Jenn enjoyed them equally, as she enjoyed listening to all the many different musicians in her collection. But these two…these two separate and distinct talents, were the ones she went back to again and again.
She thought…if someone could merge them together, could meld them into one talent, one voice, a single personality. The seeker of truth and the joyful entertainer.
And both of them, the combination, writing songs from the heart.
What music that would be.
Jenn thought she maybe should eat some breakfast today. At least try it.
You couldn’t sing on an empty stomach.
You sure couldn’t dance on one, either.
“Milk,” she answered her mother.
“Alright, angel,” her mother said, and her voice was husky.
That last song, Jenn thought. It had spoken to her, in about as clear a voice as anybody could wish to hear.
Some things don’t change, they never do.
Some things do change, they change with you.
She looked again at the pictures of herself and her father, thinking about how much courage he’d shown when he was getting ready for his journey.
She thought she needed some too, for her own.
“Orange juice, too,” she said toward the kitchen. And added, “Please, ma’am.”
At breakfast, Jenn ate sparingly, like a bird, but at least Laurie thought it was a start. Just so long as she didn’t go into the bathroom and throw it up. Laurie asked her what she planned to do today, it would be another clear hot day, and Jenn said she thought she was going to mess around on the guitar, and she might call Noreen Velasco and Anna Cope and ask them if they wanted to bring their guitars over. It had been a while since they’d done that.
“Will you try to eat some lunch?” Laurie asked.
Jenn crunched on a piece of bacon. “Do we have any peanut butter?”
Laurie got dressed for work, in her Denny’s uniform. She would put on the tag that said
Hi I’m Laurie
when she got there. She put her hair in braids. She brushed her teeth. Thank the Lord Jenn don’t have my big ol’ choppers, she thought. The sun was about to come up.
She could hear her daughter playing her guitar again. Music was a beautiful gift.
She went in to say goodbye, and Jenn said, “Mom, I was thinking. Could I maybe start my lessons back?”
“I think you absolutely could. Absolutely.” Jenn had quit her lessons months ago. Jenn was good, very good, but she was the kind of person—or used to be, before she got so sad and sick—who always wanted to be better.
“Can we afford ’em? I could probably find a job at the mall.”
“Yes, we can afford ’em. And we’ll talk about that later. You just enjoy your day.” And don’t
worry
so much, Laurie almost said, but today she didn’t think she had to. She started to close the door.
Jenn said, “You can leave it open, Mom.”
“Okay.” Laurie listened to her daughter playing. Watched her hands moving on the strings. Sending music into the air. Who could say where it would go? “Love you,” she said.
“Love you, too,” said Jenn. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“You can leave a tip on the table,” Laurie told her, and she met her daughter’s quick smile with one of her own, and then she left the house with music in her ears.
On the way to the car, she thought that money was tight, it always was, but she would figure out how to get those guitar lessons for Jenn. It seemed very important to her, and it seemed very right.
Because for someone you loved, sacrifice was no problem.
For someone you loved, it was no problem at all.
Thanks and Dedications
I’d like to thank, first and foremost, Cass Scripps of the Metro Talent Agency in Atlanta for taking me through the life of musicians on the—his very excellent term—“knife and gun circuit”.
I’d like to thank The Verve. I was having lunch in a California Pizza Kitchen restaurant when I heard a song over the speakers. It immediately spoke to me, and I had to ask the hostess to find out for me what the name of the song was and who the artists were. That situation gave me the seed of this book—the power of a song to speak to an individual. The song was ‘Bittersweet Symphony’.
I’d like to dedicate this book to the following bands and artists. These are people I have listened to when I needed the balm or blast of music. All of them are in here somewhere. I have a long list to go through, and to be fair I put all the names in a blue porkpie hat and drew them out. They are not in any order of fame, or genre, or timeframe. They are in the order the blue porkpie hat decided.
So, thank you,
To Duane Eddy, The Haunted, The Red Walls, Nova’s Nine, XTC, The Cuff Links, Pink, The Pretenders, Cat Stevens, Norman Greenbaum, Blood Sweat and Tears, Sex Pistols, Empire Of The Sun, Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark, Panic At The Disco, The Grass Roots, Wang Chung, Prince, AC/DC, Crimson Metal Dragon, Adam and The Ants, Annie Lennox, Brian Wilson, Pearl Jam, Booker T & The MGs, My Chemical Romance, The Hot Melts, Green Day, Allman Brothers Band, Cream, The Kingston Trio, The The, The Killers, The Trashmen, Elton John, the Beau Brummels, Dirtblonde, No River City, Carly Simon, The Clash, Chevelle 6, Delicate Balance, 10cc, Robert Fripp, Heart, The Fray, Moon Taxi, 13th Floor Elevators, Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, The Wheels, Spencer Davis Group, Cyndi Lauper, Gang of Four.
To Sonic Youth, Curtis Mayfield, 311, Soul Society, Metallica, Steppenwolf, The Specials, Procul Harum, Junior Brown, The Doors, Billy Joel, The White Stripes, Buffalo Tom, Spirit, Pink Floyd, Three Dog Night, the B52s, Amboy Dukes, Simon and Garfunkel, Uriah Heep, the Black Crowes, The Rolling Stones, Dion, the Human League, HIM, Pat Benatar, Herman’s Hermits, The Yeah Yous, The Farm, Gonn, Edwin Starr, Simple Minds, Jethro Tull, Flock Of Seagulls, Robert Palmer, Grains Of Sand, Brian Eno, The Screaming Blue Messiahs, Famen, Tears For Fears, Leo Kottke, Bruce Cockburn, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blue Oyster Cult, Janis Joplin, Things To Come, Filter, America, Beastie Boys, The Police, the Flaming Lips.
To Traffic, the Goo Goo Dolls, Johnny Cash, the Black Eyed Peas, Fear, Lovin’ Spoonful, Alison Moyet, the Buckinghams, Elvis Costello and the Attractions, Johnny Rivers, The Moody Blues, Buckethead, Gary Numan, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Rare Earth, Billy Idol, Jan and Dean, Evanescence, the Ides of March, Blondie, Sheryl Crow, Royal Trux, the Yardbirds, the Motels, Kronos Quartet, The Kinks, Red Sky July, Rage Against The Machine, David Bowie, The Swingin’ Medallions, Morning Bell, Mountain, Smashing Pumpkins, Slipknot, Black Sabbath, the Byrds, Mouse & The Traps, Talking Heads, Elvis Presley, INXS, Lily Allen, Alice In Chains, Joan Jett, Jefferson Airplane, the Pretty Things, James Brown, The Bold, Etta James, Supertramp, Chicago, Weezer, Donovan, Delphi Rising, 13th Omen, Ram Jam.
To Badly Drawn Boy, The Isley Brothers, The Cars, Crowded House, Squeeze, Insane Clown Posse, Guns N’ Roses, Jimmy McGriff, the Dandy Warhols, Joni Mitchell, the Beach Boys, Concrete Blonde, the Kingsmen, Fading Tribesmen, the Geto Boys, Jimmy Smith, the Third Bardo, the Cult, Roy Orbison, Aerosmith, War, Nine Inch Nails, Dick Dale, Rob Zombie, KC & The Sunshine Band, the Chocolate Watch Band, Counting Crows, Vince Gill, Gwen Stefani and No Doubt, the Seeds, Hole, Moby Grape, the Turtles, MC5, Joe Cocker, Sam The Sham and the Pharaohs, Count Five, the Beatles, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Oasis, Cheap Trick, James Taylor, U2, Band Of Horses, Wendy and Lisa, the Checkerlads, Jerry Lee Lewis, Journey, Dead Kennedys, Nameless, the Zombies, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Kings Of Leon.
To Warren Zevon, the Rockin’ Rebellions, Les Paul, Bruce Springsteen, Beck, Crosby Stills Nash and Young, the Waitresses, the Breeders, the Righteous Brothers, the Grateful Dead, Run-DMC, Duran Duran, Wire Train, The Band, Adrian Legg, Peter Paul and Mary, the Osbourne Brothers, Fabulous DJs, Van Halen, Natalie Merchant, Fall Out Boy, Toronados, Yes, Iggy Pop, Jesus Jones, Electric Flag, Alice Cooper, Poco, Joan Baez, Brewer and Shipley, Grand Funk Railroad, Jimi Hendrix, Tony DeFrancesco, James Gang, The Eagles, The Call, The Who, Tina Turner, Pet Shop Boys, Sugarloaf, Def Leppard, Dead Tight Five, Candy Store Prophets, Billy Joe Royal, Sound We Sleep, Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels.
To Van Morrison, the Troggs, King Crimson, Jackson Browne, Taylor Hicks, Sir Douglas Quintet, Melanie, ZZ Top, Bob Dylan, Marvin Gaye, the Electric Prunes, Molly Hatchet, Big Mama Thornton, the Velvet Underground, Bad Company, Black Oak Arkansas, Dire Straits, Judy Collins, T.Rex, Bob Seger, the Butthole Surfers, the O’Jays, Question Mark and the Mysterians, Iron Maiden, Free, Jane’s Addiction, London Suede, The Fixx, Rickie Lee Jones, the Guess Who, Midnight Oil, Sheila E., Prefab Sprout, The Kytes, Kelly Clarkson, Judy Collins, the J. Geils Band, They Might Be Giants, The Acid Gallery, Boy George, Yer Cronies, Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles, Oingo Boingo, Karen Lawrence & The Pinz, The Fugitives, Fever Tree, Lord & The Flies, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Teenage Fanclub, The Turnstyle.
To the Castaways, the Bloodhound Gang, Orange Machine, Turfits, ’Til Tuesday, Emmylou Harris, the Psychedelic Furs, the Shadows of Knight, Foreigner, Steely Dan, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Animals, Spring Heel Jack, the Standells, the Main Ingredient, Jr. Walker & The All-Stars, Doobie Brothers, Carole King, Otis Redding, Lemon Pipers, Marilyn Manson, Them, Todd Rundgren, the Dakotas, the Misunderstood, Bruce Hornsby, Soundgarden, Paul Revere & The Raiders, The Sinners, Zakary Thaks, Helmet, The Dream Academy, Cypress Hill, Leon Russell, The Ting Tings, Sky Cries Mary, Dave Clark Five, Inspiral Carpets, Devo, The Clique, The Go-Betweens, Wimple Winch, The Poets, Toadies, The Lost Brothers, The Jaggerz, Sly & The Family Stone, Remember Tomorrow, Polly Mackey & The Pleasure Principle, Ten Wheel Drive, The Glass Menagerie, The Status Quo, Beyond Solace, Soul Inc., and the Field Hippies.
To all these bands and individuals, I want to say you have given so much, you don’t even have any idea what you’ve given, and you can never be repaid for your talents and your gifts.
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I know I’m leaving out thousands of great bands. I’m leaving out bands who shot like fiery comets across the stages of small town clubs and burned out long before I was born. I’m leaving out bands who are being born as I write this. I’m leaving out the band who dyed their hair silver, and the band who tore it up on stage in togas. I’m leaving out the band who no one could understand, and the one who dared to smile for their picture.
I’d like to end here with three words, delivered with a jump and shout: Support live music!
Robert McCammon
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