The Final Lesson Plan (36 page)
Side note: According to my research on Google, it is very difficult to become a spy (CIA agent). Not only do they want above a 3.5 grade point average, but they also want you to know two foreign languages and stay squeaky clean. No drugs. No alcohol. Nothing.
Dear Anthony Ray (aka: Sir Mix-A-Lot):
Totally timeless song! "Baby Got Back" will never get old or run its course. When the song starts, my head automatically just starts bobbing around. It really happens to everyone. I dare anyone to listen to that song without a bee-bopping head, tapping foot, and smile on their face. It's an automatic mood-booster. Who needs uppers when you've got "Baby Got Back?"
Dear Urban Meyer:
O-H…
I loved Tressel; he has a special place in my heart. But dude, you're rocking that football team. To go undefeated when a bowl game isn't at stake is a huge, I mean huge, accomplishment. Keep up the good work, and I'll happily allow you to continue to wear scarlet and gray. I-O
Dear Cleveland Indians:
My first Tribe obsession was Franklin Gutierrez (look him up girls). Holy hotness on a skillet people! Then, after you Cleveland bastards traded him, I followed the drool and went along with the rest of world to obsess over Grady Sizemore. I mean, how could I not? But now, now, I am overjoyed once again. Thank you Cleveland for my beautiful, spunky, and charismatic Nick Swisher. Damn, love that guy. And he's a Buckeye fan. What more could I really want?
Dear Cedar Point:
You are the roller coast! Love me some roller coasters and upside downy rides! When I walk through that gate, I'm 10-years-old again. Thank you for giving me Ponce de Leon's fountain of youth.
Dear Kate Spade:
I love you. I got over my Coach obsession. It's now you. I dig all of my Kate Spade bags and accessories. We should be best friends, so you can give me things for free. What do you think?
Dear Gordon Gee:
Thanks for my degree! I truly appreciate it. Since it's so hard to get into Ohio State now, I have this fear that one day you're going to knock on my door and revoke my degree. Back when I went to school there, I just needed a pulse to get in. Now, to get in, you can't even miss a question on your Kindergarten entrance exam. Please don't take my degree back. I kind of need it.
Dear Walter Harrison:
So University of Hartford, huh? Alright, nice work. I mean, what do I know about you? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. If you're doing well, then keep it up. If you suck, then get your head in the game and get to it.
Dear NFL:
What can we do about the Browns? Help us out. Throw us a bone.
Dear Bruce Joel Rubin (Writer of
Ghost
):
Love story? Are you freaking kidding me? I was scared out of my mind. I had diarrhea all night long. It was ridiculous. No way! Demi and Patrick were hot and all that, but it was a terrifying movie.
Dear John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Thomas Paine
(Our forefathers who wrote The U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights):
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or of the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." First Amendment to the Constitution
You fucking rock! Thank you for writing that little piece of literary genius. I shall forever be indebted to your intellectual superiority. Proud to be an American.
My husband for being the rock I needed when I was crumbling and ready to give up.
My friends and family who love and support me, even when they don't necessarily agree with my decisions. I changed their names, because they don't want to be listed in a raunchy book. But yet, they still love me. Big Yucky, Tarbubble Tart, Cardinal Fan, Sofia's Mom, Softball Coach, Sophia Chamberlain, Poole Girl, Aurora, Nacho, and Volley chick.
My online imaginary friends who have quickly become an important part of my daily existence:
Michael Burhans: Your humor and wit amuse me. But I love your passion for the underdog; you're always fighting against the injustices in this world.
Debra Celentano: You rock my life; I know I tell you that all the time. You do so much for me. You are the guru of blog tours.
Angela McLaurin: You are the best cyber fairy money can buy, but actually your love is FREE! I love my Fictionally Formatted masterpiece. Authors, if you are looking for beautiful formatting work, then look up Angela at Fictional Formats.
Lisa Rutledge: You make my world a brighter place. You make me laugh and give me confidence.
Denise Tung: I wouldn't be where I am today without your support and encouragement. I will someday hug you and squeeze you.
Beth Ehemann: Thank you for stalking me. It makes me feel so important. Thank you also for fighting my online enemies.
Connie Johnson: Thank you for filling me in on all the black/white stereotypes and relationships.
Janessa Osborne: I am so thankful for your outstanding pimping abilities. "Just keep pimping. Just keep pimping."
Christine Zolendz: I love our talks and inappropriate jokes and laughter.
My spectacular BETA readers: Stephanie Bailey, J.d. Berner, and Shannon Girard.
And finally, those wild and crazy DARK SIDERS!! You've spiced up many of my evenings, igniting many of my humdrum nights.
And last, but certainly not least, thank you so much to the wonderful bloggers out there, who promote Indie author work. We would be writers without readers if we didn't have you. Nobody wants that. A special thank you to those of you who agreed to promote
The Final Lesson Plan: Schooled II
during its kickoff Blog Tour.
In order of the BLOG TOUR appearance:
The Book Enthusiast, Debra Celentano/Cindy Meyer
Angela's Smexy Book Reviews, Angela Glass
Stephanie's Book Reports, Stephanie Phillips
Peace Love Books, Crystal
Sarah's Book Blog, Sarah
Book Nerds Anonymous, Derna Fearon
The Book Whore-der's Delights, Wendy Rex
Chrissy Sharp
The Blushing Reader, Michelle Cole
The Phantom Paragrapher, Paula Phillips
The Book Blog, Jennifer Noe
Reality Bites, Let's Get Lost, Michele
Book Ramblings of a Neurotic Mom, Shona Lawrence
Reading Delightz, Sherri Zee
Mary Elizabeth's Crazy Book Obsession, Mary Tatar
Rose's Book Blog, Rose Caceres
Winding Stairs Book Blog, Christy Murphy
Sugar and Spice Book Reviews, Brandi Franklin
So Many Books, So Little Time, Amber
Book Bitches Blog, Lisa Maurer
All Romance Review, Michelle and Pepper
The Book Hookers, Tray Davis
Becca the Bibliophile, Becca Manuel
Wine, Relaxation, and my Kindle, Dr. Melannie White
Sandwich Making Book Bitches, Stephenie Phillipsen
Scandalous Book Blog, Natasha Bennett
Sofia Loves Books, Sofia Lazaridou
Up All Night Book Addict, Amber Gleisner