The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (63 page)

I could not push her out. I had no strength. My body felt numb. I had passed out again as the doctor began to reach inside for the baby.

I awoke again to my body shaking. As the world rushed into my eyes, I saw Tutankhamun sitting next to me, shaking my body to life again and calling my ka back. He was holding a baby, but he was crying. He handed her to me.

He told me there was something wrong with her. She could not breathe right. There was a cord from my body that had wrapped around her neck. When the doctor pulled her out, her face was a deep blue. She had begun to breathe, but it was not enough. Her fingertips were now turning blue. Her chest sounds were irregular. She was not responding the way a baby should. And her shoulders were curved too close together. Her chest was too small for her organs. It was also too small to let air gather inside of her. Her body could not work right.

She would not live through the night.

As I looked down upon her face now, lips blue and trembling slightly with her shallow breaths, I knew she was about to leave me. Another daughter, gone…

Tutankhamun was gone. Everyone was gone from me. It was just me and my daughter.

Everything about her face looked like it should. She was thin for a baby, but she had dark hair about her scalp. She had thin lips, ovoid eyes, and a nose that was small and round. Her eyes were closed as she slept fitfully. Her limbs would shutter for a breath and then relax. Her face would contort in pain. Life was not good to her, but she would not have to suffer much longer.

I sang to her. The doctor said she was not able to hear as she did not startle to loud noises as babies should. I did not care. I sang to her a song my mother had once sang to my sisters and me.

“
The moon is bright, the wind is quiet
,

the Nile breaks upon the sands
.

The reeds sway soft along the waters
,

the Nile breaks along the sands
.

So baby sleep, dreaming sweet dreamings
,

I’ll hold you close unto my breast
.

The Nile breaks its clear blue waters
,

and gives forever to this land.”

Her breath began to rattle again, and pain shattered her soft features. Her forehead crinkled. Her small lip trembled. She tried to take in breath, but her chest would not expand. Her cry was so weak, it was a whisper.

I stroked her cheek with my finger, softly up and down.

“
The moon is bright, the wind is quiet
,

the Gods breathe life unto this land
.

They watch us walk along the waters
,

they keep us safe from Seth’s cruel hands
.

So baby sleep, dreaming sweet dreamings
,

I’ll hold you close unto my breast
.

The Nile breaks its clear blue waters
,

your ka rests safe in this great land.”

Her fingers flared, her face turned blue. I could see her choking. I did not turn away. I watched it all. It was my punishment for letting the demons into my body. They were the ones who took her now. Her eyes flashed open. Her small pupils looked into mine. For that one moment, clarity entered her eyes. She focused on me, she relaxed…

A heartbeat later, all I held was her flesh and bones. Her ka was gone.

I thought I had no more tears, but they flowed hotly down my cheeks. My child’s eyes were still open. They would forever be locked on a world that she could not touch.

A chilling scream once again emanated from my throat. The lioness was released once again.

All through the night, I screamed curses up to the heavens and into the winds. It was the time of the year when the gods were weary as the year was ending, but I would not let them rest.

When the citizens spoke of this day, they called it the Feasting of Sekhmet.

At the Feast of Crossing the Sky
1322 B.C
.

Pharaoh Ay’s Coronation

“I warned you, didn’t I,
wife?”
Ay said to me. The words made my flesh prickle in disgust. Yes, I am his wife now, and he is pharaoh.

I held Tawaret tighter to my breast. “You have what you want, I promise you no trouble. I will be faithful to you as I was the pharaohs before.”

To think that I have lived to see four pharaohs rise to the throne! Recalling my history lessons, I doubted many who came before could say such a thing at 23 years of age.

“Promises mean nothing to you. They also meant nothing to your mother, for a time at least.” Ay flicked his wrist, and more guards poured into my room. As we stepped back to put space between us, I saw a bound man enter and shoved down onto his knees. When I met the man’s eyes, my heart dropped down to my feet.

Ay had found Wahankh too! His control over me was utterly complete.

“How did you --” My voice shook, from sadness or anger I was not sure which.

“What matters is there are loose ends to tie up. I intend to do that tonight.”

“No! You can’t! I have not sought him out or spoken to him. Leave him alone! He has lived quietly and peacefully,” I begged. I pushed Tawaret behind me as I took a step forward.

Ay grabbed a sword from a guard’s hands and pointed it at me. In the light of my lamps, I wondered if that was dried blood my eyes spotted upon the edge? “He is a curse from the city of damned souls. He was supposed to die, as was your daughter. Seems as though both you and your mother were able to save someone you loved. But no more.”

I lunged forward as Ay’s blade moved through Wahankh’s body, back to front. I saw the tip poke out between the flaps of the front of his tunic. Blood poured from his mouth. When the sword pulled back, Wahankh fell sideways onto the floor.

I dropped down next to him, unafraid of the blade dripping death so close to me, and cradled his head in my arms. His eyes focused on me for a moment, “I’m sorry. I have failed you. I wanted to see you again -- to make sure you were all right after your baby --”

“Shh! It’s all right. I’m sorry I never went to find you again. I wanted to, Father.”

His breathing was labored, and he had trouble talking. I could hear liquid building up in his chest. “The stories I could tell you -- of your mother -- if only we had a few more -- just a little more --” His eyes looked past me, and I thought his ka had left, but he spoke again, “Is that your daughter?”

I swiftly looked to see Tawaret standing behind me. Her mouth had dropped open, but she quickly collected herself. She crouched down and touched Wahankh’s arm. I nodded my head yes as tears welled up at the corners of my eyes.

“She looks as beautiful as her mother… and her grandmother… I am happy.”

Then Wahankh let out a long breath.

My father died… again.

“That’s one.” Ay said slickly, like saliva dripping off a hungry lion’s tongue.

I quickly stumbled backward, pushing Tawaret, and somehow made it up to my feet.

“How can you? What do you want from me? I pledged myself to your reign! Why must you kill everyone I love?” I asked thinly.

“I’m sorry, did you think you were excluded from this group?” he replied, his eyes as dead as my father’s.

“Father, stop this!” Mutbenret snapped. “Your heart is as heavy as stone! You curse yourself!”

“So be it. The gods have failed me. I saw their failure so many years before you were born. They abandoned us to a cruel and vile Demon that the heretic’s brother followed. He plagued our lands and destroyed all that we held dear!”

“But He spared your life! In the water tunnel, you were saved by Him! How can you forget such mercy?” I pleaded as images of the dream a hand’s breadth of time before returned to me.

“I was not saved. I was put up for slaughter! Wait… How do you know of such things? You were not there!”

“Djutmoses took my ka there before the banquet, before you woke me. I saw --”

Ay raised his blade and took a step forward. His pupils were so very black as he plunged the bloodied blade forward. I could see it rushing towards me. I found myself wondering how Ay could move so fast.

I closed my eyes. I did not need to watch.

Mutbenret screamed.

Nakht-min howled with a rage. It filled the room with hate. It chilled my rapidly pounding heart to hear it.

I could hear swords drawn.

I opened my eyes.

“No!” Horemheb cried out.

The blade did not strike my flesh… it got stuck in someone else’s.

Chapter 3

He Enfolds Him in His Rays, He Gives Him Eternity as King, Like the Aten

1322 B.C. – Ninth year of Tutankhamun’s reign

The wind was strong, churning up forms along the road of rock and rubble. Whispers of dust would gather together to form long, lean snake-like bodies rearing up from the ground. They would slither about the road, their bodies rolling and coiling and brushing up our path with their gritty bellies. Then they would disappear back into the winds which had once given rise to their brief lives.

Another burial. Another visit to the Valley of the Dead. Another body to rest in darkness evermore.

I felt certain of nothing. As the litter I was carried in swayed beneath the slaves’ feet, I saw an empty land. Once I had dreamed of my family resting safely and happily in the West. I saw them laughing together, free of pain and anger and greed. I envisioned them waiting for me, their favorite sister to tease, their middle child who outlived them all. I imagined them preparing my rooms with plush ornamentation in colors only Ra could see, colors this world was not powerful enough to give life to. I thought of Mayati and Meketaten both spoiling their Tasherit with lavish food and endless games. I could almost feel their arms around me, pressing me into them, on that day I would finally rejoin them. And there my daughter would be, the girl I never had the chance to love. My sisters would take care of her, tell her embarrassing stories of me and laugh together, and play with her until I arrived. The feeling of joy at seeing them all again had given me strength and hope… what a great day that would have been!

But now I saw nothing. Mayati was gone. Merytaten Tasherit was gone. Their bodies had been destroyed, their memories had been smashed. They were lost.

And now a second baby girl had died in my arms. Who was left to take care of my two daughters? I could not even be sure that Mother’s soul had survived. They had begun to tear her ka from the Afterlife with each wrapping they had undone. Did she remain still, or was she torn apart? Did the tomb raiders rip her ka into pieces by violating the wrappings that held her body together?

I thought of Meket and what she was probably thinking about all of this. Probably she would be disappointed at my complete failure to protect them. Her own tomb had been invaded; her wall images had been desecrated. I had failed them all.

Who would take care of my daughters now?

We reached the small tomb entrance where my firstborn had been laid. Silently, our small entourage entered. It was a welcome respite from Aten when we entered. No longer did God look down on me harshly. No longer did the sands beat at my ankles and feet in their flurry of activity.

Nahkt-min carried a freshly carved box. Mutbenret carried my little girl. Tomb workers followed at our heels. As we got to the end of the path, we rounded a corner to the final chamber. There was the small form of the girl who had died years before.

Nahkt-min and Tutankhamun walked over to my first daughter, her body wrapped. Tutankhamun picked her up gently as Nahkt-min set down the small chest and opened its lid. They placed her form in the box. Then next to her, Mutbenret laid down the slightly larger form of my second.

When they stepped back, workers from the west bank’s village stepped in to seal up the box. Inside, their bodies would be safe eternally. Perhaps their kas would find each other as their bodies snuggled close together. Perhaps they could watch over each other, as sisters should.

I knew nothing was assured anymore in life or in death. I knew that life and death was a dance that could easily be tripped up by a few dissonant notes. I knew that I could not watch them all the time, they were at risk still. Robbers could shatter their bones in one motion. Why did I hold out hope anymore?

I had failed.

I followed the procession back out into daylight. Mutbenret tried to put her arm around my shoulders, but I shrugged her off. I would take no comfort. I deserved none. All I had left to my family was Tutankhamun, whom I had failed and who had not spoken to me along the entire journey back to Waset. There was Ay, who was constantly my adversary. There was Tawaret, who was back with the mother she had been raised by. The person who was not me. The person I would never be. The gods had made that very clear to me.

I unclenched my left hand slightly. I still held the small piece of Merytaten Tasherit in my hand. I had not let it slip from my grasp since that horrible day. If I had failed all others, I would at least make this right. I would make her name glitter with gold eternally. No one would break her then. I would keep it with me every moment. Now it was my turn to restore Merytaten Tasherit to my sisters. This was one thing I just could not fail at.

And I knew there was only one person who could help me right this wrong.

*****

For many days, I just sat and stared at the broken pendant in my hands. I never let it out of my sight. I never let it be removed from my touch. If I had to bathe, I would set it next to me and make sure a hand was always resting over it. My left hand no longer felt comfortable if it was not bunched together in a fist. I thought of the irony of this, how royals were buried clutching the symbols of our birthright with tight fists, the crook and flail, a symbolic posture for the dead. Here I was already locked in that position trying to preserve a life, not to stake a claim for my soul.

I wanted to see him, my heart ached for it. But I could not go down to the workshop. Tia tried to encourage me, but I refused. How could I face him? I had wanted to run away from the White City to find Amyntas, but I had hesitated. I had stayed with my husband and become pregnant with child. I then broke my husband’s heart worse than if I had just run.