank you. If not for you, Father, I wouldn’t have such a wonderful life.”

With a smirk on his face, Mr. Lennox’s gaze met Tristan’s. “She’s told you everything, and you’ve
forgiven her
? Good God, you’re either a saint or a fool. But honestly, it isn’t as if you have a choice, is it? You’re stuck with her no matter what!”

“Father!”

“And you’re dying, too… does she know about that?” her father asked. “At least you might not be stuck with her for long!”

“Father!” Leona shouted. “This is why I hate you! You don’t care about
anyone’s
feelings but your own!” If she hadn’t been through so much already, her father’s heartlessness might have reduced her to tears. But his words left her feeling surprisingly—empty. She didn’t care what he had to say about her anymore. “I want you to leave!”

“Oh, Leona,” Mr. Lennox scoffed. “You don’t really mean that. I do care about you, you know.”

“No, you don’t!” Leona shouted at him. “I don’t even know why you’re here! I wish you’d leave and never return.”

Her father answered her request with an affronted grunt. He was silent for several seconds, as if waiting for her to change her mind. “Well, if that’s how it is… I see no reason
to
return,” Mr. Lennox started to walk toward the door. “You might have found yourself a husband who accepts the bastard in your belly, but it humiliates me!
You
humiliate me!”