‘Of course I would. I know I work too hard but I’m here with you now, aren’t I? I’m listening.’ She was scurrying beside his striding figure, laughing up at him, despite her scolding words. When still he did not respond, she dragged him to a halt. ‘Very well then, Dan Howarth, if you won’t say it, I will. The fact is, I love you, you great soft lump. There, that wasn’t so painful, was it?
I - love - you!
I adore you, in fact. I rather hoped that you might feel the same. Happy Christmas,’ And she flung her arms about his neck and kissed him; a full and loving kiss. His mouth instinctively responded, moving swift and hard against hers, his arms coming around her as he almost crushed her in his arms, so intense was the emotion between them.
When he released her sufficiently to allow her to breathe again, she lay her cheek against his broad chest and sighed happily. ‘Do I take that kiss as confirmation of that whispered proposal yesterday? It does mean what I think it means, doesn’t it?’
His response was a long time in coming. Too long. ‘Aye,’ he said at last. ‘I meant it right enough but everything’s changed now.’
‘Why? I still love you. You still love me. What can possibly have changed?’
All the light seemed to have faded from his face and his expression was stony. ‘Just tell me that you don’t intend to keep it.’
‘I don’t understand. Keep what?’
‘I’d just like to know that you mean to find who it properly belongs to.’
‘The baby … is that what this is all about?’ Bella stared at him in disbelief. Could the arrival of one small baby make such a difference to his mood? Surely not, though she could think of no other reason. ‘Heavens, you’re surely not jealous?’ She began to laugh but as his face tightened with displeasure she stopped at once, for it was all too clear that Dan did not share her amusement. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve already said that’s what I intend to do.’
Then he held her from him, looking deeply into her eyes. ‘There’s nothing I want more than for us to be wed but I want things to be right for us, that’s all, Bella. I don’t want us to be scratting about for every penny. I want us to be happy.’
‘Oh, we will be. We will be
very
happy.’ And then he was kissing her again and everything was good between them, just as it should be, and would continue to be, Bella was sure of it.
Bella was not unduly concerned over Dan’s strange mood. She knew him for a prickly character at the best of times, loving, caring, steady, always there when she needed him and with the promise of something wonderful developing between them, but not an easy man to know.
The warm glow of excitement which the prospect of married life with Dan had lit in her was tempered somewhat by his innate caution. But then you could never accuse him of being impulsive. Every decision was always carefully considered, measured and judged by its possible consequence. His one aim in life was to feel safe and secure, to be sure that he knew where the next meal was coming from, whereas Bella was usually one to jump in with both feet and worry about the possible outcome later.
Unlike her own sheltered life, Dan Haworth had needed to work hard for his. Of course he wanted to provide well for her, for the sake of his pride and because security was desperately important to him. And was it any wonder? Life, for the Howarth family had never been easy, and it was hard for them just now with Mr Howarth unwell and so many children still living at home. But it would surely get better now that the family were growing up. Ernest had already left, he and his new wife and baby having gone to live with his in-laws. Soon, the little house would begin to empty as they each in turn went off to marry, or to make their own lives in the greater world. Georgie was already talking of going into the navy, and Kate was seriously walking out with her young man. Dan would then be largely free of his share of the responsibility to his family, and able to start one of his own. Though she was sure the entire brood would continue to give a helping hand to their loving parents when needed.
Bella’s thoughts moved on to the problem of the abandoned baby. Dan was entirely right in that she really must make every effort to find the mother. And if she didn’t succeed? Much as it broke Bella’s heart to think of Holly being so casually left on a doorstep, was she the right person to take on the care of an orphaned baby? In her present circumstances, could she even afford the luxury?
She lay awake much of the night worrying over the matter and by the next morning, had quite made up her mind to take the child at once to the Board of Guardians. By the time she’d bathed, fed and changed her, and of course played with her on the rug, her resolution had begun to fade. The bright blue eyes, so wide and alert and surely displaying a sharp intelligence; the sweet baby scent of her now that she was dressed in warm, clean clothes, the translucence of her eyelids, the miracle of each tiny finger and perfectly formed toe nail was a joy to behold. In no time it seemed, the morning was gone and it was almost dinner time. Perhaps the visit to the Board of Guardians could wait a little while. Tilly was the greater priority.
Bella tucked the child warmly into the bassinet, leant to her by Violet, and bowled happily along Liverpool street in the direction of the workhouse on Eccles New Road. Dinner time should be a good time to catch Tilly if she was a regular visitor to the soup kitchen. Bella’s intention was to hand over the envelope of money which constituted the maid’s Christmas Box from Father, then make a start on her usual home visits, calling in at the Guardian office on the way. There was nothing to be lost through a little delay.
It was as she turned the corner of Hodge Lane that a hand grasped her by the elbow and a familiar grating voice hissed in her ear. ‘Were ye hurrying away from me, my lovely?’ Bella heard herself cry out in dismay, heart racing, as she realised she’d been right all along. Billy Quinn was following her.
She managed to wrench herself free and swung away from him, her voice, when she found it, coldly furious. ‘Don’t you dare creep up on me like that.’ Bella half expected him to ask after the baby but he in fact ignored its presence completely, just as if she wasn’t hanging on to the handle of the bassinet like a protective weapon wedged between them.
He apologised for having neglected her recently and while Bella was still reeling from that bit of effrontery, blithely informed her that he’d had a stroke of good fortune, winning a substantial sum on the horses over Christmas. ‘I’ve bought meself a fine house in Weaste, not quite the Polygon but I’m on me way. I’m going up in the world, so I am. I reckon ye can have no further objection to me now. Aren’t I a man of substance at last, fit to be considered acceptable even by the Miss High-and-Mighty-Ashton.
Bella looked at him askance, eyebrows disappearing beneath the tumble of hair across her brow. ‘The fact that I have not behaved in the least bit ‘high and mighty’ towards you, is nearer to the truth, as well as ample evidence of my folly. It might have been better if I had been more, shall we say, circumspect.’
‘And haven’t we swallowed the big dictionary today.’ Re-establishing his hold upon her arm he gave her a little shove to get her moving, starting to lead her back the way she had come. Bella tried to protest but it was impossible to shake off the punishing grip. Hindered as she was by the bassinet, she could do nothing but comply, though glancing desperately about, wishing for Dan to somehow spirit himself out of the cobbled setts over which they clattered. Sadly, Bella knew he would be back at work today, the holiday over; that he might not even call in on her this evening, since she’d refused, point blank, to hand over baby Holly to the Board of Guardians. Wherever it was Billy Quinn was taking her, she had no option but to go.
‘So I think it would be best if ye did as I told ye to. Haven’t I made it clear how good we are together? Tis long past time that ye stopped fighting me, girl, and gave in to the inevitable. Why don’t ye admit that you and me, we’re made for each other, so we are.’ He’d taken her no further than his favourite stinking back entry so they could speak in some degree of privacy, chasing off a gang of nosy kids and pushing her up against a reeking pile of rubbish.
t was only then that he glanced down at the baby, put out a hand and stroked her cheek. Bella wanted to scream at him not to touch her but suddenly felt too afraid. She watched helplessly as he picked Holly up out of the bassinet and dangled her awkwardly in his long, pale hands. Bella was terrified that he might drop her. ‘Put her down, Quinn. She’s just a baby. Put her back in the pram.’
‘And isn’t she a fine little colleen. Tis a girl, is it then? I’d not object to ye bringing her to live with us. Couldn’t ye give me a son next time.’
‘Live with you? What the hell are you talking about?’ He stood squarely before her, legs apart, one hand holding the child as if she were a rabbit, the other hand at his waist, thumb hooked in the leather belt, eyes narrowed but seeming to pin her down where she half lay against the heap of rubbish. Yet still Bella fought him, with every ounce of courage she possessed. ‘And how can there be a
next time
, when there hasn’t been a first? For heaven’s sake, Holly isn’t your child. You and I never…we never...’
‘And who would know that we didn’t? Tis your word against mine.’
Bella felt all the blood drain from her face. His threatening stance, her fears for the baby and the stench from the rotting vegetables at her back almost made her faint. It was sheer will power alone that kept her conscious. Holly gave a little whimpering protest at the discomfort she was experiencing and, in spite of Bella’s fear, or perhaps because of it, she staggered to her feet and snatched the baby from him. She held the now sobbing infant against her shoulder, patting, smoothing and hushing her as best she could. As the baby’s hiccuping sobs quietened, she heard his soft laugh.
‘Sure and I’d need to get in a bit of practice at fatherhood, would I not? For now you’d best go home, pack yer things and I’ll be round to collect them, yerself and the babby later this evening. We’ll get someone to sit with the child while I take ye out this evening, to celebrate our reconciliation. How would that be?’
‘Over my dead body!’ Bella responded.
‘That could be arranged,’ came his soft reply. ‘If ye insisted, though I doubt ye’d care for it in reality.’
Bella simply glared her defiance at him, then quietly slid the baby back into the bassinet, tucking the soft blankets up to her chin. Holly snuffled with contentment, blue eyes gazing adoringly up at her new mother. Bella jiggled the handle and told Quinn that she was indeed going home now, that if he ever bothered her again, she’d call the police. Quinn simply laughed, as if she had made some sort of joke.
‘I’m not done with you yet, my lovely. Pin back yer ears and listen well.’ He began then, in his softly menacing style, to fill her in on the facts of life. ‘Ye’ll do as I say and move in with me this very night, otherwise I’ll be forced to let the papers know how the philanthropic Miss Isabella Ashton, founder of the marvellous Mothers’ Clinic, has taken a lover and given birth to an illegitimate child. Now wouldn’t they be fascinated to learn such an interesting little gem? They’d start asking all sorts of awkward questions and there’d be plenty of folk who’d be only too happy to add to the gossip and say how we were often seen together in the Hare and Hounds, at the wrestling and so on. T’would be a pity, would it not, if this grand clinic had to close because of its founder’s immoral behaviour.’
Bella was staring at him in open horror, bemused and weak with fear at what she was hearing. Eventually she found her voice for all there was a tremor in it. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows I found her on my doorstep. We’ve all been trying to find Holly’s mother. Besides, my friends aren’t stupid, they know whether a woman has shown signs of carrying a child or not.’
A quick frown of doubt puckered his brow and Bella gained some grim satisfaction at having thrown him somewhat, at seeing that he hadn’t quite thought his plan through. But then his face cleared and he laughed, a harsh grating sound that cut through her complacency. ‘Even if the child isn’t ours, there’s still evidence of intimacy between us, and there’s always the question of improper use of clinic property.’
Bella gasped. ‘Clinic property? If you mean what I think you mean, you know damn’ well that isn’t true. I’ll admit I behaved like a fool but I refused you, and I refused to use anything from the clinic to satisfy your demands. It’s a complete lie to say otherwise!’
‘And who’s to know that but you and me?’