The Falling of Katja: an Erotic Romance (Anam Céile Chronicles) (2 page)

Š
tefan had always been on my mind before, but after
that day in the lake, my musings of him seemed to have taken up permanent
residence there.  It seemed he occupied my every waking thought, as well as
most of my slumbering ones.  Quite frequently my mother or father would find it
necessary to admonish me for not paying attention to my domestic duties, for so
adrift my mind was on him. 

There
became no denying that I was in love with him and I came to realise that I had always
loved him, only I was simply not aware of what love truly was.  Relentlessly, I
dreamt of the day we would wed and grow old and happy together.  I wanted
nothing else in my life than to be his wife and bear his beautiful children.  I
simply could not imagine it any other way.

And
so, there I was, quite impatiently awaiting the day he would ask for my hand.

Meanwhile,
it appeared my mind was intent upon ruminating over every word which had left
his lips in my presence, analyzing every look he had cast my way, obsessing
over his handsome features, his mouthwatering physique…

T
hen one day, everything changed.

It
was the most beautiful summer morning when I happened upon Štefan at the
market.

“Katja!”
he called out upon seeing me.  I turned my head to see him jogging up to me, wearing
that heartbreaking smile upon his face.

“Štefan,”
I greeted him sweetly, a smile sweeping across my face which was entirely
beyond my control as most of my bodily reactions were anytime I was in his
presence.

“I
have something important to discuss with you.  Can you meet me in the meadow
after lunch?”

My
heart beamed. 

Today
is the day!  He shall ask me for my hand!
  

Practically
falling into the depths of his eyes, I nodded my head.  “Yes, Štefan,” I
whispered, the words encompassing so much meaning for me.

He
smiled and brushed his hand across my cheek before turning to go, sending my
heart aflutter as he so easily did.

Elated,
I rushed home and told my sister, Svetlana of the news.  I found my loveliest gown—
one I was certain he had not seen me in before— and she fussed over me,
transforming my flaxen locks into a virtual masterpiece. 

With
butterflies swirling joyously in my belly, I skipped to the meadow where we
routinely met one another. 

In
the distance, I could see Štefan was already waiting there.  My heart
practically leapt from my chest as though in attempt to reach him before I did.

Yet
when I drew close enough to clearly make out his face, something unexplainable
unsettled me.  Perhaps it was the diffident expression he wore.  My excitement
quickly changed to bewilderment as I neared him.  He met me at the gate,
holding his hands out to me, a remorseful look in his eyes which I had never
seen before. 

His
hands were trembling when he took mine within his.  In that moment, I tried
desperately to convince myself that he was only nervous about the proposal.  Yet
as I continued to study his face, I knew that would be a lie. 

The
butterflies all collided and twisted into a snarled mass within my belly. 

This
was
not
to be the joyous moment I had anticipated.

 Finally,
Štefan cleared his throat to speak.  His voice was shaky, alerting me even
further as to the direness of the situation before me.  “Katja, you look
absolutely divine!  Thank you for coming to see me.”

Unable
to speak, I nodded my head.  Any other time, even the slightest compliment
coming from him would have propelled me to heaven.  But this time it felt only
as a buffer to something unpleasant.  Something which I could not fathom.

He
turned his eyes down and dragged in a coarse breath.  “What I must tell you is
not pleasant,” he said, as if he actually thought I needed preparation, that I
had not perceived something was looming.  

I
held my stoic expression, just wanting whatever he had to reveal to be out in
the open already so I could be released from this awful frozen anticipation.

Štefan
swallowed and continued to speak once more.  “Just last night I was informed
that my father has arranged for my marriage.”

Marriage? 

He
cannot mean with me.  Otherwise, it would not have come out like this.

After
what seemed like forever, I managed to utter the word. 

“Whom?” 

That
solitary word seemed to expend so much effort from my lungs to force out.

From
the look in his eyes, it was clear he felt the impact this was having upon me. 

At
last, he answered my question, his tone quiet.  “Na
ď
ia, the eldest daughter of the family Császár.”

A
name being attached to this tragedy caused it to hit me even harder in the
chest. 

Császár.
 Of course.  A girl of far more suitable lineage than I can offer. 

For
the first time ever in my life, I wished I was not the daughter of simple folk. 
How could that one mere fact rob me of all the happiness I had dreamt of?

I
was completely blind sighted by this information.  This was not the joyous
occasion I had so fondly anticipated. 

Then
as if to twist the knife already embedded within my chest, he continued to
devastate me.  Choking on his words, Štefan stroked my hand and told me, “Katja,
I am sorry to have to tell you that I will not be able to continue associating
with you.”

I
just gaped at him.  Reading the confusion upon my face, he repeated his words,
driving me over the edge.  “Katja, this is the last time we will ever see each
other.”  His eyes continued to search my face for some sign of understanding,
acceptance perhaps. 

Such
a thing was impossible!  He had just shattered my world and he wanted me to
take it gracefully?

I
shook my head furiously in disbelief until, at last, the tears began to flow
forth.    My chest clinched tight about my rupturing heart, allowing not a word
from me.  I opened my mouth to speak, yet nothing came out save for a broken sob.

I pulled
my hands from his and tried to run away, though in my distress— not to mention
my elabourately layered gown— I stumbled and fell down.  Štefan ran after me
and sank to the ground where I lay weeping.  Wrapping his arms about me, he held
me as I wept for him… for the ‘us’ that would never be. 

I do
not know if being buried in his arms made it better or worse. 

Finally,
he lifted my chin to look upon me and wipe the tears from my face.  “You are so
beautiful, Katja,” he told me.  “You deserve to find someone to make you
happy.” 

He
certainly was not making this any easier on me.  I
had
found the one who
made me happy!  Why could he not understand that?  My mind was racing.  I
wanted to beg him to run away with me, so we could be together as we were meant
to. 

But,
should he not have been the one to offer such things? 

Clearly,
I did not mean as much to him as he had to me all those years.

I
pushed back my thoughts to seize the opportunity to take in his face this what
would be my last time.  His eyes were deeper than ever I had seen them, and in
that moment I just wanted to fall into them and stay there forever.

Gazing
back deeply into mine, Štefan’s leaned into me and I felt the warmth of his
breath against my face just a second before his lips met mine.  Here was the
moment I had fantasized about incessantly since our first and last teasing
kiss, and instead of exhilarating it was heartbreaking. 

At
first, his kiss was tender, apologetic, as he endeavoured to inspire me to
return it as though that would equate forgiveness.  When my lips finally began
to move against his, his mouth became more possessive, though he had already
made it clear he had no intention of actually possessing me.  Still, I allowed
myself to pretend.  Pretend that day had gone differently, as I had originally
hoped, and that kiss held a different meaning entirely, one of celebration and
happiness rather than one filled with farewells and sorrow.

“Katja,”
he murmured into my mouth.

For
the first time ever, Štefan allowed his hands to roam over my body, touching me
in ways that I had always dreamt of as his hands sneaked beneath my garments. 
Laying me back in the grass, his mouth kissed its way down my neck until I felt
his breath blowing over my cleavage.  He only loosened my bodice enough to
release my breasts from their confines.  Without hesitation, his mouth covered
them, drawing in the sensitive flesh at the centre.  The intense sensation of
it went straight to the area between my legs, alighting it on fire. 

As
he suckled me, his hand began to rustle through the fabric of my skirt, until
he had flipped it up to expose my legs.  He surprised me by making quick work
of pulling down my pantalets, so that my sex was bared to him.  While moving
his mouth to my other breast and leaving my abandoned nipple to stiffen in the
breeze, I drew my breath in sharply as I felt his fingers brush over the highly
sensitive flesh between my legs.

Working
me over as that, Štefan soon had me panting, moving his fingers in circular
rhythm over my sex while his mouth attended to my breasts.  The heat was
coursing through my body as my desire soared to ever greater heights.  My
panting fast becoming breathless, I whimpered as he detached his mouth from my
nipple. 

Štefan
slithered down my body, impelling my legs to part and settled between my knees
before lowering himself between my thighs.  A bit baffled, I wondered what it was
he intended on doing.  He did not make me wonder long, for a second later he leaned
in closer, bringing his face to my sex and with merely the feel of his hot
breath upon it, he had me moaning with pleasure.

I felt
his lips softly grazing over my most tender flesh, slowly exploring my, until
now, untouched area.  I lifted my head to glance down at him and could hardly
believe what I was witnessing.  This gorgeous man that I had loved, waited for,
all those years, was nestled down between my thighs with his tongue buried in
my sex! 

The
sight of that alone sent sensational shivers up through my body.

His
blazing eyes met mine and suddenly I was overcome with a feeling of shyness at
the position I was in.  Though I certainly could not fathom stopping him!  Still
gazing into my eyes, he slowly swept his tongue over me.  I groaned and let my
head fall back in the grass, relishing this gift he was offering me.

I
cannot believe I am allowing a man to do this to me!  Have I no shame?  But
then, he is not just any man.  He is my Štefan.  The man I have loved all my
life.  The only man I have ever loved… the only man I will ever love.

The
way his tongue lavished my flesh felt so splendid I was helpless to do anything
but lay back and moan in pleasure.  I felt it sweep over every part of my sex,
slowly licking and sucking at my flesh, circling over the swelling pearl at the
top, the heat of lust mounting so within my core until I felt it would burst
forth.  I realised I was writhing about upon the ground as a mad woman beneath
him, yet even had I wanted to, I would have been utterly powerless to stop it. 
I was in awe of what he was doing to me, how he was making me feel.

How
on earth does he know how to do such a thing?

“Oh,
Štefan,” I murmured, my voice grainy with the lust which was rapidly
threatening to consume me.

And
then, seemingly all at once I was overcome by it.  The ache of my core was
exploding into a million fragments sending slivers of ecstasy to every corner
of my body.  My writhing became thrashing as I screamed out against my own
volition, my voice ragged.

“Oh,
Štefan!  Yes, yes, Oh God, YES!”

I
nearly panicked when I felt his mouth vacate my sex.  But then, I sensed him
move to hover over me and I heard the rattling of something and realised he was
loosening the fastenings of his pants. 

And
I was not so naïve that I did not know what
that
meant.

Oh
God!  Is this really happening?  Can I let this happen?  Oh, I do not know.  Yet
is this not what I have always wanted?  Is he not what I have always wanted. 
This may well be my very last chance to have him…

And
then, he lowered himself to me and I rejoiced in the masculine feel of his
weight upon me for the first time.  His gorgeous eyes locked onto mine for just
a second just before his lips followed suit, claiming my mouth once more.  As
he kissed me, I felt the heat of his erection brushing my inner thigh as it
moved upwards in a seeking motion.  I waited for him to take me, and yet he did
not. 

What
is he waiting for?

Finally,
unable to stand it any longer, I whisper breathlessly into his ear, “Take me, Štefan.
 Have me.  Make me yours!”

Emitting
a responding grunt, his hand moved down between my legs to align his rod with
my entrance, so that I felt the soft burgeoning crown of it pressing against
me.  “Yes,” I murmur to him reassuringly when still I sense his hesitation.