The Fashion Hound Murders (24 page)

“Oh, I’ve heard that lecture often enough,” Chris said. “Nice to meet you, Josie. And hang on to Ted if you can. He’s a keeper.”

“Can I call you to check on him?”

“Anytime,” Chris said.

It was pitch-black when Josie left the clinic, and cold enough that she could see her breath. There won’t be any snakes out tonight, she thought as she started her car. Ted’s vintage tangerine Mustang was parked forlornly in a corner. On the short trip home, she tried to think of an excuse to mollify her mother.
Sorry, Mom, but the cat’s vet fixed us dinner and then the police had a warrant to search his clinic. . . .

“Police” and “warrant” were not a good combination, Josie decided. When Jane finds out Ted is a murder suspect, she’ll go ballistic. There’s no point in pretending I’m not romantically interested in him. Maybe if I . . .

Maybe if I grew a backbone, I could tell my mother I’m dating Ted and if she doesn’t like that, tough toenails. The sudden, defiant surge of anger felt good.

Josie parked the car in front of her home and slammed the door hard. If her mother was asleep, Jane would be awake now. The lights were on in the living room. Josie marched up the front walk, prepared to do battle.

Jane met her at the door and used a tone Josie hadn’t heard since she was sixteen. “Josie Marcus, it’s almost midnight. Your few minutes turned into nearly four hours. What are you doing going out with a man who’s mixed up in a murder?”

“How did you know about the murder?” Josie asked.

“It’s all over the news. He’s been arrested by the Wildfern police. Your daughter was crying. I don’t know why you can’t go out with a nice man like Stan.”

“Because he’s dull, Mom. Stan is so dull he makes my teeth ache. If you like him so much, you date him. Mentally, you’re both the same age—sixty-eight.”

Jane looked like she’d been slapped. Josie instantly felt guilty. Her mother seemed wrinkled and tired. Her hair was mashed flat on one side, probably from napping on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” Josie tried a more conciliatory tone. “I know you think Stan is good son-in-law material, but I can’t force love if it isn’t there. Stan’s a good man—for some other woman. And he’s found her. He loves Abby, not me. GBH. Please?”

Josie held out her arms. Jane refused to move. Her jaw was locked in that stubborn bulldog position.

“Come on, Mom, it’s a family rule. If I ask for a Great Big Hug, you have to give me one.” She wrapped her arms around Jane. Her mother was rigid and unyielding, but she let Josie hug her.

“I’m only trying to do what’s best for you,” Jane said between sniffles.

“I know you are, Mom. But Ted is the best man for me right now. Stan has already found the woman he deserves.”

“But he’s so handsome.” Jane sniffed back a tear.

“He is nice looking,” Josie said. “If I had any sense, I’d have fallen for him. But I didn’t.”

“Okay,” Jane said. “But I still think you’re making a mistake.”

“I made a mistake with Nate, but we gave you a beautiful granddaughter, didn’t we?”

“Yes, you did, Josie. And I hope you’re not calling my granddaughter a mistake.”

“No, Mom, the mistake was all mine.”

“Well, you’ve done a good job of bringing her up. Amelia did all the dishes by herself tonight. She likes Ted. I hope that’s a good sign. Harry means a lot to her. I finally met the cat.”

“How did you and the beast get along?”

“He’s quite nice—for a cat.” That was a huge admission from Jane.

“Thanks, Mom,” Josie said. “I really appreciate your watching Amelia. But I’d better get some sleep if I’m going to drive her to school on time.” She gave her mother one last kiss on top of her head and gently guided her to the back steps.

It was midnight. Josie had had enough crises for one day.

Chapter 29

Harry prowled the kitchen like a tiny tiger while Amelia ate her breakfast.

“Look, Mom. Isn’t he cute?” she said, between bites of toast.

“The cutest,” Josie said. Two-word sentences were all she could manage this morning. She was seriously sleep deprived and coffee starved. So far, she’d given her daughter dual-word commands: “Get up.” “Get dressed.” “Eat breakfast.” But not all six words at once. That would have been too difficult.

Josie took her first sip of hot coffee and felt the neurons start firing. One more jolt, and she’d be almost up to speed.

She watched the small striped cat pace. By the third sip, she started making dog noises—a series of soft woofs and whines. Josie thought she sounded realistic. So did Harry. His mobile ears rotated, and he began looking under the kitchen table and behind the fridge.

“Mom! Stop that. You’re confusing him,” Amelia said.

“Since I can’t torment the cat, let’s head for school,” Josie said. A whole ten words at once. She was ready to face the day.

All the way to Barrington, Josie listened to her daughter praise Harry. She was in love with her cat and found something new to admire each day. “Harry looks like a plain dark brown cat with black stripes, Mom, but he’s got lots of colors. His stomach fur is yellow-brown with stripes, his vest is white, the insides of his ears are pale beige, his eyes are green, and his nose is red.”

“Like a little rubber eraser,” Josie said.

She could tell by Amelia’s silence this was not proper appreciation. “I mean that in a cute way,” Josie added, and wished for more coffee.

Harry’s praises ended only in the Barrington School driveway. Before Josie could leave, her cell rang, and she pulled over. It was Harry the human. Well, semihuman.

“Josie,” her awful boss said.
Crunch. Slurp
. “Did you mystery-shop that third dog boutique?”

“The Upper Pup?” Josie asked, stalling for time.

“Yeah.”
Crunch. Chomp.
“I need your report today.”

“I’m shopping it this morning. It opens at ten,” Josie said. She’d forgotten all about the store. She’d had too much crammed into the last few days.

“I need the report by three o’clock,” Harry said. There was a massive crunch, like tree limbs breaking in an ice storm.

“Harry, what are you eating? It sounds interesting.”

“Chicken-fried bacon,” he said. “Very big in Texas. The new chef at the diner down the street makes it. He serves it with cream gravy, but that’s too fattening.”

“Right. Much healthier without it.”

Harry crunched good-bye and hung up.

Chicken-fried bacon. Bet that delicacy was endorsed by the heart association, Josie thought. Maybe if Harry kept eating lard-loaded food, his arteries would blow like a birthday balloon, and she’d get a new boss. Anyone would be better than Harry.

Josie wondered if Alyce could go mystery-shopping with her today. She speed-dialed her friend.

“I’d love to go,” Alyce said. “Justin can torment the nanny at home.” She lowered her voice. “Would you mind if Traci and Snowball went with us?”

“Is she there again?” Josie knew she had no business asking.

“Yes. She’s upset about the news of Dr. Ted’s arrest. She came over this morning. We’re talking about our babies.”

“Oh? Did she have a difficult labor?” Josie asked.

“Is something wrong?” Alyce asked.

Yes, Josie wanted to say. Comparing a puppy to a toddler makes me feel queasy. But she knew she’d sound jealous.

“No, just tired,” Josie said. “Traci and her dog will be good cover for mystery shopping. You can all meet me in the parking lot at the Clayton Road store at ten o’clock.”

Traci was unfolding the doggy stroller from Alyce’s SUV when Josie arrived at the Upper Pup boutique. Alyce wore a dark blue winter coat that made her pale skin glow.

Traci and Snowball wore matching Black Watch plaid coats. Traci had a plaid tam and Snowball had a plaid bow. Snowball yapped a greeting. So did Traci. “I can’t believe you’re letting me mystery-shop with you. I feel like James Bond.”

“Sh,” Josie warned. “Our mission is a secret.”

“Can I buy something for Snowball?” she asked.

“As much as you want. It will make us look like regular shoppers,” Josie said.

Shopping with Traci was sort of like going to a store with Amelia, except Josie’s daughter would have been more subdued.

When Traci rolled Snowball into the store, Kate, the saleswoman, said, “Oh, you look so cute with your baby.”

Kate listened to the dog’s rescue saga. “You’re so brave to adopt her,” she cooed.

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all,” Traci said. “She’s so sweet. But we girls are looking for new clothes.”

“I can help you with that,” Kate said. “Let me show you the clothes racks, then see to these ladies.” She turned to Josie. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

The saleswoman was soon back at Josie’s side. “Sorry for the wait. How may I help you?”

“I’d like to look at your accessories,” Josie said.

“Anything in particular? We have a whole jewelry case of dog charms, barrettes, and collar pendants.” Kate had passed two mystery-shopper tests—she’d greeted the customers and offered to show the accessories.

In the background, Josie could hear Traci yelping, “Isn’t this cute? . . . Oh, I love this! . . . Snowball, this Santa suit is adorable!”

Josie was losing patience with a grown woman who squealed. You’re jealous, she told herself. Alyce has always been your best friend. Now you’re acting like a spoiled high schooler. Traci is good-hearted and she’s trying to help a pup who had a bad start. Josie mentally repeated Alyce’s injunction not to be judgmental. She’d declawed Harry, after all. For a couch.

“I’d like a pearl tiara for my Chihuahua,” Josie said. She couldn’t believe those words came out of her mouth. At least she was paid to say them.

“We have a Parisian tiara for your little princess.” Kate opened the jewelry showcase and removed a bauble suitable for Marie Antoinette. “Look how that pearl hangs in the center rhinestone arch.”

“Precious,” Josie said.

Alyce raised one eyebrow. Josie wondered if she was overdoing her fake enthusiasm.

“And it’s only seven ninety-nine,” Kate said.

“I’ll take it,” Josie said.

Kate wrapped the tiara while Josie and Alyce watched Traci pile her selections on the counter: four doggy dresses, a rhinestone sweater, a Santa suit, three scarves, two sets of boots, four hair bows, and a crystal collar charm. Josie mentally added up the prices. Traci’s shopping spree cost more than Amelia’s school wardrobe.

“Well, I can see you and Snowball have done well without me,” Kate said. “May I show you a collar and leash set?”

“I guess so,” Traci said. “Poor Snowball spent her little puppy life crammed in a cage and she’s not used to walking on floors. But my vet says I should try to leash train her.”

Soon Traci added four leashes, including an “evening” leash trimmed in pearls and rhinestones. She put Snowball on the counter next to the pile. “Look at that! The stack of clothes is taller than Snowball.” The fluffy white dog yapped and wagged her tail.

Josie gave an insincere smile and tried not to sulk.

Kate rang up the purchases and put them in a paw-print shopping bag. As Traci rolled the dog stroller out to the lot, she asked Josie, “How’d I do?”

“Nice job, Mrs. Bond,” Josie said.

“Would you like to stop for lunch?” Alyce asked. “My neighbor Joanie Protzel has a deli nearby. They make their own corned beef.”

“I’ve been dying for a good deli since I left Miami,” Traci said.

Joanie Protzel, a small, brown-haired woman, met them at the door. “I’m sorry,” she said. “No puppies are allowed in the store.”

So much for your baby, Josie thought meanly. The board of health doesn’t let in fur kids with fleas.

“Then we’ll go somewhere else,” Alyce said.

“No, no,” Joanie said. “I’ll babysit the puppy while you eat lunch. I’ll feed her myself. I have some beautiful turkey. You can sit inside by the window and watch me. It’s a sunny day. Your baby won’t get cold.”

Alyce said, “What do you think, Traci?”

Joanie added, “It’s all white meat, and I’ll throw in a bit of beef, too. Pups love my food. One has his own account here.”

“Well, Snowball is supposed to get used to strangers,” Traci said. “Dr. Ted says it’s part of the socialization process. And I’ll be right where I can see her while Joanie babysits her.”

Inside, the three women were served homemade corned beef stacked high on light rye, crunchy pickles, and Dr. Brown’s cream sodas. Traci watched Joanie feed Snowball turkey scraps. The little dog barked when Joanie stopped.

“Look,” Traci said. “She’s asking for more.”

Joanie asked the waitress to bring a bowl of water for Snowball, but never left the dog’s side.

Traci picked at her food as she watched her pup. Josie and Alyce went through their sandwiches as if corned beef would become illegal by sundown.

They stopped for serious conversation when their brownies and coffee arrived.

“I can’t believe Dr. Ted was arrested for killing that awful Deerford man,” Traci said. “He didn’t murder him. I know he didn’t.”

“Of course he didn’t,” Josie said.

“So who did?” Alyce asked.

“I guess the real question is who had a coral snake,” Josie said. “Those snakes aren’t found in Missouri.”

“They live in Florida, don’t they?” Traci asked. “That’s what the TV said.”

“Do you think one crawled into your packing boxes and you brought it with you?” Josie asked.

“Ew, no,” Traci said. “We didn’t live in the Everglades. We lived in a condo in Miami.”

“I meant maybe it got into the moving van by accident,” Josie said. “I saw this news story where a neighbor’s cat stowed away in a chest of drawers in a moving van, and it wasn’t discovered for a thousand miles.”

Traci’s eye widened. “So you’re saying a rare poisonous coral snake just happened to crawl into my moving van in the middle of a busy city and wound up in my garage?”

“It’s possible,” Josie said.

“Then what?” Traci asked. “Dr. Ted rescued it and said, ‘Oh, look. A poisonous snake. Think I’ll kill Jonah.’ ”

“Well, that part doesn’t fit,” Josie said. “Maybe there was more than one snake and . . .”

Alyce glared at her. “And what, Josie?”