Authors: Irina Shapiro
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #War, #Romance, #Military, #Romantic Suspense, #Mystery & Suspense, #Suspense
Chapter
21
Jeremy knew that decisions would need to be made, but
Elizabeth
seemed so happy that he decided to wait a little before starting to press the point. Thankfully, Sir Henry left for London at the end of August
,
giving them a little time. Being formal with each other during the day was torture, but there were servants about
,
and sometimes callers
who
needed to see them as just the lady of the house and her stepson. No intimacy could be allowed until the house was sound asleep
,
and they could have a few stolen hours together.
The first time
Elizabeth
came to
Jeremy’s
room, her auburn hair hung about her shoulders
,
and her frilly nightdress made her look like she was twelve. She looked so young and vulnerable that Jeremy felt his heart constrict at the sight of her. He had to do everything possible to spare her pain
and
humiliation.
They
needed a plan
,
and the sooner they carried it out the better. The
re
was no point putting off the inevitable.
“Lizzie, love, we must talk about the future. We can’t carry on like this under Henry’s nose. He
’
ll be back in a few days
,
and things cannot return back to normal.”
“What should we do, Jeremy?”
Elizabeth
looked at him, full of trust, leaving it to him to take charge. He had been working out a plan and it was time to tell her.
“Lizzie, Henry will never just let you go. We need to disappear and go somewhere where he will never find us. I know it’s cruel, but it’s the only way out. As long as you
’r
e his wife, you legally belong to him
,
and any offspring you bear
;
so you must be out of his power.”
“Jeremy, I know you
’
re right,
but it’s a terrible thing to do to your father
.
Maybe we should tell him outright.
He can cut us off, but he can’t stop us leaving.
”
“He
’
s not my father, Elizabeth
, and he can stop us
.
He can stop you.
”
Elizabeth
looked up from Jeremy’s chest.
“I know you don’t get on, but you are his son.”
“I am not
his son. I never was.
” Jeremy reached over to the nightstand and withdrew an envelope with a broken wax seal. He pulled out the letter
,
handed it to
Elizabeth
and
brought
the cand
le closer, so she could read the spidery
writing.
March 12, 1809
My dearest Jeremy,
By the time you receive this letter
,
I will
be
past the suffering of this world. Death is coming for me
,
and I must tell you the truth before it’s too late. I know I should have told you in person, but I
’
d been a coward and kept putting it off, hoping I wouldn’t have to if Henry died before me.
I was born Mariah Culver and grew up in Seven Dials, London.
Poverty and hunger were the only two things I was sure of
as a child
,
and I
was
orphaned by the time I was twelve
;
taking to the streets to survive. Unlike many other girls
,
I got lucky. One of my
clients
owned a theater in Drury Lane and thought I had potential
, so he
took me in
,
and by the time I was sixteen, I was one of the most famous actresses
to tread
the boards. Mr. Winslow was a good man and never asked for anything in return. I had many titled and wealthy admirers, but the only one I loved was your father. He was an actor in our troupe and was frequently my leading man. When I found out I was with child, he begged me to marry him, but I would have better for my son. I knew what happen
ed
to
actors
once they age
d
and los
t
their looks. We would be back where we came from
,
and I wouldn’t have it.
Sir Henry was one of my most ardent admirers
, so
I finally accepted his attentions. My terms were marriage or nothing and surprisingly, he agreed. I never told him
the truth
, but he suspected that you weren’t his son. Accepting you as his own was the price he paid to possess me. Henry loved me, but he
never warmed to you
,
and wanted you out of the house as soon as you were old enough. I thought my heart would break when
he sent you away
, but as long as Henry acknowledged you as his son and heir in front of the world, I would suffer in silence.
I genuinely tried to be a good wife to Henry and give him children of his own, but after several miscarriages
,
the doctor advised me to stop trying. Henry was bitterly disappointed, but he hid it well. Despite everything, he wanted to make me happy. Living at
Flynn Manor
was very difficult for me after the thrill of being on the stage and enjoying everything that London had to offer, but I tried to make the best of it. I had you
,
and that was enough.
In case you are wondering, your father died
some
years
after you were born. He began to drink heavily after I left
,
and drank
himself
to death.
James Sutton
was a good man
,
and you remind me of him in a hundred little ways.
My son, please take care of yourself and come back from this war in one piece.
Knowing that you will be a
b
aronet one day makes everything
I’ve done
worth it
,
and my only regret is not seeing you one more time before I die.
I l
ove you
,
and may God bless you and grant you the things that make life worth living.
Lady Mariah Flynn
Elizabeth
put the letter down and looked at Jeremy. “So you both know the truth.”
“If Sir Henry admits that I
’
m not his, it will cause a terrible scandal
,
and he won’t have it. I have no doubt that Henry bought me that commission in the hope of getting rid of me, but unfortunately for him
;
I survived. If you were to bear him a son, he would likely find some way to make him the heir, but as long as I am the only one, he will bide his time.
Elizabeth
I
’
m grateful to him for marrying my mother and taking me on, but the time for gratitude is over. I
’
m nearly thirty and it’s now or never and I am not leaving here without you.”
“What do you propose?”
“Once Henry comes back, I
’
ll go to London for a few days. I need to tie up some lo
o
se ends. While I
’
m away, try to feign illness, so Henry leaves you in peace.
I won’t have him touching you.
I must admit
that
jealousy is new to me,” Jeremy added with a smile. “Next thing you know, I
’
ll be calling him out.”
“No one is calling anyone out. You have nothing to be jealous of. I will never let him touch me again.”
Elizabeth tried to distract Jeremy by kissing his chest, but he was still preoccupied with Henry.
“I
’
m still jealous. I can’t help myself. The thought of him
near
you is enough to
drive me mad
.”
“Why don’t you forget about Henry
and tell me what you have planned.”
“Once I come back from London, we will
disappear
.”
Chapter
22
Once Jeremy left for London Elizabeth didn’t have to feign illness to avoid Henry. She truly was ill. She woke up every morning feeling as if her stomach was trying to leave her body on its own accord
,
and needed to keep a basin by her bed, usually not having enough time to reach the
toilet
. She could barely keep anything down
,
and she was sleepy and tired most of the time.
“Are you feeling any better, my dear?” Sir Henry asked as she sat down at the breakfast table
,
trying to ignore the nauseating smell of sausage. “Would you like some eggs?”
“Just tea and toast, please, Tom,” she said to the footman feeling a wave of nausea again. “Or maybe just tea.”
“You should get some fresh air today. Would you like me to take you out in the phaeton? It might do you good.” Sir Henry was being awfully solicitous
,
and Elizabeth knew exactly what he was thinking. He was hoping she was with child and would finally give him the son he
had been
hoping for. She was fairly sure he was right, except
,
he was not the father. She
’
d not bled since
Jeremy made love to her in the cave
,
and she never used the douching mechanism after
being with Jeremy
. The thought of having his child filled her with joy
,
and she wanted to keep her secret safe.
“Thank you, Henry. That would be most kind. I think it was that soup I had the other day. It just didn’t agree with me. I
’
m sure it will pass in a day or two.” She gave him an innocent smile and he smiled back
, the smile never reaching his eyes
.
“No doubt.
Tell
Cook not to make that soup again. Now, finish your tea and let’s get some color back into those cheeks.” Henry popped the last bit of sausage into his mouth, rising from the table and calling for the carriage. “Have
Adams
bring down your bonnet and parasol, my dear.”
Elizabeth finished her tea and rose
from the table
to follow Henry
out into the foyer
. Willa was already coming down the stairs with her favorite bonnet and she put it on, taking the parasol from Willa’s hands. “Feel better, my lady,” whispered Willa
,
giving her a knowing look
,
and going back upstairs to tidy up
Elizabeth
’s room.
Elizabeth
leaned against the cushioned seat of the open carriage, enjoying the lovely day. It was warm
for
September
, but the cool embrace of autumn could be felt toward the evening when a fire was needed to keep the evening chill at bay.
Elizabeth
was glad the summer was
finally
over.
The past few days had been very warm, leaving her feeling faint and breathless, especially in the mornings.
According to Willa, the
morning
sickness
could last a few months, but she prayed it wouldn’t be so. She needed to feel better by the time Jeremy got back. She missed him dreadfully
,
and hoped he would
return
by the end of the week
.
Elizabeth found herself thinking of Jeremy e
very moment of the day, amazed that it was possible to feel such overwhelming tenderness toward a man.
Her hand subconsciously strayed to her belly several times a day, wanting
reassurance
that a life planted by Jeremy was truly growing there
,
despite the lack of physical evidence.
He
r
stomach was still completely flat, the only evidence of pregnancy being the lack of menses and her bouts of illness when she woke up.
Elizabeth
knew she shouldn’t have, but she confided in Willa, telling her the baby was not Henry’s. She needed to talk of her love for Jeremy
,
and Will
a
was the only person she could trust implicitly, certain in the knowledge that she would never betray her. Jeremy would be upset with her for sharing their secret, but she thought she would burst if she didn’t tell someone.
Willa
had been
understandably upset, crying at the thought of losing Elizabeth. “Shall I come with you, my lady?” she asked desperately, no doubt fearful for her own future. Once Elizabeth was gone, Willa would most likely be dismissed since there would be no call for a lady’s maid. Elizabeth wished she could take Willa with her, but that was impossible. She would have to leave the girl behind.
“Willa,
you must stay here
. I don’t even know when we will be going
,
or where. All I ask is that you don’t tell anyone
what
you know. Just act shocked once I
’
m gone.”
“I will,
m
y
l
ady, but who will look after you? Maybe you can send for me once you
’
re settled.”
“Willa,
don’t
worry
about me. I will be all right
and I
promise that I
’
ll send for you if I can.
”
**
Elizabeth
’s heart gave a joyful leap as she gazed out of the drawing room window just in time to see Jeremy galloping down the gravel drive toward the house. He looked grim
,
as he threw the reins of his horse to the waiting groom and ran up the front steps, his sword slapping against his thigh
.
Elizabeth would have hurled herself into his arms if she could, but Henry was just coming down the stairs
ready for their drive
,
and Graves was already at the door
as she drifted out of the drawing room to greet Jeremy.
“So you
’r
e back,” observed Henry unnecessarily as Jeremy entered the foyer. “Was your trip satisfactory?”
“Yes, sir. I bring regards from Aunt Rosamunde. She sends her love to you and Lady Elizabeth. I trust you are well?” Jeremy gave
Elizab
e
th
a passing glance, afraid to alert Henry to anything untoward.
“Lady Elizabeth has been a trifle indisposed this past week, but she seems to be feeling better. Aren’t you
,
my dear?” Henry took Elizabeth by the elbow and steered her toward the door. “A bit of fresh air seems to be just the thing.” The phaeton was already waiting outside as Elizabeth reluctantly put on her bonnet.
“I
’
m sorry you
’
ve been unwell, Lady Elizabeth,
” Jeremy
said as she turned to bid him a good day
. “Perhaps if you are up to it, you will join me for a walk tomorrow morning.”
Elizabeth could see him searching her face since she really did look pale and drawn.
“Yes, thank you, Captain. That would be lovely. Perhaps we can stroll to the
folly
.
I am so fond of that place.”
“As you wish.” Elizabeth looked down at her hands, afraid that Henry would see the longing in her eyes. All she wanted to do was throw her arms around Jeremy and have him hold her. She longed to go to his room tonight, but it was out of the question
,
and she would have to wait until the next day to find out how things stood.