The Fourteen Day Soul Detox (10 page)

“You’re not out of
clothes,” Susan said, crossing over to my closet, “This
thing is stuffed.”

“Have you talked to Beza yet?”
I asked.

“Yeah, the kids are fine. After
breakfast, she’s going to take them to Reynolds’s Beach
Park, we can meet them there. Here, you can wear this.”

Some material smacked me and I rolled
over to find a white, eyelet maxi dress.

“Oh, I love that dress,” I
whispered.

“Wear it,” she said.

“It’s too big,” I
said.

“Wear a belt. Seriously Jamie, if
you don’t stop bitching and whining, I’m going to smack
you.”

“Ugh, go away,” I said, but
I grabbed the dress.

After slipping on the dress, I fished
my leather cowboy boots from the very back of my closet. Crossing to
my bathroom, I finished getting ready and walked out to the living
room.

Susan grinned wide as I walked into the
kitchen. “Wowee! Hot mama!” she called. “Is that
makeup I see on your face? I wonder.”

“You’re one to talk, can
you say midriff?”

“Your shirts don’t fit me
the way they used to,” she said, pulling her tank top over her
belly.

“That’s my shirt? I didn’t
even recognize it,” I said, turning my head to the side.

“My old shirt was nasty.
Pregnancy makes me sweat. I’m sweating right now,” she
said.

“The shirt is yours, keep it,”
I said.

She smiled. “I think I’ll
try on some more shirts then. I always wanted a Warped Tour shirt…
or maybe an Aerosmith on Tour—”

“I don’t care if you’re
pregnant, touch it and die,” I said, pointing at her.

She heaved a sigh. “Okay then,
let’s go get you some healthy shit.”

“You’re going to freeze.”
I pointed to her belly.

“Ha ha,” Susan said as she
pulled a big, knit sweater over her head. “The moment I put
this sweater on I start sweating. I’m so over this. Can I be
done?”

“You have two months to go, my
friend,” I said. As I was slipping my phone into my purse, it
lit up with a text.

Cameron:
I
woke up wishing I was at your house with you. Think I’m going
to cancel my afternoon so I can come earlier… if you’re
available.

I chewed on my lower lip, staring at
the message.

“Cameron?” Susan asked.

I looked up at Susan. “I should
cancel on him, shouldn’t I? I mean, if I’m going to break
it off with him, I shouldn’t have him babysit.”

She raised her hands. “Don’t
ask me, I’m on team Cameron. That is up to you.”

“
Team Cameron
? What, are
you twelve?” I said, staring back at my phone.

Me:
I
have to do a bunch of boring stuff, like laundry.

Cameron:
I
love boring stuff.

Me:
Okay,
when do you want to come over?

Cameron:
How
about one?

Me:
Sounds
good.

I looked up at Susan. “I suck at
this.”

“You have a couple days for that
one, girl. We either need to leave your house or I need to take this
sweater off,” she said.

I opened my front door to the sight of
my neighbor Clarke’s tan, shirtless back as he stood in his
front yard. Averting my gaze, I stepped out into the cool misty
morning.

“Whoa, looks like you lost your
shirt, friend,” Susan said as she exited my house.

Gritting my teeth, I turned my
attention to locking up my door.

“Oh, sorry,” I heard Clarke
say from behind me in a good-natured voice. “I just woke up and
came out here to feed my dog.”

“You’re the new neighbor?”
Susan said.

“Yeah, I’ve been here for
about a month and a half. I’m Clarke.”

I turned to see Clarke offer a hand
over his fence.

Susan gave Clarke a close-lipped smile,
“Susan. Sorry, I have a little cold so I’m not shaking
hands today.”

“No problem,” Clarke said,
pulling back his hand as Buster jumped up on the fence.

“Cute dog,” Susan said.

“Thanks. Morning, Jamie,”
Clarke said as his gaze found me. He smiled as his gaze moved down my
body.

“Good morning,” I said,
giving him a small wave and starting to walk toward the parking lot.

“You look really nice in a
dress,” Clarke called after me.

“Thanks,” I said, waving at
him again, though I didn’t look over. “Later.”

Susan caught up to me. “So, new
neighbor, huh?” she said.

I glanced over my shoulder, but now
only Buster sniffed around the ground in Clarke’s small yard.
“Uh, huh,” I said as I clicked my keys to unlock my car
remotely.

“Is it just me, or is that guy
kind of weird?” she asked, also glancing back. After a few
seconds when I didn’t respond, she said, “I’m
sorry; I shouldn’t say stuff like that. You have to live next
to him and I’m sure he’s perfectly normal. He’s
good-looking… for a guy—” she nudged me. “Now,
move over, I’m driving.”

I walked to the passenger side of my
car. “It isn’t just you,” I said, under my breath.

In the midst of opening her car door,
Susan froze. “Did he do something?” she asked in a
serious voice.

“No, Susan, chill out,” I
said, climbing into the passenger seat.

She sat down next to me, glaring.
“What’s going on?”

“Nothing! Don’t fly off the
handle. I’m just not a big fan of him, that’s all,”
I said.

“I don’t ‘fly off the
handle’,” she said, scoffing and shaking her head.

“Oh no? How about when you and
Logan beat the crap out of that guy for groping me?”

“I was like nineteen back then,
and drunk,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“You were charged with assault,”
I said.

“The charges were dropped,”
she shrugged, but when she looked back at me, her expression was
serious. “You’d tell me if something was going on,
right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, of course
I would. I just… I don’t like him. He bangs on the wall
every time Sarah makes a noise. Well, every time she makes a loud
noise. But he doesn’t smoke pot right next to Sarah’s
open window, so I guess he’s an improvement from the last
lady.”

“You want me to talk to him?”
she asked.

“No, let me handle this. I’ve
got it, okay?”

“Fine,” she said, starting
up the car.

Pulling out my phone, I texted Beza.

Me:
Everything
okay?

A minute later, I got her reply:

Everything
is wonderful. We are heading to the beach now.

“Is that Bee?” Susan asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Ask her if she wants me to pick
anything up for her at the health food store.”

After relaying the message, I read the
message I received back, “Carrots.”

“Cool,” Susan said, pulling
into the parking lot.

Susan weaved around pedestrians,
circling the parking lot four times before someone started pulling
out of a space.

A red truck pulled up in the oncoming
lane and turned on their blinker for our spot.

“No fucking way,” Susan
said as she rolled down the window. “Are you really going to
steal the spot of a pregnant lady?” she yelled out her window.

“What?” A woman said,
poking her head out of the truck.

“I’m pregnant! You are
going straight to hell if you steal my parking spot,” she
yelled.

“That’s a little intense,”
I said as the red truck drove off.

“It’s the truth,”
Susan said, taking the vacated spot. After exiting the car, we had to
wait for six cars to pass before crossing the parking lot and
entering into the crowd gathering inside the health food store.

“So many healthy people,” I
said.

“Oh, yes, I forgot this is sample
day,” she said excitedly, looking at a woman offering what
looked like potato pancakes. She joined the line waiting to get the
sample.

“Oh, no,” I said, pulling
her out of line. “You’re getting me that caffeine
replacement thing you promised, and then we’re going to go to
the beach. I’m not spending my entire Saturday in line for free
samples.”

She turned a grumpy look on me. “Fine,”
she said, “Okay, we’re heading to the smoothie line.”

We went to stand behind five women in
the line. Papier-mâché fruit hung above us on all sides
like giant healthy Christmas ornaments.

“So, now that we are in public, I
have a confession to make,” Susan said.

I turned a glare on her.

“And remember, I’m
pregnant. So if you attack me in here, everyone here will take my
side.”

“How many times are you going to
play your pregnancy card?” I asked.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m going to
be playing it until the moment I pop this little guy out,” she
said.

“What did you do? Out with it,”
I said.

“So… a couple of days ago
Beza kind of set up a play date with Aiden and that kid of that dad
you think is sexy.”

“Why would I care about that?”
I asked, shrugging.

“Because she set it up for today.
I mean, for this morning. He’s there at the beach with her.
Beza had this big plan of introducing you to him this morning.”
Susan shrugged. “Obviously, this was before it just happened
naturally—”

“What?” I yelled at her.

All the women in the line turned.
Seeing who I was yelling at, the elderly women next in line to us
glared at me.

Susan gestured to the glaring lady with
a small nod of her head and chuckled.

“I’m going to kill her, for
real this time,” I said under my breath. “And you too.”

She raised her hands in protest. “Don’t
kill the messenger,” she said with a huge smile.

“I thought you were...” I
did air quotes with my fingers, “Team Cameron.”

“I am. But Beza isn’t,”
she shrugged, with a ‘what can I do?’ gesture.

“Honestly, I’m just trying
to figure out my life, do you really think I need all this…
effing interference?”

“No, but like I said, Bee
arranged this days ago. If it makes you feel any better, that guy
doesn’t know either,” Susan said. “Well, he
probably knows now as Sarah is there with them, but he didn’t
know when she arranged it.”

“You are a pair of devious…
witches,” I said, glaring.

“Ooh, I like that. And, if it
makes you feel any better, I promise we won’t do it again,”
I said.

“You speak for your betrayer of a
wife?” I said.

“No, but if I find out about any
nefarious plot, I’ll tell you this time,” she said.

“Swear on your life,” I
said, crossing my arms over my chest.

She traced a big, ‘X’ with
her finger on her chest.

“Hello?” A woman’s
voice called out, “Excuse me ladies, you’re up.”

We both turned to see a lady jumping up
and down behind the smoothie counter. Her blonde, frizzy bob circled
her smiling face like dandelion fluff.

“We’ll take a Nutty Berry
smoothie with protein powder, a wheat grass shot, and I want a Merry
Berry smoothie with yogurt and honey,” Susan said.

“Awesome.” The woman gave
us a receipt, and said, “You take this up to the counter to
pay.”

After grabbing some muffins and
carrots, we paid for our drinks and groceries. Returning to the
counter, I found a little shot glass of green next to our drinks.

Susan grabbed it and lifted it up to my
face. “That’s for you,” she said, smiling.

“You serious? Is it gross?”
I asked.

“No, it tastes good,” she
said, grinning wider and giving me an exaggerated wink.

“Meaning it tastes horrible,
right?” I asked.

“Yep, tastes like ass. Drink it.
Your date awaits,” she said.

Rolling my eyes, I tipped the contents
of the shot glass into my mouth. The taste that exploded into my
mouth was as if I’d lain down on a freshly mowed lawn and
scooped a big pile of lawn trimmings into my mouth.

I coughed. “Seriously Susan, if
I’m going to taste something that bad, I at least want to get
drunk from it.”

She laughed, handing me my smoothie.

“Please don’t tell me this
one tastes like tanbark,” I said, taking it from her.

“I’d say more like
asphalt.”

I paused with my mouth over the
smoothie.

“Joking! That one is good,”
she said.

Opening up the lid, I sniffed it,
inhaling a nutty raspberry combination scent. Running my fingers over
the plastic lid, I took a small sip. “Almonds and raspberries?”
I asked.

“Like I know. I just chose yours
at random,” she said as we avoided shopping carts on our way to
the sliding glass doors. “Feel up to driving yet?” she
asked.

“I feel like a slug, but I can
drive,” I said.

“I still think I should get
points for telling you that this guy is going to be there at the
beach,” Susan said before taking a big sip of her drink.

“You’ve got to be kidding
me,” I mumbled as I opened the car.

“I’m going to get in
trouble for it,” she said while settling into the seat and
using the lever to push it back.

“If you want points, go sneak
Sarah out,” I said.

She laughed, “No way, you chicken
shit.”

“Exactly, no points,” I
said while looking over my shoulder to check for pedestrians before
backing up out of the parking space.

“Want a muffin?” Susan said
with her mouth full.

Above us, large stretches of blue
interrupted the dissipating fog layer. Birds flew between lamp poles,
swooping in happy flight. The car keeping pace with us on the main
road had surfboards on top and men without shirts inside.

“Looks like it’s going to
be a beautiful one,” Susan said while taking off her sweater.
“By the way, I’m eating another muffin.”

“Traffic is not horrible, but it
looks like people are going to be heading our way.” I pointed
to a bunch of college-aged kids in bathing suits, loading a cooler
into their car. “I hope we can get parking.”