Bella was saying, ‘You’d take Quinn’s word against mine?’
‘I’m not saying that, only why would he want to go on hurting you in this way, unless he felt he had the right? It doesn’t make sense. What would he get out of telling a lie?’
‘You only think in this way because you never would tell a lie, you would always play fair. Quinn never does. He enjoys inflicting hurt , doing as much damage as he can.’ For a second, Bella thought that she’d won through as Dan seemed to seriously consider this point, his eyes desperate with appeal, quietly begging her to convince him.
‘So you never. .?’
‘No, we never did anything like that.’
‘But he kissed you.’
‘Y-yes, he kissed me.’
Dan’s mouth tightened ominously. ‘And what else?’
‘For God’s sake. . .’ Bella got up off the bench, strode away from him, walked back, sat down, clasped her hands in her lap, attempting to be calm. ‘Look , where is the point in going over what I did or didn’t do. It’s over. Finished. It meant nothing.’
‘How can you say so? Women aren’t like that. Not decent ones anyroad. Happen no man means owt to you, except as a bit of fun. Do you really love
me
, that’s the question? Do you care a jot what I think or feel? ‘
Bella stared at him askance. ‘Of course I do. I love you.’
‘Happen you do, and happen you care only for yourself. Mebbe I was right all along. There’s too much of a difference between us and happen you only bothered with me in the first place, and with Quinn, because you like to tease a chap, to enjoy a bit of rough. Mebbe you just like having a bit of fun. Life isn’t serious to you, is it? You need a challenge, a campaign to fight for and win, to prove you can do it. That you’re as good as any man.’
‘Oh, Dan. That’s a cruel thing to say and absolutely untrue.’
They’d talked for half the day in a desperate need to reach an agreement. Now they sat in pained silence for long moments watching the sun slide swiftly down the sky, hoping and praying for something, anything, to bring them together again yet failing to find it. Now they seemed further apart than ever.
Bella spent a long and lonely night weeping for what-might-have-been. She couldn’t believe that Dan would choose to believe the rumours rather than her. But then she realised it was more than that. Dan was jealous, had all along resented the idea of her seeing Billy Quinn. Hadn’t he trailed and tracked her constantly after that first meeting, as if appointing himself her guardian angel. In the end, of course, she’d come to love knowing that he was never far away. Now he was out of her life completely.
By the first light of dawn she’d given up all hope of sleeping and sat wrapped in her shawl by the bedroom window, looking out over the broken stone walls and back yard gates, thinking of Dan and their lovely times together, the kites on Dawney’s Hill, the fishing trips, the kisses.
They’d had their difficulties, it was true, their backgrounds being so different. Yet they’d been in the process of overcoming all of that. Their love had been far more important than any social differences between them. Oh, but she couldn’t imagine life without him. How would she manage? Even the day ahead seemed grey and colourless without the prospect of seeing him this evening.
At breakfast, Tilly remarked on her pale, drawn face, asking if she was sickening for something. Bella said she’d simply slept badly. In the cold light of a new day, she’d convinced herself that Dan would have suffered a change of heart. He surely needed her as much as she needed him. She’d call and see him later in the day perhaps.
Cheered by the thought, Bella helped feed all the lovely babies, laughing at their antics, kissing and cuddling them far too long so that she had to run to get to clinic on time.
As if to add insult to injury, Dr Lisle was standing in Mrs Heap’s cook shop when she arrived, quite out of breath and rather flustered. He refused to wait any longer and followed her upstairs, hovering about as she unlocked doors and cupboards. He cleared his throat, insisting she sit down and listen to what he had to say. Bella was in the process of explaining how very busy she was when they were interrupted by Dr Syd who swirled in, took in the little scene at a glance and made herself scarce behind the screen.
In suitably hushed tones, since Bella refused point blank to find a more private place, he very seriously and courteously informed her that he could no longer consider her as a possible wife. Utterly flabbergasted, Bella simply gaped at him. It took several seconds but eventually she managed to find her voice.
‘I wasn’t under the impression that I still was - being considered, I mean. Following that disastrous episode in the Picture House.’
‘I am aware that I have neglected you somewhat recently,’ he admitted, clearly choosing not to comment on that unfortunate matter. ‘But my offer has never been withdrawn, you understand. I was simply waiting for the right moment to pursue it. However, in the light of this new information which has now come to my attention I fear that you and I, Miss Isabella, would not suit. Would not suit at all.’
‘I’m most rel ... er, sorry to hear you say so. But I can understand your reservations.’ She picked up a stack of papers, hoping he would take the hint and depart. Dr Lisle stepped closer and the powerful aroma of fish almost overwhelmed her.
‘Indeed, I have most severe reservations, my dear. I was prepared to overlook the little difficulty of the clinic as a passing fancy but I fear your morals are somewhat lower than even I had bargained for.’
For once Bella made no attempt to defend herself. She simply smiled sadly and shook her head in despair at her own scandalous behaviour.
‘Of course, if you were to repent and seek forgiveness then, in time, I might reconsider. There could still be hope for us.’
‘No, no, I fear I am quite beyond redemption. I do believe you are correct, Dr Lisle. We are not at all suited,’ and Bella hastily showed the little man to the door. ‘It’s an ill wind,’ she said to Dr Syd, who was doubled up with suppressed laughter behind the curtained screen.
‘Thank your lucky stars you’re off his list.’ But then the laughter faded and her brow puckered into a frown. ‘You don’t think he’ll take the matter any further, do you? I mean, use this as a means to make difficulties for the clinic?’
‘Why should he? If he’s no longer interested in me, he can no longer have any concerns over the clinic, can he? He only wanted to close it to force my hand, or rather my finger into a wedding ring. Ugh, I shudder at the thought.’
Both women accepted this theory as sound. Within days, however, they discovered otherwise. Bella was woken by a frantic knocking at her front door early one morning which startled the babies and set them all off yelling. The caller was Dr Syd who rushed in on a blast of cold air, scattering briefcase, scarf and hat and flopping into the chair in an unusually distressed state.
‘He’s done it. He’s succeeded.’
‘Who has? Succeeded in what?’
‘In getting his revenge.’
Bella stared at Dr Syd’s booted feet depositing mud on her clean rag rug and her thoughts flew at once to Quinn. She knew he’d been too quiet lately, that he wouldn’t be satisfied with simply ruining the last vestige of hope for a reconciliation with her father, as well as the destruction of her relationship with Dan. Blast him! He had to find some other way to hurt her. Dr Syd began to talk and it took some moments before Bella could follow what she was saying.
‘She couldn’t admit to being married, you see, or she would have lost her job. Thrown out of the profession. An absolutely archaic rule but there we are. So many nurses have to keep their marriages secret. It’s not uncommon.’
‘What on earth are you talking about? Start again. Who’s married?’
‘Oh, do pay attention, Bella dear. I’m talking about Mary. Nurse Shaw. That brother of hers that you met … well, he isn’t her brother at all, of course. He’s her husband and the supposed nieces are in fact her own daughters. It’s an unbreakable rule that if a nurse marries she must leave the profession. Makes my blood boil. Some day we’ll succeed in getting it changed, though heaven knows how or when. It’s taken long enough to win the bloody vote. Women worked all through the war in all sorts of jobs, and yet they still think that once a woman marries she should give it all up. They call us pin-money wives. It’s ludicrous.’
Dr Syd ranted on for some time while Bella brewed tea and listened with increasing sympathy, though all she could truly think of was that it meant the clinic was now without a nurse. ‘It never rains but it pours. But what has all of this got to do with Billy Quinn?’
‘Billy Quinn?’ Dr Syd choked on her tea and looked up at her in amazement. ‘I know it’s early in the morning but do try to concentrate, girl. I’m talking about Dr Lisle. God knows how he found out but he’s spilled the beans to the local press. Here it is in black and white. I picked a paper up on my way to the surgery as usual. We’re ruined.’
She drew the newspaper from her briefcase and flung it onto the table. Bella saw at once that it wasn’t a rain shower they’d been hit by, or even a storm. This was a tornado.
Bella hardly needed to read every word to know what it would say, yet she did so, unable to tear her riveted gaze from the page as it informed its concerned readers of the latest scandal to hit the Mothers’ Clinic. The newspaper even carried the report under the heading:
Scandal at Mothers’ Clinic.
The clinic is being run by Jezebels. By a nurse who has committed the cardinal sin of breaking one of this noble profession’s most important rules; and by a scarlet woman who not only has been mistress to a notorious bookmaker well known in the area but has also given birth to his child, passing it off as a waif and stray abandoned on her doorstep. It has even been rumoured that she is expecting another.
‘What utter tosh. These stupid rumours grow bigger by the day. They’ll be saying all three of these babies are mine before we’re done.’
Now having been joined by Tilly, looking somewhat bemused and befuddled,
jiggling a baby on each hip, all three women looked at each other appalled, for of course that was exactly what they would say.
Bella felt sick. It was as if the whole world had turned against her. With this kind of press, what hope did she have of winning even Dan’s support? Why on earth should he choose to believe her above the facts he read in the paper?
Because if he truly loved her, he should surely take her word above all others.
Dan knew perfectly well that Holly wasn’t hers. How could she possibly be? Though Bella knew that for all he understood the fallacy of this particular part of the tale and might long to believe in her, his mates were constantly dripping doubt like poison in his ear. She still hoped she might win him round, though it would take time. But as well as the upset these lies had caused in her relationship with Dan, there was the effect upon the clinic.
‘Read the rest,’ Dr Syd said, her voice bleak.
‘Two other babies have been found abandoned, one of whom appears to be the child of a woman patient. So much for the beneficial effect upon families of our Mothers’ Clinic.’
‘Where in heaven’s name did they get that story from? Has Mrs Blundell been gossiping? It’s not true anyway. The new Mrs Clarke wasn’t a patient at the clinic. Everyone knows how desperately hard I tried to persuade her to come, yet failed.’
‘No one is going to believe that, because she’s certainly a patient now. Anyway, mud sticks. They, he - we can only guess the source of these tales for we’ve no proof - have thrown enough at us this time, to make sure of that. How our various benefactors will view this sort of scandal, I dread to think. They are hardly going to be pleased and may withdraw their support altogether.’
Bella wrote again to her father, risked further rejection by calling at Seedley Park Road time after time to beg for the support of her family, using every device she could think of. She pleaded with Mrs Dyson, with Emily, even with Sam when once he came to the door, for a brief moment of her father’s time so that she could explain the facts to him. Bella felt certain that if she could only win him over then she could convince anyone. Besides, Simeon Ashton still had influence. If people saw her father standing by her, they would think twice before condemning her. But he remained obdurate. There was no response. This man, her adored Pa, who had once believed that the sun shone out of his daughter’s lovely hazel eyes, refused absolutely to even speak with her.