And I shall spend the next few days preparing for another round of copious thanks
, she thought wryly. "Good day, Mr. Appleyard."
"Good day. May the Lord's blessings be upon
you!
" He bowed himself out of the drawing room and was led away by Armstrong, who closed the door quietly behind him.
sighed and sank back in her chair. One more item checked off her mental list. Her brain felt positively befuddled, filled as it was with figures and inventories and accounts, repairs to be made, servants to hire, and tenants to visit. The work to be done seemed endless, and the limited funds at her disposal could not possibly be enough to complete it.
Certainly Aunt Claudia did not approve of her expenditures.
And all this had real purpose. In the fortnight since she had arrived at Hartsmere, every minute of every day had been occupied with learning her role and duties as mistress of Hartsmere or discovering the joys and challenges of motherhood. It was hard work, and she had concentrated until her head ached and a thousand minor concerns kept her from sleep.
But she'd never been happier. Every morning she woke to discover some new miracle: one of Donal's rare smiles when she kissed his cheek, the glorious sun melting the last of the snow, each returning bird that appeared unexpectedly in the bare-branched elm by her window. The
whole world was about to spring back to life, opening up as if to embrace her.
She tried with minimal success to ignore the other reason for her happiness. Work distracted her, as did aiding the unfortunate. But whenever she saw Hartley Shaw grooming one of the horses until its glossy coat shone like porcelain, or speaking to Donal with such attentive gravity, her heart set up a thundering pulse that left her breathless.
It was almost as if his arrival, not hers, had signaled the changes in the dale. And that was ridiculous; she told herself that repeatedly and tried to avoid being near him. But the household staff was still small, Hartley was in charge of the stables, and his strength and versatility made it necessary to call on him frequently.
Above all, he was good for Donal. In spite of her very mixed feelings,
She could not resent Shaw for that. She suspected that the future governess would have a great deal more trouble confining Donal than she did.
Unable to sit still,
Perhaps her new appreciation went hand in hand with her gradual discovery that the countryside was not
a local charwomen
and two additional maidservants, revealed the charms she had overlooked as a girl.
heard voices just out of sight, and soon Hartley Shaw came into view, Donal trailing after him. Hartley touched a few of the dormant plants that he had shaped and nurtured with such surprising care, inviting Donal to do the same.
Hartley knelt on a patch of bare earth, his back blocking
As always, longing and desire roared through
Hartley did not smile. He did so even less often than Donal—especially since their first visit to Birkdale. When he spoke to her, he didn't show his former impudence; in fact, he was noticeably distant. But instead of helping
She closed her eyes.
Who would have thought that you had such feelings left
?
"Mother?"
She opened her eyes to find Donal with a stalk of tiny white flowers in his hand.
"For you," he said and presented the flower to her. She was charmed far more than if the ton's richest peer had presented her with an expensive jewel, and profoundly touched.
"Thank you, Donal," she said. "What a very nice thing to do." She
was smelling
its perfume before she realized that it was a lily of the valley, a flower that did not bloom until well into spring. She looked over Donal's head for Hartley Shaw. He was no longer in the garden.
"Donal, where did you find this flower?" she asked.
"Hartley gave it me."
"And where did he find it?"
Donal pointed into the garden.
There was no sense in trying to make Donal explain. His heart was free of deception, though his imagination was quite extraordinary.
"Did you get your breakfast this morning?" she asked Donal with a bright smile.
"With Hartley, before the sun came up." All at once he was contrite. "Do you want me to wait for you next time, Mother?"
He could still surprise her. She hugged him lightly as he preferred. "I am quite the slugabed, am I not? You need not wait on breakfast, as long as you join me for luncheon."
Donal planted a wet kiss on her cheek. "Very well, Mother. May I go help Hartley with the horses now?"
"Off with you, then!" She watched him run through the garden and toward the stables. The flower, almost forgotten, claimed her attention again.
How very odd. The hothouse stoves have not been lit. How could Shaw have come by it?
"What have you there, Niece?"
turned with a guilty start to face Aunt Claudia. "Donal brought me a flower," she said, surprised at the stammer in her words.
"So I see.
How lovely."
Claudia examined the blossom and touched one tiny white, bell-shaped flower.
"Donal is with Shaw again," she said.
"Yes."
"I have no desire to, and you should keep your son away from such unwholesome influences."
"Children seem impressed by simple matters such as skill with horses and other mysterious adult knowledge."
"Donal spends as much time with that servant as he does with you."
"You cannot expect me to smother him. He has no other male to—"
"That can be remedied."
picked up a cracked porcelain shepherdess from the mantel, turning it about in her hands.
"When my mourning is over."
"I sometimes wonder if you might wish it to last forever."
"I want what is best for my son."
"Then you will be pleased to know that I have employed an experienced governess for Donal. She should be arriving today—in fact, at any moment."
squeezed the shepherdess in her fist until it bit into her palm.
No. Not so soon
! "But we had not yet discussed it."
Claudia sat down in a wing chair by the doors, serene and confident. "You may trust my judgment,
"Did you explain why we required a governess?"
"I gave out the story you have told everyone here: that your cousin's son has come into your care, and you intend to raise him as if he were your own." She waved such concerns aside. "This woman comes highly recommended. Miss Waterson raised both Lady Gilbert's sons and one of her daughters, and received an excellent character from her previous employer. We are extremely lucky that she finds herself between positions at precisely the time we require her services."
A professional governess, no doubt prune-faced and humorless.
"Donal needs discipline, as you yourself have admitted. You have no experience in raising children. You know as well as I that no lady of the
ton
caters to her child's daily needs. Donal must learn independence and his place in the world in order to preserve your fiction."
"I had no governess—not when I lived with my father or with you."
Claudia smiled. "Your father spoiled you. But when you came to me, you were a very quick study. You understood instinctively how to move in Society. You were a pleasure to teach. Donal is entirely different. He is half wild and uneducated. Once he is under Miss Waterson's care, he will no longer be running after servants. He will receive a proper English gentleman's education."
And that he must have
.
"I will see her,"
"That is all I ask."
While Claudia was in a receptive mood,
seems
an ideal date. It will give me time to find a steward and distribute more goods to the tenants and villagers. Mr. Appleyard—"
"You know my opinion on bestowing such excessive generosity on the tenantry and laborers so soon," Claudia said. "They shall come to expect even more indulgence, which you can scarcely afford. And you've already done much."
Too much
, her silence added.
"Only because the estate was so badly neglected.
What I have spent thus far is much less than what I have paid for a few gowns in
Claudia leaned forward, her handsome face filled with concern. "You were not intended for this,
For a moment,
But I have changed, Aunt
, she thought with wonder.
I can see beyond the next visit to the modiste, the next ball, the next foppish beau
.
She saw, instead, Hartley Shaw, his face intent as he instructed her son in the proper way to groom a horse. Hartley Shaw, who would be utterly out of place in the drawing rooms and ballrooms of the
ton
, as confined and incongruous in tight pantaloons and form-fitting coat as a fox in a kennel.
would never know such a man.
"I am not the woman I was in
Claudia shot from her chair with uncharacteristic violence and strode to the double doors. She placed one elegant hand flat against a glass pane. Slowly her fingers curled into a fist.
"I hate this place," she said.
"God, how I hate it."
The baldness of the statement shocked
A woman who needed