The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (61 page)

But I was happy. I would give her a choice to her life, unlike what I had been handed.

I was happy.

I was also pregnant once again.

Awake in Peace, Great God
1322 B.C
.

Funeral Banquet of Pharaoh Tutankhamun/
Pharaoh Ay’s Coronation

A cool breeze caressed my forehead, attempting to wipe the sweat away, as I stared down at my own sickness. I had not eaten much today, but my retching had produced more food than two days of eating combined. I was on all fours in a garden area. It was away from the banquet hall, as far away as I could get before illness had overtaken me. Now here I found myself staring down at my own disgust for this night.

Everyone was so happy. They had dancers and singers at the banquet. They cheered and praised the
new
pharaoh. They wished him many years of prosperity. No one said a word to me. No one gave condolence. Everyone forgot that this day was about my husband all because of this pampered party.

Tutankhamun was lost forever. His memory was gone. No one would speak of him after this night. It was all clear to me now. It had made me sick, all of it, and I had fled the dining hall.

I sat back on my buttocks and wiped away what was left of my upset stomach with a table linen I still had gripped in my hand. As I did so, I heard a familiar voice.

“Queen?”

Sharply I turned around. Stars cluttered up my vision at the rapid movement. As I let myself focus, I saw Tawaret approaching me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked harshly. “You were not supposed to come back to the palace!”

She came over to me, my beautiful 11-year-old girl, and helped me to my feet. “I had to see you. Pharaoh was my friend too, and I could not stay away. I followed you. I could not stand the… the
celebration
either.”

I let her help me up and walk me back into the tiled area.

“Please, let us walk to my room. There is something I should share with you,” I said.

“I want to tell you something as well, if you would allow me to burden you with my troubles. I know your heart is weighed heavy this evening already.”

I scoffed at her. “You never burden me, darling. You bring me peace and lift my soul. Thank you for coming here tonight. You do Pharaoh Tutankhamun much honor.”

She smiled shyly. “Thank you, Queen.”

We walked silently for a few moments as we approached the queen’s quarters. Tomorrow they could be Ay’s first wife’s chambers. The guards parted the golden gateway at my arrival. What did they see when they looked at me, a queen or a castoff?

We walked in slowly as I could feel my strength had been left outside tonight in the cool breeze. Tawaret laid me down on my bed. Then she sat down on the edge next to me. I laid my arm across my forehead and breathed deeply, willing my nausea to leave.

“Tawaret, please share your troubles with me,” I gently prodded.

“I cannot. You are so ill right now.”

“I am just sad. Please, share with me your life. Take my mind off of death this evening.”

Tawaret took in a deep breath and let it out heavily, “You once asked me what I wanted in life. Since coming back here, I think I have found that. I want a family, and I’m ready to start one.”

I removed my arm from my face and looked up at her. She was smiling as her next words flowed from her lips like a summer breeze, “My bloods have come! I am a woman now.”

“Oh, sweetheart!” I sat up and drew her to me tightly in a hug. “I am so happy for you.”

“My mother was worried. She said it was too early for such a thing to happen.”

I pulled back and looked her in the eyes. “No, this is just right. Do not worry about Tia-Sitre’s fears. Everything will be fine.”

“She says her bloods did not come until --”

“That does not matter. Tawaret, there is something that I should have told you years ago. We all should have, but we feared for your safety. Tia-Sitre and I agreed to something long ago. She saved you, but she --”

I was halted by the doors opening swiftly. It threw up a gale at us. Riding the current was Nakht-min. Mutbenret was behind him. Next to her was Tia and Amyntas. My heart felt like it leapt from my chest and up my throat at the sight of him.

Nakht-min spoke, “My queen, we are here to get you out.”

I stood up. I could see Tawaret’s expression out of the corner of my eye. She was frightened.

“Come, An,” Tia said as she reached out a hand to me. “Ay has everything he wants and no further need for you. We are going to get you out of here safely.”

“But the people…” I stuttered. I met Amyntas’s gaze. I could see his muscled arm taut, his hand resting upon a sword at his hip. His face held that long-asked question in its features -- would I finally choose him?

Mutbenret took a step toward me. “I will not let my father do this to you, not after what he did to my sister. I was too young to help then or even to understand what was coming. An, you’ve done your part.”

Nakht-min spoke again, “Ay has taken over everything. He dominates all of the government and the military. He wants total control, and I want no further part of it.”

“Where will we go? Where is it safe from him? What about your family?” I was not sure why I was arguing. This was what I wanted to do, but something in my thoughts kept stopping me.

“In the marshlands, there is much country to hide within. We could go north and find a small nome to settle in.” Mutbenret said. “My mother’s family is from there.”

“We will leave together,” Amyntas answered. He too stepped closer to me. I looked into his green eyes. I took a step to him. I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted him.

“Father, you can’t leave!” Tawaret broke apart our gaze. Her eyes had become wells of tears.

“We are all leaving,” he said firmly. “Tushari and Nakht-min’s children are waiting for us at my father’s house. We will all leave as a family.”

“But my mother --” Tawaret stopped her words. She looked at me, her eyes focusing and unfocusing. I could see our secrets, all those hints which would bud spontaneously, beginning to knit together in her heart.

“I will not leave without you, Tawaret,” I said softly.

“Sing to me.” Her voice was so quiet, it sounded like the whispers of breath in a tomb.

The song came to me so easily, as if I had last sang it only yesterday. “With your hand in mine, your love would always be returned. You have changed me by your love. Thus I say in my heart, in my soul, at my prayers I say: I lack my commander tonight, I am as one dwelling in a tomb. Together we rest side by side everlasting. May you stay eternal in health and in strength, for you are my health and my life in your lasting breath.”

Her face had drained of its color as I sang. I continued, “My sisters and I once sang that song in the forgotten city. I sang it to my daughter, my daughter born and named Ankhesenpaaten Tasherit. My daughter I had to hide so she too would not have to die as the rest of my family did…”

Her breathing changed to fast gulps of air. She backed away.

“Tawaret…” Amyntas said gently. He put a hand on her shoulder as she was backing toward him, but she jumped out of his reach and began to walk backwards to the open door. Tia reached out to her, but she would not take her hand. Her head was shaking furiously as her eyes moved between Amyntas and me.

“I’m sorry.” I knew I was throwing too much at her too suddenly, but time was running out. It was time to leave, and she was coming with me. She had to choose me. I was not sure what I would do if she did not, if she chose Tia-Sitre…

I watched her physical indecision. Then my eyes focused behind her. I froze.

She bumped into Horemheb. His sword was raised. With his free hand, he snatched Tawaret’s arm. She screamed.

“Let her go!” I snapped at him with all the command I could muster.

“Like I want to touch anything of the heretic’s,” he slurred back, tossing her on the floor like scraps for a dog.

Tawaret caught herself and landed on her knees and palms. She quickly looked up at me with complete fear in her gaze. I began to walk over to her, but Horemheb’s tone cut off my movements.

“Pharaoh approaches. Everyone on your knees.”

Nobody moved, nobody except me. I continued my stride over to Tawaret and helped her stand. She took in another gulp of air, she looked into my eyes, and then she threw her arms around me. She squeezed me tight to her.

“Mother.”

Such a small word whispered in my ear, but my heart swelled with joy as it came to me. Finally, my daughter was calling me by name again.

And then Ay walked in. He looked very proud of himself as he took in everyone standing within my chambers.

Time was up.

Chapter 2

A Crocodile Waits in the Shallows

1323 B.C. – Eighth year of Tutankhamun’s reign

The hot days of harvest had arrived, and I was ripe with my pregnancy. The markets had grown tenfold with sellers and their tables overflowing with food. It had been a good season, and the people had profited greatly from Tutankhamun’s tax reform. The farmers had been taxed their last year’s profit, and these same farmers had had a boon year this year. They had much left over for their own needs that they did not have to give to the tax collectors. The city was happy and content. Income flowed, and gold seemed to shine everywhere on everybody. We had much to give thanks for.

Tawaret took a break from her studies to help me in my pregnancy. I had been sick for much of it. Tutankhamun tried to stay with me, but it was a busy time of year, and he was gone often. So Tawaret stepped in. Tia was there too. She said my sickness was a good thing. She had been sick with all of her children, and they had come out healthy, strong babies.

There was no talk this time of boys or girls. The city was busy indulging itself with its hard-earned excess, and they paid little attention to me. Tutankhamun made many appearances and praised the gods for showering the city with gifts, proof that he was a worthy king. The people loved him once again.

Tutankhamun made sure to visit me when he received correspondence from Ay. We would laugh at his letters. Ay’s letters were so formal. They were devoid of any personality. If a stone wall could talk, we imagined it would sound like Ay, reciting only the facts, the units of measurements, the gold used, and none of the joy or emotion. None of the beauty.

I, for once, felt free from his ever-present gaze. Finally, we were making the decisions. Since his departure, everything felt celebratory. The citizens, the court, everyone around me was happy! Could one man truly spread so much discontent? It astounded me and frightened me at the same time.

I wondered to myself why God… Adonai… did not take Ay’s life? Wouldn’t everything be more at peace if Ay was no longer in our world? Adonai had charged him with a task, and Ay had clearly failed at it. Everyone else within our borders who had tried to follow Adonai had been killed. What was it about Ay that kept him from Death’s gaze? How did he continue to fill our lives with such malcontent? Why was this allowed to happen? And how come my family perished, people who loved this country, and sour Ay was left to make all the lands taste bitter? I wondered if Adonai was truly as powerful as the stories that followed His appearance. If Adonai wanted to care for us, I could not understand why He allowed people like Ay to taint our lives. I did not express these thoughts to anyone. I kept them close to my heart. The last thing I wanted to do was churn the air up with the mention of his name.

Ay’s last correspondence came with surprise company. As the boat from Thebes arrived carrying goods and ambassadors, an unexpected troupe was led into the throne room that day.

The petitioners had just left the ornate throne room, and Tutankhamun and I had a duck hunting venture planned. I was not allowed to wield my throwing stick by order of the pharaoh. He feared overtaxing my ka. How I had looked forward to showing off my skills this season too! But I understood. I could do little but hand him his bows, yet I still enjoyed the task. My husband seemed to glow with happiness on these outings. And we were together.

Horemheb was about to lead us from the room when the main doors parted. We stopped in our tracks as one of our Man-nefer overseers, Pay, led two familiar figures into our midst. Their trappings were different, though, as one was dressed as a priest and the other held a baby in her arms. The two got to their knees as Pay announced them.

“Welcome Pa-ramessu, High Priest of Amun, and his noble wife, Tia-Sitre.”

Horemheb and Tutankhamun quickly walked over to Pa-ramessu and slapped his shoulders in greeting. I stood frozen, eyes locked with Tia-Sitre. I was not sure what I could say or do. At our last encounter, I had taken Tawaret from her by command. My heart was wringing itself, trying to expunge itself of my shame. I tried to focus on the excited voices filling the throne room from the men instead of my guilty feelings.

Tutankhamun was furiously rubbing the priestly shaved head of Pa-ramessu and spoke up, “How do you like your new position?”

“I was surprised when Ay presented me with the honor!” Pa-ramessu answered, “Thank you, King, for granting me such an appointment.”

“I’ve been hearing the creaking of Horemheb’s old bones! I figured that you would appreciate a more comfortable position as well.”

“That’s because you’re so young the plaster in your tomb has yet to dry!” Horemheb returned. “Perhaps when they begin to mix the clay, you’ll grow some hair on that baby’s chest!”

“Everything looks young to men born when the foundations of the pyramids were laid!”

They all laughed heartily. I had not heard Tutankhamun laugh like that since… since before our first child was born, dead.

I began to join the group, walking slowly, as I spoke, “Speaking of births, please tell us of this wonderful addition to your family!”

Tia-Sitre responded, “This is Seti Merenptah, our son, named after Pa-ramessu’s father.”

“That deserves an evening in your honor. I will announce to the city this wonderful news!” Tutankhamun proclaimed loudly. His voice was almost too excited. I wondered if he was thinking of what was to come for him. Our own child would arrive shortly. Was there nervousness in his tone?