The Flawed Mistress (The Summerville Journals) (8 page)

   
“My dear, what on earth is there to say?”  He whispered.

   
“Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head.  “There is more.  Are you sure
you want to hear it?”

   
He nodded then held me against him once more.  There were tears in my eyes
and a lump in my throat which made it difficult to talk.

   
“I was, of course, much too old for his tastes.  He was having difficulty,
he said, procuring little girls since so many do-gooders had started up homes
for them,” I told him bitterly.  “He wanted a wife to visit these orphan
homes and help him to trick the owners.  I was to play the part of a woman
anxious to adopt a little girl.  That is where Louisa came from.” 

   
“You mean you............”

   
“Yes,” I interrupted.  “Even when I reminded him who I was, he still
thought I would help him.  He knew how desperate I was, how I had nothing
and nowhere without him, but I was never that desperate.  We found Louisa,
crawling with lice and filthy, but managed to delay him while Lucy bathed her.”

   
“And?
  What happened then?”

   
I sat up and looked at him, my gaze holding his.  I needed to see what
expression crossed his features when I told him.

   
“Then I killed him,” I said firmly.  “I poisoned him.  I tumbled him
down the stairs into the wine cellar and that is where he has remained.”

   
To my total surprise, he smiled, and it was a happy smile, a smile of sheer
pleasure.

   
“Good,” he said.  “Now you must come to Summerville Hall with me, you and
Lucy and Louisa.”

   
“I do not want to show my face anywhere near court ever again,” I declared.

   
“You will not have to.  I shall not be going there, not with a protestant
on the throne, and if people believe you are my mistress they will leave you
alone.”

   
“I cannot let you do that.”

   
“I was not asking your permission,” he said flippantly.  “Do not concern
yourself.  You will not be my only mistress, no one would expect it.”

   
He kissed my forehead affectionately.

   
“You can revert to your own name,” he was saying.  “Nobody will look for
you, nobody will know.  Lady Rachel Stewart is about to become the
favourite mistress of Lord Richard Summerville and anyone who tries to
challenge that will have me to deal with.”

   
I watched his face for a little while, then reached up and kissed his
cheek.  I was so overwhelmed with
gratitude,
I
could barely find words to thank him.

   
“Why would you do so much for me?”  I asked at last.

   
“Because I love you, Rachel,” he replied, while I stiffened slightly.  He
shook his head slowly.  “Will you ever trust me?  I made you a
promise, remember?  I promised you that I would never ask anything of you
that you did not want to freely give.  After the things you have told me
today, that
promise means even more to me than it did when I
made it.”

***

   
So we locked up the house and journeyed to Suffolk, leaving the rotted corpse of the
Monster in the wine cellar.  I wondered how long it would be before anyone
found him, before anyone came looking, curious about the overgrown country
manor lying neglected among the weeds.

   
The two girls, Lucy and Louisa, were very excited.  They chattered away in
the carriage on the way there and I noticed Richard looking at them
indulgently.

   
“What will you find for these two when we get there?”  I asked him,
causing the girls to stop their chatter and look to him for an answer.

   
“That is up to you, my love,” he replied with a smile.  “They are your
servants.”

   
I shook my head.

   
“No.  They are my friends.  I do not know what I would have done
without them.”

   
“Well, then, they deserve the best, as do you.  Summerville Hall is
vast,
there is plenty of room for you all.”

   
When we arrived a servant escorted the two girls to bedchambers next to one
another while I remained in the great hall to meet Anthony, Richard’s young
cousin.  He was a good looking boy, about twelve years of age, and very
polite. 

   
“My Lady,” he said softly, bowing over my hand and kissing it.  “Richard
has told me so much about you.  I am so pleased to finally meet you.”

   
We had refreshments then Richard escorted me to a bedchamber next to his
own.  I must have looked dismayed as he quickly reassured me.

   
“It is for appearances,” he said.  “We want the servants to think I am
your lover, do we not?  Servants gossip;
  before
you know it everyone in the village will know, and no one will bother you.”

   
I nodded then looked around at the rich furnishing and tapestries.  This
was more luxury than I had ever known before and I wondered why I had never
realised just how wealthy Richard was.

   
“You will have your own house, Rachel,” he was saying.  “And I will
arrange a pension of some kind for you.  That way, if anything happens to
me, you will not be left destitute again.  You will not have to beg for
help, you will be your own person.”

   
“Oh, Richard!
  What did I do to deserve a friend
like you?”

   
“Just be happy,” he replied with a smile.  “That is all I ask.”

   
I stayed with him and Anthony for two years before my own house had been built,
right on the edge of the Summerville estate but about three miles from the main
hall.  It was a manor house of medium size, big enough for me and my
servants with a small park and stables.

   
During the time I stayed with him he treated me as I imagine a he would treat a
sister, always respectful, never forward.  We ate together, talked
together and often went out in the carriage.  Occasionally, there would be
a local ball to which he would take me, but I preferred to remain at
home.  I thought about the contrast that when men looked at me wherever I
went, I felt sick with dread, but Richard so obviously enjoyed the same
attention from women.

   
There were many women in his life, but he never brought them home. 
Instead he would spend nights away, which I would not dream of questioning.

   
When we moved to the new house, Lucy was my maid, Louisa had developed a talent
for cooking and we had our own men servants to tend the hard work, the grounds
and to drive the carriage.

   
This was ideal for me.  Nobody would bother me while they thought that I
was Richard's mistress, while I was under his protection.

   
He had said he would not be going to court and he had kept his word.  He
had no position there and he was not in favour with the King or the Lord
Protector.  They had no proof that he was catholic, but I do believe they
suspected it.

   
There was a catholic chapel in the woods, overgrown and hidden by the trees,
and I knew that he heard mass there, gaining access through the tunnels under
the house.  He never asked me to accompany him and I never did.  I
attended the church in the village, as that was the law, but neither the
protestant service there, nor the Catholic one in the hidden chapel meant
anything to me.  I was not even certain that there was a God and if there
was, He certainly had no love for me.

   
The years slipped by, quietly and happily.  Lucy married one of the male
servants and set up home in a small cottage in the village, rented from the
Summerville estate.  The man obviously adored her and for that I was glad;
she had supported me through everything and I was so glad to see her happy.

   
Although I had my own house, I still spent time at Summerville Hall.  I
enjoyed Richard’s company and I enjoyed Anthony’s.  He was growing up into
a fine young man and was always kindness itself to me and he worshipped
Richard.

   
One afternoon I had called to see if either of them wanted to come riding with
me  the
following day, when I caught sight of Richard,
leaving his bedchamber with a rather lovely blonde woman.  I had seen her
before; she was his neighbour from the small manor house over the hill,
Winterton
House.  So he was choosing his mistresses
from closer to home now?  I said nothing to him
nor
to Anthony, but I left, not wanting to embarrass the woman by letting her know
I had seen.  I knew she had a husband and exposure might be dangerous for
her.

   
When I got home, I could see that Louisa had just returned from
somewhere.  Although she had said nothing to me, she had taken it upon
herself to ride out to the Monster’s house and see if anyone was living there,
if anyone had yet found his body.

   
“It has burned down, My Lady,” she told me when she came back.  “I asked
about the village and it seems it was burned down just after we left. 
There is nothing there now, nothing at all.  They said the fire started in
the wine cellar.”

   
I turned to see Richard standing in the doorway.  He had just arrived, but
he had overhead and the expression he wore told me he knew a little more about
the fire that had destroyed my former home.

   
I gave him an enquiring look, but he merely shrugged.

   
“Well, that was fortunate,” he said with a grin.  “Perhaps we forgot to
put the fire out properly before we left.”

   
“My Lord,” Louisa said in acknowledgement, then curtsied and left us alone.

   
“It was you, was it not?”

   
“Not personally, no,” he replied.  “It seemed the best way.  Perhaps
the evil that he would have left about the place has burned with him.”

   
I reached up and kissed his cheek.

   
“I am glad to see you.  It has been more than a week.”

   
“Forgive me,” he replied.  “I have been very busy.”

   
“With your lovely neighbour,” I replied with a smile.  “I saw you.”

   
“Julia?  Sorry, that was inconsiderate of me.”

   
“Not at all.
  It is none of my concern whom you
choose to bed, but a little close to home I would have thought.”

   
He laughed then and came to sit beside me, taking my hands.

   
“It has been almost five years since Rosemary died,” he said softly.  “I
am searching for a new Countess.  I thought you should know.”

   
“Thank you.  I hope you choose wisely this time.  Do you have anyone
in mind?”

   
“I do, but you will think me crass.  Lady
Winterton
has a sister who visited her in the summer.  I noticed her at once; she
looks a lot like you.”

   
I gave a cynical laugh.

   
“Then you had best rescue her before some lecherous deviant takes notice of
her.”  I could have bitten out my tongue for that.  “Forgive
me.  That was unnecessary.  Does she really look like me?  Lady
Winterton
is very fair.”

   
“She does, though I have to say not quite as beautiful.  I do not believe
anybody could be as beautiful as you.”

   
I could at last hear those words in that tone without stiffening, without
feeling threatened.  It had taken me all this time to accept that there
was no hidden meaning behind his words.

   
“But I saw you this afternoon, leaving your bedchamber with her sister,” I
said.

   
“Yes,” he replied, looking slightly abashed.  “I said you would think me
crass.”

   
“Why?  If you have designs on the lady’s sister, why on earth would you
take her to your bed?”

   
He gave me an abashed look,
then
smiled mischievously.

   
“I have never had much patience with people who say ‘it just happened’ but,
well, it just happened.”

   
“If you say so, My Lord,” I replied sceptically.

   
“I need your advice.  I do not want to tie myself to someone who will be
unhappy with the arrangement,” he began.  “I thought if I put it to the
lady herself, an agreement perhaps with conditions, what do you think?”

   
“I think that would very much depend on what sort of woman she is,” I
replied.  “I would have killed for a civilised agreement, but most women
might need a little, shall we say wooing?”

   
“I do not believe that is the sort of thing I am looking for,” he replied
doubtfully.  “The last thing I want is someone running away with the idea
that I am in love with her.”

   
“Why not?”

   
“Because I do not believe that is possible.  I have had many women in my
life and I have never been in love with any of them, not even you my
love.  I do not want anyone to get hurt.”

   
“Then you had best meet her, see what she is like up close if you know what I
mean.”

   
“I intend to,” he answered with a little note of enthusiasm.  “Sir
Geoffrey holds a twelfth night ball every year.  I shall make it my
business to attend.”

   
“What makes you think you will be invited?”

   
“I am always invited,” he replied as though it were obvious.  “He has to
invite me, since I own half the county, but he does not expect me to attend and
I never do.  This year will be different.”  He paused and gazed at me
thoughtfully for a moment.  “Would you care to accompany me?”

    
“No!”  I cried with a laugh, shaking my head.  “Not if you are
planning on getting to know Lady
Winterton’s
sister.”

     “Do you
mind?”

     “Mind
what, My Lord?”

     “Mind my
talking to you about
this,
mind my thinking of getting
married.”

    
“Of course not.
  It is not my place to mind, is
it?  I knew that one day it would happen, it would have to happen. 
And I want you to be happy, which is why I have to remind you of
something.”  He turned to me with a puzzled frown and I went on, “the
likelihood is that she will be protestant. I imagine you will want her to
convert to your faith. It would be unfair to marry her without revealing that,
yet what you are doing is illegal.  You need to be very careful that you
can trust her with the information.”