Authors: Cyndy Aleo
43: Farewell
It’s impossible to spend another second in the bed with Donovan next to him without wanting to give in to his feelings and keep her here in the forest with him, so Jakub finds himself in a very cold stream in the afternoon under the guise of bathing. He realizes he's taking the forest equivalent of a cold shower, but his options are limited here, where creature comforts such as running water and coffee shops and antibiotics are unheard of. He wishes at least some of them were.
It would make this so much easier for him — and for Donovan, he thinks.
It takes a few minutes for the frigid water to bring clarity to his mind, because his first reaction is to hurl himself back out of the stream and rush back to the warm bed he’s just left. Donovan is injured, he tells himself. She's undoubtedly weak after her fever. And beyond all that, he has to send her back. Last night has proven to him that she can’t stay here. Human lives are fragile, and the Dziwozony lack everything she needs to stay alive.
Not once has she complained about how primitive it is compared to where they’ve come from, but he makes a mental list of all the things that would have helped last night: a doctor, a hospital, a thermometer, medications. Even simple pills that would have been kept in a medicine cabinet back in her apartment were things he'd need to trek hours for here in the forest. Last night, it had been something as simple as a fever that could have killed her. If he’s selfish and tries to keep her here, it could be so much worse: cancer, or …
His eyes prick and burn at the thought of Donovan dying in childbirth. But then his mind wanders to an image of Donovan round and glowing, carrying his child, then Donovan sweaty and panting and sliding under him doing things that would lead to her being round and glowing carrying his child. He ducks under the surface, hoping the icy water distracts him from both of his body's reactions: one making him hard, the other making his eyes threaten to overflow. He can’t keep her. He has to send her back.
He resurfaces only when his breath runs out, and he shakes his head to clear the water from his eyes. When he opens them, he thinks he must be hallucinating, because she’s there, on the bank, naked as any of the Dziwozony.
So many words bubble up, and he opens his mouth only to find he can’t speak any of them.
“It looks like it’s freezing in there. Is it cold?”
He nods, still incoherent. She takes a few steps closer to him and takes a seat on a large, flat rock that allows her to dangle her feet over the water. She dips one toe into the current and shrieks when she feels how cold it is.
“How can you stand it, Jakub? It's so cold! I'll turn into a popsicle if I get in there.”
He has no answer for her.
She leans back on the rock and stretches, her ivory skin glowing white in the sun that hits the rock.
“It's nice in the sun, though. I feel so much better than yesterday. I think that infection had been brewing right since, you know, everything happened. I'll just stay here while you finish your bath, if that’s—”
He's out of the stream and beside her on the rock before she can finish her sentence. There's a silent pause when they both know what will happe
n
—
no sound but the water dripping from him onto the rock and their breathing. All the apologies vanish as he lines himself up so that every part of him is covering her.
She’s so warm under him, but she shivers — in anticipation or because of the touch of his body, cold from the water, he isn't sure. He lingers above her just a second more, his lips barely brushing hers. Denying her is impossible now, but this last moment before he completely gives in is sweet torture. She loses patience before he does, and comes up to meet him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her.
44: Memento
If the rock is uncomfortably hard under her, if being outside where anyone could come upon them at any moment is less than ideal, she doesn't care, because she’s waited so long for him, for this.
Every fantasy she'd had pales next to the reality of him; he’s more gentle, more careful, more loving with her than she'd imagined. Neither of them close their eyes; she keeps hers on him, needing to drink in everything he does. Whether this is the first time of many or the only time, she needs to paint the memory of this on her heart so it's with her forever.
His eyes never leave her either, and he seems bent on watching everything, his gaze often following his hands, as if he, like her, wants to commit every second to memory. Or as if he's reminding himself constantly that she's real.
He checks on her constantly, murmuring in her ear, making sure she's still with him. He's lost in her, but not so lost he's unaware. His hands are greedy, but she doesn't feel rushed; his mouth devouring, but not aggressive. Each time she answers "Yes" to both spoken and unspoken questions: Can he touch her here? Can he taste her there? Time stretches endlessly out in front of her, and every second is drenched in thinking,
He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.
She feels him pressing against her, first her hip, then her inner thighs. She writhes beneath him, urging him to hurry, but he shifts away each time, refusing to let her rush them. Want, and want, and want, and when he's finally, finally inside her, he stills, allowing her precious moments to get used to the feeling of him, even as he continues touching her with hands, with lips, with tongue.
She tells him she's okay, but he waits even longer, kissing damp tears from her cheeks and tasting them from her neck. He moves in her, so gently she almost doesn't notice at first, and he touches, and she's caught in the moment, if not the feeling of it.
Her hands run over his back, warm muscles rippling under her fingers. She can feel her climax just under her skin, but she wants this to last forever, to hover here on the knife edge of pleasure, each time he thrusts within her better than the last.
His mouth meets hers, hungry, desperate. His teeth catch the ring in her lip, then retreat, letting his tongue lick into her mouth, mimicking the movements of his cock inside her.
She knows when he's close, when his rhythm stutters and his breath gusts in her ear in nonsensical syllables. She strokes his hair and whispers his name, and urges him to come with her, come in her as she arches against him, trying to press every inch of her skin against his, and then he's frozen in time: a statue.
A low keening groan comes from deep within him as his hips writhe against hers, each time longer and slower than the last. She strokes his back, now slippery with exertion. He rolls so he’s beneath her and pulls her into his arms, kissing the top of her head while he strokes her back, her arms, her hands.
“I'm so happy,
”
she says. “This is everything I ever wanted. I love you, Jakub. I love you.”
He doesn't answer, and that's okay. She doesn't expect him to say it back right now. She knows he’s been fighting this, and she thinks he might have dozed off, until he slides her off his chest gently and reaches for his pants.
“What are you doing? Do we need to go back already?”
“Where are your clothes?
”
he asks.
She points to where she left them next to a tree.
“Please put them on.”
Donovan isn't sure what to think of his abrupt change in behavior, but she does as he asks, and she's glad when she sees Bożena come up the path a few seconds after she's dressed. He must be able to hear — or sense — the women when she can't, and she's grateful; as comfortable as she is now being naked in front of him, she's still adjusting to the constant state of nudity the women exist in, and she's not ready to join them, no matter how many times they've seen her in a state of undress while she's been ill or injured.
Bożena greets them both, then stands next to Donovan, facing Jakub like she's waiting for orders. It's the oddest thing, and Donovan looks at her, wondering what's going on that Jakub hasn't told her, but he doesn't give her long to wonder.
“It's time for you to go, Donovan. It isn't safe for you here. Bożena will take you back to the hotel. You still have a return ticket to get home.”
He can't be serious. They just made love — outside — and now he wants to send her home to the life she was living before they came here? How can he make love to her and then minutes later tell her he's sending her away?
He expects her to go back to living an average life, without him in it. To go back to school, knowing she won't have the daily question of whether or not he'll remember her. To find a new job, since the extra money she's relied on helping Grace will obviously be gone, since Grace is, too.
In shock, she looks to Bożena for help, but the woman offers nothing, just stands waiting for Jakub's next command. Donovan wonders how long this has been planned, if he knew all along that he would fuck her before he sent her on his way. One good lay to get the human girl out of his system before he takes over as king, or whatever it is he is here.
Donovan opens her mouth to scream, but all it takes is one word from Jakub, uttered in a cracking voice, to set Bożena in motion: “
Proszę.
”
Before Donovan can say anything at all, before she can let loose with a string of curses, including the few new ones she has learned in Polish, Bożena has lifted her as easily as one would a small child, and is running with her through the woods, away from Jakub, away from everything.
The trees pass by in a blur; Bożena is running quickly, and soon Janina is running beside her, carrying Donovan's luggage. Before Donovan can truly process what’s happened, she’s at the edge of the forest, on the lip of the castle grounds, which look alien and unfamiliar. The women stroke her arms and kiss her hair before disappearing back into the trees, and Donovan falls to the grass next to her luggage. He gave her time to put her clothes on, but he left her just as stripped naked as if he hadn't.
She isn't sure when it was that she started crying, but she isn't able to stop. She sits there, in the wet grass, in this strange country, next to her suitcase, sticky with tree sap and covered with dirt, hugs her knees to her chest, and sobs endlessly.
45: Comfort
It’s wrong of Jakub to do this. It’s wrong of him to send her back to the life she knew before, when nothing can ever be the same for her. Janina pulls her along until they’re at least a mile away from where they left the girl before she stops. Bożena lets go of her hand, wrapping her arms around herself.
“How could he? How could he bed her knowing the girl wanted to stay and then make us take her away? She isn't like us. She didn't bed him as we do, with the intent of bearing a child or because it feels good at the time. She did so because to humans it is often an expression of love and a symbol of commitment. And he knew that.”
Janina looks at the ground.
“We should not question. We have to assume he knew what he was doing. We don't know everything about how humans interact.”
“You saw the girl just now. She wasn’t expecting this. She had no way of knowing this was coming. She was more confused by what he was doing than we were." Bożena says. "This isn’t how humans interact, or she wouldn’t have been so surprised. Why would he do this to her?”
“You said yourself he was upset last night when she was ill, that he wanted her back among humans with their medicines and doctors and hospitals, that he felt she would be safer there.”
“Yes, but he didn’t ask what we could do for her. And we haven't yet begun to find out what he’s capable of doing with his power. Her fever was nothing last night. His worries for her were unfounded. He may have sent her away because he panicked because she was ill. I just don't know why he didn't do so before he bedded her. She might have understood then.”
Janina shrugs and starts walking. “We don't need to know, sister. He has chosen to stay with us. He does not want her here. He wants her back with the humans. Why are you concerned with it?”
“Because she’s hurting and we left her there alone. Had she been a sister, we'd never have done that. And I think when we get back, we’ll find he’s also hurting, and that will affect us all. I think of the tribe as a whole, not just him. Not just the girl.”
Bożena follows Janina into the forest and back to the rest of her sisters, and now, Jakub. She has the idea of avoiding him once she’s back, but they’re more than a mile away when it's clear it's going to be impossible. Everything he feels is pumping out in waves at them, even at this distance, and it's crushing them.